With due respect to Chuck Palahniuk, the first rule of juju has always been:
DO NOT TALK ABOUT JUJU.
In this case, what I'm about to say could have vast ramifications for the 2022 Yankees. It could bring pain to our heroes - literal, sticks and stones pain. I'm talking sprains, twangs and automobiles... things that go pop in the night... Ellsburys.
Were this a lumber yard, instead of the Death Star, the sign at the gate would say: THIS WORKPLACE HAS NOW GONE 10 DAYS WITHOUT A TIME-STOPPAGE INJURY.
In fact, aside from the catcher we got in the Sam Donaldson trade - Ben BorschBelt, whatever - we have skated lucky. And now, we face the astral limits of all known juju:
WTF am I saying? Well, God help me... but here goes...
Aaron Hicks is hot. There, I did it. I put it into print.
He is 8 for 23, batting .348 - the lone Yankee hitting over .300.
Anyone who follows this blog knows of the dreaded HICKSIAN PARADOX, aka the THIRD AARON CONUNDRUM.
Through scientific measurements and analyses far too complex for you to understand, we at IT IS HIGH have learned to sequence and isolate the Aaron Hicks particle - aka the HICKS BOSON. While humankind cannot predict baseball, Suzyn, we have learned to predict Hicks.
And based upon our exhaustive work, this is what we know:
In his natural state, Hicks always starts cold - then he heats up.
And then... Hicks gets hurt.
He started poorly, looked awful. Now, suddenly, he is hot. Across our IT IS HIGH virtual reality campus, sirens are blaring. We shall soon test the parameters of all known science.
I write this to let the juju gods know that
a) We are onto you
b) We have hacked your codes, and
c) It's time to break the HICKS INJURY CYCLE, once and for all.
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33 comments:
Hicks just pulled a hamstring hiding Easter eggs, he’s expected back in 8-10 weeks
I just tore a index finger tendon typing this text.
DAMN YOU JU JU !!!
Barren Hicks will be under .240 soon. Back Of The Baseball Card!
I, for one, was certainly concerned he would get a piece of hail in the eye last night…
Let’s win this series today!
I hear it was a "bunny-related injury." Prognosis? "One or two days," according to Manager Aaron Boone, who added that it was also possible Hicks would be out for the rest of the season.
I'm with EDB. Hicks will hit no higher the the upper .230's this year when all is said and done. And ever since he had TJ surgery on his throwing arm, he makes Ellsbury's arm seem like a cannon.
Not counting last year when Hicks was hurt again, he has dropped significantly as a defender.
From the Yankees blog " Viewsfrom314.com:
"For whatever it’s worth, it seems that Hicks’s range took a step back this season (2020). Based on catch probability, the center fielder caught 29.6 percent of fly balls with a catch probability between 0 and 90 percent. Last year, he made 46.7 percent of those plays and 39.2 percent of them in ’18."
In short- Again, if the Yankees have no outfielder in their system that can hit/field/throw better than Hicks at this point, they are much worse off than we imagined.
Cashman heard you Carl, Tim Locastro is up and starting today (in LF) JP Sears dent down. Hello, Rizzo sitting
This team is boring. It's a replay of all recent Yankees seasons. Hicks is a ticking time bomb, but that just makes him the most obvious element to explode.
Seven years, wasn't it?
Hicks is toast. The Juju axis has shifted. Until Hal dies or sells the team, we will lose forever. That's just the way it works.
It shifted around 2004...ahem...cough cough...and it may not shift again in our poor mortal lifetimes.
Shall I quote Hobbes? Nah...
Is that Cam Maybin doing color commentary on YES? He's doing pretty well for a newbie announcer.
Whither Beltran?
NESTOR KKKKK
I'ma bout to have a heart attack am I seeing the yankees ATTEMPT small ball...
Nestor is filthy today and this HR or nothin lineup Cashman put together is gonna lose it for him
First + Thid, one out, of course IKF hits into a double play. You’d think we’d get a run in just by dumb luck, but NOOOO…
Thankfully, Cortes is dealing…10k’s through four???
And Zimmerman had been raising batting averages everywhere - except the Yankees are treating this 27yo nobody like the second coming.
Have this bad feeling about losing this game in the ninth because of Rolaids…
Even if the Yankees were somehow able to win todays game, the most meaningful stat from this offensive lineup:
Six runs scored in 25 innings (and counting) against the worst team in the AL.
And Cortes is once again the recipient of this stagnant, all-or-nothing lineup.
Well whoever said it earlier....welcome to our TOG(True-Outcome game)
Fuck Hal and Brian....
And thank you Odor for those two daggers.
Becuase of fucking course some scrub yankee cast-off fuckin gets a clutch hit. Fuck you Ju-Ju gods
The good news is no blown save by the fire hydrant
Its fitting that Nasty Nestor on Easter is saying "I sacrificed for this"
One word: UNACCEPTABLE.
This is not about analytics or true outcomes or batting averages being the only valid baseball statistic: this is about Cashman being STUPID, having no clue about player development, year after year fielding a squad of overpriced, washed-up "names"--slow bats, slow feet, slow gloves, pitches with no bite--tethered to the team from here to eternity.
Face it, this team just isn't very good. If Judge and Stanton aren't blasting them 450 feet, we have very little on offense. Does Hicks scare anyone offensively? Torres? Maybe Donaldson can be as productive as he once was, but we've yet to see that. Gallo lookes washed. This is looking like the year that Cashman and Hal finally won't be able to say, "we're sooo close ... just one more right-handed DH and we're a series contender!" The farm system, thanks to cheapskate Hal, isn't anything special and isn't coming to the rescue. I hope I'm wrong, but this looks like a .500 team at best.
You said it, Bern.
Great meltdown at the last minute today. First of many, I expect.
Bernie, you got it. Genius Cashman, the executive of the century and Cheapskate Hal. Hal's line, we are a Championship Caliber Team. Volpe not hitting at AA.
Pathetic
Please conduct a firesale now.
Put us out of our misery.
Let us root for 25 year olds.
NY Yankees, what is that clinical definition of insanity?
Again and again and expecting different results.
Even if they had a fire sale, does anyone think Cashman would get anyone of value in return? Think about it.
80 wins. The Yanks will be lucky to win 80 games.
77. That was my pick.
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