Wednesday, November 1, 2023

If the 2023 season ends tonight in Arizona, one song must be played

Hopefully, the Diamondbacks will lose tonight and proceed straight to Runner-Up Heaven. The world will miss their young star, the great Caroll Corbin, Coral Caybin, Cabin Codene, um, whatever, along with that Merrill guy who went to Korea to find his true, inner-Scaramuccci.  

Ah, yes... Arizona! I hoped for some 140-degree nights and maybe the Yellowstone superquake, a Kari Lake of fire. But, here's to the D-backs commemorating their great almost-almost by reliving their greatest moment heretofore:

The 2001 world series postgame celebration. 

Back then, as the nation still burned from the aftermath of 9/11, moments after the Yankees lost on a humpback liner, the gracious home team Diamondbacks celebrated by playing one particular song. I'll never forget it. Neither should you. And hopefully, neither will the juju gods.

So, if they lose tonight, let's hope they play the song. Go ahead, play it, play it again, Sam. 


No, not that song. They'll need a song that starts spreading the news. 

After all, the Rangers would be leaving, today. 

They'll want to wake up in a city that never sleeps...

As
 king of the hill, top of the heap.

If they can make it with Aroldis Chapman, they can make it anywhere.

Yes, that song. Go ahead, Zona, play it, play it again.

35 comments:

JM said...

Given the confusion over Corbin Whosis' name, I offer this advice.

Carol O'Connor was the actor who played Archie Bunker on All in the Family.

Carol O'Connell is the writer of those great books about the rich, incredibly well-dressed, beautiful psychopath female cop, Mallory.

I hope that clears everything up.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Should be the Liza Minnelli version.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Amen, Duque! What goes around comes around, and it couldn't happen to a nicer franchise.

You'll remember, back in 2001, fans almost everywhere were going out of their way to show their love for New York. Even in Boston—BOSTON!—there were tributes and heartfelt expressions of empathy.

Not in Arizona. By the time we got to Phoenix, the D-back fans, their juiced star, their asshole pitchers, and their goniff of an owner were prepared to put the shiv in and put on one of the most classless displays in baseball history.

Fuck 'em.

HoraceClarke66 said...

And fuck Brian Cashman. As many here have pointed out, the Rangers are winning with a virtual rotation of former Yankee pitchers—none of whom brought anything of worth in return, if they were even traded at all.

Local Bargain Jerk said...


Should be the Liza Minnelli version.

Perfect, RTF, absolutely perfect.

JM said...

Liza also has an advantage by not bellowing like an injured cow.

Late-career Frank was not the Frank to listen to. Just imho.

AboveAverage said...

Or at least a Liza Minnelli impersonator…..

To keep it classy

AboveAverage said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Hammer of God said...

So it turns out that them lawmen of Texas are made of fire & ice! I needn't have worried so much 'bout these evil serpents. Rangers can brand themselves as the greatest road warriors in history by shootin' up the serpents one mo' time in the desert sands tonight.

They've prepared a roarin' campfire. There's gonna be sum mighty tasty sheeshkabobs. I can smell 'em burnt suckers already!

JM said...

Hammer, I think they're going to cook beans.

We've all seen Blazing Saddles.

ranger_lp said...

In a world where Andrew Heaney gives up one run in five innings...FFS...

Doug K. said...

Rufus - yes the Liza version. Well done.

ranger_lp said...

Within hours of TV viewership data indicating Fox Sports’ coverage of Game 2 was the least-watched World Series game on record, Game 3 ratings delivered even worse news.

Fox’s telecast of the Texas Rangers’ Game 3 win over the Arizona Diamondbacks on Monday night averaged a record-low 8.13 million viewers, according to Sports TV Ratings.

That was below the previous low of 8.15 million viewers for Game 2 of Rangers vs. Diamondbacks on Saturday night.

Both topped the previous record low of 8.16 million viewers for Game 3 of the Los Angeles Dodgers vs. Tampa Bay Rays 2020 World Series in the bubble during the COVID pandemic. It marked the second-straight World Series game this fall to plunge to a record-low audience, putting this year’s edition on track to be the lowest-rated Fall Classic ever.

The Hammer of God said...

I don't know about everyone else here, but I watched the whole shebang game, from the beginning all the way to the final out, aside from voyages to the kitchen and the bathroom. I enjoyed every moment of that shellacking. Especially when the lone star lawmen ran up the score to 10-0. So damned good to see the evil serpents trashed. Apparently, the rest of America does not share my fetish for burnt rattlesnake.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Much as I love vintage Sinatra, gotta agree with JM and Doug. Minelli also had the advantage of being able to remember all the words, as opposed to the aging Frank, who simply repeated a couple lines when he forgot them, and then called it a day.

Again, love peak Frank. But by the end, he was mailing it in a lot.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Hammer, I enjoyed seeing AZ go down, too, but found much of the game numbingly dull. The broadcasters got down to asking each other what their favorite, scary movie was.

At this rate, MLB will soon be MIA.

Doug K. said...

Hoss - No. I want the Minelli version because it's for losers.

Frank is Frank. As Pete Hamill once wrote about him,he started his career idolized by women and ended it idolized by men. Count me as a fan.

HoraceClarke66 said...

I'm a fan, too. But you gotta remember the words.

AboveAverage said...

Fairytales can come true
They can happen to you
But those Yankees Suck

For its hard you will find
To say something that's kind
Cause those Yankees Suck

Cash can go to extremes
With impossible schemes
You can blog when your dreams
Fall apart at the seams

And life gets more painful
With each passing day
And love has exited you heart
You're a team-less stray

And if you should survive to 102,
There'll be nothing left to live for
And bupkis to do
So here is the worst part, you'll be an old fart
Because Hal and Cash have made the
Yankees Suck

HoraceClarke66 said...

Just heard on your 2023 World Series:

"And it's Corey Seagar to break up the no-hitter! Of course! It's ALWAYS Corey Seagar!"

No, we didn't want THAT guy.

JM said...

The Sweatball at work. And he's giving the Rangers a heart attack.

HoraceClarke66 said...

9 outs to go to a Series title, a 1-0 lead...and he puts in Torrents!

Is Bochy MAD??? If he pulls this one out, the juju gods are just fucking with us.

HoraceClarke66 said...

Yeah, walked the first batter on 4 pitches. Now 5 balls to start the inning...

JM said...

But he gets the second out. Guys are 0-70 when he gets two strikes on them. Jesus.

Of course, he doesn't always get to that point...

HoraceClarke66 said...

Yes, the ARE just fucking with us. Well, good to know.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Is there a game on tonight?

JM said...

In Arizona, no less.

DickAllen said...

I don’t care who’s playing, I’ve been watching every inning

Tonight might be the last bit of baseball I get to see for five months - maybe even longer.

One thing I won’t miss are these announcers. It’s like listening to paint dry even though they never stop talking.

JM said...

Holy fuck. An inside the park error.

JM said...

Wouldn't want to be Sewald tonight.

HoraceClarke66 said...

5-0. "Start spreading the word..."

HoraceClarke66 said...

DickAllen, Smoltz is lost because he doesn't have the Yankees to abuse. And hey, another hit by Seagar!

HoraceClarke66 said...

"I'm leavin' today..."

JM said...

I want to be a part of it...

HoraceClarke66 said...

So Senators II finally won. Congrats.

The 4th best team in the AL just beat the 6th best team in the NL. Hallelujah. This is a World Series that will in the annals of the sport for...minutes.