This prompted Michael Kay to ask Meredith Marakovits if she knew the reason behind the four-finger salute. Sadly, her investigative probes have been rebuffed by Yankee players, who prefer to keep the secret in-house.
Obviously, the salute is offensive. Otherwise, nobody would care. Did somebody have a four-way? Fore-play? Or could the Yankees be throwing in with the violent Turkish dictator? Whatever it is, it's something bad.
To help the team avoid a public backlash from the notorious YES fake news muckrakers, I'm offering several possible lies. The Yankees should simply unify behind one explanation and ride out the storm, no matter how furiously the winds of truth wish to blow.
a) Four is the smallest squared prime number. The salute is a message from the Yankees to children everywhere: Stay in school and learn your math!
b) In Buddhism, there are 4 great elements: Earth, wind, fire and water. Yankee players want us to honor our spiritual and physical surroundings. Recycle, everybody, and let's protect the environment!
c) The Yankees are calling upon the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse to rain hellfire upon all corrupt and bestial sinners and restore the Kingdom of God to righteous humanity. When have you last been to church?
d) A cow's stomach is divided into four digestive compartments: the reticulum, the rumen, the omasum and the abomasum. The Yankees say, AVOID RED MEAT! It's bad for you, and it's costly to our bovine friends.
e) Foreigner's fourth studio album was titled "4." The Yankees want everyone to rock out! They're hot-blooded, check it and see; they got a fever of 103!
Posts
33 comments:
It's e. Has to be. Foreigner is not only the band, it's the origin of a big chunk of the team. Yes, they're foreigners. This was Gio's protest against Trump's immigration policy, a reminder that even in America's Pasttime, immigrants are vital to our success as a team and a country.
It's genius. A veiled yet accessible signal in support of our shared history as a nation of foreigners, where everyone has the chance to earn their way to a fat contract worth more than the GDP of their birth country.
God bless America, Gio. And deliver us from evil (the Red Socks and IL). Amen.
It is his secret signal to Dr. Olu. He is saying that 4 times he asked Dr. Olu for help, and 4 times he has helped him.
Olu say, death by booga booga.
Domingo, work in progress. Lucky if he goes five. He still can't adjust, which is fatal. But hopefully he learns.
That said, he does better with Romine, as they just said. So naturally, Sanchez bus catching. I'd say they need Gary's offense, but with Morales in the lineup, that can't be a consideration. Hat tip to the old man for getting that single, but he couldn't score from second, which could've cost us gaining the lead. DJ bailed him out, thank God. Morales is done and he should be DHing for Baltimore, if playing at all.
Sanchez is catching, and not catching a bus.
Hasta la vista, German. Another less than stellar outing. He's not an ace. I'm not even sure he's a regular starter just yet. Are Monty and Sevvy ever coming back? Anybody? Keuchel?
The home plate ump sucks tonight. Gives some generous strikes, but will call the same pitch later as a ball. The red menace looks like he wants to use the bat on him.
Montgomery is supposed to be back mid-summer.
Severino who knows. They ain't telling us the truth about him.
Morales with another hit. Is it this easy? I just have to trash someone and they turn into Rod Carew? Wish I had known earlier.
Gio! Gio! Gio! Gio! Gio! Gio!
Aaaah, c'mon!
Urshela's first out with the bases loaded this year. Had to happen eventually.
What are chances Frazier ends up on the DL?
Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice!
Which Chapman do we get tonight ...
According to John, it's the one that likes to throw to first.
Oh. Oh. Seems we're getting that one
Okay, that was misleading.
WHOoooOOOOOO HOoooOOOOOO! They take another series!
Does anyone remember that Ryne Sandberg lost some playing time to clinical depression? Sanchez seems very different this year, and not just because he's hitting. Could he have had psychiatric issues last year?
I think the "problem" with Sanchez last year was that he had both an injured shoulder and tweaked gonads. But the Yankees in all their wisdom preferred to hand him out there for us to ridicule. Nice protection, guys!
What can you say? Excellent work, all around. The bullpen now 21-17 under the CollBull W/L calculation after that horrible, 1-9 start.
Thing is, this can't go on. Even with 10 relievers, they will be gassed if they have to go 6-7 innings every night.
Sign Keuchel. Promote Chance. See what we got.
JM, I love that joke.
Can't find any word on the Red Menace. Hope he's okay.
Oh, and the "4" thing?
I was thinking it was a reference to the Fab 4 or The Sign of the Four. You know, Gio's the kind of guy whose literary tastes run from comic books to old Sherlock Holmes stories.
But I think what he was really signaling was the hope that someday a Yankees start could one day go 4 innings again.
THE 4 SIGN IS FROM THE "4 HORSEMEN" FROM THE OLD WRESTLING DAYS.
THE YANKS LOVE TO GIVE THE "TITLE BELT" TO CERTAIN PLAYERS DURING THE SEASON.
I REMEMBER NOT LONG AGO, THEY GAVE THE "BELT" TO LUKE.
I BET THE 4 HORSEMEN ARE URSHELA, MAYBIN, LEMAHIUE, AND FRAZIER. (ALL 4 ON THE COMEBACK TRAIL)....
THAT'S MY THEORY, AND I'M STICKING TO IT.
THERE IS SOMETHING SPECIAL GOING ON THIS SEASON MY FRIENDS.
The good thing is the bullpen pitch count was relatively low for the amount they worked...4 might be the number of games played before another starter goes past 4innings
Or the average of innings pitched by our starters
2 hands, 8 fingers.
It's the quest for 28 guys. That simple.
Actually, thinking about it, it's probably a reference to that great episode of "The Dick Van Dyke" show, where Rob Petrie sees a scary movie in which aliens use the element absorbotron to deprive people of their thumbs.
I know the Yanks are big DVD fans, and connoisseurs of early 1960s TV in general.
I think the 4 meant he hit a slider. Just a wild guess, far less entertaining than others.
Actually, he was flashing the secret sign of the Van Buren Boys - the street gang that celebrated the life of our eighth president Martin Van Buren.
Supposedly, it's either reference to when they had a 'shift' of 4 outfielders for Judge in spring training, or it is a less wholesome sexual reference.
I really want the world to know about this great man who brought back happiness into my life again after my husband left me and the kids 3 years ago for another women online when i contacted Dr Believe he cast a love spell for me within 48 hours my ex husband start calling me and begging for forgiveness for everything that have happened between us. I was so happy to have my family back together with love again here is the email of Dr Believe via believelovespelltemple@gmail.com a man with the great powers you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348156148821
God bless you
I am very grateful for your help in my marriage.
Post a Comment