Name The November Employee Of The Month Now!

El Duque,

I come before you with a humble and contrite heart.

I also come before you on behalf of Yankee fans everywhere.

I recognize that the people just named Kate Hudson Employee Of The Month for October.

But we are in November now.

And, for better or worse, November is the month that counts.

Use your power, kind sir, and name Hideki Matsui the November Employee Of The Month now!

Yes you can!

Hits for food

Newly-wed Mr. Matsui has confided to me (secretly of course) that he now has more incentive in the batters box than for scoring runs or increasing his batting average.

Mr. Matsui is actually hitting for dinner.

Yes, his lovely wife will prepare him food depending on how he does at the games. From the rough translation, I was able to analyze the hit/food breakdown:

1B = small side

2B = dessert

3B = never going to happen with his knees
HR = entree (frozen TV dinner if it's a solo shot)

Batting eighth...

Hideki Matsui?

Damon LF
Jeter SS
Abreu RF
Rodriguez 3B
Giambi 1B
Posada C
Cano 2B
Matsui DH
Cabrera CF

And what happens after Giambi proves he can't field 1B?

Exclusive: Matsui's Other Women!

Look what fell into the hands of the IT IS HIGH I-Team -- exclusive photos of the other women in the life of Yankee slugger Hideki Matsui!

What a scoop, as you'll soon see.

Let's begin with the happy ending. This week, Hideki showed the world the final stop on his subway ride to true love. His new wife (kinda). That's her speaking into the microphone.


O0-La-La is all we have to say. Yet, as one examines Hideki's batting order of love, one discovers a lineup of broken hearts and a bullpen of failed dreams. Yet, it is an inspiring story, one of persistence and courage.

Let's tell it.

Soon after Hideki arrived in America, he met a young groupie named Lucy, who lived in Queens, we think. Their brief fling ended in the fall during football season, shortly after a picnic in Central Park when the two were attempting to kick field goals with some of the local kids.
Next came a woman named Vilma, a proctologist from the Bronx.


Things were going well with Vilma until Hideki was wooed away by the charms of her office assistant, Daphne!

Daphne was not the kind of girl who wanted a long-term relationship. She dumped him into the arms of her high-school friend, Veronica.


Hideki fell hard for Veronica. But her love of fame and money meant for a shallow relationship, one that left Hideki feeling empty and depressed. First he turned to Mountain Dew, then to booze, then the arms of ... Rosie

Rosie, however, had other plans. And men weren't in them.

Once again, Hideki hit the streets. He had a brief fling with someone he thought was a Wonderful Woman, but he turned out to be a wonderful man (not that there's anything wrong with that).

Hideki's head spun! He felt as if he might never attain the kind of love a leftfielding titan from the Yankees deserved. Then, one day, he opened up a letter from home, and in it he discovered the woman of his dreams ...

Her identity remains a mystery.

But isn't love a mystery?

And isn't true love even more mysterious?

Maybe not as mysterious as Einstein's search for the universal constant or what the heck the ancient Egyptians meant by building the sphinx or what Mona Lisa is smiling about, but love is still pretty mysterious.

You bet it is.

Matsui Weds !!!

Hideki Matsui won the bet with Derek and Bobby Abreu on which of these three bachelors on the prowl would first marry.

Hideki snuck off to Manhattan yesterday and tied a knot.

Eliot Spitzer, Gov. MCGreavy and two unnamed partners of the former Governors' stood by his side. Jose Conseco's wife attended, and " flashed " as she sang the Japanese Wedding march, but the famous author himself was in Amarillo working on his bike.

There is great mystery as to who the bride is. Hideki did hold up a pencil sketch of her, but that was not enough to satisfy this intrepid reporter or the fans and followers of " It is High..."

Above are some key photos from the wedding ceremony and, for the right amount I will reveal which is the new Mrs. M.

As a special bonus, I will pay $500 US for the person who correctly identifies Alphonso in the top photo.