It's a John Sterling Rock'a'hula New Year's Eve Party

The Year in Sterling (Continued): John comes up with a home run call for Jerry Hairston

And it's the best one ever.

The Year in Sterling (Continued): Portrait of a Married Couple

Ozzie and Harriet had nothing on these two.

Another Reason To Remove "Terminal Velocity" From Your Netflix Queue

Charlie Sheen's getting a Yankees tattoo removed.

Last Day To VOTE FOR ME In Meaningless, Damaging, Divisive "It Is High Blogger Of Decade" Poll

The Year In Sterling (Continued): Marty Dodges the Whip

That's a good thing. Marty doesn't need to be punished.

Conversations with Anonymous about our top Yankee prospects

Nothing beats a talk with Anonymous, especially when the subject is our top Yankee prospects. I sat down with A-mus this week, and soon, he was dishing on the future of our farm.

Brad Suttle: "If Sutt solves the recipe, watch out, because the kitchen is gonna get hot fast! There's nothing subtle about Suttle. He should be Brad Obvious. "

Dellin Betances: "The A-man likes what he sees in this hoof-limbed stallion, but put on your long red galoshes, cause he's got Betty-tances eyes!"

Jesus Montero: "Don't trade him for Barabas, moneychangers! Jeez is a catcher with a Capital C for Christ. Bring an extra set of eyes so you can watch him twice, cuz when J-Peg is guarding home plate, thou shalt not steal, muthfukkah."

Juan Miranda: "Lie on the pavement and call your lawyer, scumbeagle, cuz when Juan comes up, everybody gets his Mirandas, and you have the right to swing awayyy!"

Wilkins de la Rosa: "De la Rosa is de la Rosa by any name. The only thing between Wilk and stardom is the asteroid that wipes out civilization. Look to the skies, de la!"

Andrew Brackman: "Brack is back on the attack. Graaaaack!"

Amen, Brother

This IT IS HIGH Yankee Blogger of the Decade Poll Is Tearing Us Apart

Don't vote for me. I don't care. It's not worth it. 

I just want us to stay together.

What a bad idea this poll was.

Like the serpent in Eden.

We were happy before Dadlak or Duque or someone got the stupid bad idea for this hurtful poll.

But I believe we can be happy together again.

IF WE CAN PUT THIS AWFUL POLL BEHIND US.

WHAT, YOU WORRY?

At this sad point in the IT IS HIGH Yankee Blogger Of The Decade election, you have cast twice as many votes each for Anonymous & El Duque as for me.

Which says nothing about me and everything about you.

Bag Or Bod? Who Will Be IIH Blogger of the Decade?

Will the prestigious IIH Blogger of the Decade Award go to this man?

Anonymous

or



El Duque

It's going down to the wire. With just one day left in the voting, just one vote separates the two leading candidates.

Your vote could make the difference, la diferencia!

The Year in Sterling (Continued): John sings Barbara Streisand... or is it from Cats

We never did figure this out. Aug. 11.

The Year in Sterling (Continued): The lowest point of 2009

Make no mistake: This is John Sterling broadcasting from the deepest oven in hell. July 11.

Broken of spirit, sapped of hope, he simply tells the Yankiverse -- in his own way -- that we are doomed.

The Year in Sterling (Continued): John's Book Club

If you want to understand John Sterling, here it is.

The Master's reading list. July 19.

Cheapskate Yankee Brass Ought to Get in the Game

Baseball needs another collusion probe -- or maybe the Yankees need one -- because this crapola about us "keeping a tight budget" reeks of back room back rubs, and everybody knows who is bringing the medicated balm. Somewhere in the discussions with Bud "$18.5 mllion a year salary" Selig, we opted to poormouth, and the New York sportswriters bought it. That means Papa Bear, Hal, Hank, Jennifer, Jessica and Joan -- who have enough money to buy the states of Michigan and Utah -- can get away with talking about the leftfield situation in terms of Reed Johnson?

Reed Johnson? WTF?

How can we let the Yankees plead poverty when seats cost $1,000, we pissed TARP money into the luxury boxes, the NY logo is everywhere, chased by armies of lawyers. We ditched Johnny, Hideki, Chien-Ming and Nady -- if it's really this bad, why the hell are we keeping Jose Molina? -- and the big budget signing thus far is Nick "Eight home runs a year" Johnson.

The line troweled by YES, the official Yankee News Agency, is that we're waiting for next year's free agent class, which is absurd at best. Who really believes Cliff Lee, Joe Mauer, et al will go on the market next Thanksgiving? Never happen. They'll get traded. They'll get extended. Come 2011, flush with their Scrooge money, the Yankees will announce they have a new tight budget.

This is our management strategy:

Be cheap bastards until we fall out of the playoffs, then overpay like hell.

Reed Johnson? Nick Johnson?

How about somebody in the Steinbrenner clan showing his Johnson?

The Year in Sterling (Continued): "Oh, Wow!" John receives a great gift from a Met.

It was a pop fly to end the game. Luis Castillo drifted under it.

In that moment, the Yankees and Mets seasons intertwined in a way that proves God subscribes to YES. We caught the break. They caught nothing.

It sent John back to the sixties in search of the proper expression. (July 11)

Another el Dukie fix

I've been "away" for a while. I swear she looked... well, never mind.

I borrowed a Blackberry from one of the trustees here and thought I'd do a quick post, sports fans.

So what's going on? An election of some kind? How nice.

The fix is in, of course, but any votes that go to me should instead be awarded to SuperFrak or Alpo or even that new fellow, Deadhead.

I appreciate your love and recognition but until I am again at liberty — around pitchers and catchers day — I'd like to release my delegates and allow them to vote for anyone of their choice, except for that putrid reprobate, El Dumbo, the infamous election stealer and protegee of Cheney, Rove and Co.

I urge those of you who have already voted for this dripping butt-plug to change your vote post haste.

Even Mons Meg would be preferable.

The Year in Sterling (Continued): The Win Without a Warble

Like Christmas without Santa. Like July 4th without fireworks. Like President's Day without Red Dots.

After a 10-2 victory, the distracted and disinterested John Sterling forgot his warble.

This may be too intense for small children. July 8.

The Year in Sterling (Continued): "It's Just a Game"

Because it is.

A game.

That's all.

Hey Bern, In the Immortal Words of Artie Lange: WAAAAHHHH!

Dear my loyal fans, the 6 people that voted for me:


You should all be committed to some type of institution. All 6 of you. I'm not one to judge; maybe you struggle with keeping off the sauce, put a few too many knives in electrical sockets as a kid, or you're just that guy who sits in the corner twitching and twitching and washing his hands. Whatever it is, though, you guys and gals clearly need help.

Yours Truly,

The Ghost of Scott Brosius

Quitcherbitchin, SuperF ...

I've only got SIX votes!!!!

And remember, I'm the one who gave the take-no-prisoners-with-us-or-against-us-and-fuck-everybody-else-and-the-horse-they-rode-their-John-Henry-pansy-ass-in-on "State of the Yankees" address that SPURRED US ON TO VICTORY!


Six frickin' votes.

What, Just ELEVEN VOTES For ME??

Are you KIDDING?? What are you people ON???

The Year in Sterling (Continued): "Bull in the China Shop."

A booth is a dangerous place. July 6.

The Year in Sterling (Continued): An analysis of winning baseball

John does some simple math and concludes that the Yankees need a new game plan.

July 11.

The Year in Sterling (Continued): Celebrating John's mirthful side

I don't know why this seems funny. But it is classic Sterling humor. June 30.

Halt Construction on the new Giant Stadium NOW!

Cut the power, halt the dozers, send the workers home.

Why is humankind building a new stadium for this wretched pockmark on the earth known as the New York Futebol Giants?

The Giants? If they need a stadium, how about the mudhole in Moosic, the one that drains twice a year. Let them play there next year. Or Trenton. They belong in Double A.

Every Yankee fan who roots for the Giants understands karma. We won big in 2009. We suffered big in 2009. Frankly, I'll take the Championship ring. But watching the Giants blow Sunday's game -- that was a humilation for the ages.

A new stadium? What for?

They should never have built it anyway. If the Giants had any class, any sense of traditon, any belief in legacy, they would have left the Meadowlands and moved back to the old Yankee Stadium.

Yes. You heard me. The real Yankee Stadium. They could have saved it.

Let them play at Grossingers in the Catskills. Let them call Solvay their home. Let them go. What a disgrace. Sam Huff, where are you?

The Year in Sterling (Continued): "The Hamptons"

June 22: Classic Sterling humor. See how he painstakingly sets it up. Imagine the gratification on his face. Ponder how many times Suzyn has already heard it.

The Year in Sterling (Continued): "Talk into the Glove"

This is why John and Suzyn are the greatest working husband and wife team in America. June 30.

Coming on Opening Day 2010 - Centaur!

Too Big To Be A Man

Not Quite Big Enough To Be A Horse

He's

Centaur!

Something for Every Fan

Action, Drama, Romance, Intrigue

Architecture, Interior Design, Fashion, Pop Psychology, Mythology

and Play-by-Play Broadcasting

Starring

Madonna as The Priestess

Kate Hudson as The Babe

Co-Starring

LeBron as The Fan

Featuring

John Legend as The Hero

Gary Burghoff as The Skipper

Larry Hagman as The Boss

Jason Alexander as The Brains

and Stanley Tucci as "Terry"

With

John Sterling as The Voice

Special Guest Appearance by

Robert Duvall as The Mayor

And Introducing

Alex "A-Rod" Rodriguez as "The Stud"

The Ying and Yang Are Now Official

With the bed-wetting performance of the Giants on Sunday, we again have proof positive that when the Yankees succeed the Giants flop. A World Series win requires total failure and humiliation for the football Giants.

Tom Coughlin has done this year what only Ray Hanley was able to accomplish in the Giants history. And he saved the final humiliation for the last stand at the old stadium in order to give fans the taste of yang,or turd in chinese.

With Brian's off-season moves thus far, it could be a better year for the Giants next year than for .the Yankees

And the Giants only need new coaches, new players and a new stadium.

When does March madness begin?

The Year in Sterling (Continued): An A-Bomb from Hideki Matsui

By far, the most listened-to Sterling clip of 2009.

I was driving home from softball practice with my daughter, listening to the game, when John said it. Neither of us could believe it, and we laughed all the rest of the way. By the time we got home, somebody had already flagged it in an email.

The Year in Sterling (Continued): "Playing in Pain."

This had to hurt. The most heroic moment of the season. June 24.

The Year in Sterling (Continued): The perfect segue

All season long, at least 50 times a game, John wove this commercial so seamlessly into the game that you couldn't tell it was coming... for at least an inning in advance. June 28.

Letter to the Editor: The Battle of Buffalo continues

Buffalo News (New York)
December 20, 2009 Sunday

Dear Editor:

In response to a recent letter, the whole "buying a World Series" argument has always made me chuckle. When the Yankees didn't win from 2001-2008, everybody laughed and said that it takes more than a high payroll to win. Now that they won, all of the sudden they "bought" the Series. You can't have it both ways.

And this whole notion that the Yankees and other high profile teams raid other franchises is just as ridiculous. It's not the Yankees that are bad for baseball, it's the system in which baseball operates. You want to know how much money these small market teams make? According to Forbes in 2008, Marlins -- $43 million profit before taxes, Nationals -- $42.7 million, Rays -- $30 million, Orioles, Twins and Athletics -- $27 million. All in all, 14 teams profited over $20 million. Perhaps there should be a salary bottom instead of a cap.

Because of their commitment to winning, the Yankees operate close to the red year in and year out so that they can field the best team possible. Unfortunately for the fans of these small market teams, their owners are more interested in making an extra million instead of going after quality free agents or re-signing their own good players. So instead of griping about the Yankees spending their money, why don't you go tell your team to spend theirs?

Jeremy DeLuca
Lockport

It's time to make the call, Superfrankenstein

Now. Before it's too late.

The Year in Sterling (Continued): The weak win warble in Texas

Talk about being distracted. There must have been an Ethel Merman movie on TV, because this night in May, John really wanted to get back to the hotel in a hurry. It didn't even register 4 seconds. It was a blowout, of course, but three people flagged it, saying something was wrong with John.

Letter to the Editor: Indianapolis speaks

The Indianapolis Star (Indiana)
December 20, 2009 Sunday

Dear Editor:

Comparing the 2009 Colts with the 1927 New York Yankees, who are considered the best of all time.

The '27 Yankees had two superstars, Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig, and a career year from center fielder Earl Combs. The rest were everyday players who stepped up when it counted and found a way to win.

The '09 Colts have Peyton Manning, Reggie Wayne, Dallas Clark, Dwight Freeney and Robert Mathis. The rest are everyday players who step up and find a way to win.

The '27 Yankees won 110 games and swept the World Series. Will the '09 Colts go undefeated and win the Super Bowl? In years to come, two teams will be referred to as the greatest of all: the '27 Yankees and the '09 Colts.

Rodney Dreyer
Fishers

The Year in Sterling (Continued): "There is no physical element" in baseball

June 19: Somebody flagged this gem in an email. There is nothing more entertaining in radio than John Sterling trying to put some form of hopeful spin on a horrible Yankee loss. The YES crowd never does this. They're too cool and detatched to openly grieve at Yankee defeat in the way that John does. When John tells us about a miserable loss, they play in the background that old song, "Smile... even though your heart is breaking."

Letter to the Editor: Buffalo remains in play

Buffalo News (New York)

December 20, 2009 Sunday


Dear Editor,

With all of the hoopla over the New York Yankees winning the 2009 World Series on account of their payroll, as a Yankee fan, I can honestly attest to two things -- It was much more fun when the Yankees won the 1996 World Series as an underdog against the renowned Braves and all professional sports are completely out of control with salaries.

It will be a very interesting offseason in baseball with the low revenue Minnesota Twins attempting to keep their hometown hero, Joe Mauer, around for the long haul. Mauer has stated he'd love to stay in Minnesota, but why hasn't he signed a long term extension at the reported $12.5 million per year? The answer is simple -- Mauer will be a free agent following the 2010 season, and both the Yankees and Red Sox will need a catcher.

The union and the agents will pressure Mauer, the reigning MVP, not to sign with Minnesota and hold out for possibly more money than even Alex Rodriguez could imagine. But again, if Mauer wants to be in Minnesota so passionately, why hasn't he signed?

The system is flawed and the only people to blame are the stupid fans who keep insisting on more. In our abysmal economy somehow 18,000 people make it down to see the Sabres play; the NHL minimum salary is $500,000. Even with horrible teams, the Bills seem to manage more than 50,000 fans to see the NFL minimum player make $310,000. Our stupidity drives up the highest priced players which in turn drives up the minimum salary which in turn drives up ticket prices, apparel prices, etc.

You want to complain about the Yankees, fine, but they are no different than any other major sports team. I adore sports, but I live for the day this market finally crashes.

Erik Zobel
Clarence

The Year in Sterling (Continued): The trouble with Joba

June 21: This was John trying to rationalize the Joba Chamberlain situation: he was being yanked in the fourth inning due to a rising pitch count... as well as being slapped around. But John still found hope.

The Year in Sterling (Continued): Surrounded by Indians and driven by Jeep

April 19. Jose Veras, Edwar Ramirez and Damaso Marte. Yankee Stadium seemed the size of a matchbox. I watched for a while and decided that if this was going to be our season, I would ridicule the Yankees with the intensity of a billion Redsock fans. And John wouldn't have blamed me.

Peace on Earth - Executive of Decade YODA Restored to Brian Cashman

With public opinion in the Yankiverse running more than 3:1 in favor of his recent trades for Curtis Granderson and Javier Vazquez, IT IS HIGH has restored the coveted Yankee Executive of the Decade Award to Yankee GM Brian Cashman.

The commando mission which removed the award from Mr. Cashman's trophy room reports that the plaque has been returned, along with the lifelike figures of infamous IIH blogger Alphonso and the Yankee GM.

IT IS HIGH Yankee Executive of the Decade

Brian Cashman

Plucky Pope bounces back from knockdown, hits homerun in Christmas plate appearance

Hopefully, (or popefully), the Dalai Lama won't face a brushback retaliation.

Alphonso is not Currently in America

Sorry to miss out on all the Xmas greetings, but I am not here.

I was recently spotted wearing a red dress at the Vatican, but that story may be false.

What isn't false is my disdain and disgust with the Vasquez deal. Talk about tanking a season before it begins.

He killed us before and he will kill us in 2010.

So we are tilting toward the $500 million we'll have to shell out in the free agent period next year, to regain some competitive status in 2011, since we do not believe in developing any players, and our draft picks are a joke.

Even where I am, they are a joke.

Enjoy the spirits.

From us to you... May you have the merriest of merry Christmases and the happiest of happy holidays and the newest of new years

May all the blessings of this holiday season bestow onto you and your loved ones the most joyous lights of Yuletide spirit, and may peace and happiness shine upon you and your family throughout the coming season, and always, as we gather to celebrate together the most holiest of holidays, in the spirit for which everyone can forever live in peace and hope, as we simply say, from us to you, may your lives be filled with the most rejoiceful trappings of peace and prosperity, and may you revel unto the spirit of each and every holiday child, not only this holiday season but in future holiday seasons, in the hope that your future holidays will bring joy unto all, for that is our simple wish at this Yuletide time, the greatest time of year, that you and everyone you meet shall be joyful and full of hope, because tis the season of great spirit and hope, and as stated earlier, that is what we want for you, great spirit and hope, and for your wishes to come true; we didn't mean to leave that one out, because wishes are part of the blessed holiday spirit, too, and that is why we're taking this occasion to express our greatest love and affection and hope for you in the coming year, that all will be successful and right, even if we throw up thinking about Javier Vazquez, but have a good holiday season anyway, because the spirit of the holidays will not be present next spring when that joyless moment occurs, but we wish you...

all the best... from IT IS HIGH.

BREAKING: Air Force releases photo of strange object in the sky over North America

Hope he's got a leftfielder in there.

Breaking: NORAD reports strange UFO streaking south over North America

More as it develops...

Sing along with John and John... Merry Christmas

Sing along with John and Bruce... Merry Christmas

Sing along with John and the chorus... Merry Christmas

Sing along with John and Elvis... Merry Christmas

An opening in the Yankee OF: God is messing with Shelley Duncan's head

On this Christmas, we send seasons greetings to Shelley Duncan -- our most beleaguered, most personable and our favorite former Yankee star -- who once again apparently missed out.

Think about Shelley, folks, just think.

Ten years in the Yankee system, MVP at Scranton, 30 home runs a year at AAA... but he's always the odd man out, the sixth outfielder, the third DH, the 26th man, the final cut in spring training.

This year, he escapes. Left off the 40-man, he jumps to free agency.

So what happens? The Yankees jettison three outfielders and sign two LH hitters -- one who can't lefties with a tennis racket. Then they draft a Rule 5 LA reject mostly because he is a RH outfielder who hits lefties. Like Shelley.

This would have been Shelley's best shot ever. But he's gone...

Or could there be a Christmas miracle?

Merry Christmas, Mr. D. We'll always keep a light on.

It is time to take nominations for December Yankee Employee of the Month

As stated above.

It is time to take nominations for Yankee December Employee of the Month.

I'm sure most of you can't wait to elect Javier Vazquez, to reward him for your failure to elect him in December 2004.

Well, here's your chance.

No comment

Nick Johnson turns his head and coughs, and doesn't tear a muscle

He passed his physical.

Nick Johnson is a Yankee again.

Somehow, I can imagine the crack team of Yankee proctologists doing dilligence on Cashman's greatest work.

When is Javier Vazquez' physical? Any chance of a Mike Lowell situation?

Yankee fan of Decade to leave politics and root for Rio

Redsock Rudy is now Rio Rudy.

Rio de Giulianianaro!

Oh, Wow! John and John Mellencamp just saw Mama kissin' Santa Claus!

Something to look forward to

WTF? We're going to save some $$ by trading Gaudin or Mitre? Wow.

Maybe we'll bring the Duncan boys back to Scranton!

(By the way, I sincerely apologize for the negativity. But I just hate the idea of ever having to deal with Javier Vazquez in a Yankee uniform again. Do you realize how painful it is to even think about Javier Vazquez in a Yankee uniform?)

A Rebuttal to Anonymous (and other pro-Vazquez fans) Argument in the Comments

In El Duque's 10 Reasons Why We Will Suck post, Anonymous #8 posted a rather well thought out list of reasons as to why this trade is beneficial to the Yankees. His reasoning, with IIH's take on it below in italics:

1. Vazquez was an all-star in 2004 and pitched the second half of the season hurt. He's pretty much an innings eating strikeout machine which makes him an ideal #3 starter. If you want to blame somebody for 2004, blame shoddy relief pitching, awful defense, anemic offense and poor management.

2004 is much more than Vazquez's fault. Yes, you can blame shoddy relief pitching, awful defense, anemic offense, and poor management. BUT INJURY IS NO EXCUSE FOR FAILURE. Don't believe me? See Schilling, Curt. He pitched hurt. He's a huge douchebag, but his team won in 2004. Schilling's a winner. Vazquez isn't. We want winners.

2. A 30 HR centerfielder coming to a hitters park and surrounded by one of the premiere lineups in the game will be fine. His only deficiency is his numbers against left handed pitching. Frankly, he's better than Melky Cabrera in every aspect of the game.

Not gonna lie, I agree with this. But the Yankees are now missing a third outfielder. Gardner's not an everyday player, and Mark DeRosa (a guy the rumor mill is saying Cash is swooning over) is a useless journeyman. Granderson might be an upgrade over Melky, but Nick Johnson and Mark DeRosa are MUCH WORSE than Hideki Matsui and Johnny Damon.


3. Nick Johnson's an OBP machine. And so was Abreu. Having men on base is a good thing. If you're going to have a criticism against Johnson, it should be his injury history.

We're not the Oakland A's. We don't care about OBP. Why? Cause we could afford players who can HIT THE BALL. Yeah, suprise, what a novel concept. We find a huge flaw in replacing our World Series MVP with a guy who looks at pitches. Because Matsui didn't win a World Series MVP by walking up to the plate and hoping Pedro throws his 82mph fastball out of the strike zone. If Abreu was so good, he might have a World Series ring. And Randy Johnson was a failure in every sense of the word during his tenure in pinstripes

4. Robbie Cano's problem is plate discipline, not the number of buddies he has to party with at 2am the night before a game.

Robbie Cano's also had problems with a lack of hustle and effort in 2008. Remember the Robbie Cano who didn't care enough to bend over for a ground ball?

5. Phil Coke is a dime-a-dozen reliever. A lefty specialist with a 4.50 ERA isn't anything to write home about.

Coke sucks, but Boone Logan's 5.78 ERA is worse. And quite frankly we're happy that Cashman went out and found a worse version of Phil Coke. Gives us more to rant about.

6. Actually, right now the starting LF is Brett Gardner. The season also doesn't start until April, last time I checked.

Brett Gardner hit three home runs last year, one of which was an inside the park home run. He has NO power and therefore shouldn't be taking up a corner outfield spot, where we need production in the lineup. And our so-called "budget" doesn't allow us to get a better left fielder before April.

7. I think the lesson is "be a mediocre 4th outfielder and you're expendable"

We'd rather send the message: "Go 2 innings, let up 6 runs, walk 5, let up 2 home runs in a Game 7 with a World Series berth and the Curse of the Bambino on the line and you're expendable."


8. Colin Curtis had a terrific season in the AFL and is expected to compete for an OF spot in spring training.

Upon further review, that he did. But this doesn't mean we can bank on him hitting Major League pitching just yet.

9. Why wouldn't he have a season like 2009? Those numbers are very close to his career averages.

Javy Vazquez was pitching against powerhouse lineups like the Nationals and the Mets. Calista Flockhart could beat those teams.

10. Jackson is overrated (look at his AAA numbers. 123Ks doesn't exactly profile you to be Bernie Williams II ). Ian Kennedy sucks. He's maybe a #4 starter for a .500 NL team. Get over it. Dunn isn't even major league material. Vizcaino is a teenage prospect which is hardly bankable for the future. I bet you thought Eric Duncan and Drew Henson were can't miss prospects too, huh?

I think Jackson has the potential to become a really good player, but I'm at ease with the Granderson deal now that Cashmoney pulled this one off. Kennedy does suck. Dunn as well. Vizcaino is a teenage prospect, but the Yankees need to hold on to those foreign prospects. We can't draft that type of talent when we have the 30th pick in the draft every year, and the foreign market allows us to do what we do best: throw money at talented (albeit 16 year old) baseball players until they can't say no. See Sabathia, CC.

Why do I get the sense this blog is written by somebody who booed A-Rod up until 2009 and can't name the shortstop before Derek Jeter?

We did boo A-Rod because well he wasn't doing his job. And the shortstop before Jeter was Tony Fernandez. Before Fernandez, it was a platoon of Gallego and Randy Velarde. And might I add, Fernandez was the second to last Yankee to hit for the cycle. I think we all know the last one...

Yankeetorial: My Yankees, right or wrong? Pro-Vazquez enablers are questioning our Yankiotism

"My country is the great Yankeean Empire. My Yankees, right or wrong; if right, to be kept right; and if wrong, to be set right.”
-- Alphonso, circa 1990s --

In the course of human events, it becomes apparent that we as individuals may disagree about issues relating to life, liberty and LOOGY.

This happens because baseball is, in essence, merely a game played by former third graders who were sent to the nurse's office with foreign objects up their nostrils; each game, a balancing act of plates on sticks, based on the touch of a fingernail and the migrane hangover of a DH; and also because some fans frankly can't tell their butts from their bleat-holes.

We are accused of being less than Yankee fans. We are told: Love the Yankees, or leave the Yankees.

We are told by the Yankee government and its surrogate, Stalinist spokespersons to shut the hell up and bow unto Javier Vazquez as the new member of the Yankee class of 2010.

We are told to forget history.

And yet history tells us what happens when citizens fans abdicate their responsibilities:

We trade Jay Buhner. We obtain Randy Johnson. We sign Carl Pavano. We finish third.

There will always be those who live for callbacks, who fear losing pageloads or jobs or sponsors, and who believe it a statement of wisdom to proclaim that the people in control know more than we do.

This is how we invaded Iraq, ignored the housing bubble and traded for Kevin Brown.

We do not claim to know more about baseball than Brian Cashman.

But dammitall to fuck, we sure know what it feels like to be pissed on by a baseball team -- and we know it more than he ever will -- that cuts three stallwart heroes for a series of acquisitons that culminates in the return of the Bill Buckner of the Yankees... while expecting us to clap like trained seals... which is the saltiest, sourest, warmest shower of piss we have felt since John Mayberry donned Pinstripes.

My Yankees right or wrong? This day, wrong.

10 Reasons Why We Will Absolutely Suck in 2010

1. Javy Vazquez, who has never pitched well outside the NL, will be booed out of NY. He is the Yankee Bill Buckner.

.

2. Curtis Granderson is one bad month from being platooned.

.

3. Nick Johnson's .275 and 8 HR numbers make Bobby Abreu look like Babe Ruth.

.

4. Robbie Cano lost his best friend; remember his season after Larry Bowa left?

.

5. Who needs a hard-throwing lefty in the bullpen, anyway!

.

6. Right now, our starting left-fielder is Jamie Hoffmann. (Anyone remember when Josh Phelps was our starting 1B?)

.

7. What a message to send: Play well in the post-season, and you'll be traded!

.

8. Our only big OF prospect is Slade Heathcock, and he'll be at Staten Island.

.

9. We're actually figuring Nick Swisher will have a season like last year; he's making the rounds of TV shows, fer kricesake.

.

10. "Getting younger?" We've traded 4 of our top 10 prospects: (Jackson, Dunn, Vizcaino, Kennedy.)

Until we won the World Series, the best thing that happened in the last five years was that we got the fuck rid of Javy Vazquez. Now he's back, and we're supposed to act happy?

Three of the most popular Yankees in recent years -- three major contributors to the World Series victory -- pitched overboard. And for what?

This is the cruelest abuse of the Yankee fan base since the 1980s.

BOYCOTT THE 2010 YANKEES.

DO NOT PAY TO SEE THE
RIDICULOUS
CASHMAN CLOWN CIRCUIS.

WE CANNOT ACCEPT A
REUNION OF THE
YANKEE TEAM OF 2004!

NO VAZQUEZ!

NO PEACE!

NO VAZQUEZ!

NO PEACE!

Yankee trade proves nobody in the future will ever invent time travel, because someone would have come back and stopped Cashman

And to think, three weeks ago, we actually had a farm system.

Everybody: You get the tar, I'll get the feathers... let's run them out of town!

They can't do this to Melky.

They can't do this to us.

TAKE BACK THE YANKEES! NOW!

When I think of Javier Vazquez in Pinstripes, I want to puke.

(John Lackey, $15 million, and nobody would leave.)

Now we have to sign Johnny Damon

We sure as hell don't want Javier Vazquez pitching to him, do we?

The Worst Christmas Ever

I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade. I hate this trade.

Ask me how I feel about this trade?

I hate it.

Welcome Back to the Bronx...

Bambi and Thumper!


uhhh. I mean Javy Vazquez and his friend Boone Logan...

Feliz Javy - dad - Vazquez to Return to Yankees?

New York Post reporter Joel Sherman and Sports Illustrated's Jon Heyman are reporting that the Yankees are about to trade Melky Cabrera for Atlanta Brave starter Javier Vazquez.

The Yankees will also get Boone Logan. Mike Dunn and a prospect will go to the Braves.

The 32-year old Vazquez pitched for the Yankees in 2004 (14-10, 4.91 ERA). He was 15-10 with a 2.87 ERA with the Braves in 2009.

Once again, the Yankees are paying billionaires who would rather be cheap than win

Bernie Madoff's biggest mistake: Not buying a baseball team.

It would have been the perfect cover, the perfect serendipity, the greatest scam of all.

Every year, he'd receive a couple million dollars from the Yankees as his rightful reward for being cheap.

Let's face it: If the owners aren't richer than God, they are at least richer than Buddha. They own baseball teams, fer kricesake. They hold entire metropolitan areas for hostage. They own banks and airlines and multinationals. Kansas City's owner is the former head of Walmart. You think he ever pays a decent wage? Go to the Walmart nearest you and ask the cashier if she has health insurance?

And the cheapest, chistlingest, Scroogiest owners -- they win cash prizes. The Yankees will pay them $25.6 million -- the luxury tax -- the most honest phrase in sports. We'll pay it to the billionaires who don't play to win, because such activity runs against the values of the Men's Club of MLB.

The MLB owners wish they could be the NFL, the most communistic organization in America.

The best part is what they do with the money they receive from the Yankees: Nothing.

Well, actually, maybe they grind it into their local media and fan base to remind people how bad the Yankees are, how this year's losing season is all because of the Yankees. That way when the owner doesn't want to shell out for his star player, he has cover: It's all the Yankees' fault.

Maybe someday they can change the system and implement a salary cap. Che Guevara lives, but only among the billionaires.

MLB buzzing about Cashman trade plans

Supposedly, B-Cash -- the IT IS HIGH Yankee Executive of the Decade -- is near a deal for a pitcher, though lately, "dealing for a pitcher" has been used as a Yankee code phrase, like "hiking the Appalachian trail" was for the governor of South Carolina. What it means is, getting a LH bat.

There's excitement over a trade, and yesterday's statement by VP Mark Newman that we intend to start Jesus Montero at Scranton this year sounds ominiously like the touting of a prospect who is about to disappear.

.

If so, this would be a painful Christmas in the Yankiverse: Cashman betraying Jesus on Dec. 24. Lump of coal, anyone?

Let's hope for the best. But keep this in mind:

.

Most of the big names out there -- Ted Lilly, Roy Oswalt, etc. -- would mean huge salary dumps from their team. We'd absorb a $10-$14 million salary for a guy whose team knows he isn't worth it.

For $15 million, we could have had John Lackey, we would have kept Boston from getting him, and they'd be the ones anxiously draining their farm system for... what... Bronson Arroyo?

Pictures of food at Yankee Stadium

This is what French fries see from right field, courtesy of Zell's.

Ho, Ho, Ho!!! John, Suzyn and Bruce Springsteen Welcome Santa Claus

Signed Game Used Hank Steinbrenner Heineken Case

Only 4+ Shopping Days Until Christmas!

Own a piece of history!

2009 World Series Edition Heineken case (24 bottles), Games 1 and 2.

Yankee fans we know and loathe

Via Zell's

Yankee Great Wayne Tolleson to enter Hall of Fame

Long overdue.

Congratulations, Tollie.

Letters to the Editor: Yet MORE from the Buffalo front

Buffalo News (New York)
December 13, 2009 Sunday

Dear Editor,

It is somewhat laughable how Yankees fans think Derek Jeter was robbed of this year's MVP. All Joe Mauer did was outhit Jeter, .365 to .334, outhomer him, 28 to 18, drive in 96 runs to Jeter's 66, have a .444 on-base percentage to Jeter's .406 and an on-base-plus slugging percentage of 1.031 to Jeter's .871 -- not even close. Yes, Jeter had a terrific season. Yes, he's a first-ballot Hall of Famer. And yes, he has "looks, charisma and charm," whatever those things have to do with being a great baseball player.

If the writers are so "ignorant and jealous" when it comes to the Yankees, how is it that they voted Jeter as the American League Rookie of the Year, and the MVP of an All-Star Game or the MVP of a World Series? He might have been MVP of the Series this year if he had driven in more than one run and not struck out and hit into a double play in crucial spots in the ninth innings of games Four and Five.

If Mauer and Jeter had changed teams this year, Mauer would have won the World Series and Jeter wouldn't. But Minnesota would not have even made the playoffs without the great year Mauer had. The writers had it right when they voted the Yankees' Mark Teixeira second behind Mauer and Jeter third. Jeter wasn't even the most valuable player on his own team.

Richard Teetsel
Tonawanda



Dear Editor,

In typical fashion a Yankee fan states they "took the MVP award away" from Jeter because of jealousy. I might ask, does this writer's TV set turn to other stations besides YES Network or MSG? ESPN has a great show on a couple nights a week where teams occasionally play on their own show.

The other is, was Jeter even the MVP of his own team this year? Teixeira had an outstanding year. The other ignorant fact stated is "How valuable can they be, if they can't even get by the Yanks?" This is a season award, not postseason, and has no bearing on the playoffs. I will only list the stat categories in which Mauer outshined Jeter: Average .365 to .334, HRs 28 to 18, RBIs 96 to 66, BBs 76 to 72, OBP .444 to .406, OPS 1.031 to .871, SOs 63 to 96, Rs 107 to 94, 2Bs 30 to 27, and Errors 3 to 8. And Mauer missed the first 22 games of the season due to injury.

Now the last month of the season, Justin Morneau, Minnesota's other great, missed due to a bad back. Take away Teixeira or A-Roid and see if Jeter can lead them to a 32-11 record down the stretch to win their division. Plus Mauer played in every game but three at the most demanding position of catcher without his stats diminishing.

There were two robberies done here. First that Mauer wasn't unanimous and second is by the Yankees. Always buying the best players, all the time and inflating a padded Series title number. I say turn the station and see the other great players and teams. Plus, always remember 2004 and that colossal choke job.

Kurt Kaul
Elma


Dear Editor,

To all you Yankees haters out there, the question is: If you had the financial resources, wouldn't you want to build a winner? The Yankees donate to revenue sharing, so why do the Kansas City Royals and Pittsburgh Pirates struggle for a winner? It looks as though their share of the revenue pie is eaten up by an owner who puts it in his pocket. So remember two things: 1. The Yankees will never cheapen out. 2. In sports, it's all about winning.

Paul Mroz
Buffalo



Dear Editor,

Last week an individual wrote a letter complaining how Derek Jeter had the MVP award taken from him by Joe Mauer. The MVP is awarded to the player who is most valuable to the success of his team. Without Mauer the Twins don't make the playoffs.

If it were based strictly on stats, well, one could argue that Mauer did have the better season. Mauer isn't surrounded by big-name players in the Twins lineup like Jeter is with the Yankees. Jeter is simply not as valuable to the Yankees as Mauer is to the Twins.

And since when do "looks, charisma, charm and class" make up the "greatest baseball total package"? And, finally, you are just a fan. You do not know Jeter's makeup and personality.

Michael A. Measer
Buffalo

Letters to the Editor: World at War -- Buffalo still smoldering

Buffalo News (New York)
December 13, 2009 Sunday

Dear Editor,

For those who have been anti-New York Yankees the last few weeks, get a life.

Boston and the Mets have been spending a lot of money over the last few years, but I have never heard anybody hate them. Just the Yankees.

If you remember, Boston was going after A-Rod also.

Also, nobody brings up this fact: The teams that pay the luxury tax. This money goes to other teams like Kansas City or Washington so they can invest in their team. But, what the owner does with this money is a different story. Boston and New York are good for baseball. I believe in the 2007 season, Boston and New York made up a third of Baltimore's home ticket sales. Fans want to see these teams.

By the way, whatever happened to the free enterprise system? You have to spend money to make money.

Gary Levulis
Eden


Dear Editor:

Over the past six years the average Yankees' payroll was over $70 million a year more than the Mets or Red Sox, even though those teams draw from more lucrative areas, charge premium ticket prices and cable fees. Owner George Steinbrenner reinvests back into the on-field product even though he is penalized for it. Revenue sharing and the luxury tax have required the Yankees to spend millions of dollars to promote youth leagues and player development overseas, thus benefiting ALL major league teams.

According to Peter Handrinos, in his book, "The Truth about Ruth and More," the Yankees were forced to contribute no less than 39 percent of locally generated money into a pool for teams like Milwaukee and Pittsburgh. He adds, "in a typical year, the Yankees must hand over more than $75 million to smaller-market frenchises . . . with no real strings attached." The Yankees are unequaled in merchandising but they are allowed to keep only 3 percent of the profits."

Since 1980, the Yanks have fueled an unprecedented increase in interest in the MLB. Home attendance has grown from 1 to 4 million a year and when the Yankees come to town, the average increase in attendance is 13,000 fans per game, further enriching the other teams and their billionaire owners. Yes, the Yankees win and baseball benefits.

Vito Perricelli
Lancaster


Dear Editor,

The Yankees have an unfair fiscal advantage. Is it fair that the Yankees have $201 million payroll while the second-highest payroll is the Mets' $149 million? Take $50 million off the Yankees roster and they do not win the World Series. Is it fair that 21 teams have less than half the Yankess' payroll?

They can sign any free agent and any homegrown player they want. Most teams would not have been able to keep Jeter, Rivera, Posada or Pettitte. Since 1997, the only above average players they developed are All-Star second baseman Cano and Soriano. It's easier signing other teams' all-stars than drafting and developing players. Of course the Yankess did make it hard with the likes of Knoblauch, Pavano, Brown, Johnson, Giambi, Contreras, Wright and Igawa. After signing three All-Stars in their prime last season, it would have been hard for them not to win the World Series.

Yes, the 1993 Blue Jays had the highest payroll. There were also seven teams with 75 percent or more of their payroll to compete with them. The Mets, with the second highest payroll, have less than 75 percent of the Yankees' payroll. Yes, the Yankess had one more homegrown player than the Phillies. But what about the quality of free agents and trades? The Yankees acquired All-Stars A-Rod, Teixeira, Burnett, Sabathia, Damon and Matsui. The Phillies acquired Pedro (past his prime), Lee, Ibanez and Werth (Phillies version of Scott Brosius). Advantage Yankees.

MLB needs revenue sharing and a minimum and maximum salary levels to ensure some sort of fairness and balance.

Michael J. Nemeth
Orchard Park