Last night brought the first barf-see TV event of 2011.
I tuned in late: The Rays had a 10-run lead over Boston, Dice Kei Matsusaka had barely lasted 2 innings, and Tim Wakefield was throwing straight to the backstop, without catcher Saltymatsusaka even touching the ball. Tampa players jogged from base to base, and the announcers -- didn't catch their names - weren't bothering to discuss the game.
They just kicked the ragged-ass carcass of the former Manny Ramirez.
A stupid man, they said. A stupid, stupid, stupid man. A mean-spirited, stupid man who once punched that beloved traveling secretary. By testing positive for illegal drugs, Manny has embarrassed himself and the game of baseball, which today - thankfully, they said - is controlling those substances. Manny in the Hall? Pttuii. He's a stupid, stupid, awful, terrible, bad, stupid man. Never shalt he be allowedeth in such a sacred placeth.
Same crapola as Joe Buck and Tim McCarver delivered over the weekend.
Until listening to these these pompass gasbags bloviate.. I would have agreed.
Now, fukkit. Put him in the hall.
I'm tired of these post-career morality tests for ex-stars, administered by the courtiers who spent their careers inflating those larger-than-life personas -- and always managing to look the other way.
Baseball has a huge crisis on its hands because of its deal with Mephistophiles, brokered in the late 1990s, when it sought to restore market share following the 1994 players striike (which was caused by small market owners - billionaires, pretending to be millionaires - trying to force a salary cap.) The staggering home run totals of McGwire, Sosa, Bonds, et al, ginned up sagging popularity, especially in the National League, where the quality of play had deteriorated so far beneath the American League that franchises had nothing else to sell.
Now, these moral giants want to throw an invisibility cloak over the entire era, just pretend it didn't happen. They want to go back to the Roger Maris gold standard, to before A-Rod and Manny and a whole generation that didn't get caught -- and where were they when it was happening? The answer: They were on the vanguard of promoting the sport.
Listen: Great baseball hitters have always been cheats, drunkards, bums and bastards. Ty Cobb was pure evil. Babe Ruth was a glutton. Mickey Mantle was a drunk, Ted Williams hit on every woman who walked in the clubhouse, Wade Boggs was a sex addict, Pete Rose gambled, Maury Wills did coke, Canseco - what didn't he do. Billy Martin, he punched out TWO traveling secretaries... TWO! His number is retired.
Listen: These all-time greats were stupid men. Stupid, stupid men. But they were all-time greats. They were beloved, warts and all.
I would love to see these holier-than-thou announcers put to the same level of life magnification that A-Rod gets. Maybe Las Vegas should open a second wing of the Hall... the modern extension. The Charlie Sheen Wing.
Hello, Roger? Hello, Raphael? Hello, Manny? Cooperstown doesn't want you; they're too pious to be in your presence. Maybe somebody else will take you.
PUT MANNY IN THE HALL!
ANOTHER REDSOCK IN COOPERSTOWN!
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8 comments:
In all my years as a Yankees fan (35 or so, but who's counting), I've probably never rooted harder for a Red Sawk to fail than Manny Ramirez. Except, on occasion, Big Papi Ortiz. But there's no denying that the guy was a hell of a player. I wish I'd become a respected and well-known baseball writer, in addition to all the other obvious reasons for doing so, so I could cast my vote to put Manny in the Hall.
Ortiz juiced, too, but you'll never hear the holier than thou commentators ever even hint that he should never get Hall consideration. Why? Because he's a nice guy, a family man, and not an absolute flake and part-time sociopath like Manny.
And for Pete's sake (not the former LoHud guy who is now a turncoat Red Sox apologist), put Pete Rose in already. That omission is just stupid, stupid, terrible and evil.
I met Pete Rose in an airport yeasrs ago (just after the fenway incident with fork face)
He was the nicest guy, talking to fans who were really annoying, and signing autographs, when it was obvious some huckster sent his kid to get one.
Really shocked me. I expected the jerk I read about in the papers.
Both he and shoeless Joe should be in.
@Rufus T. Firefly
Your comment deserves a round of applause.
Pete Rose bet on his own team's games, lied about it, then lied about lying about it for years, until he tried to make money by "writing" a book in which he admitted that he lied and lied about lying.
Hall of Fame?
Let's put him on freaking Mount Rushmore!
Look, under the legal separation of church and state, Cooperstown is allowed to pick and choose what kind of records it sanctifies. Players like Rose and Manny should, however, be eligible for a non-religious recognition of their status, with all the legal benefits pertaining thereto. Otherwise, we might as well declare sharia law, and kick the lot of them out for drinking.
Saying Pete Rose shouldn't be in the Hall (for the most hits of any player, ever, without juicing) because he bet on his own team (never to lose, though, which is interesting) and then lied about it is like saying Neil Armstrong shouldn't be in the NASA Hall of Fame because he was a chronic masturbator. It didn't make any difference in his performance and is only a mortal sin because of the moral holdover from the Black Sox scandal. And Shoeless should be in, too, as Rufus T. said. Jesus, what year is this, anyway? Is Mountain Landis going to come down and smite us with his mighty swordlike object?
If he bets on his team some of the time, isn't that going to influence how he manages the games he bets on compared to others?
And if he thought what he did wasn't wrong why did he lie about it even after he got suspended?
No matter what year it is, some things will always be "terrible and evil," like a manager betting on games and lying about it, but not masturbation, which as Woody famously said, is sex with someone I love.
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