Welcome to another of Inspector Cashie's Famous Locked-Room Mysteries!
Not as baffling, to be sure, as such previous Cashie perennials as, "The Case of the Promising Player Simply Released," or "The Case of the Useful Player Sold for Cash Money and No Players." But intriguing nonetheless!
SPOILER ALERT! IF YOU READ BEYOND THIS LINE, WE IMPLORE YOU NOT TO REVEAL THE SHOCKING ENDING TO ANYONE...WHO IS A YANKEES FANS BELOW THE AGE OF NINE. IT MIGHT CAUSE PERMANENT DAMAGE TO YOUNG MINDS!
My friend Lucas pointed out what should have been the obvious answer.
While Harrison Bader was a miserable hitter in St. Louee, Louee—.212/.296/.341/.637—outside the Gateway City, he was something else altogether: .277/.339/.468/.807.
ZOUNDS!
My suspicion is that, much like one of Agatha Christie's stage detectives—or at least, Stoppard's parody of them—Inspector Cashie thought he was going to wrap up a championship 2022 season in one brilliant, final coup.
For the grande finale, he would bring on Harrison Bader, whom nobody but Cashie realized was really a terrific hitter as well as a great fielder. Sure, it would cost us Monty, but Oakland's Monty would compensate for that that, as would the heap o' tested, veteran relievers he would bring in for the stretch run.
Case closed!!
Well, unfortunately the Inspector failed to note that, from those same, revealing Bader stats could be gleaned the fact that Cashie's new Joe DiMaggio had also missed nearly a quarter of every major-league he ever played (23.2 percent).
After 2022, Bader's MIA pct. rose closer to ONE-THIRD of all games (28.6 percent) played. Cashman had picked up a terrific defensive player with, perhaps, untapped offensive potential...who could never stay on the field long enough for it make a bit of difference.
And of course, every single one of the pitchers acquired was also showing signs of being overworked and hurt, and soon landed on the DL.
Curses!
Forget about strategies to reduce Judge's salary demands, or any other oblique purpose. It all goes back to Baker's Axiom: "Never underestimate the role of stupidity in human affairs."
Inspector Cashie is simply an idiot. Unfortunately, we're still stuck in the locked room with this corpse of a Yankees team for years to come.
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3 comments:
Sometimes it takes years to have a trade marinate in order to see their value.
With Asshman, it takes about as long as a dead skunk in the middle of the road to assess the fragrance.
[Great song too.]
That was a great song, Archie, from the irascible father of the current millennial favorite and snoozemeister.
Although Justin Peck of the NYCB choreographed a piece set to the young Wainwright's music and it was very, very good. I think the dancing kept me awake.
Yes, his son is insipid., But nothing like being 18, when drinking was legal, and driving around town, when drunk driving was not really frowned upon, and singing that song at the top of out lungs listening to AM radio.
[That was, of course, after Bobby Murcer and Roy White had propelled the Yanks to a well earned Saturday afternoon victory.]
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