They hate it, hate it... HATE IT. They. Hate. The. Wave.
Seriously. They wish the Wave would die. They wish it was never born. They wish you would stop. And they NEVER will join the Wave. Never ever. Not once. No sir. If you see them on the street or in a restaurant, DO NOT DO THE WAVE.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
FACT: John and Suzyn HATE the Wave
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I looooooooooooooooove this rant by Suzyn. When the wave started becoming popular, Yankee fans refused to do it. I used to go to games and when rubes from somewhere else tried to start a wave, it happily died in about 7.43 seconds. You could see New Yorkers who watched what was going on with a small, satisfied grin on their lips. It was beautiful. WE WERE TOO COOL TO DO THE STUPID WAVE. We were there to watch a ballgame.
But now...now...with Kate Smith's lo-fi voice ringing in our ears, the wave gets started by some pink-shirted suburbanite and girls who think they're Carrie Bradshaw--and it goes all the way around the stadium. John and Suzyn are right. Kansas City can do the wave. Texas and Anaheim can do the wave (and throw their pathetic little rally monkeys in the air). Podunk Falls can do the wave. What else have they got?
This is New York City, damn it. Get these rube bastards out of my stadium.
The other night John and Suzyn couldn't quite nail down just WHEN the wave originally started. John first heard about it at a football game on the west coast, whereas Suzyn had a different recollection.
Suzyn also imitated John's "WHOA" the other night as well. Was a nice moment.
Girls who think they are Carrie Bradshaw? Girls who think they have faces like horses? Poor girls.
OH thank God someone is taking this on. Sophomoric exercises like the wave are for towns that have nothing better to do. In the famous words of a former Cincinnati football coach, a bit embellished, Your not in Cleveland, or Kansas City, your in New York! If you are jumping up and down from your seat, you are certainly NOT watching the game. Moreover, you are interfering with the person behind you who is!! New Yorkers were always above such ridiculous behavior. Known for being an intelligent sports audience, we did not need such trivial pursuits to entertain us. FOR GOD's SAKE, there's a pennant on the line! Sit down and watch the game please, or risk the same fate of the Red Sox fan who got clocked with a bat. Or it might be a ball---just pay attention! SIT DOWN!!
Shocker Waldman agrees with Sterling!
"That's right Johon."
I like the wave. It gives the fans something to do while batters are adjusting the velcro on their batting gloves. OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER
YOU WANT TO SPEED UP BASEBALL. BAN VELCRO ON BATTING GLOVES. GAMES WOULD END AN HOUR EARLIER.
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