So... where to start? Frankly, you don't need to hear me whine about Ben Rortvedt - of the bulging biceps and multi-consonants - who missed most of 2022 with a cavalcade of injuries, including knee surgery. We hoped his bad luck was over. Now, we have to wonder.
Some poor guys just lurk in that Twilight Zone dimension, always on the snake-bitten fringe, flittering at the precipice of the 40-man roster, always seeking to return to a place where they have never been. Think of Mike Pence, for example. Or Colter Bean. The Rort might just be one of those players, their begotten souls eternally consigned to walk the Earth in pain and suffering, while we check their weekly stats in Scranton.
This week, Rortvedt's inability to take the field prompted some strange crosscurrents in the Yankiverse:
1. Get this: The Yanks are listed as one of several potential landing strips for Gary Sanchez, the former Kraken, whom we traded last winter for Rortvedt. Frankly, this seems absurd. Is Salvador Dali blogging about the Yankees?
Gary, now 30, hit .205 with 16 HRs last year with Minnesota - enough for the Twins to punt on him. One possible positive: He was charged with only four passed balls in 91 games - (he had 18 in 76 in 2019, when Yank fans began to boo.) Gary last year suffered 27 wild pitches - (his career high was 60, in 2021.) Not bad. Has he finally figured out how to block pitches? Or did he simply have friendly Gammonites in the scorer's booth?
Either way, former Yankee stars always return home someday, but Gary might be too young for his Old Timers Day reunion.
2. Prospect Austin Wells generated ink this week after arriving in camp with bruised ribs, a mystery ailment that makes you wonder: WTF? Was he playing football? Skiing? Breakdancing. I don't recall an explanation for his bruises. It's probably nothing, none of our business. Still, bruised ribs?
Wells was the 28th overall pick in the 2020 draft. He supposedly can hit with power, and he's a lefty bat. All of the above make him an important possibility this year, assuming his ribs can avoid bruises. Snowmobile accident? Bar fight? Roller derby?Bruised ribs?
3. The status quo: Jose Trevino and Kyle Higashioka. Both are popular, in part, because they've never let us down. We simply had no expectations. Nobody figured Trevino to hit his weight and make the all-star squad. He was the feel-good Yankee of the first-half. And despite leading the team in HRs last spring, Higashioka never drew comparisons to Elston Howard (as Sanchez did in his rookie breakout.) Still, it would be nice to have a lefty hitter option at catcher, which is where the Rort supposedly came in.
So, is Rortvedt damned for eternity? Obviously, it's too early to say. And a finger is a finger - not a big toe, as with DJ. I wish Rortburger no harm, but - damn - he needs a solid spring. A bad finger isn't going to cut it.
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27 comments:
Don't think we'll catch a rising star with him.
I think it's time to abort on the Rort experiment
It's time for Rort and Voit to form a wrestling tag team. No more baseball, just well choreographed flying body slams.
And Sanchez? I know mushrooms can help some people, but sportswriters might want to stick to Old Overholt. Fewer hallucinations.
That's nothing to worry about - he's just another one of The Intern's many many many broken spare parts that never quite heal. This is what happens when you shop at Goodwill or Craigslist. You get a bargain, but there's a reason it's available for such a bargain. IT'S SOMEONE ELSE'S GARBAGE!!!
And I see that Booooooone is in mid-season form - I think he must have gone to Florida in December because, according to the Daily Murdoch, he had this to say (and I kid you not):
“I think you’re crazy to think that a bounce-back is not in there offensively,” Aaron Boone said Tuesday after a workout at Steinbrenner Field. “This guy still has bat speed and, again, is super talented. Physically, at this point, [he’s] in a much better place than he was a year ago right now.”
Okay, so I'm crazy. At this point. Right now.
Sorry. I forgot to mention who he was talking about. Can you guess?
On a side note, if anyone has to prep for a colonoscopy and hates the taste of the cleanse drink, let me recommend the article about Hicks by Randy Miller in today's NJ.com.
As you read it make sure to be already seated on the toilet. One dosage will be all you need.
Also, buried within the article, you will more fully understand why so many of us here despise Boonie.
I think after reading this, even Mother Theresa would punch him.
AA...I had no idea Hicks was such a delicate princess until I read the article. I actually had to position myself on my knees in front of the toilet.
DickAllen...Translating from Boonese: there's got to be an even bigger moron than Cashman gonna take this cackling asshole off my hands, right?
Rotvedt is another Genius bad pickup. NoHitgoshioka never lets us down? He cannot hit and does not throw oput runners.
Here's another square checked for your Yankee Spring Training Bingo Card(c)
"Yankees’ Clarke Schmidt strikes out three while working on new cutter."
Dick, that has to be about Hicks. Second choice, Donaldson.
let me recommend the article about Hicks by Randy Miller in today's NJ.com.
That was PAINFUL. From the article:
"It’s hard for Hicks to pick which of those seasons was the worst."
It's hard for all of us, Hicksie.
In truth Rortvedt catches flak due to a funny name, non BB player physique, but most of all because he was a part of another foolish cashman mistake. If he were an anonymous minor league signing, little attention would be paid to him. Nevertheless, he is the only other C on the 40 man, meaning he is the number #3 catcher right now.
Rortvedt went to the staff complaining of pain in a finger on his throwing hand. Boone’s take? “We're checking with a specialist to see if it's not related to the finger." Re: Wells, Boone said he suffered bruised ribs while “warming up”…I don’t know how sportswriter stop themselves from pelting him with rocks and garbage every time the slimy apparatchik opens his pie hole.
It's because the sportswriters are on the dole. The Yankees dole.
BTR999: You have my eternal thanks for your comment. From now forward, the gum-chewing simp shall be known as The Slimy Apparatchik. Perfect. Thank you, again.
JM, he was referring to Donald Duckson, but he could have said the same thing about Hicks.
Actually, that is a terrible thing to say about Donald Duck. As a child, I rather liked that angry fowl.
Two seasons ago, the Yanks wrote off Wells because of his defense and wanted him to try another position. Wells said he wanted to stick it out at catcher and his defense has improved immensely. The Yanks will take a long look at him in ST...he may end up with the team later in the year...
Rort will spend more time in Rotterdam than in Yankee stadium.
According to Bryan Hoch of MLB.com, Benny Biceps had surgery today to repair some kind of aneurysm in his left shoulder. He’s out for at least one month.
That trade is just one of Cashman’s many gifts that keep on giving.
So right now besides Hig + Trev, we have no other C’s with a single second of MLB experience.
Gary's out there.
Duque "Yanks are listed as one of several potential landing strips for Gary Sanchez, the former Kraken"
Don't put it past Cash-hole to do it. He just luuuuuuvvvvvs to bring guys back for second and third helpings. Also look for Dellin Betances and Sonny Gray. And halfway through the season, look for Cash-hole to bring Cowboy Chapman back because we need a closer and "this guy is the best there is [at shooting up garages], a surefire Hall of Famer who can still bring it". Besides, think about what three pitchers you would rather have throwing to Gary Sanchez than Betances, Gray and Chapman? There are also rumors that the Yankees will have Chapman and Sanchez put on top secret defensive plays, such as the one where Chapman once threw a fastball at the backstop and the ball came back to Sanchez so fast that Sanchez caught the ball and threw to third base to nab a would-be base stealer. Cash-hole recently revealed that the play was rehearsed many times and put in motion as a set play to throw out adventurous base runners.
Duque "Austin Wells ... bruised ribs ... mystery ailment"
I'm telling ya, that is Viscount Victoria's handiwork ... er ... legwork. For only $1,500, her Vampire Vixen V-krush leg scissors will make an anaconda's death grip seem like a hug from the Easter Bunny.
Cashman, thy name is "Mush"
I did not think I would ever stop laughing from this thread. I love you all!
999: The Slimy Apparatchik (TSA) it is.
DickAllen: As a child, I too rather liked the aforementioned angry fowl (Simpsons reference in there, I know).
And yes, LBJ, that NJcom piece was amazing, full of lines such as:
"Well into his fourth straight year of underperformance..."
"Hicks was thinking a change of scenery might be in his best interest by Sept. 9."
"The ball was in fair territory!"
"Hicks was still trying to gather himself when suddenly another fly ball was coming his way."
"This is Hicks' recollection of that conversation: Boone was like, 'I'm sorry, I read the situation wrong, I understand what you're going through...blah blah blah.' And here is Boone's response: 'I don't know if I said it like that.'"
"I know what I'm capable of. I'm capable of great things."
Even the comments here about the Hicks article made made nether regions spasm.
But like a moth to the flame, I keep coming back here for more.
As the Midwest Troubadour sang, "It hurts so good."
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