Two weeks away from Opening Day, the Yankee roster is a jumbled mess

Quickly now, on the '23 Yankees, what positions are - as Brett Cavanaugh would say - settled law?  You know... etched into stone, done deals, no exceptions, no tapbacks. Anybody? Class? Show of hands? You there, with the hair loss...

Of course! Aaron Judge! He plays RF, right? Unless he's in center. But the Yanks won't subject him to such wear and tear, right? Yes? No? Who knows?

And Anthony Rizzo, at 1B. He's a lock, unless his lumbago is barking. For now, he's resting. If this were July...  

And all-star Jose Trevino behind the plate. Unless his wrist is hurting. If so, it's Home Run Higgy and... do we even have a second catcher? 

So, eyeing the lineup... Giancarlo at DH (unless he's in RF), LeMahieu (somewhere), Oswaldo (somewhere else) Gleyber, (unless he's traded) Hicks & Donaldson (unless fans attack the stadium.) Theoretically, Anthony Volpe might crack this Olympian dream team, though it would require deals from a GM with the worst recent trading record since the Indians gave away Manhattan.

After a month of spring training, absolutely nothing is settled. 

And let's brace ourselves for more tweaked gonads between now and April 1. Injuries are the only certainty we know. 

Okay, what about pitching? Certainly, Gerrit Cole starts on opening day. Then comes Nasty Nestor (wait, no; his groin) and Luis Severino (unless his recent outings suggest an issue as yet undisclosed.) 

Yesterday, we added two more question marks. Though it was refreshing to see Clarke Schmidt throw five no-hit innings - he's a lock for 5th starter, even if they don't use one in April - Wandy Peralta and Albert Abreu blew a five-run lead against the Pirates' JV team. After Clay Holmes and Michael King (also returning from an injury), the bullpen is a jump ball, like everything else on the red tide Florida coast. 

At this point, I must confess that part of me likes this. For years now, the Yanks have opened camp with a rigid pecking order in place - the lone competition being for the final bullpen dregs. And what did that get us? The 2009 World Championship! Ever since, the Yankees have taken pride in fielding contenders - a nice word for also-rans. Are your buttons popping from pride?  

Lately, everything swirls around Volpe, who seems to be creating what the late Rep. John Lewis called "good trouble." His emerging presence threatens the serenity of a settled, corpselike lineup. Every Yank fan in captivity is rooting for Volpe, in part because we see the next Jeter - a dangerous set of expectations for a 21-year-old. For Volpe to make the team...

1. He must win SS, hands down. They won't bring him north to sit.

2. Somebody must disappear. Right now, the infield has eight dancers circling six chairs:  Rizzo, Donaldson, IKF, LeMahieu, Peraza, Oswaldo, Volpe, Torres. When the music stops, it's a scrum.

3. Of particular note, they must weigh the potential damage of sending SS Oswald Peraza back to Scranton. The guy has earned his shot. What more can he do in Triple A? The sad saga of the modern Yankees tells of a franchise that eats its young. We must not squander a fine prospect, even if another one came along. Peraza must make this team.  

We have roughly 12 days to settle this.