Oysters of Hercules! We're now hosting career nights for Coco Crisp?

Recently, YES or River Ave or somebody with a clipboard and calculator conjured up  a set of stats showing this year's Yankee team has not been shut down consistently by no-name, mediocre pitchers... as the truth-telling anecdotes in our guts have long been assuring us.

Well, instead we've been suddenly magnetized to attract career nights from fading blood clots. Good grief: Two home runs from Coco Crisp? Hide the children! Run for the hills! The Yeti is coming. What paranormal forces in the universe merge to create the conditions in which Coco Crisp hits two home runs in one game?

Same forces that swirl around Yankee Stadium, I guess. Does the name Bobby Abreu strike a note? Two weeks ago, up comes the old Wall Flower - four HR on the season and a batting average south of Francisco Cervelli - and suddenly he's swinging like Jennifer Lopez on a Mark Anthony pinata.

Last week it was Jason Kubel. Nothing on the year. Against us, three for five. Remember Seattle's Mike Carp? We're probably the only team in baseball to remember Mike Carp.

There's some wicked juju going on out there. We may need a dead Hollywood Square or burst of solar flares to jumpstart the Yankee stretch run. Hurricane Irene, are you coming?