IT IS HIGH, IT IS FAR, IT IS...

Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Gio. Gi-o-o-o-o.

Next stop my town
Gio got the money down,
Let 'em roll,
Cash said one more arm ought to do it.
One more arm 'fore we blow it,
One more for the Bronx!

Gio
Whoah-oh-oh-oh,
He's for the money
He's for the show
Gio's waitin' to go, go Gio—

—with apologies to Boz Skaggs

I guess the thing to be said about this one is, Gio's probably a slight improvement over the aforementioned Lance Lynn.  They're almost the same age, and Gio has had a slightly better overall career, and pitched better most of last season—although, not in the second half, when he was 4-5, with a 4.93 ERA.

The man who had a better second half than first half in 2018?  Dallas Keuchel.  But I know, I know, lambkins:  Dallas Keuchel will want actual money, whereas Gio Gonzalez we can pay off in box tops and use beanies.

(What's that, lambkins?  You want to know why it is, if Coops Cashman does not believe in left-handers he may now have four of them in his rotation?  Shhh, lambkins, time for beddy-by.)




1 comment:

Anonymous said...

HE MAY BE A LITTLE BETTER THAN JAIME GARCIA...

...BUT NOT MUCH.

I SMELL A 3 2/3RD - 4 INNING PITCHER...5 TOPS.

3 TO 4 EARNED RUNS PER START. (WAIT, THAT WAS JAIME GARCIA, RIGHT)?

SHIT....HE'S GONNA SUCK.