Brennan Boesch, rib cage
Hal Steinbrenner, gout
Randy Levine, butt-rot
Lou Piniella, trench mouth
Eduardo Nunez, spasticity
Joba Chamberlain, self-harm
Rudy Giuliani, swine flu
Andy Pettitte, leprosy, sin
Kevin Youkilis, hurt feelings
Ari Fleischer, Tourette Syndrome
Derek Jeter, senescence
Billy Crystal, loss of appetite, diarrhea, hematuria (blood in urine), watery stool, whitish mucus in the stool, severe rectal bleeding, stomach cramps, projectile vomiting, bloating, excessive gas, burping (sulfurous), disorientation.
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