In a key contest yesterday, between Venezuela and Yemen, a Houston Astro was hit in the thumb by a well directed fastball.
It fractured the proximal phalanx and caused a deep contusion on the MCP joint. Surgery will commence once the swelling diminishes.
Personally I recommend a surgeon from one of those drive-up windows in Florida, where you might find a Dr Toothy ( for root canal work ) or a " martini to go." But I digress.
The " victim" ( as they are calling him in Texas), was no other than Jose Altuve. A person of questionable reputation when it comes to baseball ethics.
And while we never wish ill on any human being, I felt it necessary to report the incident.
Have a nice day.
Martini anyone?
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9 comments:
My antipathy towards Altuve is a matter of record.
In sports, there's only one thing worse than a cheater and that's a cheater with talent.
There's only one thing worse than a cheater with talent and that's an un-remorseful cheater with talent who has been caught and makes it out like it is no big deal.
Oh, I think we can make an exception to the "not wishing ill on any human being" in this case.
Maybe Dr. Gu can assist in the operation. I hear he has good hands.
and I suddenly have a soft spot in my heart for a former Redsux pitcher
Alphonso, I meant.
Hopefully it remains painful for the rest of his life, enhancing his ability to predict the weather.
Also, a staph infection would be really sweet. Especially if it transfers to another body part while he's peeing.
Other than that I wish him well. No, I don't. I hope he also gets kidnapped in Venezuela and loses the other thumb from the abductors showing that their ransom demands are real.
That and they cut his balls off and make him eat them.
But I wish him a speedy recovery after that.
Rufus, when did you go soft?
Daniel Bard as the anti-Rick Waits. Interesting universe we got goin' here.
Hoss, I was feeling generous.
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