After Tampa and the Yanks - high and far above the rest - only two American League teams stand above the Gene Mauch Line of Tomato Cannery.
Meanwhile, in the NL, eight teams are above .500, and tonight, we'll see what a non-cupcake looks like. The Yankees face the Brewers - a team of bunts, steals and defense - missing ingredients that have plagued the Death Barge since 2009 (though that has changed with the arrival of one Jose Caballero, right?) Milwaukee sports MLB's 9th best record. We won't be playing Baltimore anymore.
The Yankees are tied with the Cubs and Braves for MLB's best record, with Tampa a half-game behind. Then come the Dodgers who - oh, fukkit, they'll spend $100 million at the trade deadline and win it all, anyway, right? Why kid ourselves?
But but BUT... this weekend just got a lot more interesting...
1. Forget Dos Equis beer. The Most Interesting Man in the World (of Baseball) has joined the team. Yes, Spencer Jones! who was busting fences in Moosic. We're finally going to see him, live, full-sized and in-person.
No more bogus stats about swing-and-miss rates or barreled balls - (who cares if they're barrels, if they don't bother his wife.) For four years, we've been hearing about this dude - his size (6'6"), his power (the 2nd highest exit velo batted ball in 2026) and his speed (I'll take their word for it.) Last time the Yankees brought up an outfielder with such beautistics, he only turned out to be the best hitter in baseball.
Look: Jones won't be the next Judge. But he might be the next Joey Gallo, the one we thought we were getting a few years ago, before he turned out to be Rob Deer. (If you're under 70, you might have to google him.) For years now, Jones has been the most intriguing prospect in the organization, if not in all of baseball, and now - finally - we'll get a taste.
If he's outclassed, well, it won't take long for the Scranton bus to arrive. But I can't think of a less stressful place to launch a career than in Milwaukee, the home of Oprah Winfrey, Harley-Davidson, and cheap beer. On top of it, Giancarlo Stanton will soon return and end the experiment, regardless of what's happening.
And if over the next week, Jones hits - aw, let's say 20 HRs - we'll cope with the strikeouts.
2. I keep telling myself not to be concerned about Ben Rice. And I'm not. Sorta, anyway. Nope. I'm good here.
Oh, hell, I'm terrified. And we all should be.
Here's the problem: Rice still leads all of MLB in OPS - 1.214 - above Yordan Alvarez, Mike Trout and - yes - Aaron Judge. Now that he's injured and missing a few games, he has basically no place to go but down.
When he returns from the bone bruise, every stat wonk in YES captivity will start counting BEFORE and AFTER numbers. It's hard to imagine Rice improving on production before the injury. So, when he returns (tonight?) he'll slump, and that will become the defining numbers of his still-young season.
Why why why... do Yankee injuries always seem to coincide with hot streaks?
3. Beginning tonight, we will throw Max Fried, Cam Schlittler and Carlos Rodon. Clearly, the weak link is... Rodon.
Imagine that.
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It's May, which follows April and precedes June. Eagle flies on Friday. I was just reminded - my inner 8th-grader - of one of my favorite posts on this blog, when one of us - I no longer remember who - was talking about "launch angle" and "exit velocity" in relation to sitting on the toilet. I love you all. It's May. We shall see. It's a long season.
Ryan Westhers knows launch angle and exit velocity.
Weather's. How the f did autocorrect come up with that.😤
Baseball is a cruel sport
It’s mean
It’s heartless
It’s cold
And long
So very, very long
May will be OK
We’ll Swoon in June
PooP - is it Friday already…..
Wasn't there some song that went like "...flying high in April, shot down in May"....?
If you only poop on Friday, 💩 I would recommend miralax.
Yes, Joe, "That's Life", recorded by old blue eyes himself.
Every time I see "Spencer", I'm reminded of a rather embarrassing, teary plea Katherin Hepburn made to Spencer Tracy, who had been fairly long dead. On national TV. Looking into the camera.
Wasn't pretty, the poor woman.
Exactly Rufus - I was trying to, uh, like you know - lend a hand to those in here that needed to be reminded.
She did however have her moments in the sun
Wes Westrum.
The AL is, indeed, a disgrace. Interesting to see if we can win the series in MIL.
The Brewers seem much like the Rays, who kicked out collective asses a few weeks ago.
We can be hopeful about Jones, but he’s the sort of hitter who gets exploited by MLB pitching, I think the Gallo/Deer comps are very fair. But good luck to him, and to us.
About fucking time, says I. But already 24 years old. Hope they didn't waste his best years in the minors.
Yesterday, Jasson Dominguez doesn't make that catch a year ago. So he's certainly improved defensively. But I wouldn't have had him out there in the Yankee Stadium sun field. If Judge has to DH, that means Dominguez sits that game, for me.
I was at first angry that Aaron Boone had seemingly made another stupid baseball decision to get his player injured. Then, looking at it from the angle of Yankee management, Boone probably wanted Dominguez to get injured. Now Dominguez is out at least a month, probably a couple of months. Then they can once again disappear him to the minors for the rest of the year. That means Dominguez doesn't make much money, doesn't have an exploding salary for management to worry about, doesn't develop and help the team win, doesn't start the clock running on his free agency, etc.
Yankee management knows what it's doing. They play the long game. It's a poker game for them; money management is the key. And they play the percentages and they do it well. It's hard to understand because we think from the perspective of fans who want the Yankees to win. But that's not what Yankee management does.
So now Yankee management gets to toy with Spencer Jones. Wonder how they'll ruin his career. They will figure out something, I'm sure.
Ben Rice - a bone bruise - trying to catch a throw from the pitcher? What the hell? I'm not sure I've ever heard of that one. My first impression was that he must've damaged his wrist somehow, possibly in the weight room, and trying to catch the throw handcuffed him and was the straw that broke the camel's back. We might be finding out how Yankee management is scheming to topple Rice's breakout year.
Man, and I thought that I was cynical😉
I'm surprised that nobody in baseball has ever been nicknamed "The Human Enema." What talent could that represent? Clearing the bases? Flushing the side? A swinging three-strike at bat? How can we depriving little kids of this learning opportunity?
I am all too sure you are right, Hammer.
Of course, any manager worth his salt would've said, 'Hmm, young player, has trouble with the corner slots, runs very fast...I know! Centerfield! (cue the music) But wait! Who do we have out there??? Oh, some guy who hits .215 lifetime and strikes out all the time. Great! Problem solved!'
But not with the Yankees.
Smile for a while and let's be jolly baseball shouldn't be so melancholy... Yankees offense, as ranked across MLB: Runs 2nd, OPS 2nd, SLG 2nd, OBP 4th, HR first, SB 2nd. ERA First, WHIP First, SO Ninth, SHO First. I mean, come on! This is a good fucking team!
Damn, I just jinxed them🤐😟
No denying it. They do look good. And that could change in a heartbeat.
Oh, dear. Now someone is going to have a heart attack.
Man, and I thought that I was cynical
I mean negative
Wait, no. . . . a, uh nihilist
Or maybe I'm just a YANKEE FAN
yeah, that's it
Hoss,
I just looked out the window and people are dropping like flies.
Just falling to the ground.
Women, Men, Children.
Golly, dude.
Every time the Yankees win, a Red Sox fan's soul gets crushed. Sadly, no curse has been reversed. We have a long, treacherous season in front of us. Luckily, WE WILL NEVER LOSE AGAIN.
I would take Mickey Tettleton at this point.
Fuck CashBrain.
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