The Yankees won't release Ellsbury; he's too valuable to the front office

On the day the Yankees signed Jacoby Ellsbury, - December 7, 2013, a date that will live in infamy! - the world seemed to be getting better. 

Four days earlier, they'd signed Brian McCann, the Munson-like catcher who'd once beat up a showboating runner who was trying to touch home plate. And Ellsbury's signing came the same day we reached a deal with the vastly underestimated Hiroki Kuroda.

Two months earlier, Boston had won the World Series. This was our chance to get even. Hal Steinbrenner was returning to the strategy that won the 2009 championship: Buy the best free agents on the market, and let the fates meld everything together. Some folks wondered if a tweak-magnet like Ellsbury should get a seven-year deal, but we just partied. You saw that Yankee lineup - McCann, Tex, Jeet, A-Rod, Gardner, Cano... how could they miss?

Well, we now know that Ellsbury was a smokescreen, that talks had gone south with Joggie Cano. Five days later, he'd sign Jay-Z's ridiculous deal with Seattle, creating a Yankee vacancy at 2B that continued until last May, when Gleyber Torres arrived. (Fingers crossed that if Gleyber moves to SS, the vacuum doesn't prevail.) 

As a Yankee, Ellsbury has been all that the critics feared. In terms of injuries, he serves to remind us that, sometimes, when everybody says it's raining, it's raining. He never hit above .271, and now, in year six, he is returning from a wipe-out season and hip surgery. 

Two key words here: Hip surgery.

In 2015, in his pre-sainthood, Alex Rodriguez was viewed as a medical miracle after returning from hip surgery to hit 33 HRs. He played DH, and his batting average dropped to .250. He had power, not much else. But Ellsbury has always been a speed/defense CF, without a DH's pop. The chances of him returning to anything remotely like his old form are - WAIT... WTF? WHY ARE WE EVEN PONDERING THIS? THE GUY IS NEVER COMING BACK, HE'S 35, CRIPPLED, AND WAS BARELY ABOVE AVERAGE IN HIS LAST INCARNATION, AND WHY ARE WE EVEN THINKING HE MIGHT EVER PLAY WELL FOR THE YANKEES OR ANYBODY? WTF? WTF? W.T.F?

Excuse me. I lost my spiritual Gamin there for a moment.

Still... One point about Ellsbury must always be remembered. It was never his fault. He signed a stupid contract. It wasn't stupid for him. His family will be fed forever. If we boo him, if we savage him on this blog, we are misplacing our venom - we are letting the front office get away with it. This is not on Ellsbury. It never must be.

Yesterday, I had to retch as the Yankees played their little p.r. mind games. With a straight face, Cooperstown Cashman said the Yankees hope to have Ellsbury back, that they believe he still has some baseball left to play, and that he could help this team. 

What a joke. It's wink-wink, cue-the-booing tape. And the Gammonites play along. Meanwhile, between every paragraph, there is the unspoken suggestion that Ellsbury is the culprit, that if not for his contract, we'd have signed Bryce or Manny, or even Patrick Corbin - that it's all because of Ellsbury that we have to sit out the big auctions. And now, with Aaron Hicks down, we have no CF, and it's all because Ellsbury is once again hurt. Step right up, boys and girls! See the terrible, horrible Jacoby Ellsbury, scourge of the 2019 Yankees.. and beyond! Don't forget to throw your turnip! Don't worry! He's used to it! 

The truth is, if our front office cared about Ellsbury, they would pay him the money, release him, and let the guy fare for himself on the open market. He might get an actual shot with another team. The odds of him ever playing well again are insane. But they won't jettison him, even if it means a roster crunch. They want him around. They want to keep Exhibit A on display, so when the big free agents come up next winter, they can point to the Chief and say, "See? Look! That's what happens! That's why we're staying away!"

It's not on Ellsbury. Let's never blame him. And let's never forget: The Yankees will get their money's worth, just by having him play a new position: Straw man.

No matter how it's parsed, the 2019 Yankee season hinges on Scary Gary Sanchez

In yesterday's meaningless game, Gary Sanchez went two for three with two meaningless doubles, raising his spring average to a meaningless meaningful .250.

That's right. Meaning-ful. It's time to call the cards. The games don't count, but the algorithms do. By now, each player is either accelerating towards Day One or pumping the brakes in distress. (Tulowitzky: 0-2 yesterday with a K, now batting .227.) Certainly, overall numbers since Feb. 24 don't matter a lick. But over the next week, every at bat, every error and - most of all - every gonadal tweak will carry the weight of 100 spring games.

And nobody faces more micro-scrutiny than Mr. Gary Sanchez. 

Purely and simply, he is the key to 2019. More than any other player (including Aaron Judge), the Sanchize - aka the Kraken - has had the largest impact on the modern direction of the franchise.

After Sanchez exploded onto the scene in July 2016, a light switched on in the ruddy head of Harold Z. Steinbrenner. Before Gary, "Hal" was prone towards massive belches of money to bolster the team. Since Sanchez, he's been "Food Stamps," obsessed with clutching his Hello Kitty fanny purse in the name of austerity. 

In that late summer, the Yankees traded Brian McCann, Aroldis Chapman, Andrew Miller and Carlos Beltran - for what has, thus far, amounted to Gleyber Torres and some lottery tickets. (You could add Clint Frazier and part of James Paxton, who we received for Justus Sheffield; the rest are either traded or treading water.) They forced A-Rod out the door (so he could meet J-Lo and live happily ever after.) They insisted that Derek Jeter bat lead-off (so he would someday trade us Giancarlo Stanton.) But instead of falling apart, the Yankees improved. (Their second half record topped that of the first half; they finished just 5 games out of the wild card, due to a disastrous bullpen, leaving some to wonder if they traded Miller and El Chapo a bit too soon.) 

That summer, after hitting 20 HRs in 201 at bats (.290), Sanchez was anointed Yankee Catcher of the Future, perennial all-star and future plaque in Monument Park. Ever since, those honors have slipped through his glove to the backstop. His defense has been atrocious. At one point, his apparent lackadaisical play forced the Yankees to put him on the disabled list. Last year, he didn't crack .200. His horrible, rotten, dismal 2018 was a huge reason why the Yankees failed to catch Boston. If Sanchez had hit - say - .240 with 30 HRs, what a difference it would have made. But he sucked.

The Yankees have never flinched in their support for Sanchez. Now, for better or worse, the cards must be called. If his play does not improve, I have to believe the Yankees will deal him by Aug. 1 for somebody, anybody, who can catch. (They have no successor ready in the minors, and Austin Romine has proved himself to be a stopgap, not a solution.) 

So, no matter how we slice it, 2019 hinges on Sanchez, who turned 26 in December. (He is younger than Judge, Hicks, Voit, Bird and Didi.) Yesterday, he went two for three. One strikeout. A two-out RBI. No passed balls. No stolen bases by the Rays. 

Early spring reports claimed Sanchez was showing a newfound commitment. Trouble is, we've heard that story before; it was the Yankee-written narrative a year ago. The Yankees need a solid catcher, a spark-plug, not a defensive liability who cannot hit. 

The 2019 Yankees should score runs. Judge will hit. Stanton will hit. Andujar will hit. After that, it's question marks (Hicks' back making him no sure thing.) But Sanchez represents the biggest potential improvement over 2018. Will the Yankees be rewarded for their loyalty?

Long ago, people used say, "As Mantle goes, so go the Yankees." (And that usually meant the Yankees were going well.) Now, the same can said of Gary Sanchez. Trouble is, that statement not only true; it is scary. 

My Outlook For The 2019 Yankee season

This season is already starting to look the way 1929 looked for most Americans.

Let me just say this.....

I wish to speak of the Betances thing.  

This shoulder " issue" that has his velocity way down.

In case you were wondering;  this is not a good sign for the Yankees.

A few high flying friends of mine happened to peer inside a jet plane the other day, and spotted Dr. Andrews flying back from his vacation in Croatia.

I would like to propose something radical;

The Yankees should not play this season.

Your 2019 YBNH Halligators' Breakdown—Part de V: Relief Pitching!

I was going to start this segment talking about how relief pitching is the one area where our beloved Hallies have actually done what it takes and built in the redundancy necessary to overcome the injuries that every executive outside of Coops Cashman realizes is an expected part of the long season.

(I was even going to resist making a sinister comment about how relievers usually come cheap, which probably accounts for why Hal prefers to fill up the roster with them the way bad restaurants keep foisting soft, moist bread on you so you won't notice the minuscule portions.  All right, I wasn't really going to resist.  But still.)

Then came today's news about Dellin Betances, and for once the problem isn't with the big guy's head but his inflamed shoulder.  Scratch one flat top, as they used to say in the Big One.

(Just an aside, but do other teams have as many spring training injuries—particularly to pitchers—as the Hallies have in the Coops era?  Again, I have no actual stats to back this observation, but it seems that most pitching injuries should come from fatigue, and occur later in the season.

(For our boys, it always seems to be the spring, which might just imply that something is wrong with the approach of our coaches and/or trainers.  I know, I know:  to question anything at all about our approach to the game is to offend Coops, and risk being cast into the outer darkness.  That must account for why the beat writers never do it.)

The Hallies still should have a strong pen, although that "should" now depends on more caveats than your average international trade deal.  All the press box talk about how this is one of the strongest bullpens, ever, is pure malarkey.  The Hallies' pen doesn't come close to that of the Last Dynasty teams in the Bronx, or the Nasty Boys in Cincinnati in 1990, or half-a-dozen other winners, and there are all kinds of ways it could go very wrong, very quick.

Aroldis Chapman looks to be back on track, which is great.  But let's face it:  he was never close to The Great One, seems to lack the general psychology of a closer—and, in fairness, was horribly betrayed by the coaches and trainers last year, which has also got to play with his mind.

When was the last time any closer had to signal from the mound that he was NOT okay?  Machine Gun, as you'll recall, had been visibly melting down out there, unable to control where he threw the ball.  Ma Boone, Rockhead, and the other geniuses in the dugout simply pretended not to notice.  Oy.
We can only hope the damage done to his knee will not make itself known again this year.

(There's also the fact that anyone who blasts a garage where his wife is hiding with a gun might just not be the most reliable personality to balance your season on.  But that's modern sports.)

At least behind Chappie there are Chad Green and Zack "The Pitcher Formerly Known as Zach" Britton, both of whom could conceivably fill in as closers.

But Green looked much more hittable last year than he had in his stellar 2017, his ERA going up from 1.83 to 2.50, and his velocity and strikeouts curving downwards.  He seemed much more hittable in general, and it will be interesting to see if the league has caught up to him.

Britton looked generally better the more he pitched for us last season and had an okay series against Boston in the playoffs.  He is a veteran with a strong track record already at 30, and bringing him back was a good idea.

The way the acquisition of "Mr. Zero," Adam Ottavino, was greeted by the Knights of the Press Box this offseason, one would have thought we had picked up a young Bruce Sutter and Goose Gossage, all rolled into one.

Hey, the guy had a terrific season last year, no question.  But if you look at his career, it generally fits the common reliever pattern of one terrific season followed by a bad or injured one.  And while he has spent almost his entire career with Colorado, he actually did worse on the road, which is weird and concernful—considering that he now will pitch away from the azure mountains' majesty, full time.

(For extra credit, discuss among yourselves why it was that the zero originated separately in Mesopotamia and amongst the Mayans, but did not come to Europe until much later.  And what was it with all those clunky Roman numerals, anyway?  How the hell did they manage to conquer so much using a numerical system like that?  Did it confuse the enemy?  Inquiring minds want to know!)

Behind the Big Five, er, Four, there are some interesting lugnuts.  Tommy Kahnle has shown considerable signs of life after his mystery ailment wrecked 2018, and Stephen Tarpley made a nice debut late last year and has looked good again this spring.  Same goes for Jonathan Holder, and David Hale might be kinda okay again, sometimes.

Combine them with whoever is the odd starter out—Johnny Lasagna, Luis Cessa, etc.—and there should be enough to make up for even Dellin's loss.

But hey:  aren't you glad the Hallies gave David Robertson the boot, complete with a parting slap in the tabs about what a lousy guy he was?  Not like we could use Houdini this year, nosirree...

Gio. Gi-o-o-o-o.

Next stop my town
Gio got the money down,
Let 'em roll,
Cash said one more arm ought to do it.
One more arm 'fore we blow it,
One more for the Bronx!

Gio
Whoah-oh-oh-oh,
He's for the money
He's for the show
Gio's waitin' to go, go Gio—

—with apologies to Boz Skaggs

I guess the thing to be said about this one is, Gio's probably a slight improvement over the aforementioned Lance Lynn.  They're almost the same age, and Gio has had a slightly better overall career, and pitched better most of last season—although, not in the second half, when he was 4-5, with a 4.93 ERA.

The man who had a better second half than first half in 2018?  Dallas Keuchel.  But I know, I know, lambkins:  Dallas Keuchel will want actual money, whereas Gio Gonzalez we can pay off in box tops and use beanies.

(What's that, lambkins?  You want to know why it is, if Coops Cashman does not believe in left-handers he may now have four of them in his rotation?  Shhh, lambkins, time for beddy-by.)

Today in Yankee history

No, really. I mean, today. Like, right now.

Jack Curry @JackCurryYES 3m
Cashman announces that Betances has inflammation and impingement in right shoulder. Will start year on injured list.

Jack Curry‏ @JackCurryYES 1m1 minute ago

Betances will be treated with anti inflammatory medication. Yanks had been concerned because his velocity was down.

Jack Curry @JackCurryYES 38s39 seconds ago

Cashman didn’t provide a timetable for Betances return. Said he doesn’t expect it to be a lengthy injury.

This team is as fragile as my Aunt Sadie's porcelain teapot. But the teapot pitches better.

Angels rob Yanks of fake 2020 free agent austerity excuse

Mike Trout is signing an extension.

There go all those fake excuses that the Yankees would be cutting payroll and saving up their money to sign him.

Zack Grienke.
Yu Darvish.
J.D. Martinez.
Patrick Corbin.
Clayton Kershaw.
DJ LeMahieu.
Manny Machado.
Bryce Harper.
Nolan Arenado.
Mike Trout.

With Gio Gonzalez, Yanks recapture spirit of 2018 wild card trophy

Lately, I've been a-whinin' again - feeling sorry for myself, as usual - that the Yankees this winter have simply recreated the same outfit that won the 2018 AL East Silver Medal, finishing 8 games behind Boston, and which dropped three out of four to them in the playoffs, including one tortuous contest - in Yankee Stadium, no less - by a score of 16-1. Woe is me. How sad I am.

My argument was to study this winter's acquisitions:

J.A. Happ - same as last year.*
Zack Britton - same as last year.* (But spells name differently.)
Adam Ottavino - replaces David Robertson.
Brett Gardner - same as last year.*
CC Sabathia - same as last year.* (But with heart disease.)
Troy Tulowitzki - replaces Didi Gregorius.
DJ LeMahieu - replaces Tulowitzki, when he gets hurt.
James Paxton - replaces Sonny Gray.

* = But one year older in career twilight.

Ahh, but some of you detected the flaw in my analysis. What about Lance Lynn? you demanded. What about that dutiful, 31-year-old war horse we obtained from Minnesota for Tyler Austin and Luis Rijo? The alliterative Lynn Lion gobbled up 54 innings for us, with a 4.14 ERA. Until yesterday, the Empire had not replaced his illustrious presence at the Harold Z. Steinbrenner Steakhouse & Crabs Buffet.  

Well, we have our man: The equally alliterative, 33-year-old Gio Gonzalez, is said to be signing a one-year-pact. Last year, Gio went 10-11 for two above- .500 teams, with a 4.21 ERA against lineups without the DH. I think George King of the Murdoch Post puts it quite succinctly: 

Looking at Gonzalez’s 2018 season, it’s hard to determine if he is better than Cessa, German or Loaisiga. 

My sentiments exactly. But there is one difference between Gonzalez and the other three: He is guaranteed to go north, regardless of how poorly he pitches. The Yankees have spent some of Hal's hard-inherited money, so whatever competition existed for that opening - it's a thing of the past.

So, yeah, I guess I'm an ingrate. The Yankees sign someone, and all I do is complain. But we seem to always be shopping in the bargain basement, while Dallas Keuchel is still out there. The Yankees have all the money in creation, yet they love to shake their empty purse and pretend the cupboard is bare. Come August, they will be scrounging the trade wires, preparing to deal whatever prospects have risen through the system, for some other team's salary mistake. And the roots of every mid-summer crisis stem directly from the cheapness of winter.  

So there you have it, folks. The Frankensteinbrenner recreation is complete. We are the 2018 Yankees.* 

So here is my question: Are the Redsocks, without closer Craig Kimbrel (unless he turns around and signs with them), eight games worse than they were last year? If so, we can win the AL East! If not, well, maybe Gio can pitch the fourth inning in the Wild Card game. Because that's where we'll be: 2018, all over again.*

If the Yankees plan to send Greg Bird to Scranton, maybe they should just free him from the nest

Current spring training batting leaders

If the award were given today, Greg Bird would be named the AL's  2019 Most Meaningless Valuable Player. He would beat out HR champ Aaron Judge and the late-blooming Jose Soler of the Royals. But who could overlook Bird's .343 batting average and league-leading OBP of nearly .500! He's been a monster of meaninglessness. 

Bird has led the Ancient Empire to a 13-6 record - first place! - in the 2019 Meaningless Grapefruit standings. Best meaningless record in baseball. With less than two weeks to play, they lead the always-meaningless Nats by one-and-a-half empty games. Moreover, last place Boston (8-14) has been eliminated from the meaningless pennant. (They will, however, advance to the meaningful Grapefruit post-season, starting March 30.) 

Bird is the Paul Lynde center square to the Yankees meaningless pennant quest. Look at those numbers! LOOK AT THEM, DAMMIT! The guy's on fire! He's crushing it! When has he ever hit like this?

Hmmm. Well, on further review, I have an answer to the above question:

In the meaningless spring of 2015, Bird hit .353. And in the 2016 Grapefruit League, he hit .451. Last year, he meaninglessly sucked - .154 (which foreshadowed his .199 regular season.) 

So... what should we make of Bird's joyous, red-hot, meaningless spring?

How about this: Nothing. 

Let's not bother getting hyped for a guy who could go down as the millennials' all-time version of Kevin Maas. Moreover, Bird is apparently destined for Scranton, no matter what he does. Supposedly, the Yankees have decided that a) Luke Voit (.290 this spring) won 1B fair and square last season, and b) they won't carry two 1B on the 25-man roster. (That could change due to Aaron Hicks' injury, but I still can't figure how an extra 1B fills that hole.)

I'm not one for proposing trades. Generally, I think of each Yankee as one of my children. I want them to live nearby, be happy, and return their mother's calls, for Kricesake. But here's a thought: 

If the Yankees really plan to send Bird to Scranton next week, if his great spring as meaningless as we suspect, they ought to trade him. If they pile him onto a bus to Wilkes Barre, he will be demoralized and crushed. He will get off that bus as another Jose Pirela, Mason Williams, Zolio Almonte, Slade Heathcott, Andy Philips, or Brigadoon Refsnyder. If he goes from battling Voit to competing with Ryan McBroom, his batting average will plummet, and when the time comes to trade him, or promote him, or do something with him, we will have nothing for him: Zip, zero, zilch, Zolio...

Bird is having the best spring in Florida. (Oh, and here's another heartbreaking stat: Estevan Florial leads the AL in meaningless steals, with 5.) He's at peak foliage. If the Yankees are as cheap as they seem to be, and if they won't spend to sign Dallas Keuchel, then Cooperstown Cashman ought to hit the phones and spin another one of his meaningless deals. Strange as this may sound, I've really come to root for Greg Bird. I don't want to see him mired in Moosic. Let's not create another Brigadoon. 

Your YBNH Halligators—The Breakdown (and I DO mean breakdown!), Part IV: The Starting Pitching!

You knew we had to get here sooner or later.  The most rickety part of the team to start with, that termite-ridden set of side stairs most likely to fall apart the next time your litigious second cousin Wicklow comes by, to drop us all on our collective keisters.

Starting pitching was the weak part of this team last year, and the problem was never really fixed even though the Hallies' cracked front office knew it was only likely to get worse.  It's easy to see a total meltdown here, one that could take us down from One-Game Wild Card Play-In Contenders to 70-something-wins terrritory.

Luis Severino was not tipping pitches, it turned out, but had a bum shoulder.  Oh, what a surprise!  I know I called this sometime last August, and I'm sure most of you did, too.  I'm just happy it's not something worse, like a (non-PED) drug problem.

Who knows how much more damage Sevy did to that wing while the Hallies and pitching coach Rockhead insisted he was just tipping his pitches?  Plenty, probably.

The bottom line is, our former ace is almost certainly headed for rotator cuff surgery, and despite what Tommy John surgery did for for Tommy John—a very smart, veteran pitcher who never did live off the fastball—most players don't ever fully come back from it.

At best, we'll see Sevy sometime in 2021, probably still at half-strength then.  At worst, well...he and Chien-ming can sit around on Old Timer's Day pantomiming heart-rending conversations about how close they came to that 20th win...

Next up on our fabulous staff, soon to be renamed, "The Invalid Corps," is Masahiro Tanaka, someone who is very much more like Tommy John.

Even I can't bitch about the five strong regular seasons and the excellent postseason starts Tanaka has given us, and I know he's looked pretty good this pre-season (even if he has allowed 11 hits in 10 innings thus far).

But let's face it: Tiger Tanaka's arm has been hanging by a string for what, three seasons now?  The odds are not great that he will last, even if he is only 30.  Why do you think he didn't test the free-agent market for 2018?

Then there's CC.  Hey, I love The Bear to death.  Who doesn't?  But in his current condition, he's even money to become the first major-league player ever to die on the playing field (Ray Chapman, fatally beaned by the Yanks' Carl Mays at the Polo Grounds, actually expired in a hospital.).

We can all pray it won't come to that.  But the chances of a 300-plus-pound pitcher with bad knees going on 39 completing an entire season are ridiculously low.

Even at $8 million, this has to be one of Coops' most ludicrous mis-expenditures—particularly for an organization that claims to be broke because it HAS TO SPEND $90 MILLION A YEAR ON DEBT SERVICE!!

This brings us to James Paxton, entertainingly described in your local neighborhood press box as an "ace."  Oh, those wags!  Sure, Paxton's an ace, if your idea of an ace starter is a 30-year-old who has never thrown more than 160 innings in a season, never pitched in October, and never won more than 12 games in a season.

After years of injury and disappointment, Paxton won those dozen games along with a 2.98 ERA in 136 innings in 2017.  Huzzah!  But providing yet another of the blinking dashboard lights that Coops Cashman, stressed housewife, chooses to ignore when she's in a hurry, Paxton actually slipped backwards in 2018.

His record dipped just slightly, to 11-6, but Paxton's ERA ballooned, by over 3/4 of a run, to 3.76.  Even more alarming, the number of homers he allowed bulged from 9 to 23—something you really ought to consider when you're acquiring someone to pitch in the bandbox known as YS III.

Was this really the guy you want for your highest rated pitching prospect, Justus Sheffield?  (Not to mention another pitching prospect once held in high regard, and an outfielder who hit 22 HRs in 100 Single-A games last year?)  All on the data gleaned from Shef's 2 2/3 innings in the show last season?

Either Shef is yet another Hallie minor-league fraud, or Coops has badly miscalculated.  And no matter what the answer, the bigger question is whether "Ace" Paxton is also about to blow out his arm, something all those dingers may be indicating.

Why is it that something tells me Coops "Lucy" Cashman won't make it back home with Ricky's dinner in time?  Hilarity won't ensue.

Rounding out the staff, ironically, is the Hallies' surest bet to finish the whole season, at age 36:  J.A. Happ.  Actually, no pitcher is really a lock to get through a season at 36, of course, but Happ has already weathered past injuries, he is a veteran grinder, and he haas pitched very well against our main rival (or at least he did, before Ma Boone decided to pitch him twice in the space of days against Boston last year).  And he is a southpaw.

(Quick question here:  Why, if being a lefty no longer matters in YS III, does Coops have three of them in his starting rotation?  Just asking.)

What is there behind The Invalid Corps?  Precious little.  Just two years ago, our farm system was teeming with terrific young prospects the way the Okeefenokee used to swarm with tadpoles in June.

Since then, though, Crane Coops has relentlessly gobbled up most of them for one or another of his tread-milling deals, and an extraordinary number have seen their arms implode under the crack tutelage of the Hallies' instruction and training.

One of the very worst deals was to give Oakland three prospects (one of them a pitcher) for Sonny Gray, then turn around and dump Sonny for moist towelettes and a draft pick. I never much cared for Sonny and didn't want him in the first place. But he was still a sought-after entity, still under 30.

If that was really the best Coops could get for the hoser, they should have kept Sonny, let him pitch the way he wanted to pitch, and at least seen if his value went up.

But no could do, and after a big injury to Mike King, who put in a great minor-league season in 2018 but now has been dropped down the Bronx memory hole, there really isn't much left.  Chance Adams, who the Hallies wouldn't give a chance even before he was injured, and was cutting through AAA lineups like a hot knife through cream cheese?

Johnny Lasagna, Domingos Acevedo and German?  Luis Cessa—who right now looks likely to be the first substitute into the pool???

Hey, no snorting bourbon through your nose.  That may be our starting rotation come June.

DOOM & GLOOM

It is already one of those wasted seasons:

Hicks - new contract, but back like Mattingly.  Out.

Severino - new contract, but arm like Tommy John.  Out.

Florial - best spring of any Yankee. Broken wrist like Tino. Out.

Didi - in recovery room.  Return and "baseball ready" date uncertain.  Out.

Montgomery - entering second consecutive lost season.  Out.

Tuto - you really think this " roll of the dice" is going to work, unscathed? ( still in )


Can we get Jace Petersen back?

-   If Stanton plays left field, it will be like defending a huge terrain with a walrus.  If the ball isn't hit right to the man, it is double or triple.   And what we get on the offense from him is a new record for strikeouts in a single season.

-  If Gardy plays center he'll be great for 45 days ,and then break down.

-  Clint ( not red thunder ) will hit .220 in Scranton.

Whichever player is trending toward a career year , will get blown up.
It is a push to even think this team makes the wild card play-in game.

Because these disasters are striking at the heart;

-  Our best pitcher; our best CF; our best prospect. Our hope.

I think the gods have decided to show Hal ( I am not cheap ) that his "head in the financial sand" approach, for the greatest franchise in the game, is sinful.

Swim on.  But this is a season of disappointment and sorrow.
Now and forever, until October gently removes all possibilities.

The season hasn't even started and I need a vacation.

Estevan Florial fractures his wrist, and suddenly, Yankee prospects look dim

If you haven't heard the soul-on-fire screams... Estevan Florial, the Yankees' top prospect - basically, their only position prospect worth a butt-scratch - broke his wrist yesterday, splattering into a wall at George M. Hopedrainer Field. The Death Star spokesman, Brian Huckabee Cashman, says Florial will miss just two months. But who believes Death Stars? Remember Aaron Judge's broken wrist last August? He was supposed to miss three weeks. Bad wrists kill seasons, if not careers. Florial - the last hope of the Yankee "International Class of '14," when they lobbed tens of millions upon a Neverland-worthy gaggle of Latino beansprouts - is now just another Single A lottery ticket dreaming of someday getting the call to Scranton.  

Dear God, this is horrible, rotten, sickening, deathly news. It reminds us that baseball seasons are infinitely cruel, and "depth" is always a mirage. With Aaron Hicks out indefinitely - (there's no other way to say it) - the Empire has stunningly been reduced to putting bow-legged Clint Frazier, in CF, or turning to the always expendable conga line of career minor-leaguers. (Frazier doesn't want to be called "Red Thunder" any more. How about if we call him "Red Wall Paste.") Of course, there is also Gardy, who played CF back in the day. How many players, how many positions, should we displace?

Damn, this is depressing. Florial was having a great spring, becoming a name to check in daily box scores. He might have started in Trenton, where he could conceivable leapfrog the Wilkes Barre experience and come straight to the Bronx. Now what? Another year in Tampa? Meanwhile, a sense of burgeoning Ebola virus infuses the roster.

The Yankees made no inroads this winter. They basically exchanged Sonny Gray for James Paxton, and maintained the same team (minus Andrew McCutcheon) that fell to Boston in four. Now, they'll start 2019 without Hicks or Luis Severino, while somehow expecting CC Sabathia to pitch every fifth day, between widow-maker artery blockages. 

Yesterday, Tampa unveiled a new defensive strategy: The four-man outfield. The Yankees, in response, have a two-man outfield... and a three man rotation.

We are rumored to be on the verge of signing Gio Gonzalez. Words cannot describe the lack of hope this news engenders. 

This winter, the Yankees had their chances. They went cheap. Every time. It's amazing how depressing the news of a broken wrist can be. But the Yankees' best and greatest hope... well, we're back to judging prospects by their signing bonuses. And with the Yankees, that's a damn lousy track record. So who do we watch now, Everson Pereira? Dear God, this is sad.

It's time for the Yankee "Clean New Deal"

At the time, it seemed rather fishy, even by Yankee standards. Just days - practically hours - after our "fully operational Death Star" signed long-term contracts with Aaron Hicks and Luis Severino, both players came up lame. Now both face injuries that undermine the 2019 season. 

Coincidence? Nah. In the Yankiverse, there is no such thing. My guess is the players were privately concerned about their ailments - Hicks' lower back and Severino's throwing shoulder - during the negotiations. It's why they signed what the Gammonites called "team friendly" deals. They were secretly worrying.  

And let's be thankful for those moves - what I'm calling the Clean New Deal -  because the alternatives could be disastrous. 

Severino is currently out until mid-May. But he does not need to rush back too quickly. If not for the new deal, he would now be entering the most important contact year of his life, with a barking shoulder. Could he divulge it? What if he misses the season? He'd miss out on financial security. A pitcher coming off of arm surgery wields no bargaining power. This spring, he'd be more likely to stay quiet and pitch through the pain. He'd have no safety net - not the 4-year $40 million deal he has now. 

Shoulders are a bitch. Severino could miss a vast portion of this season. But the Yankees - who have him through 2023 - must now treat him as a long term investment. If not for the deal, and the peace of mind that comes with it, Severino might be out there throwing, hoping the pain will go away, and throwing his career out the window.  

Then there is Hicks, who suffers back pain. He says he vastly underestimated his original malady - a suggestion that he knew about it during negotiations. At first, the Yankees said he'd miss a weekend. Now, it's opening day. (Since the Yankees never tell the truth about player injuries, we can't count on anything.)

If it's a herniated disk, Hicks will miss six to eight weeks, not counting rehab. He could be out until July - and, worse, compromised in his play. You don't want him rushing back to hit .210.   

Without that long-term deal, Hicks might be on a course to do just that. He would be worrying about losing his big contract next year. Now, both sides have a stake in giving Hicks adequate time to heal. The money is not a factor.

The losses of Severino and Hicks have been this spring's most sobering events. Without either, it's hard to see the Yankees overtaking Boston, which would mean their second straight world championship. Imagine two in a row. Will kids grow up dreaming of playing for the Redsocks, as baseball's premier team? 

In March, the worst thing we can do is push an injured player back too quickly. But that requires the player to disclose private aches and pains that, frankly, are not in his interest to discuss... unless the team has a long term investment. Long term contracts dictate long term strategies. If they go south, it's only money, and the Yankees sure have enough. They should pursue more long term deals, and it should begin soon - like TODAY - with Dellin Betances. Let's save the future with the Clean New Deal!

For better or worse, this is the year we call the cards on Clint Frazier

In the Yankee front office's decisions to ignore Bryce and Manny, one point did offer a bit of fan hope: Both moves - or non-moves - gave Clint Frazier one more chance.

If we'd we signed Machado, Manny would have eventually moved to 3B, chasing Miguel Andujar into LF, and Frazier - if he had yet to escape the Scranton atmosphere - would be lost forever in the Poconos. If we'd signed Harper, Frazier would be a goner, a face in the crowd of too many OFs.

Now, presumably we will see what "Red Thunder" can do. I, for one, still remember the excitement of the 2016 Andrew Miller trade - the first time in this millennium that the Yankees admitted their failures and sought to rebuild. El Chapo was shipped off to Chicago for Gleyber Torres. Then Andrew Miller went to Cleveland, and here came Frazier, a highly touted slugger with an outgoing personality, almost a mini-Nick Swisher.  He jokingly asked to wear number 7. He tried to keep his long red hair. He ruffled feathers, and - damn - it's what we needed.

But if you're going to wear the lampshade, you better be able to back it up on the field. And Frazier has yet to do that. In 2016, it seemed impossible that the Yankees could actually lose on the trade, but final judgments will land on Frazier and James Paxton (who we received for Justus Sheffield, the other chip we received.) 

This spring, Frazier is not doing much. He is 5 for 30 with no homers. Yesterday, he supposedly was pleased with himself after hitting a long fly ball. Jeez, that's setting the bar a bit low, doncha think? Also, they say he didn't shrink while chasing a long fly to the wall. Frazier dislikes walls as much as Nancy Pelosi. He's twice run into them and not come out the same.

They say it's a done-deal that he'll start the season in Scranton. That's mainly because the Yankees love Brett Gardner and will give Gardy at least two months to stake his claim on LF. But I still believe in Frazier. I think he'll someday hit 30 home runs in a season. I just hope it's with the Yankees.

Searching for illusions in a Yankiverse of delusion

Bryce Harper barely hides his disappointment. "Everybody knew that, growing up, I was a huge Yankees fan," he tells today's Murdoch Post (now with Jerry Hall!) "Never heard from them."

Imagine the scene right now if the Yankees had signed Harper. All of New York would be standing on its toes, waiting for the first spring HR. Every Yankee would have been interviewed. The YES Network would be exploding with viewers. To keep pace, Boston would have shelled out for Craig Kimbrel, and the Yankees would once again be baseball's marquee team. But they never even called.

So we have this dismal box score reality:

Of course, none of this matters. Too soon. What matters, though, is that Aaron Hicks remains sidelined, now two weeks after publicly divulging his bad back. How long beforehand had he been nursing it? would seem a valid, but unanswered question. Bad backs are tricky. He might miss opening day. When I hear about back issues, I think of Don Mattingly. Anything is possible. 

Tyler Wade is playing SS, along with Gleyber Torres. I think it's clear to everyone that Troy Tulowitzki - whether he hits a lick or not - must be treated with extreme caution. The guy is a walking tweak. At this point, we have no choice but to roll the dice on Tulo. But the odds of him regaining his former level of play continue to grow - against him. 

As for pitchers, Mean Chad Green got whacked - but it was the first time he's pitched two straight days, so he's actually ahead of schedule. 

Tommy Kahnle is throwing zeroes. It sure would be nice... 

Two weeks before opening day. Scuttlebutt says Greg Bird is destined for Scranton, no matter what he hits this month. So be it. He made his bed. But without Hicks in the lineup, we have only one LH bat - Gardy, who didn't crack .240 last year. The Yankees can pooh-pooh the RH tilt all they want. It's a bad omen, especially in Yankee Stadium. 

And the man who would have all the difference in the world, the one who right now would be on every billboard and talk show host's breath... we never even called. 

Imagining the homer-hollers that could'a, should'a been...

The other day, over our super phones, Mustang, Alphonso and I were musing over what John Sterling might have done with a Bryce Harper homer. 

THE BRYCE IS RIGHT!

BRYCE IS NICE!

BRYCE IS CHRIST!

We'll likely never know. (By the time Harper comes to the Yankees, around 2025, The Master will probably be retired.) But somewhere out there, in the vast recesses of the cosmos, there exists a Yankiverse where Bezos owns the team, Trump is a car dealer, and Food Stamps Hal is a star on Broadway. At times, through glitches in the Matrix, we catch brief glimpses of this world.

And in that universe, the defending champion Yankees just signed Harper and Manny Machado, causing the lords of the game to bellow about one dynastic team, one certain owner, who is a traitor to his billionaire cheapo aristocracy and is refusing to collude. 

In this alt-Yankiverse, nobody is happier than the alt-John Sterling, who is currently testing home run calls. Close your eyes, and you can hear him, yelling through the wormholes. 

MANNY IS UNCANNY!

WHO DA MAN? MANNY DA MAN!

QUIEN ES MAS MACHADO!

MACHADO SHOWS BRAVADO!

HARPER NEVER SHARPER!

BRYCE AIN'T LICE!

MANNY KICKS FANNY! 

Ah, but in this world, The Master is working on the one home run that DJ LeMahieu will hit this year. And for that one, I got nuthin.' 

Your YBNH Halligators!—The Breakdown, Pt. III—Outfield!

Sorry for the delay on this, folks.  Even as we speak, more and more of El Duque's coin flips are being taken—and lost—on the 2019 Hallies.

And so we come to the outfield, where Coops imperiously informed the Knights of the Press Box that we have six, count 'em six players rarin' to go, and no need of some recent NL MVP still in his mid-twenties.

In fact—and as usual—this is an area where the Hallies are even more vulnerable than they were in 2018, when they started the spring with ten—count 'em, ten!—outfielders, and ended up with Shane Robinson and Tyler Wade walking upon the Bronx' mountain green, as it were.

The 2019 outfield is ridiculously, unnecessarily shaky even before we get started.

To begin with, Coops went out and pulled off another of his bizarre "coups" ("Coop's Coups"?  Wait, I had that for dinner last night!) by giving a 7-year, $70-million contract to Aaron Hicks, who the writers like to call The Second-Best Centerfielder in Baseball more often than we used to call James Brown The Hardest Working Man in Show Business.

This is still a hangover from the halcyon, first half of the 2017 season, when Hicks gave us a tantalizing  glimpse of his old, first-round draft pick promise, by compiling a .290 BA and .913 OPS with 10 homers and 7 stolen bases.

Alas, THAT Aaron Hicks has never been seen again, thanks mainly to the injuries which have plagued his career and led him to miss 25 games in 2018.

Hey, I don't mean to knock the man. He has been one of Coops' best trash-heap pick-ups, and if his being The Second-Best Centerfielder in Baseball is more an indication of how weak the position is right now than anything else, well, so what?  He is still a valued lug nut.

The trouble, to quote Eliot, is that while Hicks is "not Prince Hamlet, nor am meant to be,/ Am an attendant lord, one that will do/ To swell a progress, start a scene or two"...he's being paid like he is the big Dane, and it just makes me more and more melancholy. His $10 mill a year will not seem like such a bargain by 2021, never mind 2025.

Nowhere in the outfield, though, are the Hallies really secure.

It's very good that Aaron Judge is looking to make contact on two strikes now, because what he was doing last year sure wasn't playing in the sticks.  Don't get me wrong, I love the big guy to death. But his meltdown on the road last year—.212, .688, 9 homers and 22 ribbies—is a flashing dashboard light, as are his two serious injuries in as many seasons.  Much as it breaks my heart to (constantly) say it, a more canny organization would truly consider trading The Judge now, at his peak value.

That's not going to happen, though—and with Coops in charge, it's undoubtedly just as well—so all I can say is:  it's great to have at least one such mensch on a team run by momzers.

Turning to the other Twin Tower, Giancarlo Stanton...what's left to say?  It would be nice if he could at least play some decent outfield for us this year, but don't count on it.  He did carry us at times in 2018, and he put up with a lot of guff and kept his mouth shut, which is all to the good.

But let's face it:  the odds are much higher that he's going to repeat his horrible, un-clutch performance against the BoSox and maybe even set the season strikeout record, than that he will revert to Miami form.  What will be most galling is watching Hal use him as an excuse for passing up one great free agent after another over the next nine years.

Ma Boone has already informed us that our last, remaining big hope for the future, The Man Who Hates His Nickname But Can't Remember His Cats',  Clint Frazier, will probably be going down to Dunder Mifflin Land to start the season "so he can play regularly."

He should play regularly right here, in Yankee Stadium.  I know, I know: the big relief is that he seems—so far—knock swan—to be physically all right.  But enough already.  Frazier is now 24.  Slug his big ol' potential into the lineup, and let's see what we got.

Instead, we will have to watch yet another season of Gardy starting out like a lion and ending up like The Slaughtered Lamb.

Again, the usual caveat:  I love Gardy to death.  Come to think of it, we have a pretty darned lovable outfield all-around.

But the Hallies have never been willing to accept the obvious, that Gardy is a man built to be a terrific No. 4 OF, but who just cannot take the wear and tear of a full season. Lifetime, he is a .274/.771 guy, with 67 HR and 149 SB in the first half; .243/.685, with 29 HR and 108 SB in the second.

He had his worst full season in the majors in 2018, hitting just .236, and the decision to bring him back as a starter was foolish.  Gardy will be making $7.5 mill; combine that with the wages Hicks, CC, and Gen. LeMahieu are making in 2019—none of whom will be vaguely worth it—and you're up to $37.5 million, or more than the cost of a Harper.

Speaking of crazy salary decisions, we're still only talking five outfielders here.  For somme reason the Yanks continue to keep Rashad Crawford, a man who can't run and can't hit for power around (now in his 8th pro season!), and while it has been good to see some signs of life out of Estevan Floral, it is far from certain if and when he'll contribute anything in the show.

But then, who IS that great sixth outfielder?  Tyler Wade?  Luke Voit?  Hmm...I keep wondering, but all I'm drawing is some wavering image of Fenway Park...

Where no man has gone before: Aaron Judge attempting unprecedented paradigm... the two-strike adjustment

Wow. Double wow. Dude, I'm gonna lay something on ya, and it's gonna blow... your... mind. Sit down. Take your shoes off. Close your eyes. 

What if -  and bear with me, because this idea may sound like it's from another galaxy - what if... when a batter has two strikes on him, he altered his swing slightly, trying harder to make contact? 

Let that sink in, amigo. He alters his swing, so as to try to - (sucks on joint) - hit the ball.

As a result, in theory, he would strike out fewer times and put the ball into play, thereby creating potentially higher abstract mathematical odds, thereby favoring his chances of said sphere to penetrate places where the defensive stratagems have failed to - WHOAH, STOP THE TILT-A-WHIRL, MY MIND IS BLOWN, WHAT A CONCEPT, THIS IS PURE KEROUAC, AM I HAVING AN ACID FLASHBACK? WHERE'S JERRY GARCIA? WHAT AN IDEA! YES, OF COURSE IT'S CRAZY, IT'S BALLS TO THE WALL NUTS... BUT BUT BUT... IT SO CRAZY THAT IT JUST MIGHT WORK!

Imagine... instead of taking his roundhouse swing, just happily ejaculating toward the fences - swish-swish-swish and walk back to the dugout, Sluggo - the batter actually zeroes in on the upcoming two-strike pitch... and concentrates on making contact?

I know, I know... it's just theoretical gobbledygook, pure conjecture, regurgitated nonsense from some child-of-nature-friend-of-man flower child - get a job, hippies! - with no real world application. It probably hatched in the head of a street person or a drug dealer or - hmm - maybe Elon Musk? He's known for bold ideas. This would be his biggest yet: THE TWO-STRIKE BATTING ADJUSTMENT!

Well, that's what Aaron Judge is doing, with guidance from the always-innovating Yankee brain trust. Supposedly - I'll believe it when I see it - when Judge has two strikes, he'll lessen his forward stride, giving him a longer look at each pitch, so he can strikeout less and put more balls in play. 

Says Kevin Kernan of the Murdoch Post (featuring Jerry Hall!):

No leg kick from the front leg. No toe tap. No stride. Just a powerful coiled right-handed snap swing. That is especially the case with two strikes, his new two-strike approach.

A two-strike adjustment. Wow. Is baseball ready for such an innovation?

What. Hath. God. Wrought? 

The end of history, Part II

This past Saturday, Mustang helped keep the Yankiverse au courant by posting news of A Rod's and J Lo's engagement:

She said yes ❤️ pic.twitter.com/IoyGj6NSAU

— Alex Rodriguez (@AROD) March 10, 2019

I find that everyone absorbs such sweet and wonderful news in their own way.  Jose Canseco was clearly beside himself with joy when he tweeted out his good wishes to the couple:

Watching World of Dance watching J.Lo text Alex Rodriguez little does she know that he is cheating on her with my ex-wife Jessica poor girl she has no idea who he really is

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) March 11, 2019

Taking a page from the "No, really, it's true!" school of Tweets, Canseco continued:

I was there a few months back with her when he called her on her phone

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) March 11, 2019

Having established that he wasn't, in fact, kidding, Canseco shifted gears, took on a more avuncular tone, and went into serious peer counseling mode:

Alex Rodriguez stop being a piece of shit stop cheating on Jennifer Lopez

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) March 11, 2019

After his series of rat-a-tat-tat tweets, Canseco took a few hours to reflect.  During that time, it seems that some of his followers doubted his word.

I am willing to take a polygraph to prove that what I'm saying about Alex Rodriguez is 100% accurate

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) March 11, 2019

How lucky we are to have such entertainment!  The JuJu gods are clearly orchestrating all this to take our minds of the reality of our Starting Rotation.  And Manager.  And Pitching Coach.  And General Manager.  And owner.  And.....