Cairo, Egypt _ Eighteen months after his breakup and divorce from Kevin Federline, Osama bin Laden plans to release a new video in the coming days, according to his publicist.
This would be the first new performance from the terror mastermind in nearly three years, al-Qaida's media arm announced Thursday.
According to sources, the video is set to the music of the 1980s band, A-Ha.
In it, Laden and his girlfriend (18-year-old Vanessa Hudgens, from "High School Musical") become trapped in a comicbook-panel world, from which they can only escape by bombing the White House.
Friday, September 7, 2007
Yankee Breaking News: Bin Laden Planning Comeback Video
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Dateline: Islamabad ( yesterday ):
There is a story going around the major mosques that,according to a soon to be released FOX news poll, most Americans ( 83% ) would favor Bin Laden as President over Bush.
"That is a whopping number," said Bin gleefully.
Ths poll results mostly reflect the wavering confidence of the Red states in the policies of the White House with respect to ,well, everything.
It is said that Bin Laden, as President, would introduce both a universal health care program as well as baseball to the Middle East.
" Baseball will be berry berry good for us, " saith the bearded one.
"It is not true," he added, " that Carl Pavano, Drew Henson and Brien Taylor have already had tryouts."
According to unnamed sources in a Kirachi prison for the criminally insane, Bin Laden will be wearing (in the new video)a stylish new, lead-based fabric from China which both keeps the sand off his knee brace, and keeps him immune from the radiation of the WMDs he sleeps with in the cave.
Since President Bush once ran a baseball team of his own ( though, unlike his Dad, he was not good enough to play the game), my personal opinion is that this baseball opening could be the pillar upon which the Bush family and Bin Laden families further solidify their close personal connections.
Good day, America.
- Rush Limbaugh
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