Saturday, September 4, 2021

Okay, we can exhale. The terror scenario of losing to Baltimore has been exorcized... for now.

Yank Aaron scored on Jumbo Gia's single, the Death Barge beat the TomatO's, and - by my count, anyway - America actually went a day without a national catastrophe. 

No new flooding. No new fire. No new Constitutional crisis, military debacle or A-list celebrity divorce. (Our daily No-Disaster streak now stands at - gulp - one...)

And - most germane to this site - the Yankees survived. Yeesh. I watched nine innings channeling Malcolm McDowell in A Clockwork Orange, eyes pried open, lashed to a chair, convinced that we'd lose. To blow game one would supercharge Baltimore's confidence levels to a degree that - even 50 games below .500 - they could still eat our lunch... in our own home park. Then, when Stanton finally drove in the game-winner, I was terrified that Judge's passenger pigeon slide (seen above, launching, while twisting) was a surefire gonad-tweaker. 

The Yankees are fluctuating in mid-air, like Judge's slide. They win 13 straight, lose four straight, now take two in a row. Our wild card rivals - (exception: Tampa, whose management we must poach) - are treading water on 6-4 rolls. But last night, we simply had to win.  And we did. Yeesh. Does everything have to be so stressful? Can't we just win 15-0 someday?

One last note: A friend emailed yesterday wondering what happened to the IT IS HIGH Zoom game - when we'd come together through the information superhighway to watch a game together and rant. To be honest, I'm not sure how it would work, or how I would set up something. It looks like a fiasco, eh?

But, hey, what's the world without another fiasco?

Should we try to set one up in September, just to see what Armageddon looks like, up close? 


107 comments:

ranger_lp said...

So here's one reason why there's something wrong with baseball...

I get emails every morning from MLB.com. You're all gonna say that's whats wrong with baseball...but it was something in the email saying how Mike Stanton hit a 121.1 MPH single to win the game.

This is from someone's tweet...

Giancarlo Stanton 121.1 mph walk-off single

That's the hardest-hit batted ball for a walk-off tracked by Statcast (since 2015)

It's his 6th batted ball at 121+ mph since '15. Only 2 other players have even 1 each: Aaron Judge & Gary Sánchez

(snip)

So there you have it, Stanton's 121.4 single overshadows the Yankee victory. Hell, if Stanton had hit a 121.4 line drive at someone to lose a game, that would overshadow the loss.

Nice win, Yanks are not good enough to be in postseason having to beat this AAA team in extras.

ZacharyA said...

The Dodgers and Giants are both on pace for 102+ wins, but one of them is gonna have to play in the shitty Wild Card Game against a team that’s won like 85 games. Heh.

Anonymous said...

"if Stanton had hit a 121.4 line drive at someone to lose a game, that would overshadow the loss."

Their death would have overshadowed the loss.

Doug K.

JM said...

Statcast is not only annoying and irrelevant--do we really need a service that tells us the hard hit ball that got through the infield was hit hard?--but there have been some questions about its measurement of home run balls. Most seem correct-ish just from watching, but others seem oddly truncated or extended. Which leads me to the logical conclusion: fuck Statcast.

Holmes did quite the high-wire act last night. No net. Smoked a whole pack of cigarettes watching it.

JM said...

Uh oh. Monty is pitching today. Expect us to score two runs or less, at least until he's out of the game.

TheWinWarblist said...

Zoom game. Easy peasy lime squeezey into margaritas-ey.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

I'm all in for the Zoom game, maybe next weekend for one with the Muts??? Maybe Friday night, would the one on 9//11 be too super charged here, I'm game for whichever.
I believe Bitty mentioned he could host, I think it would involve all of us sending him our contact info,,,, if I remember correctly, he had a burner Proton email that he used before to set up the logistics for our first Meet Up.

HoraceClarke67 said...

Count me in!

JM said...

Can't do the 11th, but majority rules.

HoraceClarke67 said...

Yeah, the 10th is better.

HoraceClarke67 said...

Meanwhile, on the Joey Watch:

The news will be that he dipped below the Mendoza Line on the season.

But the bigger story is that, as a Yankee, Gallo is now down to .134, with only 24 PA to catch Miggy, to become Worst Yankees Regular Ever.

Artificial Lemon Flavoring said...

Margaritas are pretty crappy when you add artificial lemon flavoring to them - and I might drown - just saying . . .

JM said...

Yeah, artificial flavors have their place, but a margarita isn't one of them.

JM said...

Gallo has been sucking badly. But Gleyber has had a lousy year, and DJ has only shown flashes of DJness. He might be coming around to the clutch guy we knew. I'll give Joey some time to work it out. It would be very unusual for him if he doesn't.

He has the coolest hair on the team, though, imo. There's always that.

Platoni said...

Fuck that guy and his shitty wine. Unless you're a college student, in which case ain't so bad.

But still, fuck that guy

JM said...

Suddenly, Boone is fielding a question about Gallo's bad slump and Kay is mentioning the .134 during the game. Somebody has decided at least one glove is off in the criticism department.

JM said...

LOL--nice drop by the LF. Just didn't catch it though he was there and it hit his glove.

E7, two bases.

JM said...

.134...from the vineyards of Ernest and Julio Gallo.

Artificial Lemon Flavoring said...

Gallo - corked or just screw-off

JM said...

The gallon jug was always a giveaway that the host really cared.

Ken of Brooklyn said...

Re> the ZOOM Meet Up, another option so it's a home game would be this Thursday 9/9 against the Jays???

JM said...

Night game. Fits right into the drinking schedule. Good for me, then.

Anonymous Bosch said...

Hold on ... hold on a minute ...

I had to do some computer work for a friend in Riga (at least she buys me dinner at my favourite restaurant when we meet in München), so I only now tuned in and we’re at the bottom of the 3rd … which is where I tuned in last night.

No score, two hits squeezed out by the O’s and none for us.

That’s exactly the way it was last night!

JM said...

Weird coinkydink.

Why not go to Riga? It's fall--men's extra heavy gold chains weather.

Anonymous Bosch said...

I've never been east of Budapest ... except for Istanbul. She's a New Yorker in name only; loves her little trips.

I'm raising my Negroni to you, (former) neighbour ... made a pitcher of 'em. Hope this coincides with your drinking schedule

JM said...

Afternoon game and I'm on the treadmill...a fitting metaphor for my life. But I heartily toast a pint of water in your direction.

Anonymous Bosch said...

"I GUESS that's what is called a 'Wild Pitch' ... That was a heckova pitch ... We gotta sweep them ..."

Platoni said...

Bosch, this has the makings of an ugly loss. Nothing is working. I suggest you gulp down your Negroni and hit the beer garden. Did Merkel open those on her way out?

JM said...

"Last night and today, they're pitching to Mateo like he's a veteran lifetime .320 hitter...I guess they see something in the scouting report..."

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!

JM said...

Today is not Monty's finest hour.

Anonymous Bosch said...

I think you mean "Today WAS not Monty's finest hour".

Biergärten are open - as long as you fit the "3G" program: geimpft (vaccinated), getestet (a negative test within the last 24-48 hours, depending on the type of test), or genesen (recovered from the virus within the past six months). Works for me!

JM said...

I like it. Wish I was there.

Leinstery said...

Monty is unbearable. Even when he doesn't give up a bunch of runs it's still an awful watch.

JM said...

But he has great stuff.

Leinstery said...

Boy DJ is a shadow of what he once was.

JM said...

He's no Lamont Cranston this season.

Platoni said...

Will Stanton go on IL for that? Probably

ZacharyA said...

Imagine what Chris Sale is gonna do to these bastards in the Wild Card Game

Anonymous said...

stanton is bailing out again. Why can't he keep his legs quiet consistantly?

Doug K.

Anonymous Bosch said...

When was the last time Joey hit anything ... a grape, a Mücke, his wife ...

Wow this is miserable - a no-hitter from the O's.

Oh! Wanda will save us!

JM said...

Wendy not good. Squid is.

HoraceClarke67 said...

Amazing. We're actually being no-hit.

Toggling back and forth between this debacle and the Mets, it's like a running seminar on everything that's wrong with major-league baseball.

Both games feel like a bad day in spring training.

Mets are playing a dispirited, stripped-down team that has decided to tank for at least this year, and the game is full of mental and physical errors.

Same with the Yankees—only they can't even get a hit. And...all proceeding at a snail's pace.

Really, baseball like this will kill baseball.

ranger_lp said...

We're now down 3-0 to a AAA team and we haven't gotten a base hit yet...and we're supposed to make the playoffs...FFS.

JM said...

Pathetic. And Wanda is still in there. Why?

Local Bargain Jerk said...


Uh oh. Monty is pitching today. Expect us to score two runs or less, at least until he's out of the game.

And....just like that, we're being no-hit.

Fun times.

JM said...

I switched to the Match Game. More entertaining.

Anonymous Bosch said...

Just like I see a Bavarian Weisswurst whenever I see Voit, when I hear Lucas Luetge I automatically think of Linda Litzke from The Coen Bros’ “Burn After Reading” – an overachieving mindless gym manager in D.C. who plots with Brad Pitt to sell lost US government files to the Russian embassy in exchange for money for a facelift.

And sometimes I think of baseball, the way it was.

By the way, do you know what happen if you overcook a Weisswurst? It explodes. Literally.

TheWinWarblist said...

I WARNED YOU!! I WARNED YOU!! BUT WOULD YOU LISTEN!?? NooooOOOOooooOOOOOO!!!

JM said...

Yep. But they are so good. Some Bavarian mustard, a nice pretzel roll...and weissbier to wash it down. Great.

Platoni said...

The same thing happens if you overwork a Yankee. He explodes...and lands on the LIST

Leinstery said...

I hate this fucking team and I especially hate the bozos who have run it into into the ground over the past decade. Hal, Coops, and everyone's favorite Randy Levine.

JM said...

Btw, Gary Burghoff is sitting in for Charles Nelson Reilly. Robert Reich in the first seat up top. Some cute girl named Jamie to Richard's right.

Nice lineup.

JM said...

Robert Urich, you stupid phone.

TheWinWarblist said...

Oh, and well done Boschy!!

TheWinWarblist said...

I offer today's headline without further comment:

"Okay, we can exhale. The terror scenario of losing to Baltimore has been exorcized... for now."



DUQUE WHAT THE FLAMING FUCK!?!?!?!!!!?!!!!

Leinstery said...

Why pitch hit Gleyber when you know he's going to hit into a double play?

JM said...

Shit, now Classic Concentration is on. The Hugh Downs version is the classic, not this one.

So batting Torres for Squid because... Boone is an idiot?

JM said...

Incredible. "Must. Play. Returned guy."

JM said...

If we're lucky he'll take a walk.

JM said...

I can hear my mom's voice..."Why is he hitting? He stinks!"

They gave him a hit on that. Generous.

Leinstery said...

He took out a lefty for a righty, to face a righty. It doesn't even makes sense by an analytics standpoint.

Almost hit into a dp.

AND FUCKING VOIT IS UP NOW?!?! It just a cavalcade of guys I don't want to see. Is Hicks returning next?

Anonymous said...

Don Quixote:windmills

Michael Kay:expanded rosters

- Melquíades

Anonymous Bosch said...

A hit, a very palpable hit!

JM said...

My God, now Voit the Whiffer for Wade.

JM said...

Double play. Of course.

JM said...

Boone is an idiot.

Leinstery said...

If Gallo wasn't on the team, I'd say Voit is the biggest bag of shit on this team.

Anonymous Bosch said...

And the Weisswurst explodes!

By the way, it's called Weizenbier.

Anonymous Bosch said...

So who's gonna toss the 9th?

JM said...

My wife from Germany says weissbier is the description of the color. Weizen is wheat. We're both right.

JM said...

So, Erdinger or Wiehenstephaner? I lean to the latter, but it doesn't make a lot of difference to me. Both are good.

ranger_lp said...

Well that was a Gallo goner....

Leinstery said...

About time he did something.

Platoni said...

I like to drink Tegenzeer while there. Best in Bavaria, I think. Plus the drawing of the fat guy whistling for his dog, while the little fucker's just standing under his belly gets me every time

ranger_lp said...

Rolaids time…

Anonymous Bosch said...

Joey Joey Joey is back UP to .200! (I always think of Joey Bishop's theme song - anybody remember him?).

I am actually not a beer-drinker. When necessary I take whatever Hefeweizen they got.

So are we going to have another 11+ inning game? But who - WHO? - will triumph?

ranger_lp said...

Rolaids got nothing...smh

Platoni said...

We can't have nice things, ever. Chapman follows one good outing with a stinker almost every time

JM said...

Wow, Bosch, I think of Joey Bishop every time Gallo comes to bat. I thought it was just me.

I hadn't been drinking beer in years, but recently enjoyed some Stiegl from Austria and the Wiehenstephaner weissbier. Very good, both of them.

Chapman imploding. Seems that if we criticize a hitter in enough, he hits. Doesn't work on Chapman much.

Anonymous Bosch said...

Toronto and Tampa Bay both leading by 3 in the (respectively) 6th and 2nd. Boston scoreless after 2.

Incalculable disasters for others! This is all we can hope for!

Local Bargain Jerk said...


Bases loaded. No outs. Top of the 9th. Tie game. Boone, please pull El Sweatbo.

Anonymous Bosch said...

He's gonna walk the winning run!

Platoni said...

Fuck this guy, too

JM said...

The wild pitch strikeout scores. Thanks, closer.

Anonymous Bosch said...

WHAT?

WILL

IT

TAKE?

FOR

THEM

TO

LEARN?????

JM said...

Not winning a wild card. Maybe.

JM said...

Have I mentioned that Boone is an idiot? His pinch hittergasm was completely idiotic, as was leaving Wendy in, and Chapman.

JM said...

I think the moths flying around in front of the camera came from Hal's wallet.

Anonymous Bosch said...

Boone, whose papa quit his job with the Nats 'cause he afraid of nasty vaccination, seems to have inherited the gene for idiocy.

And by the way:

Tampa Bay ahead 7-0 in the 3rd.

Toronto ahead by 4 in the 7th.

Boston still stalled at 0-0 after 3.

JM said...

What a horrible swing. Jesus Christ.

JM said...

Massive suck.

Anonymous said...

and they suck

Doug K.

Platoni said...

Goddamit, every time there's been a game at a decent time (for Europe), they've absolutely sucked. Can't catch a break with these assholes.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous Bosch--Joey Bishop's theme song was actually a Frank Loesser tune written for his musical "The Most Happy Fella," from which Sterling takes his Urshela homerun call--so it comes full circle back to this blog.

HoraceClarke67 said...

I refused to watch after he brought in Chappy. How many fucking times does it take?

Mets, incidentally, blew a 9-0 lead, but won 11-9 in 11. I think they truly have a better chance of making the playoff than your New York Yankees do.

Anonymous Bosch said...

Well, guys: that was, in and of itself, a perfect epitome of the last five months.

And to think: some people believe we’ll make it to the inane, embarrassing one-game Wild Card.

And with all the youth and talent cemented in Scranton and/or spread thin throughout the leagues, who will play that one game for us, IF we make it? Will Joey earn a hit? Judge nab a double? Gardy blow a bases-loaded bottom-of-the-eighth with a scorchingly simple fly-out?

Yeah: I take partial blame for the word Schadenfreude, but that’s the only way I can look at this ongoing disaster.

And did I mention that the letters/numbers on my O'Neill "21" T-shirt are literally cracking?

Kevin said...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRkA7ZFoIgQ

Anonymous said...

Anonnymouus Bosch--literally cracking? Not figuratively cracking? When did everyone unlearn the proper meaning of the word literally?

Kevin said...

You never had a t-shirt have numbers/letters that cracked? Seriously?

Rufus T. Firefly said...

Puckered is losing it even for her normal self. I guess she's never seen an actual jersey in the stand. Wonder if she's ever even been to the Bronx.

Anonymous said...

Kevin--MORON AND PROVEN FRAUD AND LIAR: The subject was the abuse of the word "literally." Pay attention, moron.

Anonymous said...

Hey anti-vaxxer Dufus: how many people did you kill today with your crackpot anti-science stupidity?

Anonymous said...

Proof that Kevin is a liar and a fraud:

Kevin said...
Joey Gallo currently has a 3.5 WAR for the season which is pretty damned good. I for one hope that we keep him next year, and just SEE. He is a player that the old stats (not denigrating "old stats" because when you know what to look for....) won't, at first glance appreciate.

IMHO, the two positional players who must be moved are Sanchez and Torres, especially Torres. We should get some decent value for him due to his potential (there are always "miracle workers who believe, or can bring him around), but especially because he's cheap. Torres is not a SS, and we have a better second baseman already. It will amaze some (all) of you that the analytics have Odor has an above average second baseman. Obviously DJ will be at second for a few more years, barring injury.
September 3, 2021 at 1:52 AM

Anonymous said...
Kevin, you pathetic bullshit artist. Odor has a 2021 defensive WAR of ZERO. His 2020 defensive WAR was MINUS 0.4. You just make shit up to promote your personal faves. You're a fraud and a liar and a moron.
September 3, 2021 at 4:53 AM

Oh--and Joey Gallo has a ZERO WAR as a Yankee.

Case closed.

Anonymous said...

Sexist anti-vaxxer psychotic Dufus thinks it's an insult to label someone with a feminine pronoun--meaning he hates women and is therefore probably a closet gay. Nice job, Dufus, you sexist slavering pig.

Kevin said...

Proving once again the old adage, 'There three kinds of liars: liars, damn liars, and statisticians'. You only quality as the second type.

And who uses the word "dufus" anymore?

Anonymous said...

Wait--Kevin, you dumb fuck. You claimed that "analytics" shows that Odor is an above-average fielder--without citing a single source or statistic, as usual, because you're a chronic bullshitter and liar. I proved that "analytics" shows no such thing--that he is, at best, an average or below-average fielder. I further proved that you are a liar and a fraud. No need to belabor the point, ya' dumb fuck. Allow me to repeat so everyone can see what a dishonest piece of shit you are:

Kevin said...
Joey Gallo currently has a 3.5 WAR for the season which is pretty damned good. I for one hope that we keep him next year, and just SEE. He is a player that the old stats (not denigrating "old stats" because when you know what to look for....) won't, at first glance appreciate.

IMHO, the two positional players who must be moved are Sanchez and Torres, especially Torres. We should get some decent value for him due to his potential (there are always "miracle workers who believe, or can bring him around), but especially because he's cheap. Torres is not a SS, and we have a better second baseman already. It will amaze some (all) of you that the analytics have Odor has an above average second baseman. Obviously DJ will be at second for a few more years, barring injury.
September 3, 2021 at 1:52 AM

Anonymous said...
Kevin, you pathetic bullshit artist. Odor has a 2021 defensive WAR of ZERO. His 2020 defensive WAR was MINUS 0.4. You just make shit up to promote your personal faves. You're a fraud and a liar and a moron.
September 3, 2021 at 4:53 AM

Oh--and Joey Gallo has a ZERO WAR as a Yankee.

Case closed.

Anonymous said...

Dufus because it's a rhyming play on Rufus, ya' dumb fuck. And who claims to cite analytics without citing a single stat and then reviles "analytics" when they show the opposite of what he claims they show? A fraudulent dumb fuck and fraud like you, Kev. For example:

Kevin said...
Joey Gallo currently has a 3.5 WAR for the season which is pretty damned good. I for one hope that we keep him next year, and just SEE. He is a player that the old stats (not denigrating "old stats" because when you know what to look for....) won't, at first glance appreciate.

IMHO, the two positional players who must be moved are Sanchez and Torres, especially Torres. We should get some decent value for him due to his potential (there are always "miracle workers who believe, or can bring him around), but especially because he's cheap. Torres is not a SS, and we have a better second baseman already. It will amaze some (all) of you that the analytics have Odor has an above average second baseman. Obviously DJ will be at second for a few more years, barring injury.
September 3, 2021 at 1:52 AM

Anonymous said...
Kevin, you pathetic bullshit artist. Odor has a 2021 defensive WAR of ZERO. His 2020 defensive WAR was MINUS 0.4. You just make shit up to promote your personal faves. You're a fraud and a liar and a moron.
September 3, 2021 at 4:53 AM

Oh--and Joey Gallo has a ZERO WAR as a Yankee.

Case closed.