I dunno anymore. Fuckinay, I just dunno...
Thus far, I've proceeded on the good faith notion that the 2023 Yankees, at full strength, are a wild contender, and that sometime around July, the planets will realign and they'll start rolling.
But I dunno anymore...
This thing with Jake Bauers last night - guy crashes into the LF wall and never comes to bat - honest to God, it's got me rattled.
Something's up. The juju gods are nasty, but seldom this nasty. Remember Dustin Fowler, the young OF who debuted in mid-2017 and wrecked his knee in the first inning at Comiskey Park? Joe Girardi wept. This isn't quite as bad - Fowler was in his first MLB game, while Bauers has been around - but it totally stinks, I MEAN, IT REALLY FUCKINAY STINKS. And it proves once and for all that something is up. We knew the juju gods were assholes, but I didn't think they were evil assholes. This is just ridiculous.
We're like those kids in The Blair Witch Project, hiking in circles through the haunted woods. No matter what we do, we end up lost, with an Aaron Hicks stick figure in LF. He's like the Babadook: We throw him away, and he returns.
Today, light a juju candle for Bauers. Supposedly, his x-rays came back negative. But - a) we never can believe what the Yankees say about an injury and b) a jammed knee can cause him to miss a week. Poor Bauers. We've seen this movie way too often.
Yeah, it's got me rattled.
(Final note: If you compare the above lineups, the 2013 version is better at CF, LF, 2B, RF and DH. Today's lineup wins at 3B, 1B, SS and C. Dear God...)
Posts
22 comments:
Clearly, Franchy cast a spell on Jake.
YES in game interview with Cole was the highlight of the game. He seems like he's mellowed a bit. Seems like a good guy. More of that please. Makes him that much more attractive for a real contender at the trade deadline.
Indeed, Duque, I thought the same thing, the baseball gods are against us! I hope Bauers has a stronger face and head than Action Jackson Frazier formerly known as Clint, because you know Clint would've been out for a year after that face plant into the wall.
Is it something with the Yankee left fielders and the left field wall? When Judge comes back, if he comes back, they better not put him in LF. That spot is starting to look like it's haunted by an evil spirit.
I wouldn't put any stock in the x-rays being negative. The only time x-rays show anything is when there is a fractured bone. And sometimes a hairline fracture doesn't show on a plain x-ray. He went into that wall plenty hard, so there a zillion injuries that are possible. It's just wait and see if the pain and swelling subsides. If it all goes away relatively quickly, then he's good. If not, then more tests.
But it ain't like Baeurs was going to save the day. Just as Gawaine said in the movie Excalibur "Without Lancelot, this [Round] table is nothing", so it is here. Without Judge, this Yankee lineup is nothing. We have got a major malfunction here: Aaron Ba-Boone, a manager barely alive, pushing blinking lights on the Yankee rocket ship, blissfully ignorant of impending doom, about to crash land into the Yucatan peninsula. A sudden loud bang and then "I got a blowout. Mayday, mayday! I can't hold her. She's breaking up, she's breaking up!"
It's ironic that of the three hits we got yesterday, two were my Willie and Falafel.
The third was by Rizzo, who's semi-quietly having a nice season so far.
Judge is batting .265 with six HR. Not exactly MVP-level numbers. Rizzo is batting .293 with five HR.
Why do we keep trotting out Schmidt and Brito? Might it be because our genius GM traded away Monty and all of our best young pitchers? And got pitchers who are injured and can't pitch?
Sorry. Couldn't resist beating that dead horse just one more time.
Jake, we hardly knew ye.
Monty pitched great last night for St Louis. Outdueled by Kershaw but no shame in that. The guy's a reliable lefty who gets major league hitters out. Cashman traded him for a D first outfielder who's always hurt. Mind bogglingly bad trade. Maybe this has been beaten to death, but that trade was so overwhelmingly bad it's still disorienting to think about. Who would do that? What was the thought process? Not so incidentally, our heroes aren't much above .500 since that trade.
"We're like those kids in The Blair Witch Project, hiking in circles through the haunted woods. No matter what we do, we end up lost, with an Aaron Hicks stick figure in LF. He's like the Babadook: We throw him away, and he returns."
Or like Talking Tina from the Twilight Zone. "My name is Aaron Hicks and I don't like you."
The key word regarding the Yankees is hubris.
Cashman's attitude is that we will always do well because we are "The Yankees".
For him they are the unscrewable pooch.
Well Brain, this pooch be screwed.
Last thing... I was wrong about not liking the pitch clock.
Clearly the Yankees are going to suck and if they suck I'd rather the games were over in 2:45.
Hicks (and Cashman) should be put into the bottom of a trash can in a tied bag with weighted garbage on top followed by a tightly fitting cover with heavy bricks on the lid. No way they could get out and keep tormenting us, right?
Carl -
That's what they tried in the Talking Tina Twilight Zone. Needless to say, it did not work. All it did was take her from "My name is Talking Tina and I don't like you." to "My name is Talking Tina and I'm going to kill you."
Stealing lines from Elton John: It's a sad, sad situation
And it's getting more and more absurd.
Don’t look now, but come tomorrow, first of May, the Yankees might be 9 games off the pace and even worse, as things stand now, this team isn’t even getting a wild card.
With this roster, constructed by our resident genius (aka The Intern, aka The Office Boy) there are no miracles to be had.
We can only hope a disaster of a season will result in Harold firing that inept putz.
But that is asking for a miracle. There’s a better chance of this team playing in October than getting a new GM. Or getting struck by lightning at the North Pole.
The pitching will probably improve at some point when Severino and Rodon eventually return. But the anemic lineup is a bigger problem. That's not going to improve when Donaldson returns. Stanton, yes, assuming his head is in the right place. Maybe Bader, a little bit, but nobody puts a career .245/.317/.405 slap-hitter in the lineup for his bat. But those stats look monstrous compared to the rest of the team.
Volpe seemed to improve when he batted ahead of Judge. Makes sense. Protect the kid and he'll get better pitches to hit. But the Yankees don't have enough quality bats to protect 5 weak or rookie hitters in the lineup every night. Nobody on the bench either. Nothing.
Yet another very poorly constructed team produced by the trust-fund 'brain trust' that is the front office. I'm sure they'll fire Boone, coaches, trainers, cleaning staff and the bat boys before the buck finally reaches the front office, if it ever does.
Sigh.
Stanton's going to return?
Bader's going to play?
Love the Blair Witch analogy, Duque. And all too true.
Meanwhile, not only did Monty pitch well again last night, but Brandon Drury homered, Thairo is hitting .326 in SF, Torrents Chapman is killing it in KC, and Sonny Gray is undefeated and leading the AL in ERA.
All of that may well change, of course. But what galls is how little Cashie got for any of these guys.
Relaxxxxxx everyone.
Bader will be back soon and he has his MILB average up to.143 this year, so he will save us.
El Duque. . . There’s nothing from you today in the NY Times . . .
No Nostradamus fast ball down the middle of the plate . . .
No clever compilation of craziness designed to knock the earth off its axis . . .
How are ANY OF US going to make it through the week?
….weird scenes inside the gold mine.
Hoss, don't forget Miggy's two HRs yesterday for Pittsburgh. Or that Joey Gallo's 2023 OPS is higher than every player on the Yankees. The juju gods do like to kick Brian Cashman around.
Bauers to DL. He'll make MLB minimum while there, no doubt a healthy increase over AAA salary. Happy for him and his family of course, esp if the injury's not too serious. But, my god, this team is a complete farce.
As per always, truth and full disclosure are no-no’s for the Yankees. Best we can tell, Bauers’ injury is pretty much limited to a bruised and swollen knee. No worries, Mr. 1-28 himself, Raunchy Cordero is back. Why not Florial? Why not construct a decent roster in the off-season?
Why ask Why?
@ Doug K...Yes, I know. One of my favorite episodes on TZ. Telly, pre-Kojak.
BWP has to be the most hyped, non-scary, low-budget piece of crap movie ever made.
Post a Comment