Monday, June 1, 2026

Without jinxing him (that is, remaining vulgar and cynical) let us now ponder the season that Ben Rice is having

For many moons now, whenever Aaron Judge steps to the plate, Yank fans drunkenly break into a chant of "Hurt-Your-Body? Call Harding Mazzoti!"   "EM-VEE-PEE... EM-VEE-PEE..."

From now on, after Judge hits, they should just keep chanting.
 
Entering the month of June, Ben Rice is a prime contender - actually, THE bull-goose frontrunner - to win the AL Triple Crown, the first since 2012, when Miguel Cabrera did it. (Before him, Carl Yastrzemski, in 1967.; both are in the Hall.)

You can look it up. Today, Rice is tied for 3rd in HRs...


He leads the AL in RBIs. 


He is 3rd in batting average.


He leads all of MLB in OPS. He should be the AL All-Star 1B and receive a bigger marketing deal than selling Ben's Original Boil-in-Bag Long Grain Rice. 

Most of all, Rice could be a generational rarity - the lifelong Yankee star, which appears maybe once a decade. A player who wears only pinstripes. This is more than simply playing for one team - Zolio Almonte, CJ Nitkowski, Colter Bean, etc. - blips, who hatch like mayflies, don the NY and disappear. This is the Yankee equivalent of being a Five-Timer Host of SNL.

Since 2000, here's the list of iconic Yankee Lifers: They only played for one team.  

Derek Jeter
Mariano Rivera
Jorge Posada
Bernie Williams
Brett Gardner
Masahiro Tanaka

Today, we have a few active candidates. 

Aaron Judge (duh)
Ben Rice
Cam Schlittler 
Jasson Dominguez
Anthony Volpe

Yes, we're reading a lot into The Martian and Volpe, whose careers are still in front of them. Same with Rice and Schlittler. And could Judge join another team at the end of his career? You can't be a Yankee Lifer if you wear a forbidden jersey. 

Consider some non-lifers, who remain great Yanks. (Since 2000)

Paul O'Neill
Andy Pettite
Orlando Hernandez
Hideki Matsui 
DJ LeMahiue

And those who squandered their chances, and shall live forever in Yankee infamy:

Robinson Cano
Juan Soto

Okay, let's not put Rice in the Hall, just yet. Let him win the Triple Crown. (And note to juju gods, this is not a jinx. We're not saying Rice is any good. In fact, he's terrible, okay? So keep your curses to yourselves.)

10 comments:

Rufus T. Firefly said...

He'll never get the triple crown. Bonehead Boonie will feel an overwhelming need to rest him for extended periods so he'll be rested for that one game playoff, that he will also rest him in, because analytics.

And they will lose that game also.

JM said...

So far, Rice looks great and Judge...er... doesn't.

But just wait until he snaps out of it and the hits .375 for the rest of the season! Yeah, that's the ticket. .375, no problem.

And 50...75 home runs. 75, and a date with... Morgan Fairchild. She's a frien... girlfrien.. ex-wife of mine.

BTR999 said...

OK, let’s dial it back a bit on Rice. I’m just trying to be real here.There is little in his past performance to support him being a Triple Crown winner. Even Judge at his peak couldn’t do that. It’s more likely that a large correction is coming, which is bad since he’s unquestionably been our best offensive performer. I hope I’m wrong, since the rest of our offense has been so scattershot.

What I’m saying is, we need to know Rice from Wrong.

AboveAverage said...

Does Morgan still chew on her ice?

It use to drive people crazy.

Crunch, crunch, crunch!

HoraceClarke66 said...

LOVE it, JM! And 999!

HoraceClarke66 said...

And don't forget, Miggy's Triple Crown was really a juiced one. Almost 60 years since the last, legitimate one.

HoraceClarke66 said...

So other Yankee Life stars:

1920s-30s: Gehrig, Combs, Gomez, Dickey, Rolfe
1930s-40s: DiMaggio, Rizzuto, Chandler
1940s-50s: Bauer
1950s-60s: Mantle, Ford, McDougald
1960s-70s: Stottlemyre, White, Munson
1970s-80s: Guidry
1980s-90s: Mattingly

That IS rare. Must be more. Who am I missing?

HoraceClarke66 said...

Another note on the rarity of yesterday's game: I have been watching baseball on all levels for 60 years now. And never have I ever, on any level—sandlot, Little League, Pony League, Legion ball, Town Team, Junior High, High School, College, Minor League or Major, seen:

—The first 12 batters in an inning reach base.
—A team bat around twice.

Interesting.

el duque said...

Lawrence Peter Berra should not be disqualified for appearing in four games with the 1965 Mets, two years after leaving the Yankees. But hey, rules are rules, eh?

TheWinWarblist said...

No more Pimento.