This is nuts.
Do it, Yankees.
WTF are you waiting for? Make the move.
The call is simple. After 135 games, Alex Verdugo - our one-year-rental in LF - has simply failed. It doesn't matter that, last night, the guy fanned three times in three at-bats. Verdugo has floundered all season, including the Immortal Belly Flop against Baltimore, a moment that will forever define his brief stopover in the Bronx.
Make. The. Move.
Yes, the last time we saw the 21-year-old Dominguez was in that devastating loss in Williamsport, before a Pepsi generation of Little Leaguers, when he double-pumped on a fly ball and let the winning run score. Yeah, he blew it. And some will argue that the Yankees should play cheap, limiting The Martian's ABs to squeeze another year of contractual control over him.
That's what the Rays would do. Last I checked, we were still the Yankees, the top team in Tampa.
Bring. Him. Up.
Listen: I hate to bash Verdugo. I have Boston friends who wrongfully called him a clubhouse toxin, who suggested he'd self-immolate in NY, like a drummer in Spinal Tap. Didn't happen. He has proven to be a fine teammate, and - in fact - I think he will handle being benched, in part because a) he surely knows what a disappointment he has been and b) he has no choice.
Before last night, Verdugo had enjoyed a recent uptick. But the numbers don't lie: He's hitting .232 with just 11 HRs and an on base percentage below .300. Plus, there's the ridiculous excuse being troweled out on his behalf: He was allergic to - gulp - his batting gloves. Blow me. That's a Henry Cotto Ear Tampon level excuse. How do you get blisters hitting .232?
It's time for the Yankees to play an outfield for the ages: The Martian, Judge and Soto. Yeah, I'm diving face-first into the swimming pool of hype, and it's possible that there is no water. But we won't know whether Dominguez is truly an impact player until we throw him into the froth. It's time for him to sink or swim. And if he goes 0-for-25, there'd still be time for Verdugo to reappear in Act III. Crazier things have happened.
Sunday, the rosters expand. Folks, it's time for The Martian.
Juan Soto - the greatest young hitter in baseball - is 1 for his last 26 - mired in the first lengthy slump of his Yankee career. Tonight, when he steps to the plate, I suspect hope the fans will launch a resounding chant across the stadium, something to the effect of "PLEASE STAY... PLEASE STAY... PLEASE STAY."
And I sure hope he listens... not just for the sake of the Yankees, but for his immortal soul.
Soto is a two months away from the biggest decision of his life - whether to sign with the Yankees or whomever bids the most, like a prized heifer. If he chooses the latter, he will step into a future Yankiverse where he will forever be linked to one name.
In fact, instead of a loud chant, tonight the fans should greet Soto's presence by whispering that name, just loud enough to be heard.
Robbie Cano... Robbie Cano... Robbie Cano...
Yep. Somewhere out there, barely twinkling in the night sky, is the alt-universe where the Yankees in 2013 resigned Robbie - either by offering him another year, or convincing him to take less money. (Don't snicker: Aaron Judge made such a decision. So did Gerrit Cole. Think they regret it?)
Frankly, he's dead to us.
The record shows Joggy put up decent numbers for his first four years in Seattle - four meaningless years when the Mariners finished 3rd, 4th, 2nd, and 3rd in the AL West, while the Yankees competed (and failed) in postseasons - going through a raft of 2B replacements that included Brian Roberts, Stephen Drew and the cast of "Lost."
Add Cano to those Yankee lineups - that is, eliminate Starlin Castro, et al - and it's not hard to imagine a team getting that one extra hit that takes them to the world series, or maybe the Canyon of Heroes.
Add Cano to that roster, and it's not hard to imagine Giancarlo Stanton in 2018 remaining a Marlin, or maybe going to the Redsocks, because the Yankees didn't need another high end slugger.
Make Cano a lifelong Yankee, and it's not hard to imagine his plaque in Monument Park, or Cooperstown, two places I doubt he'll see in our lifetimes.
Nope, he loped off to Seattle so Jay-Z could launch his sports agency, which was gonna take America by storm. From there, Cano became the mercenary, a human dollar sign, always being judged by the money he was being paid.
For right or wrong - (and a certain billionaire owner also deserves a shit sandwich here ) - Cano walked away from the greatest career opportunity in American sports - to be a lifetime Yankee.
From there, he bounced like a football through the final stages of a desperate career, from drug suspensions to seasons below the Mendoza Line - with the Yankees never bringing him back, not even for catcalls.
And on this site, right or wrong, he shall forever be Joginson Cano.
Listen: Juan Soto is not facing an existential crisis, (as DJ, Verdugo, Holmes and Rodon are.) Yank fans have seen enough to recognize a great player, who the franchise absolutely must keep. If he accepts more money from another team - even the Mets - he will forever piss off the largest and most loyal fan base in baseball. In New York, that can translate into some extremely harsh media attention, especially in a pennant race when a guy is 1-for-his-last-26.
I truly hope that - for Soto's own soul - come Nov. 1, when the offers start coming, he concludes that money is not the only thing that matters. And I hope that Food Stamps Hal makes an offer equal to or better than anything else out there. Soto needs to wear a Yankee hat into the Hall of Fame. And tonight, as we chant PLEASE SIGN, there should a whispery echo of "Robbie Cano, doncha go..."
...just as the Yankees are at a loss for baseball skills.
Hence, I will resort to pictures: one Yankees dumpster hat for each consecutive loss.
So go the 2024 Yankees, a team destined to disappoint, if not humiliate - a team that raises hope and snuffs it out, right before our barely seeing eyes, a team that remains in first place because the competition is basically terrible.
Insert wretch here.
Three days ago, I ridiculously postulated that three games in DC against the 6th worst team in baseball would boost the Yankees like a BLV sandwich- that's bacon, lettuce and Viagra -and a chance to widen their lead over Baltimore as September arrived.
Well, shoot me.
I won't be spouting such nonsense again.
This we know about the '24 Yankees:
They play to the level of every opponent, regardless of talent or skills.
They have a second-baseman playing 3B, another second-baseman playing 1B, and their regular second-baseman should be a DH, if playing at all.
They feature a lineup of hitters who do not adjust their swings, depending upon a game situation. It doesn't matter if the moment absolutely requires that a ball be put into play. They just swing away, as always, untethered by the need.
Their bullpen can blow any lead, at any time, in any circumstance. The pitcher bombed today will go to Scranton tomorrow - and be back next week.
They might just squander the greatest season by a hitter in modern history. And this will be their second time.
They have allowed the contract issues of Juan Soto to fester into a distraction, if not a crisis, being mentioned on a daily basis - all because the owner, who has botched so many past deals, now regularly poormouths on the matter.
They entered August facing a schedule of cupcakes and tomato cans. They now stand at 14-and-13 for the month. They gained nothing.
Yep. Shoot me. Hopefully, I have learned my lesson.
(The photo above was taken in an actual, Soho dumpster a couple weeks ago. It seemed to me like a bad omen, somehow.)
Last night's non-effort against the Washington Nats included so many elements of what is wrong with this Yankees team—and what has been wrong for years now—that it was almost magnificent in its ineptitude.
Let's start at the top.
Nothing better exemplifies the inanity of Brian Cashman's vision for this Yankees team than its infield play last night.
Not only did Gleyber "Headless" Torres commit his league-leading, 15th error at second—matching his entire total from last year, with over a month of play still to go!—but at the same time, a perfectly able second baseman, Jazz Chisholm, committed his 6th error in 18 games at third base, a position he is trying to learn on the fly in the midst of a pennant race.
All while Oswaldo Cabrera, who has outhit and outfielded Torres this season, remains on the bench.
Or Chisholm could have been in the outfield, in place of Flopsie Vertigo (And am I the only one who thinks that Vertigo resembles Clint "The Red Menace" Frazier? Talk about omens!).
We have learned that Flopsie has an excuse, though: it seems that he was allergic to his batting gloves, which gave him blisters on his hands. Ah, yes, yet another unsolvable problem for the Yankees' crack medical team.
One can picture the day when Verdugo meets Joe DiMaggio or Ted Williams in hell, and they explain:
"Blisters, son? You're supposed to have blisters on your hand, from all the extra batting practice you take. Especially when you're hitting .223."
(No word yet if Flopsie's outfielder's glove was causing him to have hallucinations during that ninth inning in Baltimore.)
Then there was José Trevino, two years ago a Gold-Glove winner who led the AL in percentage of baserunners caught stealing, and who now can barely play his position or throw out anyone.
Think he's hurt, guys? Do tell us. And why again is it that 24-year-old Austin Wells can't start almost every game for a month, just as he's come into his own as a hitter?
Then there was our star, Flouncy Cole, in full flouncy mode, managing to give up not only .168-hitting Joey Gallo's 13th ribbie of the season, but also blasts to a pair of unknown rookies with 13 and 34 major-league games between them, respectively (if not respectably).
Then there was Patrick Corbin, the Nats' broken ace, who has gone 31-69 with a 5.60 ERA in the five seasons since he helped Washington to a World Series title...but 2-0, 2.30, in 5 starts against your New York Yankees (including shutting us down in the festive, IIHIIFII...C Stadium outing last year).
Think that might call for some extra videotape watching and counseling from our brilliant manager and coaches? Think they even talked about how Corbin serves up batting practice to the rest of the majors but can always get us out? Please don't be ridiculous.
Then there was Glassman Cantrun, managing a hit only when there was nobody on base, while going 0-2 when Judge was on...
ENOUGH! I'm depressing myself compiling this litany of listlessness.
You'll remember that many years ago, there was a documentary called, The Endless Summer, which followed a couple of beach bums as they went surfing around the planet. As we approach September, with all of a one-game lead, the Yankees continue to play as if they were in endless spring.
As if they were in a training camp that will never end, with somebody trying out this position, and somebody else resting up for the regular season, and nobody—nobody—on the team or in the dugout or above all the front office—nobody, save for our two superstars, one of them soon to be a Met...thinking or working, or trying all that hard.
You can call it baseball, if you want. But to me it looks as if we have the bums, and they're just looking for a beach.
In a heat-domed Scranton, Jasson Dominguez - aka "The Martian" - went 2 for 4 with a triple and a run. On the season - that's 47 games on three minor league levels levels - the 21-year-old OF is hitting .315 with 8 HRs and 14 SB. For the last five years, he has been the Yankees' most hyped prospect, the most publicized future star since - well - Jesus Montero, aka "The Ice Cream Sandwich."
Meanwhile, at Double A Somerset, 35-year-old Anthony Rizzo went 2 for 2 with a HR and an RBI. He's now 2 for 6 - hitting .333 - in a rehab assignment, following his second straight season of underachievement and breakability. He's been down so long that 2022, when he hit 32 HRs for the Yankees, seems like a dream.
At the MLB level, the Yankees last night served up Alex Verdugo and DJ LeMahieu, batting 8th and 9th respectively, in LF and 1B. Both went 1 for 4 and saw slight increases in their meager BAs. In the 9th, Verdugo singled to keep hopes alive. LeMahieu followed with a pop fly, crushing them.
On the season, Verdugo is hitting .223. LeMahieu boosted his average to the magical .200. Both are miles below their career numbers.
Listen: Nobody talks about the jailbreak... until the jailbreak.
Until it happens, the Yankees won't discuss benching either Verdugo or LeMahieu. But MLB rosters expand Sept. 1, and - holy shit, summer's over! That's this weekend.
If a change does come, it will accompany massive happy talk and dollops of praise, as the YES machine attempts to mask two brutal realities:
Both Verdugo and LeMahieu are facing existential career crises.
Verdugo is on the verge of being cut by his third MLB team - the Dodgers, Redsocks and now Yankees. His next stop, free agency, will likely plant him with a minor market somewhere in the Heartland, where everybody watches football, on a one-year deal to try and redeem his lost luster. You don't get many more chances, especially on baseball's largest stages.
At 36, LeMahieu seems to have simply run out of gas. The Yankees will pay him exorbitantly for two more years. But unless he starts hitting, his fine career is on borrowed time. You see it on his face in every at bat.
Tonight, the Yankees play the Nats in the rubber match of a three game set, while Baltimore battles the Dodgers. The Yankees cannot afford to lose ground, while playing one of MLB's worst teams.
Whatever happens, either the Yankees start getting production from the bottom or their batting order, or changes are coming.
Boston is on the verge of being bypassed by our hateful pals in Tampa - (still a game below .500.) Life is sweet when the Redsocks have lost five straight.
Other ruminations following last night's win over a lineup with not one name I'd ever heard before.
1. Yesterday, the Yankees signed Duke Ellis, who once pitched a no-hitter while on LSD off the scrap heap. Interesting. The guy can fly. This year, between Triple A and the White Sox, he's stolen 51 bases, been caught 4 times. Four. Keep in mind, those 51 bases came without Duke hitting a lick. He must run every time he gets on. Second and third.
Imagine him as our 10th inning "ghost" runner, and hey, maybe we'll win one. Could he be our post-season Dave Roberts? Way I see it, at worst, in a close game, this guy pinch running will terrorize the pitcher. I like this move.
2. Last night, nearly all our offense came from the bottom of the lineup. What a concept. If the Yankees get production from Volpe, Verdugo, Jazz and DJ - and add Austin Wells, one of the AL's most promising young catchers - and who knows? For the last month, you could feel pitchers exhale after getting through Soto/Judge/Stanton. If the bottom five can hit, there is no reason why we can't win this division.
Seriously. No wild card race. We must win the division and take home field advantage. That, or nothing.
3. Nasty Nestor Cortez pitched courageously last night, striking out three batters in the 6th with runners on second and third. He remains a streak pitcher and potential secret weapon in October. Nestor's shrinking ERA - 3.89 - ranks 22nd in the AL, just after Marcus Stroman (3.88) among qualifiers.
Nobody's gonna win the Cy Young this year. But with Clarke Schmidt returning - fingers crossed - we should be able to keep a fresh rotation through September.
4. Jittery moment last night when Anthony Volpe's head bonked into the shortstop's knee while stealing second. How could you NOT remember Anthony Rizzo's concussion last season, which still threatens his career.
Volpe is always outrunning his helmet, even on routine grounders. Last night, it almost cost him. This is one of those tidbits that make you say, WTF? For example, Verdugo's hands have been blistered because it turns out that he's allergic to his batting gloves. Are you kidding me? Really?
Why can't the Yankees fit Volpe with a helmet that sticks? Last night was a nice Yankee victory. If they had lost Volpe to a concussion, it could have been a travesty. WTF?
I shall do this because - as first and foremost, a truth-teller - I cannot speak about the Yankees in any other way.
One of the secrets to happiness is to appreciate when the cotton is tall, when your underwear fits and when - to put it bluntly - fucking life is fucking good.
Today, the Death Barge has a two-game lead in the loss column over Baltimore, whose predictions of dynasty may have been overblown. We can bemoan Clay Holmes, but O's fans must watch Craig Kimbrel - five years past his prime - who has six blown saves and an ERA approaching 4.00. All those last place finishes, all those number one picks, and they apparently forgot to draft a closer.
It is time to accept positives about the Yankees, regardless of the juju implications. We cannot live in fear. Come on, people, sing along: When you walk through the storm, hold your head up high, and don't be afraid of the dark. Climb every mountain, ford every stream. To dream the impossible dream, to fight the unbeatable foe...
Tonight, the Yankees could start pulling away in the AL East.
They play three games in DC against the Nats, the 6th worst team in baseball, if you care about wins and losses. Meanwhile, Baltimore plays the Dodgers in LA, one of those West Coast road trips from Hell. This is our week, our perfect moment, to create separation within the division.
(OF COURSE, WE KNOW WHAT'S REALLY GOING TO HAPPEN: WE'LL BE SWEPT, PAINFULLY SWEPT, WITH BLOW OUT LOSSES, MAYBE A HORROR SHOW BLOWN SAVE, AND WITH A KEY INJURY OR TWO. THIS IS WHAT THE MODERN YANKEES ALWAYS DO, YEAR AFTER YEAR, PLAY A TOMATO CAN AND LOSE. WHY WOULD WE EXPECT ANYTHING DIFFERENTLY?)
Forgive me. I instruct the jury to ignore that outburst. Back to the drunken, unbridled optimism...
We're at a crossroads. September is a week away. That could signal the end of the Alex Verdugo experiment. ight now, Verdugo has seven days to go on a Ruthian Judgeian hitting spree that forestalls the arrival of The Martian.
Yesterday, for Scranton, Jasson Dominguez went 2-4 with a double, his small sample BA now .305. Verdugo got two hits against the Rockies, and he homered earlier in the series. He's hitting .229 on the season - a lifetime .272 hitter who, at age 28, should be at his peak. It's been sad watching Verdugo struggle. It shows in his baby face, which seems to have aged by 20 years. But The Martian is coming, the Yankees have invested far too much in his to NOT clear his path, and when the rosters expand in September, he'll almost surely be taking Verdugo's place at the table.
Likewise, the Yankees will add pitchers to their bullpen, a crying need for the last month. Most notably, Clarke Schmidt should return, as a starter or reliever, whichever the Yankees most need. (Considering Will Warren's dismal start the other day - two balks in one inning - Schmidt is probably destined for the rotation.)
But the Yankees must do business in DC. A sweep would be nice. But just winning the series could improve their bulge over Baltimore. This is our time. We better not blow it.
All of these guys should be playing for the big team, imo. Slot Durbin at SS, maybe at least light a fire under Volpe's ass, maybe replace him. Vertigo should be benched. DJ, too.
I like Grisham and Rice but they just aren't good enough--in Rice's case, yet (I hope). Grisham was doing better when he played a lot more, but if they can't give him the games, forget it. And we have at least two bullpen guys who should be replaced, easy. Marinan, Manischewirz, Hammy, Effross, Burdi, Trivino, Kahnle, Gil might work as the bullpen. Maybe Weaver if they can give him a decent rest.
Aside from Schmidt, we're fucked for any replacement starters. There's Cole then throw the dice.
I assume everyone here is as smart as or smarter than me, so maybe there are better ideas. Fuck if I know.
Of course, aside from the guys coming back from injuries, we can't count on Cashman to do anything else. He'll bring up Jasson September 1st, but will he play much? Not if he looks like he did on Little League day. We may yet see Greg Allen.
Rehabbing (and not fast enough, but not too much longer for most):
Whenever the winds seem to gather behind us, something shifts beneath our feet, and it doesn't matter who we're playing. We lose. Often, horribly.
But neither can the O's pull away in the AL East. Yesterday, while we were crapping the bed, they won their second straight against Houston, formerly the hottest team in baseball.
It will probably go this way into the last week of September, when we host the O's for three games.
In the meantime, there are pressing matters.
1. Yesterday, the Yankees once again used practically their entire staff in a fumbling, stumbling loss. We don't have a bullpen guy who can throw four innings and save the staff. And it's getting worse.
After 56 innings pitched, Michael Tonkin is starting to look spent, and we're seeing why Mark Leiter Jr. was so easily available in a deadline trade. Right now, the Yankees have three relievers within Aaron Boone's circle of trust - Luke Weaver, Jake Cousins and Tommy Kahnle, with a flashing "X" over Clay Holmes. Everyone else is a crooked number, waiting to happen. And if somebody, anybody, emerges, it remains to be seen whether Boone will simply burn him out. Who pitches those last three innings against Baltimore? The answer, sadly: Whoever happens to have the hot hand.
2. Alex Verdugo homered yesterday. He sure needed it. Nobody has looked more lost, more agonized, more hapless. He's been so bad that the YES announcers had given up searching for hopeful signs - a good swing, a smart take, whatever. Of course, they beamed with joy over the HR, pronouncing it a hopeful sign!
Meanwhile, Jasson Dominguez went 0-4 at Scranton with a walk and a K. He's batting .298 in a very small sample size.
Left field is up for grabs. Someone - either Verdugo in the Bronx or The Martian at Biden Town - has got to start hitting. These grounders to 2B cannot go on. And if neither gets hot, the Yankees should consider shifting Oswaldo Cabrera into the outfield. Somewhere, somebody has to fill that dead zone, which is keeping the Yankees from having the best outfield in baseball.
Hate to even bring up his name on this Yankees holy day—first Old Timers' Day, July 4th, 1939, to celebrate/commemorate Lou Gehrig—but why is Flopsie Vertigo still in the starting lineup?
After a decent hitting start to this season—in a park where, no doubt, Brian Cashman figured that he would be just boffo as a lefty, no need for that pricey Cody Bellinger—Flopsie looked about to break out, following his big night in Boston on June 14th. That evening he homered, doubled, and drove in 4 runs, upping his average on the season to .266.
Not exactly world beating—even for Verdugo's constantly disappointing career—but enough.
After that...it all went south.
Flopsie's average has dropped 40 points in the 54 game since. In that whole time—with Aaron Judge and Juan Soto ahead of him in the lineup—he's had 38 hits, including just 1 home run and 12 RBI, and 30 strikeouts. This is almost a clinic in non-clutch hitting—or non-hitting in general.
Why is this so?
Hey, maybe it's just a slump. Maybe Vertigo is worn down tending to the child that he and his wife just had. That might just account for why he's so bad at home—a nauseating .208/.275/.310, as opposed to a merely miserable, .243/.300/.391 on the road.
Hey, it happens. Should we castigate Flopsie for just being a caring dad??? (Maybe fatigue also accounts for his vertigo in the outfield in The Game That Shall Live in Infamy against Baltimore.)
But then there's this: even in the throes of his month-and-a-half batting and fielding slump, Verdugo has still kept playing relatively well against the Red Sox.
In his 9 games against Boston this year, he's hit .310, with an .850 OPS. What's more, against the OTHER former team with whom he flopped, the Dodgers, Verdugo batted .357 with an .857 OPS.
The evidence seems to suggest, as with so many of your New York Yankees this year, that when Alex Verdugo is motivated, he can play very well—and that he only gets motivated when he feels like it.
Why the devil this guy should play another inning for us, save as a pinch-runner, pinch-hitter, or late-game leg-saver when we have Jasson Dominguez available, is beyond me.
Must I remind you of The First and Greatest Rule of Juju, which states:
Nothing is ever gained by speaking positively about your team.
Always, always, always... be sour and dour. Don't be afraid to kick the puppy. That way, if they lose, you were right all along. If they win, bravo! your surgically administered reverse juju worked.
That said, here are some facts that pose a grave danger to our vast and impenetrable Midnight Blue Curtain of Gloom.
The Yankees currently have:
1. The best record in the American League, and in the AL East.
2. The best player in all of baseball.
3. The best hitting duo in all of baseball.
4. A clear path for their best prospect. (The Martian went 2-5 last night for Scranton, with a HR and a double. Meanwhile, Verdugo is now down to .226. It won't be long.)
5. Five straight games against two certified tomato cans. (After Colorado and DC, the Cardinals, Rangers and Cubs.)
6. A staff soon to be fortified by the return of their best pitcher throughout the spring. (Clarke Schmidt threw 3 innings last night at Double A. He gave up one run.)
7. A stable lineup with their preferred starters at the corners. (Jazz Chisholm played last night; Anthony Rizzo rehabbed at Double A.)
8. The possibility that Giancarlo Stanton is heating up. (HR last night.)
9. That worrisome wort on your butt is starting to shrink.
10. The UFOs watching us from their ocean bottom base are Yank fans.
Okay, the last two are traps. I was testing you. Hopefully, you caught them. And most importantly, now is not the time to let up with our unwavering load of misery. Abandon hope, everybody. I'm absolutely sure they'll lose today. (Game time 2:05 p.m.)
Not about Boone, not about Cashman, not about Hal - not about any of the wonk kewpies who run this organization, this ongoing mess, which rules our days and nights.
Today, the Yankees have the 2nd best record in all of baseball.
They lead the AL East by two games in the loss column.
If the season ended now, they would enjoy the home field advantage through the ALCS.
So, why are we so squeamish, so terrified, so defeatist, when we peer into the road ahead?
Well, it's simple.
The Yankees are a two-man team that can be pitched around, and they cannot close a tight game.
Every one of us knows that opposing teams seldom pay a price for walking Judge. And we all dread taking a one-run lead into the 9th, because we know that, at any moment, even with two outs and nobody on base, the switch can get flipped, and the season can fly out the window.
It's a reality that Yank fans have lived for the last five years, ever since Aroldis Chapman transitioned from baseball's most intimidating closer into a sweat-dripping turnstile who raised the hopes of every team we faced.
We have gone through closer after closer, but we have never replaced Mariano Rivera, and we probably never will. (The same can be said of Jeter. Despite all our efforts, and all our hypes, replacements always fall short.)
Over the last three days, the Yankees beat one of MLB's best teams, 2-1, in a three-game series. Twice, behind Judge and Soto, we bashed in their miserable skulls. But in that one excruciating loss, every gremlin in the box escaped, as the Yankees could neither score a runner or hold the lead.
So, here we are - sitting uneasily in the rarified air of 1st, behind the Dodgers, a team that has outspent us by $17 million this year, according to Cot's Baseball Contracts. (The Mets lead all of baseball in spending, at $338 million; that's $35 million higher than the Yankee payroll.) Realistically, we should not complain.
But each of us knows the massive flaw in the center of this roster. Eventually, it will be the end game for 2024. It is the reason why this team has so much trouble against tomato cans. It's the reason we will fail in October.
If Judge and Soto don't hit, the team won't score.
And God help us if the bullpen must hold a lead.
We should enjoy this moment. We are the best team in the AL, on paper, for now. Trouble is, it just feels so fragile, so tenuous and, most troubling... so temporary.
86-year-old John Sterling may come out of retirement to call the New York Yankees postseason, according to sources briefed on WFAN, the Yankees and Sterling’s plans.
— The Athletic (@TheAthletic) August 22, 2024
“The ball is in their court."@AndrewMarchand has more ⤵️https://t.co/C1JuC7VlQZ
They scored eight runs, all from the bats of Juan Soto and Aaron Judge. The rest of the team? Well, it showed up. Not much else.
That might turn out to be how we remember 2024 - the year when the Yankees brought forth the greatest slugging twosome since Mantle and Maris, and surrounded them with a lineup of Mario Mendozas.
Today, two questions haunt the Yankiverse:
1. Who in hell can pitch the ninth inning of a close game? (The answer, my friends, is blowing games in the wind, the answer is blowing games in the wind.)
2. What batter in this otherwise dead lineup, aside from Soto and Judge, can contribute through the season's final month?
In simple terms, is there hope somewhere in that dugout, beyond waiting for Judge and Soto to hit home runs? Honestly, I dunno. But here is what I consider our best shots, as September closes in.
1. Jazz Chisholm. He might return next week. Depends on whether he does a minor league rehab. Over the last two weeks, before he sprained his elbow, he was hitting .333. Not sure if he'll be compromised by the elbow, but he's our best bet.
2. Oswaldo Cabrera, hitting LH (which is becoming sort of a problem.) Over the last two weeks, he's hitting .346 - 8 for 23, and that doesn't take into account a bunch of line drives that were caught. Do we dare dream that Cabrera is finally becoming a MLB hitter, the one we imagined during his days in Scranton? What's sad is that he seems to be lost in the shuffle, as Boone shows loyalty to Anthony Volpe, Gleyber Torres and DJ LeMahieu. Oswaldo needs more chances.
3. Austin Wells. Another lefty. (Get it? We are top-heavy from that side.) More and more, Wells looks like the Yankee Offensive Game Instigator - the YOGI, our catching hope for the future. He's hitting .302 over the last two weeks, and - at times - he actually seemed to be protecting Judge. Considering Jose Trevino's problems throwing to second, it's hard to not see Wells catching full time in the post season.
4. Giancarlo. A pity placement. The guy isn't showing a damn thing - .232 over the last two weeks - but he's the consummate streak hitter, and one of these days, he'll get hot. The streak will last maybe two weeks, and then the coachman will revert back into a mouse. Caveat: He still can't run, which makes him a singles hitter on balls off the wall.
5. Volpe and Gleyber. Both have flirted with hot streaks, only to turn cold. Their statutes of limitations are both running out. Torres will be gone at the end of the year. Volpe's time as The Next Jeter is almost over. If Oswald Peraza starts hitting, if the toe-tap thing is real, either of these guys could disappear.
6. Anthony Rizzo/Ben Rice. Both are sketchy, rolls of the dice. Rizzo will get a shot at returning. Trouble is, he wasn't busting down walls before he got hurt. Rice simply should not be here. He's a legitimate prospect, who should be playing at Triple A. It's ridiculous to see him sitting the bench.
7. Your name here. Can your grandmother swing a bat? There's that mite, Caleb Durbin down at Scranton, and the Martian is still out there. He went 2-3, and the next day was playing in the Little League World Series, where he sorta shat the bed. If Jasson Dominguez gets hot, shows anything...
8. Alex Verdugo. Folks, it's time to start thinking the Redsocks weren't so dumb after all. (They were right on Benintendi, too. And Youkilis. And - gulp - Ellsbury.) The pitchers of MLB seem to have figured out Verdugo. It looks like he'll never be the star we sought.
9. DJ LeMahieu. This is sad, because he's a great clubhouse presence, and he was on the path to becoming a great Yankee. But damn, this isn't working. The guy is a GIDP waiting to happen, and his fielding has been corrupted. A few weeks ago, he had a nice couple of days. We hoped he was back. It was a false positive. He's 8 for 38 - .211 - over the last two weeks. He's 36. There really isn't much cause for hope, beyond the Biden solution.
 |
| Dugy's Belly Flop is still number one |
If last night were a snack, it would be Pork Rinds.
If last night were a line of poetry, it would be, "I think that I shall never see, a poem lovely as a tree."
If last night were an SNL episode, it would be hosted by Steven Seagal.
But but BUT... Last night hardly qualifies as the worst loss of this absolutely gruesome 2024 season.
Sorry, gloom lovers, but that ignominious designation, which deserves a ceremonial urinal in Monument Park, came on the last day before the all-star break, when Anthony Volpe booted a game-ending grounder, followed by Alex Verdugo's belly flop in left field, a moment that will forever define his year as a Yankee, in a soul-crushing loss to Baltimore.
In another season, for another franchise, last night's loss - on fucking John Sterling Night, no less; are they trying to kill him?- could foster a case of P.T.S.D. that would last a decade, but on this Yankees Roster of the Damned, it was just another blown game, a mosquito bite of anxiety that shall be forgotten by the weekend, when this Yankee team delivers its next out-of-body defeat.
To modern generations, the Yankees are not the team of 27 World Championships. They are the team that always shits the bed.
That said, last night was a middling Yankee disgrace, despite some memorable moments of true malfeasance.
1. Trent Grishman slowing as he rounded third, enroute to being thrown out at home. Maybe the guy is just slow, but dashing for home, he didn't seem much faster than Giancarlo, whom he replaced. It's hard to not be much faster than Giancarlo. I doubt your grandmother can do it, but Grisham did.
2. A six-run Cleveland 12th, highlighted by a bad call on a third strike, which soon led to a bases-clearing fly ball that future Met Juan Soto misplayed. I don't want to lay this on Soto, but his route to the ball might as well have taken a detour to Jersey City.
3. A Batman cameo by the entire Yankee bullpen, meaning today the Scranton bus shuffle will run nonstop, full of pitchers whose names we may have never heard before. It will be like one of those Bar Rescue TV shows, where they rip out the paneling and remake a tavern overnight, except instead of liquor, they will only serve only Mad Dog 20-20. Is Scott Proctor still available?
5. DJ LeMahieu failing to step on 1B on a DP grounder. It was a tough play, but the kind he used to make, back in his early 30s. Right now, he's certifiably awful. Last night, he went 0-for-five, seemingly coming up every time with the game on the line - and producing nothing. Listen: LeMahieu is a fine human being, formerly a great future Yankee. But the look on his face is proof that he knows how bad he is.
6. The Yankees going 1-16 with runners in scoring position. Incredibly frustrating. A master class in embarrassment, of course, commemorated by Aaron Judge being intentionally walked, with no ensuing payback by the Yankees.
7. Alex Verdugo going 0-6 and botching a foul pop fly (along with Oswaldo Cabrera) down the left field line. It should have been caught. But look at it this way: Doogie didn't face-plant. So, just another loss. Didn't hurt a bit. Thank you, sir, may I have another? Whap. Thank you, sir, may I have another? Whap. Thank you, sir, may I have another...?
He is trapped, metaphorically. In a box from which he cannot escape. All his assets pretty much garbage.
The NFL Giants of 2024 are in a similar box. The most important position on the team ( quarterback) has three candidates and each one spells disaster. There is little ( read that as "nothing") they can do to remedy the situation. They can't make a trade. They have no one in the farm system ( practice squad). And the clock is ticking.
The Yankees are in a similar situation. A key position on the team is " closer." He assures victory in the close games, where your offense is meager. Our closer has blown 10 saves so far, including the. awful one in Williamsport. In front of the youth of the world..
A genre, by the way, that have only known the Yankees as " losers."
And, like the Giants, there is nothing they can do. If Holmes steps down, as Duque begs, there is no one to step up.
Cashman has built nothing in the way of depth. He has failed at his job. For more than a generation now.
We are in Misery's box.
And there is no way out.
Let's face it: The best thing that could happen right now would be for Clay Holmes to call a news conference, say his arm feels tired, that he needs a few days rest, and he is stepping down from his role as Yankee Closer. The Bronx would immediately explode into cheers of "Thank You, Clay," as hope rained down on Yankee Stadium, and the Baltimore Orioles cursed the last-minute switch.
Holmes would clear the path for his bullpen replacement - we'd hold a primary - following his disastrous outing in, of all places, Williamsport, Pa.
Aaron Boone's job would be simplified, and Holmes' announcement staved off Yankee Closer impeachment movements that were expanding nationwide.
Wouldn't it be nice?
Obviously, in his current state, Holmes must not be subjected to another one-run lead in the 9th. He needs a week off, then a string of solid outings in the middle innings, when he can be yanked after the first sign of trouble. Right now, Holmes has become a Defcon 4 Aroldis, and there is no point in torturing him. He doesn't need to be booed at home. The guy could still can be an effective bullpen asset. At the beginning of 2024, he pitched 20 scoreless outings; he could get back his command in time for October.
But right now, really... the guy just cannot close.
So, who can take over?
Well, that's a problem.
Tommy Kahnle comes to mind. But there is probably a reason why, over his 10-year career, he has only 7 saves.
I was ready to suggest Marcus Stroman - he's a fiery type, who seems to have the mentality of a closer - but then he pitched well in Williamsport, and let's face it, we desperately need starters.
Nestor, maybe? Again, if he's pitching well in the rotation, it's probably a bad idea to move him.
Luis Gil gets mentioned, but that's a lot to heap on a rookie who has already exceeded his innings ceiling for the year.
Closer by committee? There's always that. But guys like Michael Tonkin and Luke Weaver increasingly look shaky.
Lou Trevino is throwing in minor league rehab. Ian Hamiton might return. Scott Effross remains the Babadook. Clarke Schmidt is pitching batting practice. There was that guy, Brubaker, but I think he's gone undercover in a prison movie.
Mark Leiter Jr. has been getting pounded. That guy, De La Whatever, was terrible. (Considering Jazz Chisholm's injury, Cashman rolled a perfect nothing at the recent trade deadline.)
Nobody will trade us anything. If they tried, no closer would make it through waivers. There's nobody at Scranton.
Holmes needs to face the reality: He's lost command, and he needs a rest and a resent. Hey, it worked for the Democrats, didn't it? (And the O's are stuck with KidRock and Lee Hazelwood.)
(To Matchmaker Matchmaker)
Cashman oh Cashman
we know Hal is rich...
Find us at last,
someone to pitch.
Game after game
in late innings it's blown.
So find us a clo-ser,
... of our own.
---
For AA...
Make him like Sparky!
For Hoss,
Wetteland's fastball would be nice.
For me, well, I wouldn't holler ...
a Rivera like cutter so they swing thrice!
---
Cashman oh Cashman
Please go through your book
Because it it time
to give Holmes the hook.
Night after night
we cough up the lead
While you dumpster dive
... out of greed.
---
CASHMAN:
Fellas I've found him!
Have I got a guy for you
He had thirty saves...
in 1992.
Still, he's got good stuff. Good stuff.
So nu? He's due.
His peripherals are amazing
All ground outs. No loft!
We'll use him once and then...
His arm falls off.
---
CASHMAN:
Fellas you'll love this...
This closer's been here before.
He sweats like a pig
but he throws 104.
They go straight as an arrow.
His pitches come in true.
They hit them just as fast...
So we'll turn two!
---
CASHMAN:
This next one has a temper.
A clubhouse chair he'll fight...
But only when he's sober
So we're alright...
----
Cashman oh Cashman
You suck at your job.
Your salary, and our souls you rob.
Do us a favor and quit the team soon...
You can't make a trade.
Can't sign a guy.
Can't draft at all.
Can't win a ring!
...and take with you Aaron Boone.
I don't know what you guys expect of our team. Why, it's August, and it's very hot! And they had to play two doubleheaders. That's four games! And...and they had to play a day game after a night game. And fly to that dumb-ass promotion in Williamsport, PA!
Hey, I don't want to get too Get-Off-My-Lawn-You-Kids here. But your New York Yankees have been looking distinctly...shall we say, unengaged, these days?
I know. The Boone Loon moves don't help, and the awful roster, and the fact that we somehow don't have a closer. But still. A little effort, mayhaps?
I looked it up. The 1927 Yankees played 19 doubleheaders (They swept 9, split 9, and were swept in 9.) The 1939 Yanks played 25 doubleheaders. (10 wins, 10 splits, 5 losses.) All in summer wool, without AC.
Just saying, that yet another thing that makes this team so unlikable is the constant lack of effort. And then there's that closer. The Yanks didn't invent the closer, but for a century, they have generally had the best ones in the business—at least when it came to October.
Wilcy "Cy" Moore, Johnny "Fireman" Murphy, Joe "The Gay Reliever" Page, Johnny Sain, Bob Kuzava, Bob Grim, Ryne Duren, Luis Arroyo, Sparky Lyle, Goose Gossage, John Wetteland, David Robertson, and The Great One. Not to mention the likes of Tom Ferrick, Marshall Bridges, Steve Hamilton, Lindy McDaniel, Dave Righetti, Ron Davis, Steve Farr, Mike Stanton, Jeff Nelson, Ramiro Mendoza, Rafael Soriano, and Andrew Miller.
This Yankee dynasty what never was? Well, we got Machine Gun Sweats and Sherlock.
But this is unfair. There is so much else that stinks about us. To quote the Estimable Keefe, over at keefetothecity:
The Yankees are poor at situational hitting, have an inconsistent and top-heavy lineup, a bad bullpen and a mediocre rotation. They make sloppy mistakes in the field and on the bases and have a manager who puts the team at a disadvantage in late-and-close games. Add all of that together and talent and payroll don’t matter when you’re playing inferior teams.
Can't say it better than that.
If we had a closer...
Ya ba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dum
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