Look what fell into the hands of the IT IS HIGH I-Team -- exclusive photos of the other women in the life of Yankee slugger Hideki Matsui!
What a scoop, as you'll soon see.
Let's begin with the happy ending. This week, Hideki showed the world the final stop on his subway ride to true love. His new wife (kinda). That's her speaking into the microphone.
O0-La-La is all we have to say. Yet, as one examines Hideki's batting order of love, one discovers a lineup of broken hearts and a bullpen of failed dreams. Yet, it is an inspiring story, one of persistence and courage.
Let's tell it.
Soon after Hideki arrived in America, he met a young groupie named Lucy, who lived in Queens, we think. Their brief fling ended in the fall during football season, shortly after a picnic in Central Park when the two were attempting to kick field goals with some of the local kids.
Next came a woman named Vilma, a proctologist from the Bronx.
Things were going well with Vilma until Hideki was wooed away by the charms of her office assistant, Daphne!
Daphne was not the kind of girl who wanted a long-term relationship. She dumped him into the arms of her high-school friend, Veronica.
Hideki fell hard for Veronica. But her love of fame and money meant for a shallow relationship, one that left Hideki feeling empty and depressed. First he turned to Mountain Dew, then to booze, then the arms of ... Rosie
Rosie, however, had other plans. And men weren't in them.
Hideki's head spun! He felt as if he might never attain the kind of love a leftfielding titan from the Yankees deserved. Then, one day, he opened up a letter from home, and in it he discovered the woman of his dreams ...
3 comments:
New York Post headline:
BRIDE OF GODZILLA!
Thank God it's not Britney!
Matsui should quit baseball: become an artist.
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