Done with tomato cans (for now), the Yankees face a true threat

Over the last few weeks, we've pleasured ourselves with some old-fashioned, jolly-good, family fun - waterboarding the likes of Cleveland, Baltimore and KC.

All we needed was a can-opener.

Such a joyous time... early leads... blowouts... late rallies... If we botched something, they gave it back. Nobody touched our bullpen (Mean Chad Green notwithstanding.) Joey Gallo hit two HRs, DJ LeMaheiu returned to 2020, and Aaron Judge formally launched his contract year surge. Even El Chapo - pitching himself in and out of sweat-dripping deliriums - did not melt down. Good times, good soups, enjoyed by all... 

This is how you win the division: Go 9-0 against Lehigh Valley. 

Now comes the rub. Toronto. Last time we engaged, back home in Gotham, we split a knock-kneed, four-game series, winning twice by shutting them out. In the most memorable game, Vladimir Guerrero hit three HRs, humbling Gerrit Cole, who did well enough just to pitch into the fifth. 

Cole won't see the Jays this week - and probably not next week, either, when Toronto returns to NY for two.

By then, we should have an honest read on the 2022 Yankees. At least a few questions answered: 

1. Is our pitching staff that good?  Thus far, at 2.72, the Yankees have the 2nd best team ERA in baseball. (The Dodgers, with an unbelievable 2.33, are first; the Mets right behind us, at .299.) Toronto ranks 19th, between Clevo and Balto. 

The jury remains out on Luis Severino, and Nasty Nestor could turn out to be an April mirage. Still, the coronation of Michael King and (newly plunged to Scranton) Clarke Schmidt could provide insurance against a collapse. Speaking of the Railriders, we have seven Triple A pitchers with ERA's below 2.00 - plus Manny Banuelos, everybody's comeback fantasy, at 2.16.

We have one of the deepest arsenals of Show-worthy pitching in baseball. 

2. Can we keep hitting? The Yankees are tied with Toronto for the most HRs in baseball, with 31. (We are fifth in team batting, at .249; the Blue Jays are eighth, at .243.) Giancarlo Stanton rises and falls, and who knows what to expect from Gallo? After that, no one Yankee is suffering an existential slump. (Donaldson at .208 and Gleyber at .222 might be closest, but both have recently delivered big hits.) 

3. When will the injuries hit? This leads to a massive, fantastical theorem of quantum Yankee physics: Is there a random sequence - an algorithm, to the Elon Musk crowd - to our perpetually tweakable gonads?

After a decade of absorbing huge battlefield injuries - and replacing trainers every winter - could the Yankees enjoy a season without losing the entire of cast of Glee to strained and sprained whatevers? 

Frankly, I dunno. But I can't imagine a season without setbacks. Brace yourselves for something bad. Something tells me, Suzyn, we're not in Kansas anymore...