The bat doesn't look different, though it's big enough to tweak a gonad.
The mystery of Jasrado Hermis Arrington Chisholm Jr. is nearing its conclusion. All the suspects have gathered in the parlor, and soon, one will be accused of making - or murdering - his career. At age 28, "Jazz" has four months to reclaim his former slot as one of MLB's rising stars. How he performs on the Great Gotham Stage will determine not only his place in Yankee history, but his financial well-being.
Whenever Jazz homers or has a big game - like yesterday - the YES team goes full Shane Spencer, spinning the bonkers fantasy that Chisholm has suddenly turned "The Corner" and is ready to fulfill the hype that came with the tabloid-level infatuation with his name. There was never another Yankee named Jasrardo. There was never one named Jazz. And there have been few with such high expectations.
Maybe it's the position. In this millennium, the Yankees have basically put all their chips on three second-basemen:
Robbie Cano
DJ. LeMahieu
Gleyber Torres.
(In a distant alt-planet, Rob "Brigadoon" Refsnyder is the 4th, but in the era of "Shmigadoon," why go there?) That leaves Jazz as the current keeper of the keystone - following DJ and the Gleyb.
This was gonna be his year.
Last winter, Jazz famously suggested that he could be a "50-50" hitter - that is, 50 HRs and 50 SBs. (Last season, he was 31-31.) In simple terms, he was predicting an MVP season, above Judge and Ohtani, and one of the greatest years of all time. This was - well - fucking insane. The Gammonites - courtier descendants of Dick Young and Ring Lardner - ran with it like drunken Leprechauns. Ever since, Jazz has been a disappointment, figuratively and literally.
Thus far, on the season, he is hitting .234 - the lowest batting average in his MLB career, aside from a meager cup of coffee in 2020, over 56 at bats, with the Marlins. Thus far, counting yesterday's blast, Jazz has 8 HRs and 16 stolen bases. Statistically, he's on a course to be a 20-40. Not awful, maybe. Definitely, not 50-50.
It's been a tough year. In April, he hit .202. In May, .281. Thus far, in June, .176. But let's face it: We can make numbers jump through hoops. For Jazz, the next four months - through September - will either lead him to a $200 million payday - it's his contract year - or vault him into the cosmic void of selling himself after the worst season of his life. And the next two months - without Aaron Judge - will make the difference.
So, here we go. Tonight, with the Knicks game everywhere, with Trump coming, with the streets wild and the whole world watching, the Yankees can see how NYC might react to a world championship. They'll be in Cleveland, home to the A Christmas Story house. Presumably Jazz will be wearing his "Big Boy" pants. It's time to start something.
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With Judge out, it falls to Bellinger, Rice, Chisolm…Stanton? Remains to be seen. If either Jones or Dominguez can become a contributor it would make a hell of a difference.
Jazz sometimes swings like he’s distracted listening to episodes of Tele Tubbies through his earbuds
Jizz Chasm swings too hard, trying to do too much. Setting a goal for yourself to hit 50 homers in a season is ridiculous. Even Judge doesn't set a goal for himself to hit x number of homers in a season. (I hope not, anyway.) If you look at Chisholm's body type, that's not a "home run hitter" body type. He has some power, sure. But the crazy home run chase with the torpedo bat, the ludicrous at-bats, it's got to stop. All of the age old maxims apply: stay within yourself; relax, let "it" happen; don't force it; be yourself.
They say Oswaldo Cabrera gave Spencer Jones some great advice before Jones' latest call up: "just be yourself, don't try to be the hero". Cabrera should give Chisholm a call.
Or you should, HoG.
Jazz swings like he's reenacting a Teletubbies episode.
Me, I love the big pants. Reminds me of old time baseball uniforms. I've always had a soft spot for the clothes of the 30s and 40s and 50s. Worn plenty of them, too, when they were still available in vintage shops and estate sales.
Jazz's pants go with the heavy bat, too. So there is that.
In today's baseball with the triple digit heat, the nasty off speed, disappearing changeups, splitters, sliders that end up in the opposite batter's box, it's even more important than ever to get back to the fundamentals. Look for a pitch you can hit; don't try to kill it; just put the barrel on it and hit a liner somewhere. Looking to go the other way and just barreling up the ball is more important than ever. Chisholm is way too pull conscious. Take what the pitcher gives you. Stop trying to launch everything out. This is not home run derby.
Alas, ain't got his number.
On the radio broadcast, they said Jizm borrowed Judge's bat last year, and promptly pulled a muscle trying to swing it too hard, too fast. Good Lord, this is a Little Leaguer trapped in an adult body.
They must've got the story from Jizz himself. Jizz even sounds like he's proud of it. If I did something that crazy, you know, I would take that with me to my final grave.
The guy who could really help the Yankees is Jasson Dominguez. If he keeps hitting from the right side. If he hits from the left side like he had in the past. If he's all the way back from the injury. If Yankee management lets him play. I'm not confident about the last two ifs.
HOG....Whatever advice, "Mr. Car Shield", or anyone else might give Jizz, that will go unheeded. He is both a stubborn and stupid hitter. Sure, he will occasionally hit a home run, but how many times has he not gotten a single, hit an SF, or moved the runner over to third because he doesn't make bat contact? Too numerous to list. That's why Ben Rice, despite having a good year at the plate in '25, has improved upon that. He has a good idea of the situation, what he needs to do, and how the pitcher will approach his at-bat. Jizz is both clueless and unconcerned. He's completely apathetic to team needs. Just swing for the fences anytime and every time because that's how the big contracts are gotten. Instead of emulating a smart hitter like Paul Goldschmidt, Jizz will forever take the same selfish and brainless approach at the plate. And don't get me started on his fielding!
From the inimitable Keefe “ The Yankees are the only team in the majors with fewer than eight wins against winning teams.” ☠️
BTR...That might partly be a function of scheduling. It seems the Yankees have not played many games against winning teams so far. Plus, some of the over .500 teams now were under that level when the Yanks played them. In fact, looking back at their schedule, you can see that it is true. Notable exceptions being the Brewers (they were swept), Tampa, and Cleveland.
Right on, Carl Weitz. And his fielding is also indicative of his generally senseless approach to the game. If it's true that Judge hurt himself diving to avoid Jazz—on a Texas Leaguer, late in a game the Yanks were losing, 7-0—then that's yet another indication of his imbecilic style of play...
It’s not what you want in the last year of a contract…
What we're seeing right now, though, is the reason this team can never get over the top.
Jazz will be a free agent at the end of this season.
He can then walk off the team and sign with whomever he wants.
The Yankees will not get anything in return.
It should be quite obvious by now that Jazz will never be a great or even very good player.
Therefore, the Yankees should trade him for whatever they can get, even if it's so many magic beans.
But as long as the Yanks are in contention for a wild-card slot (that is, being part of the top 40 percent of the American League) that won't happen.
Therefore, the Yankees will or will not get a wild-card spot.
They will go home.
Or they will play badly in their brief, postseason stay.
Jazz will play especially badly, because he always does play especially badly in the postseason.
Jazz will walk off the team after this season, and sign with someone else.
The Yankees will get nothing for him.
Repeat—over and over again, for infinity.
Carl, fair point but we’ll keep an eye on this stat starting tonight in Cleveland
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