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Houdini hangs it up.

 

So Dave Robertson has finally retired. The very last Yankee on the very last Yankees world championship team has hung up his spikes, which in any universe where moral order still remained would make this organization hang its collective head in shame.

He was called "Houdini," a great, old-fashioned nickname for his ability to wriggle out of the most impossible situations. I seem to have some recollection that he wasn't well-liked, for some clubhouse faux pas or another—which to me as a fan means exactly nothing. 

What was most remarkable about Houdini was his willingness and ability to fit in pretty much anywhere. He was one of the last guys out of the bullpen in 2009, just his second year in the majors, but pitched 4 1/3 shutout innings in the postseason, including wins in the 11th inning against Minnesota and the 13th against the Angels, that wild and wonderful October.

A set-up man by 2011, he went 4-0 with a 1.08 ERA. After The Great One retired, he became the closer, and if he was no  Mariano Rivera, he still had a 3.08 ERA and 39 saves. The Yanks responded by letting him go as a free agent to the White Sox. After a couple decent seasons closing in Chicago, the Yanks brought him back—in one of the better trades Brian Cashman ever made—for the 2017 stretch run, where he went 5-0, with a 1.03 ERA.

He was big again in the playoffs that year, pitching 3 1/3 scoreless innings in the comeback in the Wild Card game against the Twins, and surrendering just one run in 4 2/3 against the Indians. He did get hit hard in Game 6 of the ALCS in Houston, turning a 3-1 deficit into 7-1, but there were, let us say—cough, cheating—extenuating circumstances—cheating, cough—in that series.

The Yanks let him go again after 2018, even though he still had plenty in the tank. He had 20 saves and a 2.40 ERA for the Cubs and Phils in 2022, and as late as 2023, he went 4-2, 2.05, with 14 saves in a stint with the Mets. 

Perhaps the best indication of just how valuable—and valued—he was, was that he was on postseason clubs in 10 of his 17 big-league seasons. In some 19 October series, he had 14 excellent ones, altogether going 6-1 with a save and a 3.40 ERA.  

Yet what's maybe most telling about Dave Robertson's career is not so much anything to do with Robertson himself, but how it reflects on Cashman and the Yankees.

ranger's revealing find about the fate of Yankees' draft picks stands out most of all, I think, in demonstrating how constantly Cashie has just let useful players walk off the team for nothing, or a handful of (not-so-magical) beans. 

Sonny Gray-for-Shedd Long was maybe the most stunning example that ranger dredges up. But it's also telling that The Brain let Robertson walk—twice—without getting so much as a plugged nickel for him. When you constantly tell yourself that the playoffs are just "a crapshoot," you fail to understand just how critical a stacked bullpen is to winning a World Series in this era.  

Even more than a lack of contact hitters, a deep bench, or a punch-out starter, the Yanks' lack of bullpen depth has come back to bite them when the leaves turn. Again and again and again—in 2001, 2004, 2007, 2017, 2020, 2024—this has proved critical to them falling short.  

So long, David Robertson. We Yankees fans will always be grateful, even if the nepo nabobs who run our team probably can't remember who you are.

 

Et tu, Tischay?

 

With the signing of a 13-year-old, it's official: The Yankees are evil.

When the Death Barge recently fired Danny Rowland, its longtime chief international talent scout, who knew enough about it to take a side? 

It's not as if Rowland had signed any Juan Sotos lately. Then again, the recruitment of 16-year-olds has always been a sordid mess, MLB's version of Epstein Island. 

And the Yankees often led the way. They signed Gary Sanchez, Jesus Montero, Dermis Garcia, Hans Montero, Jasson Dominguez - to name just a few. Most soon disappeared, along with their innocence, in the haze of the minor leagues.  

Now comes this horrifying tidbit from the dark edges of the Yankiverse: 

The Yankees have entered into some sort of Satanic agreement with a 13-year-old - yes, thirteen - from Venezuela. His name is Albert Mejias. They'll pay $7 million to his family coaches handlers traffickers, at an age when most kids are finishing Little League. Check this out...  

According to the Internet, this looming payout breaks a record - $6 million to a tyke named Lucias Fox, who signed with the Giants in 2015. Fox never hit and bounced to the Rays, the Royals, the Orioles, the Nationals and finally the White Sox. He's now listed as a free agent, though he hasn't played since 2024.

Of course, none of it mattered. At age 16, Fox became a multi-millionaire (though I'd bet it's all gone, siphoned off agents, alimonies and entourages.) 

Hey, wanna build a Yankee team that, at its core, doesn't give a mosquito's crap about winning? 

Make them millionaires at 16. 

Now, we learn that - thanks to the Yankees - 16 is too old. They're signing a kid whose testicles have yet to fully drop, whose voice is still changing, and they'll bestow upon him more money than most people will make in their lifetimes - all while Hal Steinbrenner complains about the rent on his taxpayer-funded stadium. 

Obviously, Danny Rowland needed to go. As for his replacement? I'd suggest a crackerjack scout who might just be available soon, with a boost from their old pal in the White House. Her name is Ghislaine Maxwell. She knows 13-year-olds.

"The Yankees have two really high-end shortstop prospects, a big group of arms who are probably starters and then the system drops off pretty quickly..."

So says The Athletic - (aka the Gray Lady) - in its new rankings of MLB farm systems, a demeaning appraisal that puts the Yankees at 20th (out of 30), behind the Dodgers, Orioles, Redsocks, Rays, Phillies, Guardians and Mets - all our rivals, who will likely own us through another dead decade debacle.

Okay, I know what you're thinking. Jeeze, Duke, what happened to you? Everybody knows these lists are crapolatta. Remember when Jeeze Montero was our future lord and savior? Remember Ruben Rivera, Brien Taylor, Drew Henson, Jackson Melian, Anthony Volpe? 

You're right. Nobody hyped Ben Rice when he was a single A catcher at Tampa. (It was 2021; he hit .210.) Now, he's our breakout hope. Both the O's and Redsocks took turns atop these lists, and neither has anything to show for it. Besides, who cares? The Dodgers (#2, on the rankings) will win it all, anyway, and in 2027, baseball is going to bid us farewell.  

Yeah, you're right, reader. As always. But chickens do come home to roost, and Cooperstown Cashman's sudden new willingness to trade youth for age - the kind of deals he once renounced - has resulted in a one-way drain flow of Yankee prospects. It started two winters ago, with the Michael King package for Juan Soto, and it ramped up full tilt last August, with the garage sales of young talent. It has continued this winter, and I believe it is setting up the Yankees for a collapse year, one of those seasons when everything goes rotten. 

All this talk about the team returning one year older and one year stronger? It belies the last 20 postseasons. If you're not getting younger, you are sinking into the mud. In this case, you might as well grab your tickets for the Melania movie, because it's all downhill from here.  

For me, one of the saddest parts about this ranking is that it seems to ignore our one true rookie candidate, the intriguing Spencer Jones. You'd think he'd get at least a mention. Yes, he looks the Second Coming of Joey Gallo, but keep in mind that old Googly Eyes enjoyed two 40-HR seasons in Texas, before he came to Gotham and crapped out in a HR-K-BB haze. The Yankees claim that Jones can play CF. If so, he'd be a low budget version of Trent Grisham. If they hadn't given Grisham that qualifying offer... 

Ah, but they did. So Jones is, what, soon to be traded? 

Donno. I suspect they'll deal Jones, probably for a bullpen lug nut. And if you're scoring at home, the Yankees will drop a notch lower on these bullshit farm system rankings. This elevator is going down. Ride it at your own peril.

If Brian Cashman had been general manager in the 1980s, Donnie Baseball would never have played for the Yankees.

 

And so T(oby) J(oseph) Rumfield departs for Rocky Mountain high, Colorado, as the song has it. We can only wish him well—and only speculate upon how the 2024 World Series—or indeed, even the whole 2025 season might have turned out had Brian Cashman decided to give a lefty, .290 Triple-A hitter with some pop and a terrific glove, a chance.

Any chance. Even a cup of coffee.

But no. Rumfield was left to cool his heels in Scranton for two long years, without getting so much as a swing at that sweet Stadium porch. 

Instead, Brain Cashman, The Man Who Bested Scott Boras, Mano-a-Mano—as his press courtiers are now proclaiming him—decided instead to squeeze the last dregs from two, once-great pros, Anthony Rizzo and Paul Goldschmidt, at first base.

It sez here that the 2024 World Series, at least, would've been up for grabs if Cashie had Rumfield out a first. Even had Rummy proved that he couldn't hit a lick, no doubt he charges Mookie Betts' groundball and makes the play that keeps the Fifth Inning Fiasco from being anything but a footnote. 

That happens, and the Yanks go back to L.A. with Judge now hitting and a Dodgers team bleeding so badly that Shohei Ohtani is playing with his sleeve pinned to his jersey. 

Oh, well—who knows? 

Here one is tempted to make assorted Rummy jokes about known knowns and unknown knowns. But it's just too damned annoying.

What we DO know is that Brian Cashman simply wasted two years of Rumfield's life and two years of the Judge Window. All gone now. The question that remains is WHY? Why not give the kid so much as an at-bat at the Big House?

The answer is the predictable one: like most poseurs in positions they are not qualified to hold, Cashman clings to credentials above all else. 

T.J. Rumfield was drafted in the lowly 12th round by the Phillies, a 21-year-old who looked like a big tall geek and had only begun to start in his senior year in college. He wasn't expected to do much, and for his first three years in pro ball, he didn't. 

Then he did, suddenly starting to hit and hit well, and field well, in 2024. 

In Brian Cashman's world, this is the equivalent of the moment in the 1960s sci-fi shows when someone asks the evil, omniscient robot the question, "Why?" It just did not compute. But rather than letting his head explode, Cashie did what he usually does when some minor leaguer or another shows unexpected skill: he buried him.

Don Mattingly had a pretty similar resumé, a-way back in the early 1980s. He was younger when he started in the minors, to be sure, and he always hit—for average. In 4 minor-league seasons, though, Donnie Baseball never hit more than 10 home runs. 

He was a singles and doubles guy, who didn't walk all that much, and had no speed. The Yankees didn't really know what to do with him, and as they were just moving into "King George: The Mad Years," it's almost miraculous that they didn't deal him for one of the nonentities they did deal away the future for back then—another Ken Phelps or Bob Sykes or Dale Murray. 

Instead, even after The Hit Man batted a meh .283 with only 4 homers in 91 games in his rookie year, they traded his main rival for the job, Steve "Bye-Bye" Balboni, to Kansas City, for a mediocre middle reliever named Mike Armstrong. 

This was foolish enough. Armstrong was nothing of the kind, turning in one so-so season before fading into permanent hambone woes. 

Balboni proved to be nothing to write home about, but he had a nice little career for himself, hitting 36 homers to help KC win the World Series in 1985. (The Yanks, of course, signed him back on when he was near the end. Some organizational bad habits precede even Cashman.)

Mattingly, meanwhile, somehow, almost overnight, turned himself into one of the best hitters in the American League, winning a batting title, and an MVP, and lining shot after shot into the right field stands and all over the big ballpark.

"You made the right call," as that baseball ad used to say. 

In retrospect, it's easy enough to see why. Mattingly was a lefthanded hitter in Yankee Stadium, Balboni a righty. Donnie hit for a much higher average, was a Gold Glove fielder at his position, and could play left field. 

If the Balboni trade was a poor one, the Yankees, at least, had cleared a spot for a true superstar to emerge. 

Neevvver woulda happened with Cashman.

Why? Because Balboni was drafted in the second round. Mattingly? Just the 19th round of the 1979 June amateur draft.

In the mind of Brian Cashman, a credential is forever. It's why he picks up so many of those former, high-draft picks who have since proven to be busts, or broken down from injury. Somebody else once thought they were can't-miss, right? 

If Cashman were in charge then—and sometimes it feels like he was—Mattingly stays in Columbus until he's rusted away. Or he's the one who would've gone to Kansas City, for the great Mike Armstrong.

What Cashie has picked up for Rumfield, of course, is Angel Chivilli, a guy who wasn't drafted at all...which to Cashman lends him only a greater aura and mystique. Plus he comes loaded with all sorts of "what-if" scouting assessments and sabremetrics. 

He "avoids bats" (always a good idea). He throws hard (97, which is pretty normal these days). He has all kinds of potential. All unrealized.

Hey, I wish the guy well. Who wouldn't, with a name like Angel Chivilli? But essentially, he's a great big string bean, who in six years of pro ball has an 8-20 record in the minors, and 3-8 in the NL. Plus an ERA of 7.60. (But wait! Only 5.03 out of the Rockies! Woo-hoo!)

I hope he becomes our bullpen ace. I hope he's the successor to Mariano we've all been waiting for. I hope he is everything Brian Cashman wishes for and more. But there's no indication that he will be—just more wishin' an' hopin' an' prayin'. While yet another perfectly good ballplayer is sent on his way.

 

Remembering Michael Siani, the 5-day Deodorant Pad Yankee

"To make room on the 40-man roster, the Yankees designated outfielder Michael Siani for assignment. The move came just five days after New York claimed him off waivers from the Dodgers."

What's that you ask? Do I remember the Micheal Siani Era? How could anyone forget...

It started with the shooting in Minnesota, lasted through the character assassinations and the town hall attack, and peaked with Sydney Sweeney festooning the famous Hollywood sign with her blown-out bras. Springsteen wrote his song, Bovino went home, and Yank fans assumed that Siani would last at least until opening day, or the invasion of Greenland, whichever came first. But the Siani flame burned too brightly. It couldn't last. Few epochs raged so wildly as Siani's five days as a Yankee. 

Just for reminders: Siani was the good-glove/no-bat CF claimed by the Yankees last week after being ditched by the Dodgers. His arrival ended the Caleb Ort Era, which is remembered for - well - Caleb Ort. That coincided with the rising mayhem in Minneapolis, along with the Oscar nominations. Siani was going to backup CF in case something happened to Trent Grisham, and maybe he would add to the reasons why Spencer Jones would be traded. No matter. He's gone, and the Angel Chivilli Era has begun.  

That's right. Angel Chivilli, from the Rockies. He's a 23-year-old string-bean RH reliever, who posted a 7.06 ERA last year over 43 appearances - which is sorta incredible - a guy that bad pitching that many innings. Apparently, Brian Cashman blames Coors Field, which is sorta like Sydney Sweeney blaming the Hollywood sign. Cashman sees untapped potential, although my guess is that he's got his hand on the Waiver Wire buzzer like a B-lister contestant on Celebrity Jeopardy. 

Chivilli comes to the Yankees in a trade for T.J. Rumfeld, an excruciatingly slow-rising 1B prospect who has inhabited Yankee minor league rosters since Trump's first term, and who was likely to never escape Scranton. I always liked Rumfeld, and I suspect he'll be a decent MLB first-baseman, but not for the Yankees.

So, write your epitaphs for the Siani Era. Here's mine: 

HERE LIES SIANI

NEXT STOP, TOLEDO?

HE COULD'A BEEN

THE NEXT ROSS MOSCHITTO

No announcements. No movements. No nothings. This is the Yankees.

Three weeks from pitchers and catchers, six from the first tweaked gonads of spring, here is how everything shapes up for the 2026 Yankees.

1. No Carlos Rodon until May. 

2. No Anthony Volpe until June.

3. No Gerrit Cole until July.

4. No Devin Williams and Luke Weaver. Period.

5. No replacements for Devin Williams and Luke Weaver.

6. The ghost of Paul Goldschmidt is wandering Earth. 

7. Clarke Schmidt might return in September.

8. To round out the rotation, we have David Weathers' kid and a Rule 5 pitcher.

9. Everybody is a year older. (And 15 members of our 40-man roster are over 30.)

10. Greenland hates us.

11. Canada hates us.

12. Europe, Venezuela - hell - everybody hates us.

13. Except for Putin. He loves us. 

14. The Giants have a new head coach.

15. Aaron Boone likes what he sees.

OH MY GOD, AM I STILL A YANKEES FAN ? – I MUST BE IN H E L L ! H E L L L ! ! ! H E L L L L L L L ! ! ! !

 

Ten thoughts on the upcoming Yankee debacle

As we near spring training, a lightning round on the current state of the Yankees...

1. As always, everything - everything!- will hinge on Aaron Judge. When he hits, the offense comes alive. When he slumps or - God forbid - gets injured, we are dead. 

2. He's been healthy now for the last two years. Are we feeling lucky?

3. No player is more likely to feel the effects of being one year older more than Giancarlo Stanton. He is 36. He will surely miss playing time with injuries. The concern is that he'll produce less, when playing. (In last year's postseason, he went 5-for-26 - .192.)

4. Once upon a time, it was believed that Stanton would eventually finish his career at 1B. Not gonna happen. In fact, he will probably never play another inning in the outfield. 

5. The team still needs a RH-hitting 1B/OF, a bullpen lug nut, and a RH-hitting catcher.

6. Apparently, the Yankees will seek to fill those needs by dumpster diving. There is always a Franchy Cordero out there. 

7. Slowly but steadily, the Yankees have reverted to doing what Brian Cashman, in his early days as GM, vowed to never do: Trade the farm system to stay competitive. That's what led to the drought of the 1980s and early 1990s. He must be feeling the pressure. It's going on 17 years.

8. For the first time in this decade, the AL East looks stacked.  

9. The Yankees will heap a ton of pressure on Gerrit Cole to return before the all-star break and, at age 35, reinvent himself as a pitcher. 

10. The Yankees will enter 2026 as NY's "other" team. It's not clear how that will affect the franchise. But it will definitely have an impact.

The Yankees owe their fans an accounting of what happened in their international scouting program

Something just seems... well... pungent.

In December, the Yankees suddenly fired their longtime international scouting director, a guy named Danny Rowland, and his top assistant. These are the guys who signed 16-year-old Latino prospects such as Jasson Dominguez, Roderick Arias, Brando Mayea, Hans Montero and half the male population of Venezuela. Depending on how you view the Martian - (nobody bothers to ponder the others) - you could argue that the firings were long overdue and should have included goose down and hot tar. 

Over the years, the Yankees have spent a shit-wad on 8th grade, walking fountains of testosterone, and if you watched Dominguez last year defile LF, you'd wonder why? But lately, fallout from the dismissals is raising questions about WTF is going on?

In December, shortly after Rowland was canned, a top-rated SS named Wandy Asigen - #4 on scouting lists - jumped from his $3.9 million deal with the Yankees to sign with the Mets. The stated reason: Rowland's firing. A few weeks later, another highly ranked SS, Yeison Horton, leaped to the Angels. And now we hear that yet another top SS - Marion de la Rosa - is scuttling his $4.3 million deal - for the class of 2027 - to sign with Seattle. 

It's hard to figure these moves from the comfort of a snowdrift in upstate New York. But either way, as Ricky would say to Lucy, the Yankees have some 'splaining to do. Whatever is happening in their international scouting program, it's starting to give off an aroma. (And why hasn't Rowland been interviewed by the Gammonites? Could there be a looming court case or two?)

Is this how Hal Steinbrenner plans to build his bullpen? By cutting bonuses for the farm system? Are the Yankees systematically inept, or is it something worse?

From a distance, MLB's international scouting system, where teams and scouts traffic in 16-year-old boys - (actually, it starts at earlier ages) - has always looked a cabana boy version of Epstein Island. In this age, no industry should be allowed to peddle the futures of boys barely halfway through adolescence. It just smells. If Hal tomorrow announced that the Yankees would never sign another 16-year old, at least he'd show a spine of morality. But he won't, because the Yankees are still out there, measuring the pool boys and signing them up.

But something happened in the Yankees' international scouting program. 

The Yankees owe it to their fans to talk about it. And let's go, you professional Gammonites, if there are any of you left. Give us some answers! Do I have to call Danny Rowland myself? 

Yankee News and Notes

Despite everyone's complaints about the Yankees lack of activity it's actually been a busy couple of weeks...  

NOTE: All of these are real

Kaleb Ort Acquired and Released

At first I thought the Yankees were deluded and let Kaleb Ort cloud their thinking that their pitching was going to be fine but apparently that thought has dissipated.

In his place they signed Dodger discard Michael Siani an outfielder known for his defense and speed. 

So... can't hit? Got it. 

I guess the Dodgers signing the most sought after outfielder for tons of money even though they already won the last two World Series in a row made him disposable.  

Yankees Miss Out On The Venezuelan Juan Soto  

The Yankees fired their long time director of international scouting Donny Rowland, possibly because he sucked. 

Actually he wasn't fired per-se. His contract expired and wasn't renewed. He'd been in that position for fifteen years. Signed a lot of can't miss guys who somehow, missed. 

Or who knows... maybe because a person who doles out millions to impoverished teenagers might have other issues. I'm not saying that's true BTW. I'm just saying that's what occured to me.  

It could just be that he was bad at his job because, you know... he was.  

As a result, the team's agreement with their number one international signing, Mairon De La Rosa, fell apart and he went to the Mets no less. 

There were a bunch of others who cancelled their commitments as well. Because they have no one in charge, the Yankees missed out on a kid billed as the next Juan Soto. 

Thirteen year old Dylan Perez reached agreement with the Seattle Mariners to receive a 3.7 million dollar bonus in 2030 when he turns 16 and is eligible for the international draft. 

THIRTEEN YEARS OLD! 

When I was thirteen the only balls I was worried about dropping were my own. I was mostly interested in watching the Golddiggers (wink) and cadging  unaccompanied drinks off the adult's tables at bar-mitzvahs. 

3.7 million dollars!  On a thirteen year old. Seems risky. Wouldn't it make more sense to just give fifty bucks to every six year old kid in Venezuela who is dominating tee-ball?  One of them is bound to develop. 

The Yankees signed right-hander Adam Kloffenstein 

To be fair, I know this doesn't really matter. I  just liked his name. A deeper dive revealed in his most recent appearances  "Kloffenstein was tagged for 20 homers over 82 innings with Triple-A Buffalo while posting a 6.26 ERA and 11.7% walk rate"

I don't get it. Maybe Cashman liked his name too. 

Dear Hal, I realize that it's warm in Tampa, but your shivering fan base is starting to channel THE SUN ALSO RISES...

Dear Madam or Sir, (no judgements, either way.)

First, I realize that it's winter, and that snow is falling in places like Alabama and Mississippi, which otherwise do not have weather. It's goddam cold outside, and they say Tampa temps this week could plummet into the 50s. Stock up on soup!

But today, I'd like to ponder the Yankee pitching rotation, which is...

Max Fried
Cal Schlittler
Will Warren
Luis Gil
Ryan Weathers

One observation...

This will not win the AL East. Nope. Won't come close. Soon, spring training injuries will start piling up, like chain reaction accidents on the New York State Thruway. They always do. Soon, we'll be down to Ryan Yarbrough and the Rule 5 guy, Cade Winquest. Think about that. We'll be touting a Rule 5 pick in the rotation. In my memory, we have never done that before. And we're basically one or two tweaks away. 

I know what you're thinking: All we gotta do is kill time until June, when Gerrit Cole and Carlos Rodon return. Then we'll make our move. 

Well, as Jake says to Lady Brett, in Papa Hemmingway's finale: 

"Isn't it pretty to think so." 

The Yankees need at least one more starter - one more workhorse who can eat 100 innings and keep the team relevant through late May.  

Two pitchers meet that criteria. Both are in the final throes of Hall of Fame careers. I'm referring to Justin Verlander and Max Scherzer. They are awaiting your call. 

They would 1) Elevate the Yankees over the Mets in the public eye. 2) Give the team a jolt of life. 3) Keep us in the race. 4) Accept incentive-laden contracts. 5) Sell tickets. 

Sir, the Yankees need one, maybe two, veteran arms for the early part of the season. You can wait until somebody's elbow barks in spring training, and then bid on them in desperation. Or you can call them now. Your choice. 

But the Yankee rotation will not hold. If the guys in the office say otherwise, they are bullshitting you. 

Stay warm.

Yanks must hold on until Rodon, Cole and Schmidt return. Why not go in style?

 Here are two free agents who could rally the team through April-May, and who I gotta believe would kill for a chance to pitch for the Yankees in October. 

All it takes is for Hal to want it... 

What would his dad do? (Of course, I'm kidding myself. Right?)

Three weeks until the Yankee chickens come home to roost

Won't be long... 

In about three weeks - a few catastrophic storms, celebrity breakups and ICE atrocities - pitchers and catchers will report to civilization, and the Big Yankee Wheel will begin to grind, anew. 

It would be wonderous to think that, over those three weeks, the Yankees would spend some leftover grist to improve - rather than recreate - last year's first-runner-up contestant. Why kid ourselves?  

The Yankees will decamp to Tampa with the same basic lineup that finished second last year and was blown out by Toronto every time they faced off. This team is weaker, due to the shredded bullpen. Instead of Luke Weaver and Devin Williams, the Yankees will trot out Caleb Ort and a Rule 5 pick named Cade Winquest. (You can't make this up.) Moreover, once they lose a pitcher or two in spring training - (Fun Fact: they always do) - the A.I. system that runs them will start shouting "DANGER WILL ROBINSON!   

The remaining question is not whether Cooperstown Cashman will remake this team, but what he'll do to it by chasing his "great white whale," the starting pitcher who could carry this team into October. Maybe he'll trade The Martian. Maybe Spencer Jones, or one of our four prospects recently named on Baseball America's Top 100: 

George Lombard Jr., (#46) shortstop who will make us forget Anthony Volpe.

Elmer Rodriguez (#59) fireballer who will make us forget Carlos Narvaez (Redsock catcher we traded for him.)

Dax Kilby (#61) last year's 1st round pick, who hit well at Single A, who will make us forget George Lombard Jr.

Carlos Lagrange (#93), who hits 100 mph on the jugs gun, and who will make us forget - um - can't remember.

The list of Cashman's pitching failures spans the eras of Kevin Brown and Javier Vasquez all the way to Sonny Gray and Nathan Eovaldi, with a few Michael Pinedas and Ian Kennedys to thicken the broth. It's an impressive list of failures, a chronicle of our misfortunes. 

He's got three weeks to trade young for old. The Yankee way. We've got three weeks to live in fear. Get low and stay away from windows. Won't be long. 

Bellinger is re-signed, and Yank fans are resigned.

     Last year                     This year 

cf Trent Grisham        cf Trent Grisham
rf Aaron Judge            rf Aaron Judge
lf Cody Bellinger        lf Cody Bellinger
dh Giancarlo Stanton  dh Giancarlo Stanton
1b Ben Rice                 1b Ben Rice
2b Jazz Chisholm        2b Jazz Chisholm
c Austin Wells               c Austin Wells
3b Oswaldo Cabrera   3b Ryan McMahon
ss Anthony Volpe        ss Jose Caballero 

Notes:

1. Stanton will play about 80 games.

2. If he hits a lick, Cabrera could displace McMahon.

3. In mid-May, Volpe will replace Caballero.

4. The Martian will be traded for bullpen help. 

5. The Yankees are done buying free agents.

6. Greenland is ours!

Tip yer cap

 

Maybe Tomorrow the Yanks Will Get Their SECOND 2026 Tabloid Cover!

 

He'll be 35 when the contract ends.  Stanton will be four years a memory.

No, Greenlandia: Aaron Boone is NOT a "generational talent." Pt. Done

 

Golly Gosh Darn It !

We should have hugged this man whilst we all had the chance.

Sure looks as though this could be Seedy's grumpiest season ever.

Batten down the Bubbles !

But wait . . . 

To be honest, I'd sorta be sore too if no one went shopping for my bench this off season.

Watch for Skip to add aspirin to his buffet of in-game munchies in 2026.

He's gunna toss 'em back and grind them down like Jack Torrance did in that Stephen King book  (whatever the heck it wuz called)

That's the only way he'll keep those migraines at bay.

Have a Wonderful Wednesday and thanks Hoss and JM for . . . 

My Inspiration .

My Inspiration . .

My Inspiration . . .

It is High

It is Far

It is . . .

BALLOON !

Whatever Soto is, I'd rather have a two-tone DeSoto with a push-button transmission

A thorough and well-presented defense of Soto, Hoss. One point of clarification: Are the numbers for Ohtani through his age 27 year? That's what I was considering, although his two years since have been noticeably better than those earlier seasons. In fact, further musing has led me to think that maybe thinking "generational" by age 27 is not that great an idea, either for or against. It can change, as it did with Judge and seems to be with Ohtani. So my main argument is, perhaps, moot. These things happen.

edge.

That said, I do not think Soto's defense is very good. The number of putouts and thrown outs are great. Unfortunately, neither Baseball Reference nor any other source doesn't keep stats on misplayed balls and tough plays made or not made. An outfielder seems to have to work to get an error called on him--perhaps I'm wrong, but that's how it seems to me. So watching one play day in and day out trumps the stats, in my humble opinion.

And while Ohtani doesn't play the field, Soto doesn't pitch. Ohtani's "generational" tag really rests largely on the fact that he is very good at the plate and on the mound, both. Pitching is like quarterbacking. It usually determines the course of the game. Playing a corner outfield slot, not so much. So I give the pitching a lot more weight than fielding, even if it's good.

Ohtani doesn't pitch deep into games, true. Nobody pitches deep into games. So I don't see that as a mark against him. Part of his g-g-g-generation.

We can quibble over Ichiro. I see your point there. And I will say that maybe, like Judge, Soto becomes a generational player as time goes on. At the moment, I don't think so. In a few years, it may be obvious, even to me.

For the Yankees, it's all about "affordability."

Alright, everybody, it's time to cut the carping.

It doesn't grow on trees.

Soon, maybe today, Cody Bellinger is going to choose his future team, and - Breaking News: It might not be the Yankees. If so, we must accept the reality that Amed Rosario and Paul DeJong - (not exactly Sabathia and Giambi) - are this winter's big Yankee free agents, and if you don't like it, "Tough-titty" said the kitty with the milk so warm.

Yeah, it woulda been nice to sign a few Kardashians. Michael King seemed like a perfect fit, Alex Bregman would have been a poke in the eye to Boston, and - yeah - we all figured Trent Grisham would leave, and we wouldn't be harpooned to his $22 million qualifying offer. We figured Cody was a generational shoe-in - good grief, his dad's greatest moments came with the Yankees. Worst case scenario: The great fruits of our farm - Jasson Dominguez and Spencer Jones - would save the team. It would be a great winter, and the Yankees would do whatever it took. Back in the day, they always did. 

Welp, we've been waiting 10 weeks, while Bellinger luxuriates, and all the major free agents are off the board, except for Framber Valdez, who we watched deliberately cross-up his catcher with a fastball to the chest last year, and who in Creation wants that asshole in a clubhouse? He's all yours, Boston. (Unless, of course, the Yankees smell a bargain? Once upon a time, they did with a publicly challenged Aroldis Chapman. How did that turn out?)

So, we wait. Yeah, we'd like the Yankees to be the Yankees. But they're not. That ship sailed. This winter, our byword is "affordability." The Steinbrenners cannot just spend like idiots. Obviously, they don't have the money. 

It's sad, seeing a great family face financial distress. Hopefully, we fans will support them with extra ticket sales and YES subscriptions. Have you purchased your Schlittler jersey? We need to get this family back on its feet. Can we subscribe to their YouTube channel? Wait... does Hal have a podcast? 

Write this down: Hal needs a podcast. He can sell ads to Simply Safe and that drug that combats bulging eyes. Nobody wants bulging eyes. They're scary. We need Hal back in the ring, tipping cabbies an extra two dollars, and taking the family to Applebees now and then. Less than a month a month to pitchers and catchers, people. We're on a shoestring, people. Send what you can!

Yes, Virginia: Juan Soto IS a "generational talent." Pt. II

 

Now, as to the main charge before us from Counselor JM: that Juan Soto is NOT a generational talent.

 

JM tells us the names—and shows us the stats—of several players whohe considers to be generational talents. They are as follows:

 

Mickey Mantle

Willie Mays

Mariano Rivera

Shohei Ohtani

Mike Trout (before he was injured)

Ichiro Suzuki

 

First, we can dismiss Ichiro. I loved to see the guy play, too. He truly was unique, in the modern game. A terrific fielder, a great base stealer—and someone whose very best years, from ages 21-27, we may not even have seen, as he was still in Japan. 

 

Great, great player. But not only did he not hit home runs…he didn’t walk very much. At the plate, he was essentially Mickey Rivers. And we forget how good a hitter Mick the Quick really was. But still.

As for the others…I agree about Mike Trout. A shame what happened to him.

 

As for The Mick, Willie, and The Great One…they are not simply “generational talents.” They are among the greatest ballplayers who have ever roamed the earth, and I prostrate myself before them. 

 

(Something I actually did at Cooperstown, much to the embarrassment of my wife. Though I did notice they had prayer mats next to their plaques. Just sayin’.)

 

Which leaves…Shohei Ohtani. 

I agree that he is a generational talent, too—with one, obvious advantage over Juan Soto…but not so great an advantage as you may think.

 

Let's start with the plate, where the two men are...practically identical. Both have been in the majors for eight years. Both have batted .282 lifetime, both have an OPS+ (on-base-plus-slugging, adjusted for ballparks) of 160.

Ohtani leads in lifetime triples (45-16), homers (280-244), stolen bases (165-95, and 79-78 percent), total bases (2,172-2,049), intentional walks (88-80), fewest grounded into double-plays (49-101), hit-by-pitch (25-19), slugging (.582-.531) and on-base-percentage-plus-slugging (.957-.948).

Soto leads in runs (775-708), hits (1,086-1,050), doubles (199-192), RBI (697-669), walks (896-541), fewer strikeouts (883-1,104), on-base percentage (.417-.374), rOBA [I have no good idea] (.409-.404), Rbat+ [another mysterious hitting stat] (162-159), and sacrifice flies, 26-20.

Some of these differences are explainable by what they’ve been asked to do. Batting first more often, Ohtani drives in fewer runs—but also hits into fewer double-plays. Soto has been asked to steal a lot less often. 

 

Soto has many more plate appearance, 4,803-4,329, which accounts for some of his statistical edge in some categories. But that is because Ohtani has missed many more games with injuries in his major-league career—not exactly a selling point for him. 

 

When it comes to the postseason, both are very good:

Soto: 43 G, 191 PA, 11 HR, 30 RBI, .281/.389/.538/.927.

Ohtani: 33 G, 160 PA, 11 HR, 24 RBI, .248/.390/.550/.940.

 

Ohtani’s teams have won all seven postseason series he has been in; Soto’s have won eight of ten. That’s right: combined, their teams are a remarkable, 15-2 in postseason series. 

So let’s get to the one, outstanding difference between them.  

 

Yes, Ohtani (occasionally) pitches. He is a lifetime, 39-20, with a 3.00 ERA, and 1 shutout.  He almost never goes beyond six innings. (And is 2-1 in October, with a 4.43 ERA.)

 

Soto’s defense, by contrast, is “pretty bad,” as JM tells us—

 

Wait a minute. Squeal the brakes. Full stop. “Pretty bad”?

 

Soto is certainly an erratic fielder, who makes foolish errors. But “pretty bad”?

 

Playing left or right, Soto led his outfield position in putouts for 5 straight seasons, if you exclude the weird, 2020 plague year. For left fielders, he led the NL in putouts in 2019 and 2023; in right field, he led the NL in 2021 and 2022. 

AND…Soto led all AL right fielders not only in putouts but also in assists, with 9, while playing for your New York Yankees in 2024.

 

As for Ohtani…well, apart from when he is pitching, he still has yet to record a chance in a major-league game. Aside from the 12-13 games he pitches every year, on average, he is a DH. So there’s that.

Meanwhile, 2025 was a relatively quiet year for Juan Soto, as he had a slump and the Mets collapsed in the end. He only hit .263. 

 

But he also scored 120 runs, belted 43 homers, drove in 105 runs, and led the NL with 38 stolen bases (in just 42 attempts), 127 walks, and a .396 on-base percentage. All while winning his third straight, and sixth overall, Silver Slugger.

By the end of his career, Soto is likely to have over 500 (and possibly over 600) homers, 200-300 stolen bases, and be in the all-time top ten in walks and maybe runs scored.

 

So yeah: generational talent. The defense rests.

Yes, Virginia: Juan Soto IS a "generational talent." Pt. I

 

First off: what fun! Glad we can generate it ourselves, instead of depending upon the miserly jerks who run our favorite ballteam.

 

All right, so the question before us:  Is Juan Soto a generational talent?

 

The defense rises to make our case.

 

To begin with, yes, it is a vague term. And to dispense with the charge by Doug K., co-counsel for the prosecution, that Soto is indeed all too typical of his generation, I say this is an irrelevant and scurrilous charge.

 

Yes, Soto went for the highest offer on the table. And why not? He didn’t owe us nuthin’. Let's face it: with their usual determination to finish "second" in free-agent hunts, it is not even clear that the Yankees would have LET him re-up.

 

Didn’t we just get through bemoaning that, if he wanted to win a World Series, Aaron Judge should not have re-signed with the Yankees? He will always have a special place in our heart for having done so—but the fact is, the Yanks underbid for him, too.  

Forget the luxury box, and the however many millions extra. Steve Cohen proclaimed that he wanted to build a World Series winner. Hal Steinbrenner proclaimed that he didn’t like paying taxes.

 

Who would you rather play for?

 

Steve’s motives have become rather murky of late. But signing Bo Bichette this off-season is signing one more star than your New York Yankees have. 

 

Ballplayers tend to look at money as respect, which is a bad habit to adopt. But they’re not wrong, when it comes to their sport. The Mets respected Soto. The Yankees scrambled around and did all they could to find a reason NOT to sign him, while insisting that they wanted to…the same as they always do.

 

I move to dismiss this charge as a silly one…With all due respect to Counselor Doug.

So... just wondering... did the Yankees ever solve those infield issues?

As we wait happily on Cody Bellinger, I got to wondering about that blinking Strobe Siren Panic Alarm Button on the left side of our infield. Damn, it's been blinking for about a year now. Must be broken, right? No sweat. The Yankees should unplug the modem, wait 30 seconds, then plug everything back in. That'll fix it. Right? 

In case you forgot - or somehow erased the memory - for the first four months of 2025, the Yankee 3B position was classified as a TOXIC WASTE ZONE. On July 31, we traded for Ryan McMahon, who made the position - well - still a TOXIC WASTE ZONE.

McMahon fields 3B quite well. Let's give him that. But offensively, he ranks 14th out of 24 at his position. 

More concerning: McMahon fanned 189 times last year - 7th highest in all of MLB. Most of those above him - Schwarber, Suarez, Devers, Arozarena - posed enough productivity to justify the strikeouts. McMahon didn't.  

Then there is SS. Rest easy: I won't supply a chart. That's because Anthony Volpe ranks so low at his position - 21st of the top 24 - that the names won't fit on one page. 

There is talk of Jose Caballero and Oswaldo Cabrera saving the day. It would be nice. Both seem destined to be utility players, or fill-ins until - gulp - Volpe returns, sometime in May. Apparently, the Yankees will go with Volpe for another season, or until George Lombard Jr. is ready. If he's ever ready. 

Look, it's probably just a faulty connection, like when the RED engine light goes on in your Dodge Dart. Don't worry. Things will fix themselves. Oh, and then there is that blinking light on pitching... Not to worry. Must be a mistake.

RIP Wilbur Wood, one of the great knucklers

 Pitched for years without his arm falling off or needing Tommy John. There's a lesson here somewhere, but nobody will heed it.