Showing posts with label Sponsored by Mylanta®. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sponsored by Mylanta®. Show all posts

Friday, March 22, 2013

The Yankees Injury Report For Friday, March 22


Brennan Boesch, rib cage

Hal Steinbrenner, gout

Randy Levine, butt-rot

Lou Piniella, trench mouth

Eduardo Nunez, spasticity

Joba Chamberlain, self-harm

Rudy Giuliani, swine flu

Andy Pettitte, leprosy, sin

Kevin Youkilis, hurt feelings

Ari Fleischer, Tourette Syndrome

Derek Jeter, senescence

Billy Crystal, loss of appetite, diarrhea, hematuria (blood in urine), watery stool, whitish mucus in the stool, severe rectal bleeding, stomach cramps, projectile vomiting, bloating, excessive gas, burping (sulfurous), disorientation.