Everyone knew Boone was a mistake. That was the easy part, our baseline disappointment. The real problem wasn't Boone, but who wasn't there.
Donnie Baseball, of course.
He was supposed to manage the Yankees. You knew it. I knew it. The universe knew it. The juju gods certainly took notice. If you could travel back to 1995, when Mattingly was finishing his playing career, you wouldn't find a living soul who didn't believe he'd someday run the Yankees. Here was a truly great player and human being, an icon of Yankee pride. Of course, he would manage the Yankees. Why even ask? Are you daft?
Of course, it never happened.
Yesterday, the Yankees won and lost against Pittsburgh. (Instead of a Ryan McBroom, we got a Paul Splittorf.) Catching for the Pirates was 25-year-old Rafael Flores Jr., hitting .287, who would be the answer to our prayers, had we not traded him. Elsewhere, the Redsocks finally lost, ending a 15-game winning streak, which prompted their manager to call a team meeting. But when he got there, one was already happening, being led by Sonny Gray, who the Yankees cast out, after deciding he couldn't handle the pressure of NYC.
Everywhere, ex-Yanks are saving a special dollop of bile for their former team.
This weekend, it will be a sock to the kisser.
Donnie Baseball manages the Phillies. I wonder if they'll play hard? Ya think so? I wonder how Mattingly would deal with Jose Caballero, whose antics at the plate seem to pointlessly piss off not only our opponents but the umps? I wonder what he'd say about all the strikeouts, all the failed bunts, all the blown opportunities? Instead, we get Boone, assuring us that all is fine.
The Phillies have no ex-Yanks in their lineup. You might think we're home free this weekend. Dunno about that. Bryce Harper grew up wanting to play CF in the Bronx. As a free agent back in the winter of 2019, he went to New York in search of a contract. The Yankees hid under their beds.
Everywhere, somebody's got a gripe with us. Gonna be a tough weekend.
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21 comments:
I fear for our sanity.
I fear for our future.
I fear for our favorite pastime.
Our favorite team.
Our favorite pairs of compression socks.
I fear.
"it will be a sock to the kisser"
Make that a sock with two rolls of quarters to the kisser. Check that, make it four rolls of quarters.
For some reason, Yankee ownership/management has become gun-shy about hiring its own ex-players as potential managers. Before and after Girardi, they had chances to hire many retired Yankees: Randolph, Mattingly, even Cone, O'Neill, A-Rod, Posada, Sojo. Can you imagine Paul O'Neill after someone strikes out terribly in a big spot? Probably throw the guy's bat to the outfield wall. They'd rather bring in somebody from another organization. I don't really count Boone because he was a Yankee player for only a relatively short time and was never a championship icon.
It's an interesting story line, why all those former Yankee players never get a chance to manage here. I don't think any of those guys would put up with lineups being emailed to them, pitching decisions being made for them. Maybe they all decided that a glorified baby-sitter role just ain't for them. Life is too short for Cashman's bull shit.
In Judge news, yardbarker reports that he "is at least a month away from coming off the injured list". Will require a minor miracle to get him back with two weeks left in the season, methinks.
JD finally got a big hit, and it was right-handed. No surprise there. This year, he has been hitting much better from the right side. Now, they have to figure out why he is struggling from the left side.
The much maligned Volpe contributed with an in-surance run. Much as we might've thought it'd be Volpe with the flub in the 9th, it was Chisholm who nearly undid all the good work of JD and Volpe.
Can you imagine the World Series ending on a play like that? It'd be so ... anti-climactic. Something like the end of the championship game in the Paul Newman movie "Slap Shot". I'm tellin' ya folks, it's gonna happen, maybe this year. But you don't have to worry, the Yankees will not be involved. They won't make to the World Series this year, barring divine intervention.
Yep. Hate the replay stuff—and hey, last year's almost DID end on a play like that, Hammer! And again: WTF is the matter with Jazz? Just amazing.
Jazz? Remember him eating a lollipop on the field? Well, things have escalated:
https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=1582979396517841&set=a.275200907295703&__cft__[0]=AZa-q9HENfLmTM0S3f9lb6svut3zodos9ix_AzrOwiQR8YbAMiHur_7wxvYL8PpBxEoZeAwHsUnYeQJ2dvDQh_dvHOsMLpQLDUppD-IdZPMUQvWMdy0Kc3AdrdvexoFwsJbpToBTv0O_gGtCOEriSVg8WsB_dxfusKDZaqTdDmds05PhTCOz0h9rNnN4NezA0toNA3XwL0KBXe_uv5PAKzPj&__tn__=EH-R
Carl, I live sans Facebook and can't see that. But thanks, anyway.
Jazz is an idiot. Hey, just like Boone! They must get along great.
Nine years of incompetence is an excellent way to put it. Boone does get outmanaged in the post season. Boone was hired to give us the coferences where he states that everything is fine. He changes the analytics lineup everyday. There lies the problem. The GM and his analytics geek, Mike Fishman.
Grabbed this from X:
The Yankees showed you how they feel about Camilo Doval today.
In their second doubleheader of the week, they would rather go to Will Warren for .2 IP than let Doval throw a single pitch in 19 innings.
Look, the offense stinks, but ignoring Doval entirely and forcing themselves to get creative, while also pitching Gerrit Cole and Max Fried today, was pretty gutsy. They could have played it safe and gone to Elmer, or done what they normally have done in the past: pretend the terrible player is doing just fine.
They should just divest themselves of Duval at the deadline, or simply DFA and eat the salary.
Hey Steinly! If you don’t like the food fire the chef.
@ Hoss, Right, fucking IKF!
Boone: Hey Jazz, I'll take care of the bubble gum box. You get the lollipop box.
I don't know what their love affair with Doval is about. These guys are a dime a dozen now. These days, everyone and his sister throws high 90's, 100+. What the hell is the big deal? Just dump him. He's had his chances. There's plenty more where that came from.
@BTR, But HAL likes the food....
@JM, It's a pic of Jazz sitting in the infield, with a fork in a huge plate of pasta, in his other hand holding a glass of wine, with another bottle on the ground and a Kraft parmesan shaker. Must be a photo shopped pic, but I wouldn't put it past him....
Hammer, re Doval it’s likely his 6.1M contract.
I guess Hal must like the food, He keeps ordering seconds, and thirds, and - well, you get the idea.
Oh yes, that's right. If you're making any kind of salary on this club, you're playing. It's hilarious. If he was still alive and getting paid Yankee money, Rodney Dangerfield would be the closer.
At least it wasn't lancers rose.
FUCKING HORRIBLE LANCERS DIPSHIT AUTOCORRECT AFTER I HIT PUBLISH
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