Friday, November 1, 2024

Yankee fans are chewing an everything bagel of humiliation, and the bad taste is here to stay.

Damn. I keep spitting, drinking, puking... but this foul taste isn't going away. 

Not sure it ever will. 

I mean, when you talk Great Yankee Fiascos, you flash upon 2004 -still the gold standard for fan humiliation in American sports. The morning after Javier Vazquez delivered his generational meatball, I remember thinking that I could quit the Yankees, the team of my life, once and for all - so deeply ran my disillusionment. It took years to diminish - it has never ended, never will - but in 2009, with a new stadium and a seemingly committed new owner, I told myself that the universe had been reset, that the Yankees would return to greatness, that all was right - a belief that today seems laughable.  

The collapse of 2004 remains the greatest choke in sports history, courtesy of our mortal enemy. And it still defines the modern Yankees, increasingly more than our 27 championships, most of which came a billion years ago. But 20 years later, up until two days ago, we actually thought we were immune to such disasters - that we'd paid our existential dues, that we could never again stuffer such cruelty from the Fates. Even if the Yankees went out in four games, a horrible sweep, it would not rival 2004 for catastrophic pain. 

Well, they were not done with us. What else to say? Three ridiculous errors, a balk, a catcher's interference, a week's worth of RISPs, horrible manager decisions, pitchers who couldn't throw strikes, batters lunging at balls in the dirt, our opponents celebrating in our park... all in one night. An everything bagel of shit.

I dunno if I can do this anymore.

Next year, regardless of where Juan Soto goes, the Yankees will suck. Their core will be one year older, and, generally, three years past their sell-by dates. With the exception maybe of Luke Weaver, who deserved so much better, I don't care about seeing any of their faces again. 

Yeah, Soto is great. If all that matters to him is money - a point he's driven home all year - so long! If Gerrit Cole wants to exercise his free agency option - well, Yankee fan for life - so long.  Gleyber? Rizzo? Giancarlo? Anybody, if you think this fan will miss you, shoo, shoo, shoo...

The Yankees are going to suck, while they drain the great regular seasons from Aaron Judge, and bestow bloated contracts on the stars of 2020 and 2022. They are a detached, soul-less corporation run by a tightwad, country club billionaire and a GM whose job is to enable the owner's cheapness, while they piss away money like a tropical storm surge.

Next spring, when the YES barkers blather-up The Martian, or Volpe's newest approach to hitting, or whatever bullshit they've dredged from the sewers below Tampa and painted gleaming gold, why should we believe anything? 

Nope. I can't get this taste out of my mouth. Pttuuii. 

25 comments:

DickAllen said...

And yet, come January, we will be right back here (if we've ever actually left) counting the days to pitchers and catchers.

13bit said...

Duque - we need you. Let me say that first. We may very well suck now and in the future, but I'm not throwing in the towel yet. Luckily, I can't find that towel, so it's a moot point. I'm not a fan of lost causes, although it did take me 40 years to abandon the Jets, and I'm going to hold on until there's nothing left to hold on with - or hold on to. We must endure. When the next dynasty arrives, we will all know it. As with good porn, we'll know it when we see it. The gods are testing out patience. If there's one thing I can do, it's outlast some assholes. The next few years may or may not be difficult, but I intend to stay the course, whatever that may be.

Doug K. said...

I'm still dealing with processing the loss but everything you wrote rings true especially the part about where do we go from here as fans.

It's starting to feel like we're chumps. I mean ,we ARE chumps but we were getting something out of it. Now I'm not so sure.

There's a post mortem blog post in me but I just wrapped up a cross country drive after packing up and selling my late parents condo and I need to figure out which box has all my underwear.

13bit said...

Doug, as with good pitching, you can never have enough underwear.

The Hammer of God said...

Yeah, we'll never get that vile taste out of our mouths. Which is why I said countless times that it's better not to make it to the World Series if you're gonna end up doing hara-kiri with a plastic spoon.

Come to think of it, us fans have got it easy. The players will have to look in the mirror and say "Wowsers, we fucking suck donkey balls".

The Hammer of God said...

Yesterday and today were days of mourning and feeling sorry for ourselves. But I want everyone to get back on his fucking horse tomorrow, ride back iin to that fucking town, walk back into that fucking saloon, and beat the living daylights out of them cowboys that roughed us up. Give them a beating they'll never forget!

el duque said...

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts, Doug. Just have a few drinks first.

BTR999 said...

My name is BTR999 and I approve of this message!

The Hammer of God said...

Yeah, I've abandoned the Jets too! It's already been many years.

Fortunately for us, the Yankees are not quite as bad. They can still get it done, maybe even next year. But it will take, at the very least, a change of manager & pitching coach. We can't take another year of Boone.

AboveAverage said...

just drinking coffee here - pretending nothing ever happened - 2024 has more in store - fun times ahead - what's that? I'm sorry, I can not hear you . . . my burr grinder is just too damn loud. let me start another pot first and we'll try again

JM said...

As we all know, you can't predict which box has the underwear.

JM said...

World War II began 85 years ago today.

This godforsaken team and its managerial team from hell are not that important. At all.

HoraceClarke66 said...

I love you guys. This is exactly the response I need. Doing endless post mortem breakdowns here, with other friends (yes, I DO have them), etc.

As for the Yankees, I don't think anything is going to change, as long as Hal and Pal are in charge, and that will be a long, long time. And even afterwards, we will no doubt get another Steinbrenner who was born on third base and thinks he hit a triple; another scheming, essentially vacuous general manager,

I don't believe in karma, but if I did, I'd say that we are now all suffering through our karmic comeuppance for all the years of Yankee dominance (and Yankee arrogance, mistreatment of players and fans, not being the leader in integrating baseball, etc.). Or call it "offering it up" for the Yankees now in hell (I see you, Billy Martin, and we're pulling you out!).

But I have to say, it gets harder to have any enthusiasm, each year this sort of play (and this organization) continues.

AboveAverage said...

I read your above comment and my brain (which now is 27% coffee) first saw euthanasia instead of enthusiasm. Better get some more coffee......

13bit said...

There is often a misty veil of a line between euthanasia and enthusiasm. Just so long as we stay away from the toxic euphemisms and unwarranted euphoria.

13bit said...

JM - I always go by September 1, 1939 - the invasion of Poland - but I suppose you could make an argument for another date. What was November 1st, the Sudetenland or something? Also, little known fact, but the massive Hurricane of 1938, the "Long Island Express" that reshaped the topography of Long Island, was wiped off of the news by the situation with Hitler, Czechoslovakia and Chamberlin. Anyway, the big story is that the Yankees suck balls BUT, in the words of Douglas MacArthur, "WE SHALL RETURN." And at least we got to say goodbye to the Master. In fact, if we got NOTHING but "The Yankees run the bases like drunks" out of this year, we're still ahead of the game.

13bit said...

Hoss, a Steinbrenner heir may be born one day - it might be a "he", a "she" or a "they" - and a star will shine in the great north to signal that we have been sent a savior. Hal may one day be seen as the "placeholder" Steinbrenner. I have no idea why I have hope today, but I do, goddamnit! ARE WE NOT MEN???

TheWinWarblist said...

I've been in a bit of a huge state.

WW2 didn't start in Europe. The full-scale war began on 7 July 1937 with the Marco Polo Bridge incident near Beijing, which prompted a full-scale Japanese invasion of the rest of China.

TheWinWarblist said...

The Japanese invasion led to the international sanctions that convinced Japan to go to war with the West.

TheWinWarblist said...

I've been in a bit of a fugue* state.

AboveAverage said...

What the hell should I order for lunch?

13bit said...

Every time I step on the scale lately, I realize I am in a huge state

13bit said...

Ambrosia salad

TheWinWarblist said...

Whiskey. Have a glass of whiskey.

TheWinWarblist said...

Good times are Suntory times!