Mike Tauchman...
Who is Mike Tauchman? I looked him up. He's 28, a LH outfielder, 6'2", from Palatine, Illinois, with an MLB career batting average of .153... (in Colorado, no less.) This spring, over 46 at bats, he's hit .196 with no HRs and one stolen base (out of three tries.) Thirteen strikeouts. To get him, we traded Philip Diehl, 24-year-old non-roster spring training-invitee who seemed lost in a scrum of bull pen lugnuts.
Mike Tauchman...
Here's the punch line: On opening day, he will probably start in CF for the New York Yankees. Last year, it took five months for the team to be reduced to playing Shane Robinson in RF. This year, we'll be there on April 1.
Mike Tauchman...
Listen: Maybe he'll prove to be a gem. Baseball is full of late-bloomers. Maybe he'll be another Luke Voit (assuming Voit is for real; we still don't know.) Maybe he simply needs one more chance. Every now and then, Brian Cashman combs the scrap yard and finds some usable copper pipe. Maybe Tauchman can be the next Ronald Torreyes.
Yesterday, the Yankees spun some isolated stat that I've never heard of before - power/contact - saying Tauchman's 2018 season at Triple A makes them think he can hit. (For the record, he batted .320 with 20 HRs at Albuquerque.) Well, let's hope.
Still, when things like Mike Tauchman happen, I get rattled. I can't escape the sense that, thus far, nearly everything that can go wrong has happened to the 2019 Yankees, and we haven't yet played a game.
I have flashbacks to the spring of 2013, when on practically the first pitch of the grapefruit season, Curtis Granderson suffered a broken forearm - and from there, things went downhill. That was the year of Lyle Overbay, Vernon Wells and Travis Hafner - aka Pronk - with the Empire finishing third in the AL East, so horrible a season that, in retrospect, it was malpractice by Cashman not to tank the team in July, as Boston did repeatedly in that time frame. (And Boston won the 2013 World Series.)
Could this be "one of those years?" Aaron Hicks is now an Official Concern. He'll miss a month - (at least) - over an injury that was supposed to last a weekend. Do we really expect Luis Severino in mid-May? Or CC Sabathia at all?
At this stage, the Troy Tulowitzki of 2019 has far more in common with the Vernon Wells of 2013... than with Didi Gregorius.
So there it is: Until further notice, Mike Tauchman is starting CF for the New York Yankees. Can you hear Bleacher Roll Call? Will they even know how to pronounce it? Mike Tauchman... I need another drink. But not of water.
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At this point, the Yankees need an exorcism.
Didn't we used to have some good, promising outfielders? Last year about this time or so...it's a fading memory...so many we could trade them away with a smile on our faces...
Cashman. What a genius.
Another idiotic deal by Cashman.
Boone said that he thought that Diehl would in the near future be a serviceable left-handed MLB reliever. Look, the kid only pitched mostly in A ball plus a stint with Trenton. Do the Yankees really have that many promising lefty reliever prospects? He did strike out 17 batters in 11 innings so there is, as Boone mentioned, potential. It's not that they traded him but it's who they traded him for. Shane Robinson, Jr. Why pick up a crappy player and put him on the roster for a short term when you already have Frazier who has a much bigger upside.
It just makes no goddamn sense!
If the Yankees judge Mike Tauchaan, with his track record, to be ahead of the formerly described, " Red Thunder," then that young prospect is now old manure.
MR. DUQUE....
I HAD NO IDEA ABOUT THIS DEAL, AND I'M HORRIFIED AND STUNNED.
NOW, RAGE IS SETTLING IN....
24 YEAR OLD LEFTY PHIL DIEHL HAD GREAT NUMBERS IN THE MINORS LAST YEAR, AND EVEN DID EXCELLENT IN SPRING TRAINING THIS YEAR EXCEPT FOR MAYBE 1 OUTING.
HE HAS GOOD CONTROL, AND STRIKES OUT MORE BATTERS THAN INNINGS PITCHED, (A TRAIT COOP USUALLY LOVES).
HE WAS EVEN GETTING RIGHT HANDED HITTERS OUT! (STRIKING THEM OUT TOO)!
NOW, COOP, ACTING LIKE THE GREAT KARNACK, THROWS HIM AWAY ON AWAY ON A WHIM....A HUNCH....AN EXPERIMENT....A JOKE.
THIS IS WHAT I KEEP TALKING ABOUT!
HAL HAS ENTRUSTED THE GREAT NEW YORK YANKEE FRANCHISE TO THIS ONE MAN (COOP), WHO HAS NO GRASP, KNOWLEDGE, OR SUCCESS WITH HIS TRACK RECORD ON PITCHING.
FROM THE GREAT CARL PAVANO, TO JAVIER VASQUEZ (TWICE), TO JAIME GARCIA, TO GIO GONZALEZ.
HIS PITCHING DECISIONS AND DEALS, SUCK!!!
HIS FREE AGENT PITCHING PICK UPS USUALLY SUCK! (INCLUDING THE LATEST).
I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE WE THREW THIS KID AWAY!
I'M ALL COOP'ED OUT.
I HAVE HAD IT.
All-CAPS, ALL-CAPS, ALL-CAPS...Didn't you read that Klapisch book excerpt?
Coops is a genius. He said so himself, repeatedly. And, he made sure to tell us what a jerk Derek Jeter is, and how he scalped him in that Giancarlo Stanton deal, and how everybody in the Marlins' front office was just BEGGING to come work for Coops instead.
Huh, funny how that worked out. We ended up with the guy who was swinging at pitches in the dirt in the last inning of last season.
Jeter ended up with Gary Denbo, the guy who finally built Coops the farm system he could never get together.
Right, Brian Cashman the guy who's daddy got him a job with the Yankees and who has never won a pennant with his own team in 23 years of trying, is smarter than Derek Jeter, the African American kid who worked his way up from Kalamazoo to become one of the greatest players in the sport, marry a supermodel, and take over a major-league team.
Could be, if you are REALLY a genius GM—as opposed to just a genius office politician and bullshitter—you DON'T brag publicly about someone you took in a deal, thinking maybe you'll get to take him again. Could be.
I will bet even money that Jetes has another ring before Coops does.
The Yankees are the new Venezuela.
This deal highlights the tragedy that has befallen Clint Frazier.
Hearing our pleas, Cashman has finally acquired a left-handed batter!
Cashman is an asshole. End of story.
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