Across this infinite and eternal universe - an endless expanse of time and space -surely there exists a carbon copy of our world, but for one micro-tweak:
In this alt-Earth, the Yankees didn't trade away a generation of young catchers so they could hitch their future to Austin Wells.
In this crazy world - a reality that strains our imagination - the Yankees actually get production from their 9-hole catcher.
What a concept? Quality at-bats! Late-inning homers! RBIs! From the bottom of the order? Pinch me!
Last night, we visited this enchanted world. It evoked memories of Yogi, Ellie, Thurman, Jorge - even Gary Sanchez, the former future hall-of-famer. For one pristine night in this looming mildew of a season, one fated to end in early October... for one night, our catcher delivered, as they say at the CDC, "explosively."
Strange, isn't it, how the August trade deadline always seems to rouse a burst of hope from those we expect to bid adieu?
Last night, Ali Sanchez - a 29-year-old former Redsock, Marlin, Met, Cardinal and Blue Jay - crushed his first MLB home run, a three-run shot that basically won the game. By this time next week, Sanchez will probably be back in Scranton, replaced by a RH-hitting catcher in some trade that requires us to vastly overpay with young prospects.
(Also, Anthony Volpe - another endangered Yankee species - continued his unlikely hitting spree. He's at .308 over last seven days, raising his season's average to a serviceable .250. He's out the door, right? George Lombard Jr. is coming, right? Besides, Volpe's botched pop fly in the 9th reminds us of his downsides, right?)
One thing about the '26 Yankees, mired on this rather hopeless planet:
They play just well enough to win, and just bad enough to lose.
Boston recently won 15 in a row. These Yankees won't do that. If they win seven in a row, they'll lose the next seven. They hold second place in the AL East like a fat person on a bus. They're hard to get around. But once they fall into a seat, there's no getting up.
Ahh, a hitting catcher... what a concept. For one night, we got to see it...
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"They hold second place like a fat person on a bus." Loooove it, Duque!
Even worse, Cashman practically gave away a bunch of those catchers. Never thought I'd be longing for Luis Torrens but here we are—and what did we get for him?
Cashie's inability to evaluate talent behind the plate easily outstrips his amazing inability to evaluate talent...at every other position on the field. Ever since he chased Jorge Posada out of New York—too friendly with Jeter?—The Brain has double down on an incredible succession of noodniks: Montero, McCann, Sanchez, etc....
Yet even if Austin Wells had indeed proved to be a combination of Yogi Berra and Johnny Bench, you would still want a ready, capable back-up. Catcher is a draining position, where guys get hurt just in the routine course of play—though who doesn't these days; looking at you, Bellinger—so you have to be ready...
"Being ready," "anticipation," "built-in-redundancy"...such words are all anathema to our darling Brian. Apart from his general failure to be able to tell a ballplayer from a kielbasa, Brian Cashman's greatest fault is his insistence on failing to prepare for the worst...
One would think that it would be the opposite: that seeing how unable he is to distinguish real talent from a mirage—or to keep his coaching/training staffs from TURNING real talent into a mirage—that Brian Cashman would be all he more prone to keeping capable subs close at hand.
This is how competent adults navigate the world. You assess your faults, and if you can't correct them, find ways to minimize or work around them...
But then, Brian Cashman, even at 59, is not really an adult. He is a superannuated child, who has been coddled, protected, promoted by different father figures: his actual daddy, Gene Michael, Hal, etc.
Or as the Bible puts it, he still thinks as a child, he understands as a child, he speaks as a child. He sees no reason to ever put aside childish things. Or bad ballplayers.
On behalf of Polish Americans everywhere, I object to "his general failure to be able to tell a ballplayer from a kielbasa." Kielbasas are easy to recognize, even for Cashman.
However, I doubt he could tell a ballplayer from a perog (the singular of perogi), a golumbek, kieshka, or a bowl of czarnina, even if you throw some kluski into it.
Otherwise, you're spot on, Hoss.
Perhaps you meant fresh kielbasa as opposed to the far more common smoked version. In which case, I rescind my objection.
That game last night came pretty close to matching the ridiculous affair in Baltimore when Volpe erred in the 9th and then the other V - I can't remember the guy's name, must be getting Alzheimer's - couldn't catch a liner to left field and actually fell on his face and the Yankees pissed away a win. Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. This year, we're seeing these guys trying their level best to duplicate that ignominious feat. We've seen Jazz Chisholm unable to get a grip on the ball and throwing late to 1st base on a routine grounder, for instance. Straight out of the Bad News Bears.
Something about getting the last out of the game terrifies these guys. I think they need to hire a professional shrink. Are they afraid of success, in their innermost hearts? Do they feel the urge to destroy what they've worked toward? Or does the simple fact that they're only one out from winning a game give them the jitters? The treatment will depend on why they're doing this.
Or, if you go by the KISS method (Keep It Simple Stupid), these guys just suck.
Once in a lieftime. The exception, rather than the rule.
Very, very well stated, Mr Hoss.
And for those reasons (as well as others) one cannot even call the GM toddler a Man-Child.
Anthony Volpe - what more can we say? This guy's got to go. Holy crap!
Ali Sanchez had a good game in Philly as well. At least he puts up competitive at-bats. Austin Wells has turned into a left handed version of Gary Sanchez - but with almost zero power. Wells strikes out like there's no tomorrow. His approach is terrible, just like when Gary was here. The situation doesn't seem to matter. Wells just takes humongous swings and doesn't come close to touching the ball. If we get another catcher, Wells has to go, not Ali.
Do we really need to bring in another catcher from somewhere? The solution could be right here. Just put Ben Rice behind the plate. He's a catcher.
Getting a new catcher during the baseball season is tough. He has to learn a whole new pitching staff. You usually don't see a starting catcher getting traded during the regular season. It's supposed to be done over the winter.
Cashman never does anything until the ceiling is about to collapse.
Correction: Cashman never does anything until the fucking ceiling HAS COLLAPSED. (AND EVERYBODY IS DEAD.)
Send Austin Wells back down to AAA. Send Volpe back to AAA. Bring back Oswaldo Cabrera to be the utility infielder/bench player. And for heaven's sake, bring up an outfielder to play LF.
Multiple sources say a trade for Luis Arráez is brewing…
Question: where would we play him? He’s a second baseman by trade, but has experience at 1b. Would it mean moving Rice back to C as Hammer suggested? Or Chisolm to the OF? Personally, I don’t like players being moved to other positions.
Ali Sanchez career HR total when he retires: 1. Probably me being uncharitable, but I remember taking Austin Romine for granted as a backup catcher. Happier, if not exactly happy, times.
I see Volpe as a canary in the coal mine inside Brian Cashman's head.
You and I watch Volpe and think, he's not an everyday MLB shortstop. Maybe a part time player, utility guy with no utility, Swiss army knife with one blade, but not a full time major league shortstop. But we don't count.
If we get to August 5th and Volpe's still here, and George Lombard's been called up and he's playing third, if those two things happen we'll know our kieshka's been solen and Volpe's here now and at the hour of our death, amen.
At least he's funny though. Fell down like a little rolly polly fat kid, looking for the ball like Ralphie feeling around in the snow for his glasses. That and the ground ball relay "throw" - that's entertaining stuff right there.
If they get Luis Arraez now, then Cashman should be excoriated, flagellated, excommunicated. Because they could've had this guy for cheap over the winter. He signed a one yr deal with the San Fran Giants for only 12 mil.
And where would he play? Well, (scratchin' my head), I guess we'd have to move Chisholm to CF. I hate all this musical position playing too, but we'd have no choice. Then Spencer Jones can play LF. I don't want to move Chisholm to LF, if he doesn't have any experience playing there. LF can be tough, as we saw with JD.
Yeah, Volpe puttin' on a one man comedy show! He should retire from baseball and do nightly shows in Las Vegas. Viva Las Vegas!
The show could be called "The Errors of Volpe"!
And we'll know who stole the kieshka, Mildred.
Yardbarker has a deal for us: Get Francisco Lindor.
It certainly would help right now. Lindor plays SS. George Lombard Jr. plays 3B. Ben Rice behind the plate. Would solve a lot of problems.
What would it cost? Would depend on how much money the Mutts decide to eat from Lindor's mega-contract. But I'd think, at a minimum, it would still cost at least three good prospects. Lombard would be off the board, though, because we need him to play 3B.
How about Volpe + a pitching prospect for Luis Arraez?
And then three prospects + Cabellero for Francisco Lindor?
How about Jazz Chisholm + Caballero + 2 pitching prospects for Lindor, with the Mets eating 30% of Lindor's remaining contract?
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