Sunday, July 4, 2021

Large Obstacles and Devil's Wind, two new poems by A.J. Boone


LARGE OBSTACLES 

By A.J. Boone 

The history of this game...
Is littered with teams
Overcoming larger obstacles
             Than this.

                      7/3/21


DEVIL'S WIND

By A.J. Boone

There were a few balls
That died at the warning track.

We had those three runs
Behind Judgey and Urshy.

Maybe if it's less windy,
Things go more our way.

Yeah, I'm mad as all heck,
You know, But wind is wind.

That's baseball.

7/3/21

94 comments:

JM said...

I see. The Yankees and Boone are suffering from a bad case of the wind.

Perhaps today they will avoid the bean dip and cabbage at the clubhouse buffet.

Anonymous said...

Or, to quote an other bard...

"Every one knows it's Windy."

and for good measure... HEY HAL! You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows. And believe me, this team blows!

Doug K.

DickAllen said...

Balls are not only dying on the warning track, balls are also shriveling in the locker room.

R. Zimmerman said...

The answer my friend is blowin' in the wind

TheWinWarblist said...

Clever how the Mets cheated by turning the wind off for their half innings.

Boone is a mewling simp.

ranger_lp said...

Is that a bad case of wind or a bad case of breaking wind?

Ken of Brooklyn said...

I'm preying for sweep by the Muts, that's how fucking LOW I've fallen,,,,,,,

Defund the Yanks!


FUCK U HAL!

mik said...

Hal just came out and supported Cash and Boone -- wind is not something that their beloved Analytics Department can't be expected to be predicted.

Savages wilting on the weather vane.

Anonymous said...

Michael Kay just read an ad for “Full Service Junk Removal.” Could we send them to the Yankees’ dugout (and administrative offices)? Hey – they even got an 800 number!

ranger_lp said...

Locastro is in the lineup today...that's a sign of defunding...

Cole just gave up a home run...another victim of sticky stuff...

Ken of Brooklyn said...

Already behind, always behind,,,,, KISS MY BEHIND!

Rufus T. Firefly said...

We want Zoilo!

We want Zoilo!

We want Zoilo!

We want Zoilo!

We want Zoilo!

ranger_lp said...

Yesterday attendance was 40,047. Empty seats at the Stadium today also...

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Now batting for Stephen Drew, Reid Brignac!

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Zelous Wheeler is on deck!

He can't hit, but he's got heart!

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Fun fact:

Zoilo Almonte, Stephen Drew, Reid Brignac, Zelous Wheeler Yankees team batting average = .245

Our anal-ized 2021 Yankees team batting average = .235

They're almost as good as that powerhouse 2014 team. Way to go, HAL!

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Did Bonehead actually say "Judgey and Urshy"?

He should be fired just for that.

13bit said...

I love you all.

ranger_lp said...

Lindor forgot something...

Mustang said...

"Locastro, 29 next month, managed a .367 OBP and a 101 wRC+ in 332 plate appearances from 2019-20. He rarely walks (6.5%) but has a knack for getting hit by pitches. Since 2018, he ranks tenth in hit-by-pitches and 412th in plate appearances. Locastro is very fast (third in average sprint speed) and he gets hit by a lot of pitches. That’s his game."--Mike Axisa

Hoping for a 1st AB HBP!

ranger_lp said...

Higgy!

Mustang said...

Loki!

Ken of Brooklyn said...

YAY, the Yankees are ahead, I'm happy,,,,

YAY, the Muts may come back and beat this gawd awful crappy Yankees team, I'd be happy,,,,

You can predict baseball Suzyn, no matter who wins today, I'll be happy!

Anonymous said...

Still TBD pitching for the Mets tonight. You wanna bet it won’t be a bottle blond?

ranger_lp said...

Cole struggling...smh

Pocono Steve said...

Tack King Cole on the verge of another "Unforgettable" performance here.

ranger_lp said...

This is not boding well...

JM said...

Cole great last inning, terrible this inning.

Yankees whole year right there.

DickAllen said...

There’s someone in LF wearing pinstripes. Fuck. If I was Clint, I would be enraged.

Fuck your Boooooone, Fuck you Brain, and, a special fuck you to Harold.

TheWinWarblist said...

The more they lose the sooner change will come. Of course, it will be bad change that makes things worse.

Fuckers.

Anonymous said...

Holiday confusion: July 4th featured the Yankees' $324 million turkey.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Warming up in the bullpen -- Clay Christiansen!

Rufus T. Firefly said...

They're also getting a lefty ready -- Wade Blasingame!

ranger_lp said...

We may have a three hour seven inning game...smh

JM said...

Yep.

Chapman ready to come in and...God knows.

JM said...

Chapman should work on a Folly Floater.

ranger_lp said...

Here comes Rolaids…

JM said...

HR. Wow.

BernBabyBern said...

"Chapman cannot believe it!"

Everyone else can.

BernBabyBern said...

Green threw TWO PITCHES. Why da fuq would you take him out for Chapman, who has been brutal lately??

Anonymous said...

El Crappo!

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Bern,

Anal-it-ics

JM said...

Been, Kay and Cone said they have to use him to straighten him out.

Yeah, great idea.

Lugnut coming in.

JM said...

Bern not Been.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Paulie: "Yankees are all kinda trouble here."

He was talking about the season.

BernBabyBern said...

If we need to pitch Chapman, Lord knows there are enough games when we're losing by 7 or 8 runs to get him some work.

JM said...

Rerun of last Wednesday.

ranger_lp said...

Same recipe for disaster...blowing the game again in late innings...

ranger_lp said...

Luetge is done...put a fork in him too....

mik said...

Good God! You can't make this stuff up....

mik said...

Question for the Yankee brain trust -- if you are not sellers at this point what else do you need to see to blow this crap up? Rock bottom apparently has depths to it that we never thought we would be experiencing.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

I can't wait to hear Boone's throat clearing symphony after the game, the most horrific loss of the season!

ranger_lp said...

Mr Steinbrenner, tear down this team....now...

Anonymous said...

This is liking watching the National Geographic Channel show on those monks who self-immolate.

Anonymous said...

´WE’RE .500! WE’RE .500!

Platoni said...

Oh my lord, I just realized it's a double header and our resident poet brought in Chapman to actually close a one run game. I first thought he was bringing him in to work out his issues. That laughable moron really used him as a fucking closer

Anonymous said...

My vocabulary has run out of synonyms for the word "suck"

The Wordless Archangel

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Can't wait for the ESPN ANALysis on tonight's game.

mik said...


Great point from Ken of Brooklyn about "Boone's throat clearing symphony after the game."


It will be a Throat clearing Cliché-Athon.

Anonymous said...

Boone after the game:

All the sayings...and whatever...it's really freakin hard right now.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

El Chapo just got chosen for the all-star game.

Time to retire that made for TV event.

13bit said...

we need a new game thread for the next vomit puddle

13bit said...

Is that true, Rufus?

Ken of Brooklyn said...

Yes, BOTH Cole and Chapman,,,,,, probably voted in by the National League players, LOL!

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Prediction: Brett Gardner will be a replacement player when Judge gets injured.

BernBabyBern said...

I just ran down to the casino to bet the NL in the All-Star game before the odds went through the roof.

BernBabyBern said...

If not for Aroldis Chapman, the Yankees would be unbeaten in the Tim Locastro Era.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

nj.com had an article today rating the Yankees at midpoint. Some of the player ratings were questionable, but they rated bonehead and brainless both F's. Should have been F-. They missed the most important one - HAL. I'd give him a Z-.

13bit said...

Hal = the #ZedVariant

DickAllen said...

It’s un-fucking-believable that Brain would go down to Goodwill for cheap used goods and Boooone would insert that garbage in left when he has...

Never mind. I don’t know why I bother. Everything about this season is a mind blowing shit show. They all deserve each other. I’ve run out of expletives.

Mrs. Claypool said...

Thanks, Rufus, for the heads-up on the article at nj.com. Here’s the complete report card (with some indeed very questionable ratings):

Brian Cashman – Grade: F
Aaron Boone – Grade: F
Gary Sanchez – Grade: B+
Kyle Higashioka – Grade: C
Gleyber Torres – Grade: D
DJ Lemahieu – Grade: F
Gio Urshela – Grade: B
Tyler Wade - Grade: C
Luke Voit – Grade: F
Rougned Odor – Grade: D
Giancarlo Stanton – Grade: C
Aaron Judge – Grade: A-
Brett Gardner – Grade: C-
Clint Frazier – Grade: F
Miguel Andujar – Grade: C-
Aaron Hicks – Grade: F
Gerrit Cole – Grade: A-
Jordan Montgomery – Grade: C
Domingo German – Grade: C
Corey Kluber – Grade: D
Jameson Taillon – Grade: F
Aroldis Chapman – Grade: B (!!!)
Chad Green – Grade: B+
Zack Britton – Grade: Incomplete
Jonathan Loaisiga – Grade: A-
Lucas Luetge – Grade: B-
Mike King – Grade: C
Darren O’day – Grade: B
Justin Wilson – Grade: F
Nestor Cortes – Grade: B

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Yes, the Zed variant. At least until I learn an alien language like romulan or klingon.

Fucking Yankees better find a way to lose this one and fire bonehead and brainless.

Anonymous said...

Taking Cortes out already? If only Boone had as quick of a hook on Chapman.

DickAllen said...

Now let’s see how they manage to fuck this one up.

For a minute I was confused, thinking it was ROY Oswald pitching for the Mutts. Roy should have been coaxed out of retirement to join the Brain’s Triage Staff.

13bit said...

BOONE IS AN ASSHOLE AND A MORON.

Way have some faith in Nestor. They deserve to lose. I know they're winning at this moment, but they deserve to lose.

Did Brian phone that in with carrier pigeon or did Booney make that call himself?

ASSHOLES, ONE AND ALL.

13bit said...

SORRY TO USE PROFANITY HERE, PEOPLE. I KNOW YOU HAVE NEVER HEARD ME CURSE BEFORE.

I MISS ALL-CAPS, BY THE WAY.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

Right ON Bitty, curse away Brother!!!!,,,,,,,,,, and I miss ALLCAPS toooo!

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Want happened to ALLCAPS? I fear the geezer symptoms overwhelmed him.

Rufus T. Firefly said...

And Mr. Bit:

Don't ever fucking using bad damn words here, you know that shit is not allowed!

Carry on.

13bit said...

Fucking-A, Rufus.

ALLCAPS felt it was getting too "political" one day and split. That's my recollection.

It's been a tough few years for all of us.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

That's how I remember it Bitty, too bad, I do miss ALLCAPS

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Shame that prevented baseball talk. I doubt any two people here agree on everything. That's what friends are for. Or acquaintances, as the case may be. I'll never totally agree with anyone here, but we have enough in common to get along pretty well. After all, the byline says:

"We're not here to heap abuse on each other. We're here to heap abuse on Brian Cashman."

I guess that's one thing we all agree on.

That, and Fuck You, HAL!

Rufus T. Firefly said...

I kinda like Green, but I hope he spits the bit and rids us of bondehead and brainless.

ranger_lp said...

No Rolaids win...don't have to pop any after this game...

TheWinWarblist said...

I am angry. I've never been of a temperate disposition; you all have seen it. But I am angry now. If I had a rocket launcher some son of a bitch would die.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

Winnie, I believe you speak for all of us, every win prolongs the misery,,,,,,

TheWinWarblist said...

At least the 7 inning games end more quickly.

TheWinWarblist said...

If I had a rocket launcher I would retaliate.

Anonymous said...

Every win is just a bridge to the next loss…

Publius said...

No sweep by the Mets on Uncle Sam's and George Steinbrenner's birthday. No sir. These Yankees have some pride.

BernBabyBern said...

Ah, the first win of the Tim Locastro Era.

And Winnie, nice Bruce Cockburn reference.

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday to The Master!

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