Wednesday, November 20, 2024

Yankees say groveling supplicant session with Soto and Boras "went well."

Hot news from the Yankee News Network: The Yankees are said to be pleased with themselves. As usual.

Word from the Death Barge brain trust is that their lengthy, coffee-and-donuts talk with Juan Soto and Scott Boras this week did not erupt into, say, fisticuffs or a stabbing. Nobody's fly was unzipped. Nobody puked on the floor. Both sides spoke respectfully and cheerfully - a good time had by all! The Yankees made their elevator pitch, their water-cooler performance, their Power Point presentation and their art show oral sex skit, seeking to woo Soto to another year in the Bronx, at a price tag of probably $65 million per season. 

Once Soto chooses his future home, the rest of baseball can begin strategizing for 2025. 

Insert sigh here.

Look... we can sit back and replay the old bits, carping about the obscene amounts of money paid to athletes. But I'm 72, and throughout all of my periods of semi-awareness, I cannot recall a time when old-coots were not complaining about the money made by today's stars. It's normalcy, the way of the world.

And never once did the amounts of money made by the owners receive equal billing.  

It's impossible to gauge how much Soto deserves to be paid, unless we know how much Hal Steinbrenner is regularly banking, and those figures generally don't get reported. When people talk about Steven Cohen's wealth, the amount seems almost theoretical - closer to infinity than absolute zero. And both are paupers, compared to Elon Musk. 

So why are we so obsessed with and - at times - angry over what the players make? Yeah, some are pampered assholes, groomed as future millionaires by age 16. But the same can be said of many of the owners. Is it because the players are often Blacks or Latinos, who grew up poor or middle class, while the owners are almost always old money WASPs? Or is that too easy an explanation? In my life, I've never figured it out.

So, we sit here... 

We're Estragon and Vladimir, waiting for Godot. We're Charlie Brown and Linus, waiting in the pumpkin patch. We're Hal and Cashman, wondering if our jokes clanked and if we should have worn a tie? We're waiting for a decision, a verdict on our worthiness and wealth.

Meanwhile, good news, everybody: The Yankees are pleased with themselves. 

18 comments:

JM said...

The Yankees will not get Soto because Cashman drank his tea without extending his pinky and also took the last scone.

AboveAverage said...

Oh crap! WHAT did he do with that scone?

BTR999 said...

I know what he can go with that scone…

HoraceClarke66 said...

Good point, Duque. What the players make is obscene—but even more obscene is what we pay the owners. And if they somehow broke the players' union tomorrow, prices would not go down by a dime.

I keep thinking that, somewhere along the line, the business of sports has got to implode. But I keep being wrong.

BTR999 said...

I’m just hoping the situation with Soto resolves itself quickly, one way or the other. If he signs with say, the Mets, we’ll have a lot of work to do. I’m already ready to move on.

13bit said...

I hope he signs with the Mets - heresy, I know - and that we then have to rely on Brian's Brain and skills to get us to the World Series. I wonder how that would go? Hmmm....let me think about it...

ranger_lp said...

Max Goodman
@MaxTGoodman
The #Yankees added infielder Caleb Durbin and catcher Jesús Rodríguez to their 40-man roster.

There are now 37 players on their 40-man roster.

ranger_lp said...

Additionally, the Yankees received RHP Carson Coleman as a Rule 5 Draft return from Texas.

JM said...

Carson Coleman!! Wow!! Get ready for your rings, boys!!!

Happened to catch a bit of Kay on ESPN radio yesterday talking Soto's expected salary, and he was feeling sorry for those poor owners and how they have to raise the price of popcorn when they sign a huge contract.

What a jerk.

Though--maybe on WFAN--the thinking is that Soto is not a complete player, lacking defense and speed, so does not deserve Ohtani money. Maybe not even Judge money, though he'll get more than the Captain. But then there's the fact that he's only 26.

On and on and on it goes...

13bit said...

ATTENTION! I NEED BACKUP, YOU GUYS. I just posted on Keefe to the City's FB page. He told us to post questions, so I gave him my usual rant about Hal and Brian and Boone sucking. THEN, some psycho true believer came on and said he wanted to dispute me, upon which he posted all this ridiculous Yank-Jazeera crap. I responded that I did not intent to engage with him,. but that we were on different planets. I SHOULD JUST BLOCK HIM, but I'm in mood to tolerate fools today - taking care of a sick dog for weeks now - so if any of you on FB felt like being an 8 year old along with me, please go and set the record straight. After that, maybe I'll clock him. So sick of these idiots. It's Moron In America for Yankee fans.

JM said...

If I was a FB user, Bit, I would certainly join you.

AboveAverage said...

Let me look bittster

Doug K. said...

All good points Mr. Duque. That said, there is a problem with overpaying, and I'm all in favor or giving professional athletes as much as they can get.

After all they are the top of the pyramid that starts with every kid running around in their chosen teams underoos.

Unfortunately our owner has a self imposed budget. So $65 mil prevents the Yankees from getting help in other areas and forces Brain to dumpster dive.

The Yankees would have a Rolex on the wrist and everything else from the factory outlet store.

Brand names at a discount!

Ignore the poor stitching.

13bit said...

I may just go block this guy. I don't have the energy to fight anyone, especially a Brian apologist. Shit, it may even be Brian, himself posting.

13bit said...

just blocked this guy. problem solved. life is just too short for bullshit.

TheWinWarblist said...

Fuck him. Fuck that noise. Fuck HAL. Fuck CashBrain. Fuck fuck. Fuck.

TheWinWarblist said...

I would block Yankee ownership and front office.

AboveAverage said...

Ha