Hicks still unable to practice

I hereby nominate Aaron Hicks' "Back Soon Back" for Yankee Crapola Spin of the Year. It competes against Hal Steinbrenner's hilarious performance in "Why We Didn't Sign Manny or Bryce," Brian Cashman's gripping biopic portrayal of "Syd Thrift," and Larry "House of" Rothschild in "50 Shades of Sonny Gray."  

In case you missed it, here's the latest on Hicksy: 

Nothing. Keep moving. There's nothing to see. Move on, everybody. Go about your business. Git.

Remember when Hicks was supposed to miss a weekend? Then it became a week. Then he'd be back by opening day. Then he'd miss opening day, be back for the second series. Now it's Opening Day Eve, he's twice gone to the needle, he has yet to resume "baseball activities," and until further notice, somebody named Mike Tauchman is our centerfielder. 

Remember that circular batting order that was going to feature Brett Gardner hitting ninth, with dangerous hitters down the line? Well, as best as I can figure, here's what tomorrow will look like against the famous Baltimore future Hall of Famer, right-hander Andrew Cashner. 

Gardy LF
Judge RF
Stanton DH
Voit 1B
Andujar 3B
Sanchez C
Torres 2B
Tulo SS
Tauchman CF 

(Note: It's possible that Bird will DH, Gardy will play CF, and Stanton will be in LF, thereby hiding Tauchman from public scrutiny on the opener. But until Hicks returns, this lineup will see a lot of games.)

Look closely, and you'll notice three batters in succession - Tulo, Talkman, and Gardy - who haven't hit a lick in over a year. And let's take this moment to remember that Gary Sanchez failed to achieve the magical .200 mark last year, and that DJ LeMahiue will occasionally spell Torres or Andujar. That could present a five-bat dead zone at the bottom trench of the lineup.

Listen: It's a long season. Injuries happen. Lineups happen. Tomorrow, we start 10 games against Baltimore and Detroit, two teams that would have trouble winning at Triple A. Anything less than 7 wins out of 10 will be a disappointment. (Which, by the way, is a worrisome trap; tomato cans are much easier to beat in late April or May, when the full magnitude of their disastrous years is becoming clear.) If we win, say, 5 out of 10, those are gimme games we won't get back later in the season.

I don't know when Hicks will return, but it's reasonable to suspect he is in the throes of "an off year." Let's hope Tauchman is another Luke Voit (while we hope Luke Voit is another Luke Voit.) And I find myself still looking - and hoping- to Scranton, where Clint Frazier will start the long road back. Red Thunder... Dude... if you're reading this, we need you.