Around beddy-bye time last night, I saw "Chris Sale" trending on Twitter. Shit, I thought, he's throwing a no-no. Then, to my delight, I finagled my cursor into place and clicked. Joy! Bliss! Mariano!
Three innings. Seven runs. Three bombs. Against Seattle, this year's AL West tanker truck. Then the bullpen conga line. A 12-4 loss. Errors by Nunnie and Fatso Devers.
Ahhhh, Calgon Bath Beads, take me away...!
Listen: It's a long year, the world has gone nuts, my lumbago is still acting up, and the history of opening day is littered with unforgettable performances by forgettable players, and verse-visa. I'm old enough to recall Jim Hunter getting slapped around in his opener, and Frank Messier saying, "Well, Scooter, this is a rather inauspicious debut for Catfish," and neither Phil nor I knew what the hell he meant.
If I were a big-spending Redsock fan today, I'd assure myself that Sale will be fine, that by August 1, his ERA will be around 2.00, and it will reflect the ton of scoreless innings he'll throw to compensate for last night. Yep, that's what I would say. Boston lost, and the Yankees won. No big deal.
Unless it is a big deal. If so, then the big-spending Redsocks are about to learn how hard it is to repeat, even if they spend more than any other team.
Meanwhile, if the Yankees don't win 5 of 6 against these sorry, ridiculous Orioles, we should do what the Mets do to crack down on players: Force them to spend a day in Syracuse. Good grief, I knew Baltimore was tanking this year, when three weeks ago, in a spring training game, I couldn't recognize one player. But I hadn't anticipated this: Two Rule 5 players, (shades of Charlie Sands and Frank Tepedino), including one starting at SS, and a pitching staff that will use a Tampa-style "opener" by the second game of the season. Wow. They lost 115 games last year, and now they're gunning for 120.
Yesterday was wonderful. We got ahead early, sat on them and ate ice cream under the sun. Even Greg Bird escaped from a rotten 3-K day - and potential fan abuse - by hitting a HR. All systems go. We looked like the fully functioning Death Star that Cashman once described. We need 5 out of 6 against Baltimore. Anything less, and we're not trying.
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12 comments:
ONLY DOWNER?
METS WON.
BTW....THE NATS LINEUP LOOKED WEAK WITHOUT BRYCE.
I KNOW THEY WERE FACING DEGROM, BUT WATCH FOR OFFENSIVE PROBLEMS FROM THIS TEAM.
NO PUNCH.
GREAT START FROM US.
STILL DON'T LIKE STANTON HITTING ANYWHERE ABOVE 6TH IN THE ORDER. (BUT IT PROBABLY WILL NEVER CHANGE, LIKE WITH AROD).
MUCH BETTER AT-BATS FROM SANCHO.
ANDUJAR AND LUKE PICKED UP WHERE THEY LEFT OFF. BOTH HIT THE BALL HARD YESTERDAY.
JUDGE LOOKS GREAT.
SO DOES TANAKA.
I NEVER ASK FOR A SWEEP AGAINST ANYONE, BECAUSE WITH US IT IS NEVER REALISTIC, BUT I FEEL LIKE WE NEED A SWEEP HERE, BECAUSE THE RED SOX WILL BEAT THE ORIOLES 17 OUT OF 19.
WE CAN'T BE THROWING AWAY GAMES AGAINST THIS ORIOLES TEAM.
DETEST THE OFF DAY TODAY.
Agree thoroughly, ALL-CAPS. I wish we were playing today, too. And if I were an Orioles fan I'd be outraged. What a disgrace, and how can they still have Cgris Davis on that tea, after his .168 2018 season?
I would also be enraged as a Mets fan. Last year, they might well have won a pennant if they had just signed the Kansa City Trio—Caine, Hosmer, oustakas—for relatively little money. Had they added Bryce along with Robbie C., they'd be an NL juggernaut just now.
But like almost all NYC owners, the Wilpons have other priorities.
It's too bad—for us. A Mets team that was really trying to take the town away from us is maybe the one thing that would get Zeig Hal to try.
I don't care if they rip off 23 consecutive wins, although I would obviously be happy to see that. EVEN if they blow past my prediction of 87 for the season, I'm STILL going to stick with 87. They can anything they want and I reserve the right to be a negative, naysaying bastart - who does love the Yankees, just not the ownership, management, or coaching. UNTIL THEY BRING HOME A RING, I am choosing to be a dark-hearted asshole. I will not get sucked into bullshit again. HEY, this was the off-season where they promised to spend, and spend they did. They just spent own a bunch of assholes who are past their prime. Yes, it's impressive that we beat such a contender as Baltimore, but I'm not convinced yet, my boys. It's a long season. Okay, I have to go. Suzyn is in the other room, tied to a bondage rack. She insisted on coming over after the broadcast. The Master dropped her off and told me to whip her into shape.
On Donder! On Blitzen!
Hello, my subjects! This is @TheRealHalSteinbrenner and I am here to say "I told you so. Complete vindication. There was no collusion among owners. Our off-season spending binge has clearly yielded fantastic results. We have even wiped down the hot dog machines. Now, I command you all to go and buy tickets."
More later.
I agree with everyone and expect 13bit to post video on the dark web.
First, please excuse my egregious typos in the previous posts. I type fast, don't proof, then am filled with regrets, but I never change my behavior. This is why I don't deserve nice things, like a good Yankee owner.
Second, I have been permanently banned from the dark web, JM. I'm going to have to start my own YouTube channel with Suzyn videos where I have pixellated her face out of it. Still, I'll leave her inimitable voice, audibly screaming "I will do anything for THE MASTER, please save me, John. Please save me. I'll see you at game time, same bat channel, same bad Yankee hot dog. Get ready to call the game, Big Boy."
I'm going to make a fortune with this, I just know it. Anyway, I have to go do my pre-game preparation. I'm going to pretend it's a colonoscopy and fast for 24 hours, then blow it out and pass out, just as the game starts. See you all on the other side, my amigos.
Rip the Red Sox all you want, but why direct your venom at the UNDEFEATED Seattle Mariners. Even Mustang thinks they look like a contender.
It's true. I forgot one grade: Seattle: A+.
13bit, I think we need to start, "The Darker Web." It's so dark, nobody can see it.
Meanwhile, I thoroughly agree about the integrity of pessimism. Don't believe the hype!
If this Yankees team is, somehow, a fully loaded Death Star—and what IS the juvenile obsession this organization has with those movies?—then their will be plenty of time for us to stand up and eat crow like a man. But I'm not optimistic about that!
If the Yankees win the Series, I will eat crow so happily you'd think it was my only passion. I have no problem with that. Let's see what happens. I have a memory of some of the greatest seasons starting with losses. This is nice. This was a win. This also means next to nothing. It's a long season. Now, excuse me, I have to go change the memory card in my camera before Suzyn complains again.
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