Monday, July 6, 2026

So here we go. Early July, a season on the brink, and an end in sight to the era of Aaron Boone.

My god, they're like a talk show panel, spitting applause lines to a studio audience.

"We're not good right now," says Gerrit Cole/Joy Behar. 

"We've got to remember who we are," says Jazz Chisholm/Whoopie Goldberg.

Applause. Well, who the Yankees are should be easy to remember. They are a 13-year cicada manifestation, rebirthed from 2013, the year of Lyle Overbay and Melky Mesa, when they finished 3rd in the AL East.  

The Yanks have now botched nine of 10, tumbling like socks in a drier, after yesterday's phoned-in fiasco with Minesota. Everybody's got an excuse. Everybody's got a tag line. And everybody agrees on the problem: Affordability Focus.

"Losing sucks," says Aaron Boone/Elizabeth Hasselbeck.

Applause. Like last year, eh? In fact, this is last year's team, kept intact through Brian Cashman's experiments in cryonics. Right now, this team will be remembered for Jake Bird and Max Schuemann, and for its ridiculous collapse after Aaron Judge cracked a rib.  

Listen: If we live long enough, we will laugh at the memory of 2026: 

The last season of Aaron Boone. 

Applause. Yes, this is it. This is the team that ends Boone's reign. (Note: It won't take out Cashman. Whatever he has on Hal Steinbrenner, it must be Epstein Island-level shit.) But this can take out a Yankee manager.

Tonight, in Tampa, the trap door opens, and we see what lies below. 

Losing four in Tampa - easy to imagine, considering our recent play - would put the Yankees nine games behind the Rays in the loss column. From now on, they'd be chasing a wild card. 

Losing four could leave the Yankees tied with Cleveland in that wild card scrum, one game ahead of Texas, currently a .500 team.

Losing four could leave them a mere four ahead of Boston, with nearly a half-season left. 

Losing four would leave them five games above .500. 

People, we are standing on the precipice, looking out over a deathly hellscape, and preparing to leap. It's cold down there. Pronk, Lyle, Melky and the gang are waiting to catch us. So are the ghosts of Stump Merrill and Dallas Green. This could be the last Great Yankee meltdown in our lives. 

I know it hurts. I know it's scary. But don't be afraid. Breathe in the impending gloom and step forward. Soon, Boonie will be gone. This is the year it happens. And maybe, just maybe, this is the week. 

Applause.

21 comments:

Mildred Lopez said...

Aaron Boone on Camilo Doval:

"I know nobody likes hearing it, but he's been throwing the ball really well"

BTR999 said...

The media assemblage should’ve pushed back hard after that nonsense. They must be as fed up as we are.

Publius said...

Spencer Jones, who still strikes out a little too much but has an idea at the plate, drives the ball with authority and fields his position well, is in Scranton. Anthony Volpe, brand representative of the Charles Thyrwitt clothing company, stands between second and third base everyday for the New York Yankees.

It's not a serious organization.

BTR999 said...

It would be for the best if the team fired boone, so it’s in the team’s best interests long term to get swept by TB. But no, they’ll probably split leaving just enough rope for boone to cling to.

Even if they did fire boone, who would they replace him with? Bras Ausmus, a docile boone clone? Shelley Duncan, the grinning homunculus Scranton manager? They need a more fiery presence. Truth is they should’ve made the change over the winter, and hired Don Mattingly..Right now who’s out there ?

Here’s a name of a proven the will cause a nuclear meltdown among the fanbase: Alex Cora.

Carl J. Weitz said...

He sure has.....right over the heart of the plate. Well, that's when he's not losing the strike zone completely.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Ausmus as interim. Mattingly in off-season.

Carl J. Weitz said...

I was a big fan of Jones. But he struck out 50% of the time in the Bigs. That can't happen. I he doesn't soon come up with a better stance and hitting philosophy, I don't think he will ever be enough to sustain a major league career. If we had a shrewder GM, I'd advocate they trade him. But we don't.

Carl J. Weitz said...

Is Mattingly signed for just this year? If losing this year means the end of BaBoone, I'm in. I wouldn't hold my breath though. I'd prefer that they can Cashman because the new GM would likely get rid of him. What's the chance of Hal getting rid of both after a collapse? 5% at best.....not likely. But we can always hope to pick up that 7-10 pin split.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

They would need permission to talk to him during the season, which I'd doubt they get.
I believe most if not all nonmanagers have contract clause that they can leave for a promotion.

Even with all that, would Mattingly even want to work for the intern?
Magic 8 ball says no.

So HAL would need to grow a pair and fire Ca$hole first.

A girl can dream, can't she?

Publius said...

He's not a "finished product" as Cash likes to say. That's true. Volpe is though, and that finished product is simply not a starting shortstop on a major league contender. Because of the K's, I wasn't sure Jones had a big league future. After this sample I think he does and in the context of this team, at this time, he should certainly be playing with the big club. So many guys on this team K all the time. But unlike Jones they no threat when they do manage to put the bat on the ball. Jones hits it hard, will punish a mistake, and he's a solid defender. Volpe does none of that. He is a failed experiment. The Yankees mis-evaluated him. It's over. Acknowldge it, let a competent journeyman like Schueman or Caballero play short for a while, shore up your OF D with Jones, and get a big stick in the lineup. They won't do it, for reasons obviously unrelated to on-field play. It's despicable.

Publius said...

I dream of Hal's statement: "I'd like to thank Brian Cashman and Aaron Boone for their stewardship of this great organization. Aaron guided this team to a pennant, and of course is responsible for one of the most iconic moments in Yankees' history. He's a great baseball man, is widely admired by players, teammates and competitors alike, and is a true Yankee. I, and the whole organization, have benefited so much from working with him these several years. We'll miss him, and wish him and his wonderful family much success in the future.

And Brian Cashman, well, Brian is family. In the long and glorious history of the New York Yankees, no one has been more dedicated to the success of the Yankees, to the idea of what the New York Yankees are and should be, than Brian Cashman. I don't say that lightly. In so many essential ways most people don't, for understandable reasons, appreciate, Brian is the embodiment of this organization.

We of course have had wonderful, legendary players wear our uniform, from Ruth and Dimaggio, through Dimaggio. Mantle, Munson, Jackson, Jeter, Rivera and now the i comparable Aaron Judge. Brian Cashman stands shoulder to shoulder with these men in his dedication to the New York Yankees and us no less responsible for the team's brilliant success. In truth, I'd rank him only behind my father in that regard, and not by much.

Brian Cashman, in ways large and small, has for three decades been indispensable to the New York Yankees. I'm truly pleased that at last Brian will get the opportunity to relax just a little bit and enjoy time with his loved ones, and the great life he's built.

He is a remarkable man, and to say that he'll be missed is understating his accomplishments, and what he has meant to the New York Yankees. On behalf of this great team, and all of its fans, thank you Brian.

(Hal wipes away a tear)

And to all those fans, let me say that although a great era of Yankees baseball is coming to a close, we remain dedicated to bringing worlds championships to this city, to this ballpark, and to you the greatest fans in the world.

As we go forward into the Yankees next chapter, our sole focus will be on that goal, and we will never rest in achieving it. As is inevitable in transitions like this, there may be some period of adjustment as we take the best of what Brian has established here and bring it together with the energy and enthusiasm of a new generation. I know you will all be with us through this, and I know we will make you proud as ever to be fans of the New York Yankees. Thank you."

ranger_lp said...

Volpe is "finished" in another way...

ranger_lp said...

I'd email that to him...perfect...

edb said...

Never, Boone is Cashman's boy. If he does go, another Yes man will be brought in.

Carl J. Weitz said...

Here's a piece of trivia:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DadMg-4kZmv/?l=1

The Hammer of God said...

I would love to get Alex Cora. He can do some cheatin' for us, for a change. Would be an incredibly enormous improvement over Boone.

The Hammer of God said...

We're not getting Mattingly now, ever. He's in an incredible dream situation in Philly. His own son Preston Mattingly is the Philly GM. He will never get fired. Why would Mattingly ever leave that for this shitshow?

The Hammer of God said...

Duque, I was thinking the same thing, that gettin' swept in Tampa might spell the end of the Boone era.

The Hammer of God said...

You know those Tampons are gettin' their humidifers ready, testing the AC blowers, the suction vents. They'll see to it that the humidified baseballs only get used for when the Yankees hit (humidified baseballs fly less). When the Tampons hit, they'll turn up the AC blowers and suckers full blast, or whatever configuration helps them. Yes, folks, when the Yankees hit, all of their best struck fly balls will die on the warning track. When the Tampons hit, all of their shots will fly out "bang, zoom".

Stupid Tampons, don't they realize they don't even need to do that this series? Yankees can't even hit the ball out of the infield, let alone drive long fly balls.

Yankee pitchers can't get anybody out these days. It's just like I've said. When the players start to struggle, the coaching & managing on this team just cannot stop the death spiral. It's because the coaching here is based too much on a stat-driven approach, computer algorithms, and not enough fundamentals that stress making the right adjustments. They don't teach how to make those adjustments.

The Hammer of God said...

You'll see the other teams in the league get better and better as the season goes along. Maybe the Yankees will finally make some adjustments later in the season, but it'll be far too late. I don't think they'll make the wild card this year. Just as well. Who wants to see the Battlin' Bronx Bastards get their butts handed to them in the first round of the playoffs? Not me.

The Hammer of God said...

I'm with Publius here. Give Spencer Jones a real chance. What the hell do they have to lose? I would just play him continually for two years. Whether he strikes out 50% of the time or even worse. I want to see what he's got. There's definitely some favorite playing here. Why does Volpe get the position handed to him for more than two years, but Jones can't even get one week? I would just play both Dominguez & Jones continuously. This is what it takes to develop players. You have to pay the price, sometimes for 3-4 years. After a year or two, you make the judgment call, but there's got to be enough of a sample size to assess their development, or lack thereof. What they're doing with Jones is bull shit.