But I digress.
A couple of signs have popped up of late, and frankly, even the pigeon-entrail assessors I summoned from the Pantheon have been stumped.
Good? Bad? Indifferent, in the meaningless world of foreplay, constant contention without consummation, that HAL Steinbrenner and his family of skinflints have created??? You tell me.
First, of course, the Reggie Bar is back—and New Hyde Park has got it, as Newsday proudly proclaimed.
I was in the stands the day the Reggie Bar was first distributed, free, at the Yanks' home opener in 1978. Like everyone else there, I thrilled as Reggie homered off Wilbur Wood—technically, his fourth homer on four pitches in games that counted, going back to the last game of the 1977 World Series.
It set off a sight such as I have never seen at a ballgame, before or since, a flurry of the square, orange-wrappered bars that poured spontaneously from the stands like a tribute at a bullfight, or some such more ancient, primal spectacle. Even Reggie, the original hambone, was startled and a little unnerved by it.
(Being too far from the field for even my longest toss to make it, I simply ate mine. Not bad! And no, when you unwrapped it, it didn't tell you how good it was.)
The home run proved to be all the Yankees needed, en route to a 4-2 victory. It proved to be the first of Ron Guidry's awesome, 25-win season. It proved to be the first step on the road to the 1978 World Championship, with the manager of the OTHER team on the field that day, Bob Lemon, in the Yankees' dugout at the kill.
Is it a foreshadowing? And how could it be anything BUT a good sign?
Perhaps it doesn't meet Yankee Stadium III's heady nutritional standards. Are there sufficient rat turds in Reggie Bar II? I'm sure HAL's health inspectors will be giving it the once over.
But that's not all!
She's baaaaaack!
Yes, IBS Lady has reappeared!
Mrs. Calabash noticed that the fabulous Ilana Becker, who deserves a lifetime Oscar—or something—for her dazzling role in an IBS drug commercial, popped up in a small role recently on the network show, Ghosts.
Forget I said that. There are no small roles, only small actors. And the latter certainly doesn't apply to our gal. YOU try playing an irritated colon for laughs!
But all Ms. Becker needed was a whig, a hospital sheet she quickly turned into a cape, and AT-TI-TUDE!
But what does this all mean?
A return to those halcyon days when Ilana was first cutting up in doctors' offices, and your New York Yankees were surging up the standings once again?
Or...does her reappearance serve as a metaphor for what will happen, once again, to our team? Waylaid once again by a debilitating intestinal blockage just when things were looking good?
You be the judge. Or Judge will be the judge. But two signs from the juju gods is two signs too many.
SOMETHIN's happening out there!
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9 comments:
"I was in the stands the day the Reggie Bar was first distributed, free, at the Yanks' home opener in 1978."
Me too! You said that you ate yours.
The "eat or throw" decision was one of the toughest I've ever made.
On one hand, there was this free candy bar! Plus, it was a new type of candy bar. One that had never been scarfed at any time in history.
What made it tougher was, I had a tendency to, shall we say, acquire a buzz prior to the first pitch. When Reggie hit the home run I was on the hungry side.
On the other hand, there was this insanely aerodynamic object that begged to be hurled. It practically screamed "Throw me!" "Throw me far!"
Not to mention I was twenty-two years old and still had an arm.
I solved the dilemma by thinking out side the box. I pocketed mine to eat later and offered my throwing services to the people sitting near me.
I got to throw a number of them. I varied my styles but mostly used the rock skimming release aiming up instead of down. That side arm whip. The candy bar would sail like a frisbee for around 75 to 100 feet and then bank and come in for a safe landing.
It was nothing short of awesome. The candy bar was pretty good too.
Somehow I don't think my colon looks that good
Questions:
Who's looking at her colon and why?
How can we get her to go to the game with us?
She does look bat shit crazy enough to fit in with this group. She's an NYU grad so there's a chance she is a Yankee fan.
I had had colon cancer and have seen various pictures of my colon. I never looked that good!
However, I did marry a redhead, so there is something cosmic there.
I also bought and ate Reggie Bars during that magical 1978 season and my doctors told me that they were the source of my cancer.
I have been cancer-free for over a decade, but I won't tempt fate and eat the new Reggie Bar
"I was in the stands the day the Reggie Bar was first distributed, free, at the Yanks' home opener in 1978."
It was a great day. Making his first return to the Stadium since he retired, Maris came out with Mantle to raise the new championship flag or throw out the first pitch or something, and then ... Reggie. A 3-run blast to center on the first pitch he saw in the first inning. One of my favorite moments.
I was in the last row of the upper deck. I did not hesitate to throw my Reggie bar with everybody else. I hope whoever I hit in the back of the head with that thing -- it was a solid chunk of chocolate, nuts and caramel shaped like a doughnut and packaged in a flight-ready square wrapper -- has recovered, and I'm certainly pleased to hear that Archangel has recovered from his encounters with Reggie Bars.
"I was in the last row of the upper deck"
Parson,
I can't tell you how many games I saw where my buddies and I started our Yankee experience by sitting in those seats.
They were perfect for smoking joints because of how hard it would be for an usher or a cop to make it up there. Plus, you could see them coming a mile away and could dispose of the evidence by tossing it out of those the big concrete "windows".
For the record no one ever bothered us.
By the time the National Anthem was over we would select a section and move down. The field would be a much brighter green than it was when we first arrived and it was time to "Play Ball!"
Truly some of the best times of my life, and quite possibly why I became the fan that I am and why I'm able to put up with the current state of the team.
So I guess doing drugs was bad after all.
It was great. And you could buy those seats for $2.50, day of the game, for all but the really big games. Buy a ticket anywhere, then move around behind home plate. High up, but a magnificent view of the field, the Bronx beyond it.
Time of our lives.
Yes, in the '70s, the Stadium was a free-for-all, both good and bad. You'd see drunk guys brawling like lunatics-- definitely not a family-friendly site -- but wild youth like us could roam anywhere we wanted.
By the '80s, the pendulum had swung, and security was tightened. The Rent-A-Cops were actually just more by wild youth who wanted to brawl if you had any sort of complaint about their bully-boy tactics.
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