Wednesday, April 12, 2023

A perfect night ends on a tweak

When I launch my OnlyFans site, it will feature hardcore, x-rated, full Sodom-&-Gomorrah  Yankee Porn... like the box score to your rigid right. 

Check out the "2"s in that hit column. 

And the "3" next to F.Cordero. 

Ooh, baby, you know what Daddy likes...

I can fondle this all day. It's the swimsuit edition of box scores. Eleven runs. This box should be banned in Tennessee. 

Last night brought the kind of Yankee success that groomed me as a child: A 5-run inning, a 3-run HR, bullpen mop up, every batter with a hit. Not only that, but the Mets lost, Garrett Whitlock - Boston's stolen goods - got walloped by Tampa (5 runs), and the guy we traded to the Cubs for Scott Effross - Hayden Wesneski, couldn't last two innings: 7 runs. And in the minors, Estevan Florial and top-pick Spencer Jones both homered twice. A damn near perfect night. So why do I feel so empty and unhorsed?


On a ball hit to the wall, Gleyber stopped at first base. Then he came out. 

And Boone didn't sound worried? 

Well, then, that settles it: 

We. Are. Fucking. Screwed.

Gleb was enjoying the best start of his career, so - of course, he tweaks something! And why would the Yankees possibly bother to test him? Pooh-Pooh Boone doesn't think it's important? Oh, sure. Nothing to worry about, folks, certainly not injuries to the Yankees. That never happens, right?  

A nine run lead in the ninth, on a warm cozy night in Cleveland with the planets aligned and the box score brimming with raw, sweaty sex. Then the mayflies hatch, and the gnats start pouring into your skull. Nothing to worry about? There is always something to worry about. That's the price of Yankee porn.

11 comments:

JM said...

It continues to amaze me that these young guys who are in great shape can injure themselves by swinging a bat, or running to first, or reaching for the shampoo in the shower.

I mean, we were all young once. (Well, most of us.) Does anyone have a history of 20-something injuries? For me, it was tennis, softball, occasional pick-up football, lifting weights, general idiocy--and nothing. Zilch. The pinched nerves in the shower came decades later.

What are these guys, thoroughbred horses? Prone to forelock issues because their legs have been bred to be breadsticks?

Every year, the same old thing. This stuff just mystifies me. You'd think as professional athletes, they'd be less likely to get hurt than we were. Instead of more.

Joe Formerlyof Brooklyn said...


This is what we all get for wishing that Donaldson and Hicks injure themselves and STAY injured until November.

It's freaking karma.

And I hate it.

Carl J. Weitz said...

Even though I see no number 6 or 9 in the box score, El Duque's entry is making my morning a lot more up and at 'em, if you know what I mean. Frisky, even. I don't even need to search the medicine cabinet for my little bottle of......Geritol. Thank you!

Carl J. Weitz said...

@ JFB.....you know what they say about karma: "Buy now, pay forever."

BTR999 said...

I take full responsibility for the Torres injury. I had the hubris to start him in my fantasy league and look what happens.
Bah, humbug!

HoraceClarke66 said...

Very true, JM. And I think it's less karma than...wait for it...TOO MUCH TIME IN THE !#@ WEIGHT ROOM!!

What else would be the difference between the Yankees of recent vintage and those of yesterday-yore? It's the dimwitted need to make sure these guys look like NFL safeties, or Charles Atlas.

Nuts.

And oh, by the way, Rodon also managed to hurt something else while rehabbing.

Kevin said...

Way too much training. A person can add a great deal of strength without adding mass. A big reason is that the muscles become stronger than the connective tissues, and PING! Is it me, or are injuries more prevalent in MLB than in the NBA?

Kevin said...

Strangely Gleybor's injury hasn't been reported by the "usual sources". WTF?

HoraceClarke66 said...

Kevin, I wonder if it's because MLB is so much more sudden stop and start. Basketball is at least almost continuous motion, most of the time.

But whatever the case, this is killing us.

BTR999 said...

1VolpeSS
2JudgeDH
3Rizzo1B
4StantonRF
5CorderoLF
6Cabrera, O2B
7Kiner-Falefa3B
8HigashiokaC
9Hicks, Cf

Boone riding the hot hand with hicks, LOL
No Torres
No Update
No Justice
No Peace

Team won’t be Hot in Cleveland today.

Joe of AZ said...

God Forbid DJ plays 2 days in a row...Jesus