Saturday, July 4, 2020

Are COVID masks a threat to the Yankee facial hair ban?

What if certain Yankee players, in conjunction with foreign powers, use face masks to hide secret beards, in violation of Hal's ban on hairiness?

Could we end up with a team of hippies?

What's going on under those masks? And why is America being told by our medical overlords that we must wear them everywhere... when we cannot even know for sure if our Yankees are clean-shaven!

Wake up, Yankiverse, or feel the rising stubble that threatens our heritage.


Urban Farmer formerly known as DutchFan said...

This is, in all probability, one of the most significant and breathtaking posts of recent years. And then to think that it actually never even crossed my mind.

Anonymous said...

Would it be a violation to draw a beard or mustache on your mask?

Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside said...

What kind of facial hair can you hide under an ordinary mask? Maybe a small Hitler mustache? Clearly the Yankees facial hair ban was prescient, because facial hair interferes with mark to face seal. To enforce mask bans, I say let out the Sarin and see who has fitted theirs properly. The clean shaven Yankee team will survive and most the Red Sox will be dead.

JM said...

I think you can get away with a soul patch and a pencil moustache. There may be a lot of secret beatniks playing ball this year.

TheWinWarblist said...

Not that secret.

TheWinWarblist said...


Stay safe!! Stay distant!! Wear a mask!! Wash your hands!! FUCK YOU HAL!!!!!!!

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