Schlittler just keeps going, and going, and going... (and the Yankees have an official team tampon!)

Today's Existential Question: 

Where would Yankee civilization be without Cam Schlittler?

Third in the AL East? Fourth? Fifth? Leading the Tankathon? Below the Mets? Heading for the exit? Dead?

Imagine replacing his 29 starts - 19 with shutouts or one run allowed - with Elmer Rodriguez, Brendan Beck and/or the cast of Glee. Let's be clear:

We don't wanna think of 2026 without Cam the Man.

He leads the AL in ERA and IP, is second in WHIP and BA, third in Ks. If he doesn't win the Cy Young - hands down, despite the institutional, anti-Yankee bias - we should go Jan. 6 on the voting Gammonites.

Next month, Schlittler pitches Game One of our playoff series, no matter who it's against, and the Yankees have a shot. Doesn't matter if it's Dylan Cease, or Jacob DeGrom, or Sonny Gray. If Schlittler starts, we have a shot.

Last night, he gave us eight, holding the Angels to one run, and we almost blew it, anyway.  But if we have Schlittler, we have a puncher's shot.

Other takeaways...

1. Last night, Spencer Jones went 4-for-4 - in Ks. Well, we wuz warned. Jones swings for the glory of all humankind. When he hits them, they reach Vermont. When he misses, Platinum Sombreros.  

He remains one of the most entertaining Yankees to watch - that cockeyed stance is fun enough - and I hope he's in CF next month, because Trent 'Davey Lopes" Grisham has blown it. I believe Joe Torre and Joe Girardi would both go with Jones. Boonie? Not so sure. 

2. Tampa has a bone-crusher September schedule. Starting tonight...

4 v the Rangers (still in it)
3 v Atlanta
3 v Houston
3 v the A's
3 v the Redsocks
4 v the Yankees (in NY)
3 v the Phillies. 

Yikes. Aside from that series against the A's (trap games?), and that's one mutherlovin,' brutal Maxwell House schedule -to the last drop. Meanwhile, the Yankees play the likes of Colorado, the Mets, Arizona and Baltimore. 

3. Hot scoop by The Athletic: The Yankees have finally settled on an official tampon. Writes Asli Pelit, wonderfully: 

Aside from the obvious drink, airline and credit card sponsors, the Yankees are a global platform for a dizzying array of brands. New York Life is the team’s official life insurance partner. Canon is the official digital camera, copier and printer of the Yankees. Bad Boy Mowers is the official field maintenance equipment provider. There seems to be an official partner for just about everything at Yankee Stadium. And now, there is one for period products.

For those of you scoring at home, it is the Sequel brand. I'm sure Food Stamps Hal conducted rigorous quality tests before choosing.  

Take that, Tampa.