As the Yankees stagger toward Opening Day, Anthony Volpe offers what this team desperately needs: A buzz.

On a day when two top March Madness seeds went kaboom, Anthony Volpe claimed the Yankees' first tabloid back page in over a week: He homered, prompting the Daily News to joyously proclaim "Volpening Day," a burst of  excitement that broke across the Yankiverse like a new Kardashian sex tape. 

If Volpe doesn't make this team, if he's sent back to the strip malls and hilly permafrost of Moosic, the Yankees' Opening Day lineup will be remembered for its contrasts: A standing "OH!" for Aaron Judge, and a wall of silence, if not outright booing, for Josh Donaldson and Aaron Hicks, the villains of last season's final episode. In the eyes of fans, Volpe has come to represent hope on a Yank roster that has conjured little of it this spring.

Nobody expects Judge to hit 60 HRs again, and the last month has derailed the notion of a powerhouse rotation and lockdown bullpen. (Check yesterday's  line on Albert Abreu: Yikes!) 

The Yankees look far weaker than they did a month ago, before the tweaks of spring rolled into Tampa like the red tide. Expectations have withered. After he signed Carlos Rodon, Hal Steinbrenner - in an adrenal burst - said, "We're not done!" In fact, he apparently was. The only thing Hal has signed since are autographs, assuming anybody wants one. The YES team's ginned up excitement over the competition between Willie Calhoun and Rafael Ortega did not reach nuclear fusion. The team offers eight infielders and two outfielders. If it were a plane, it would have six propellers and one wing.

In recent weeks, Volpe has emerged as the prime narrative of camp. In the last few games, he seemed to be lagging. Yesterday's HR may have sealed the deal, though Oswald Peraza enjoyed a similar day: Two singles in four at-bats.

As opening day SS, Peraza makes a lot more sense. He's slightly older, 22; he played in the Majors last September; and dispatching him back to Scranton - where he excelled last year- would feel like the Yankees were punting on third down. But Peraza hasn't contributed any back pages yet, and Volpe is working on his third. 

To keep NYC from becoming a Mets town - it already may have happened - the Yankees need something, somebody, new. His name is Anthony Volpe. And next week may be Volpening Day.