Our favorite Martian deserves a new nickname: How about "Clickbait?"

The Information Superhighway buzzed yesterday after a sports site opined that Yankee prospect Jasson Dominiquez is - at age 18 - "more advanced" than Mike Trout was at the same stage of his career.

At age 12, Macaulay Culkin was more advanced than Brad Pitt. At 14, Hanson was ahead of the Beatles, and at 16, Greta Thunberg would surely beat Al Gore. 

Which brings me to the greatest revelation I've gleaned from 12 months un pandemic home arrest, clicking my way across the Internet: Did you know that former child stars don't look the same 30 years later? Holy crap! Some enterprising journalist ought to rank them! (Number 43 will absolutely BLOW... YOUR... MIND!) 

So, yesterday, from the assembly line of crapola - the NY Post on Twitter - vaulted this gem:

Let's be brief. And no link. With camps opening, Dominiquez will soon roam the streets of Tampa, drawing coos from the predatorial Lolitas who happen to be more "advanced" at their pubescent flowering than was Dolly Parton, before the equipment arrived. He will surely be entering his Prime of Miss Jean Brodie... if not Miss Jean Brodie herself.

Here is what happens when a site hypes Dominquez:

1. The site generates traffic.

2. The kid's hat size expands.

3. The prospect's fate - as a future letdown - is sealed. 

Imagine this: Unless Dominiquez turns into the greatest player of his generation - i.e. Trout - to some, he will be a disappointment.

This is terrible. Nobody should carry such a burden. If Dominiquez ever reaches the majors, or becomes a serviceable player, he will still face honking catcalls from opposing fans and ill-tempered Gammonites. 

All for a few clicks on a slow news day.

Cashman on pitching: "We understand it comes with risk. Can they stay healthy? Can they pitch in New York? Can they pitch in the AL East?”

Pineda and Paxton and Gray, (oh my.)

Joel Sherman looks at Jameson Taillon and sees a troubling past. 

Seemingly minor pickups this week could be huge by summer... but what about Gardy?

In the last 72 hours, the Death Barge has signed three cagey vets to non-disclosure agreements minor league deals, and - frankly, all life decisions should be this easy. 

I speak for the Yankiverse in saying, "Keep the old guys coming, Mr. Hal!"

Sunday brought Jay Bruce. Yesterday ushered in the return of Justin Wilson - a 34 year-old LH innings-eater, who slots into the bullpen between Mean Chad Green and before Luis Cessa (both of whom we obtained in a trade for Wilson long ago.) 

Here are Wilson's beautistics: 

Today's acquisition is Robinson Chirinos, a RH catcher who'll soon turn 37. Chirinos played against us for Houston in the 2019 post-season: he went 0-13, thank you, amid the coded clanging of Astro trash cans. He could battle Kyle Higoshioka for backup playing time - that is, if Gary Sanchez comes to realize why he was benched last October. (Hint: One-four-seven.) Here are Chirinos' numbers:

Again, I see no downside to patrolling the waiver wires and nursing homes for retreaded bodies - especially considering last year's non-season. 

There is, however, the unresolved matter of Brett Gardner... 

These pre-camp signings seem to boost the possibility that the Yankees do NOT intend to keep Gardy. (Note: I'll believe this when it happens.) 

I realize that IT IS HIGH readers seem divided on Gardner: His return could jam up Clint Frazier, who needs a full season in the way that Galveston currently needs snow plows. Still... the sight of Gardy in another uniform? 

No. Just... no. 

Either way, Gardy's fate must be resolved soon. No more waiting. Today. And then let's sign more codgers.

A thing that makes you go, "Huh."

 DJ LeMahieu is 6 for 9 with three home runs against Chris Sale.

The Yankees' interest in fortifying their bullpen is a reminder of last year's failure

A common thread played out in last October's ALCS: 

Whenever the Yankees rallied, Tampa brought in some new bullpen stud - they had a lifetime supply - and, poof, everything melted. At the start of 2020, our staff of relievers was hailed as the best in baseball. By the end, our Geiko calls to the bullpen were being answered by Cellino & Barnes.

We can parse many reasons for this. Basically, we never found one young breakout reliever. Whenever someone looked promising, he got whacked. 

For a while, Michael King encouraged us. His final ERA: 7.76. 

Nick Nelson briefly gave hope. He finished at 4.79.

Albert Abreu? The cannon arm? His came in at - yikes! - a 20.25 ERA. (That's no typo or a mix-up with the lone hit from Zager & Evans.)

Miguel Yajure? Well, he's now a Pirate. Ben Heller is gone. Michael Holder is gone. James Reeves? A Padre. Gone guys.

We spent March heralding the wave of young arms. We spent last October turning over rocks. We had described the Yankee Tampa complex - with Forbin Project computers to track spin rates and exit-velo - akin to Professor X's Mutant Academy. But instead of the Beast, we got the Spleen. Of course, we blame Covid. But every team in baseball faced the same virus. We kept slogging, waiting for someone to arrive. Nobody did. Tampa's staff came of age, and that's China Town, Jake.

Which brings me to the latest rumor: The Yankees are said to be in "serious" talks with Justin Wilson, the 33-year-old lefty who is remembered fondly as the guy we once traded to get Mean Chad Green. One problem: Wilson is also talking with the Mets, setting up perhaps the first time that Steve Cohen and Hal Steinbrenner go head-to-head in a bidding war. (Spoiler alert: I'd bet on Cohen.)

Right now, here's the Yank bullpen:

Aroldis Chapman, 33.
Zack Britton, 33.
Chad Green, 30.
Luis Cessa, 29.
Darren O'Day, 38.
Jonathan Loaisiga, 26.
King, 26.
Nelson, 25.
Abreu, 25.
Brooks Kriske, 26.
Kyle "Bear Claw" Barraclough, 30.
Asher "Wojo" Wojciechowski, 32.
Hey, there, you? Yeah, you. Wanna try on a uniform?

The 2021 Yankees look like an old, fragile team with a lot of uncertainties. They could win the division by 10 games. Or they could be dumping salaries at the deadline. 

Jay Bruce: Yankee for a month? Or the new Gardy?

Yesterday afternoon, the word "Gardner" became one of the top trending topics on Twitter. No, Melania hadn't announced her giant Venus flytrap sanctuary at Mar-a-Lago. It was Yank fans, wondering if the signing of Jay Bruce signaled the end of Brett Gardner's time in Gotham. 

Most opined, no: The Bronx is big enough for two aging LH outfielders. They noted that Bruce - who failed to hit his weight in 2020 - signed a minor league contract. Thus, no harm, no foul. If Bruce struggles - well - we'll be riding out that night to case the promised land.

So... Bruce. Basically, he's the quintessential short-term slugger who peaks at 26, flounders at 30, falls off the boat at 32. (Take a good hard look, Red Thunder.) Now - 33 - he's one more 0-for-April streak from forced retirement. 

As you see, Bruce is a HR/K/BB machine, a graduate of the Gary Sanchez School of Lunging. In last year's Covid season, he reached a new level of dreadfulness - hitting below .200. He is not an everyday OF for a contender.

But but but... as a Yankee, Bruce would almost never face lefties. A full platoon hitter. Here are his career splits:

Not exactly Ron Blomberg, but better than Swoosh Sanchez. For the record, here are Gardy's career splits.
 

It would be nice to have a guy who absolutely crushes RH pitchers, but apparently, this is what the scrap heap offers, for now. 

So, why did they sign Bruce? Some theories.

1. The Yankees actually do plan to jettison Gardy. (I'll believe this when it happens.) 

2. They're playing mind games with Gardy in contract talks. (Won't work.)

3. They expect our Bermuda Triangle - Judge, Stanton and Hicks - to miss substantial time with injuries. (Do they know something? Last year, we found out in February that none were ready.) 

4. They think Bruce can play backup 1B? Because they need one. (In his career, he's played 51 games at 1B.)

5. They're doing this as a favor to Bruce or his agent. He gets an audition. (To mangle Sinatra: If he can't make it there, he can maybe still make it anywhere.) 

The 2021 Yankees will carry at least four backups. A catcher (Higgy.) An infielder (Wade or Thairo). A speed/defense OF (Green, Tauchman, or Gardy.) A solid hitter (Andujar, Gardner, Tauchman, Ford, Bruce?) Preferably a lefty.

Theoretically, there is room for Bruce and Gardy. If the Rays bring in a big righty, Gardy gets on base, and then Bruce smashes the HR.  

Yesterday's deal didn't necessarily end the Gardy Era. But the two Mikes - Ford and Tauchman - they should worry.

Are the Yankees really going to nickel-and-dime Brett Gardner?

I would hate to wait on Hal Steinbrenner in a diner. Something tells me, he's one of those guys who deducts taxes from the tip. On a $10 tab, he leaves nickels and a dime, talks incessantly on the phone and empties the "Need a Penny?" coin cup near the register. When he comes in, the waitresses take a break.   

This week, an Interweb report suggested that the Yankees' reunion with Brett Gardner is not the certainty we're certain of. It said the Death Star has yet to make Gardy an offer - with mere days before camp opens.

Apparently, the front office is playing chicken with Gardner, trying to wrangle a few spare pennies from the table. It's an authentic question to wonder if the Yankees actually need Gardy - another OF, albeit a lefty bat? But really, people, who here does not expect Gardy to re-sign? Show of hands? That's what I thought. 

Nobody expects to see him in another uniform.

So, here's the question: How much hemming and hawing should they apply to negotiations over their de facto captain? Are they really going to quibble over every thin dime? Is this how the cold winter of 2021 slides into spring, with the Yankee ownership fighting over every last 5-cent bottle deposit?

The Yankees seem content to field a competitive team in the AL East. This comes at a crossroads season, with several stars hitting their primes (Cole, Voit, Gleyber, Judge) or twilights (El Chapo, Stanton, Britton), and one additional cog - a LH bat or bullpen lug nut - could make the difference. But they have stopped. And now, are they really going to quibble over the price of Gardy? 

Sad.

The last week of bargain hunting, and the Yankees should be on the prowl

For me, the greatest Yankee moment of the entire 2010s came Oct. 8, 2017, courtesy of the former future Yank great, Greg "Birdie" Bird. 

That night, I happened to be holed-up in Manhattan, at Foley's sports bar, watching an elevated TV with two soulmate strangers who shall forever live inside my head. Bird homered off Cleveland's Andrew Miller, detonating Yankee Stadium, and leaving no doubt - none, whatsoever! - this was our year. (It was all downhill from there.) 

In my final moments on earth, if I'm lucky enough to have wits, that blast will be one of the cherished memories I call upon to ease my passage into the real post-season. 

Greg Bird... thank you, sir.

Yesterday, in the agate of MLB Transactions, I learned that Birdie has signed a minor league deal with the Colorado Rockies. He's looking to snag a LH platoon slot at 1B, and the Rockies look to be a miserable team. I wish him the best, and before you snicker, keep this in mind: He's 28, one year older than Luke Voit was, when traded to the Yankees.

So spins the wheel. In yesterday's agate, Toronto signed our old friend David Phelps - now 34 - for a bullpen shot. In another week, the Yankees will welcome his former rookie teammate, Adam Warren. They arrived in 2012, when Phelpsie threw 99 innings with an ERA of 3.34. 

Blink, and ten years pass.

'Tis the week before spring training, and all through baseball, the music has stopped, and folks are scrambling for open seats. Soon, the Yankees will almost certainly sign Brett Gardner - (whether they need him is another matter.)  Gardy is a fixture, as close to iconic status as we have. Apparently, our owner has no plans to cut last minute deals. Winning would be nice, but he's made it clear: Cutting luxury taxes is the Prime Objective. Money doesn't grow on trees, even if his could stack to the moon and back. 

More than 100 free agents remain unsigned, including many old friends. Mark Melancon. Ivan Nova. Jackie Bradely Jr. Yoenis Cespedes (Humanis Centepedes). Tyler Clippard. Chasen Shreve. Pat Venditte. Shane Greene. Ben Gamel. Todd Frazier. Matt Harvey. Ian Kennedy. Cameron Maybin. David Robertson. Austin Romine. Here's a tracker list. 

Make no mistake: Some of these guys could help the Yankees.   

I refer you James Paxton, who is supposedly wowing in workouts.

Of course, he's not Corey Kluber or Jameson Tailon - who have missed most of the last two years. Paxton actually pitched in 2020 - five starts - and nearly returned for the playoffs. He's far more a known commodity than the two reclamation projects, or for that matter, Luis Severino. Wouldn't it make sense to give him a try?

Why am I bothering? Won't happen.

There's talent out there - chess pieces, lottery tickets and lug nuts. All we need is an owner. 

How Far and How Often?

 The pundits of baseball have decided that, during the pandemic season, the baseball did not have enough heft.   Lightweights were clubbing homers by the score.  It was hurting the game.  Homers or strikeouts...that was pretty much it.

To add fairness and balance to the second season of Covid, the Council of Great Brains have decided to add weight and mass to the ball.  

Here is a photo of he new ball, before the cowhide cover ( and mud from the Delaware ) has been added:

My question is;  how far and how often can Giancarlo loft this one?  

The Yankees have the greatest home run hitter in fantasy baseball.  He stands 6'7" and weighs 255 pounds.  He dead-lifts three cheerleaders. 

And let's not forget how the Yankees were blessed when Giancarlo mysteriously opted to remain with the Yankees for the next seven years of his contract........despite all the other teams willing to pay so much more for him ( the details of these offers were kept secret, so that no one would be embarrassed ).

So Giancarlo now gets a dead ball to hit out.  It has a larger circumference and he may improve his " made contact" stat.  

Who can't wait for this season to begin?  

Today’s Question: Would You Be OK With The Yankees Sucking On A Regular Basis If They Won A WS Every Few Years?

Once again an El Duque post has given me food for thought. 

His exploration of the methodology of the Red Sox franchise, as they trade a guy who should have been their poster boy for the next seven years to build up their farm, shows the stark difference between their front office and ours.   

I thought Benintendi was going to be somebody. He made a play in LF against us that was one of the most graceful catches and spins without smashing into the wall that I had ever seen. I remember thinking, "Uh oh! This guy's gonna kill us for years."

Just goes to show that you can't predict baseball.

Boston's willingness to suck, blow it up, rebuild, win it all, and then suck again leads me to ask…

Is it better to have radical ups and downs as long as you deliver repeated World Series titles within a reasonable time frame? 

Or, is it better to always be competitive and make the playoffs but not do the obvious and necessary things to put the team in the best possible position to win it all? Choosing the philosophy that, “You can’t win it unless you’re in it and eventually the stars will align?".

Quick note: The Red Sox sell out and make tons of money as well, so it’s not an economics question. Plus, if we were looking at another team as a role model the Dodgers are by far and away the way to go. But that ain't happening.  So...

Put more succinctly:  Would you be OK with the Yankees sucking on a regular basis if we won a WS every few years?  

With Benintendi trade, Boston signals a longer, deeper, darker - perhaps pandemic-long - tank

Yesterday, the once-formidable Redsocks convened a threesome with KC and the Sunshine Gang Mets, trading ex-World Series hero Andrew Benintendi - at seemingly the most bottomless trench of his career - for a pile of prospects, most of whom are like horses you've been to the desert with - no names. 

Don't pop the corks just yet. As with any deal, Lucifer lurks in the DNA - in this case, five "kids" (one is 26, same age as Benintendi) who might resuscitate Boston's moribund farm system (along with a high draft pick this summer.) Time will decide. Today's headlines fixate on Benintendi - who is banished to Kansas City, never to be seen again. 

Boston's haul: Three PTBNLs - players to be named later -one disappointment and one young arm - both of whom have now been traded twice in two years - generally, a bad bad bad omen. They are:

Franchy Cordero, a hulking (6'3, 226) lefty OF from Dominica, who is now in his third MLB franchise. Originally one of the prospects destined to revive San Diego, Cordero flopped with the Padres and was flipped to KC for Tim Hill. (Yes, THE Tim Hill, whoever that is.) He hit .211 last year in the Covid season. He is 26 - same as Benintendi. Looks good coming off the bus. Dunno.

And Josh Winckowki, 22, a hulking (6'4, 204 - aren't they all hulking?) RH pitcher who has bounced from the Blue Jays to the Mets and now, taddah, Boston - three Yank rivals - before even reaching Double A. For you prospect-ratings freaks, he slots in as #30 on the Redsocks' list of farm crops.  Hmm.

This trade doesn't blow you away, unless you'd gotten sick of Benintendi, who missed most of last season - only 52 plate appearances, with a Gary Sanchez-like .103 BA and no - zero, zilch, (0) - HRs. And that followed an underwhelming 2019, when Benny Biceps hit .266 with 13 HRs. His glory years came in 2017-18, and even then, he never hit .300. First round picks are great, but you can't wait forever. 

But, as stated above, the final judgement lurks in those nameless souls - three Lotto tickets, perhaps to turn up in low Single A. It's hard to imagine Boston winning the AL East this year, unless Cordero becomes the steal of the century... the next Big Papi? 

Yeah, right. Last year, the Dodgers won it all with Mookie Betts, but let's not forget that Alex Verdugo, whom Boston received, looks for real. He hit .308 with 15 HRs (Betts hit .292 with 16.) He's only 24, four years younger than the Mookster. He looks like a looming star.

So, the Yankees seem to have an open lane in the AL East. Tampa has lost two starters - Blake Snell and Charlie Morton - and Boston is looking down the road. Baltimore is Baltimore, which is - sigh - Baltimore. That leaves Toronto, clearly the threat. 

This had better be the Yankees' year, because Boston won't tank forever. (Baltimore might.) The Yanks' talent curve should crest in 2021. (If it didn't last year.) This is no time for an owner to pinch pennies over the luxury tax threshold, but that's what we've got. It looks like 2021 is all or nothing. And Boston just checked out.

Think the Super Bowl Sucked? Get Use to It.

From HoraceClarke66...

I have to say, football’s big game turned out to be one of the biggest stinkeroos of a Super Bowl I’ve ever seen—and I have literally seen them all.

 

I had no rooting interest, just wanted to see a good game.  Instead, we got a Kansas City team that had looked like world beaters suddenly imploding against a Tampa Bay squad the Chiefs had beaten by three points in Tampa, back in November.

 

Hardly an insurmountable margin, I know.  But who could’ve predicted KC would fall apart so completely?  The game, as they say, wasn’t even as close as the 31-9 score indicated.  And strangest of all was how the Chiefs, a team that had seemed adept at coming back from almost any deficit, utterly lost their composure.

 

Kansas City seemed to have no adjustments to make as the pass rush clobbered its brilliant young quarterback time after time.  The body language of the chief Chiefs, even before the half, was already that of a beaten team—that is, when they weren’t altogether losing their cool or committing yet another key penalty.

 

So what gives?  Most likely, it had something to do with the horrible accident Coach Reid’s son got into.  And with Tampa Bay, and a ball-deflating man named Tommy.

 

But more than both those things, it was probably the grievous injuries KC had suffered on its offensive line—much as Tampa Bay got a break when Green Bay also suffered a big injury on the line before their playoff game.

 

Hey—injuries are part of the game, and this is not to take anything away from the Bucs.

 

But let’s face it: Tampa Bay was a piddling 7-5 after the regular-season loss to the Chiefs, playing very erratic football all year.  Then the Bucs got an off-week late in the season, and came back like gangbusters, averaging over 34 points a game in 8 straight wins.

 

Te salud.  But what made TB champs as much as anything was a late breather and no serious injuries—while all sorts of other teams that had seemed invincible early on (looking at you, Pittsburgh Steelers!) wore out or just broke down.

 

The Bucs didn’t even win their division.  But the team that did, New Orleans, was also an injury-laden wreck by the time the playoffs rolled around.  Out the window went two Saints wins against TB, by a total of 46 points, with Tampa winning its third “do-over.”

 

And yet, next season the NFL intends to add yet another game to its regular season.

 

More and more, this is what all pro sports, with their endless regular seasons, are coming down to:  a extended exercise in futility, with whoever happens to be hottest or most injury-free at the end, winning. 

 

The baseball equivalent of this is going to be adding yet another playoff round. 

 

This might actually help our beloved Pinstripers, with their continuing devotion to just grabbing a wild card slot so Poor Hal can limp by on food stamps for another season.  But it’s one more element that will make regular-season games more meaningless, championship games worse, and championships themselves all the more fraudulent.    

 

Yo, Adrian, we did it! Algorithm projects Yankees to win AL East with 81.1 percent chance

The 2021 PECOTA projections are out, and - BOY O BOY O BOY! - I've been struggling to hold back the excitement, I mean, wow, this is like a massively erect tower of numbers blasting straight up into the  - THINK OF WILLIE MAYS, DAMMIT, DUQUE, THINK OF WILLIE MAYS, CONCENTRATE ON WILLIE MAYS - firing its numerical charge into the ozone - YEEOWWWW, WOAHHHHHHH! 

(Five minutes later...)

Hello, everybody! Today, let's celebrate the Player Empirical Comparison and Optimization Test Algorithm, which tallies up everything - last year's standings, the year before that, players' neck sizes, Facebook friends, stool samples, the free market price of Viagra, the full Entirety of Creation - and projects the 2021 Yankees to win the AL East, with a 81.1 percent chance of coming true! We will finish with the second-best PECOTA in baseball, behind the Dodgers. Aaron Judge, Gerrit Cole, DJ LeMahieu and Luke Voit will have big PECOTA years, and everything will be PECOTA Perfect (considering the 81.1 percent success rate.) 

Congratulations, 2021 PECOTA Yankees!

It's been a great winter - aside from the deaths and all - and this magnificent victory belongs, first and foremost, to our illustrious owner, Mr. Steinbrenner, and his crack front office staff: the scouts, the secretaries, the janitor, their interns, and all the li'l people - you know who you are - who came together to win this PECOTA on behalf of the people of New York City! 

Of course, computer championship projections like these certainly belong to the fans. That's right, readers! Put down the mouse and give yourself a hand, New York! Start spreadin' the news! We're PECOTA-IN' today... 

Oh... and did I leave someone out? Damn straight. How about God! By golly, I almost stepped in it. Take a bow, Sir. From day one of this off-season, I gotta believe that God, THE ULTIMATE PECOTA, blessed this future projected 2021 champion... and today, it has all come together: 

The AL EAST 81.1 PERCENT PECOTA DIVISION TITLE.

The algorithm projects the Yankees to win 97.4 games. (The 0.4 victory will be over Baltimore; those wins count less.) Tampa will finish second, Toronto third, and Boston will come in a two games below .500. Sorry, Redsocks. Maybe next PECOTA!  Minnesota and Houston will win the other AL Divisions. Congrats to all in the hard-fought season simulation. 

The PECOTA Mets will win the NL East, too, but only by a certainty of 77.4 percent. Hah! Take that, Cohen!

Ahhhh. Now, it's time to relax and enjoy my PECOTA. My dear, you look quite fetching today. Can I give you a foot-rub? Calgon Bath Oil Beads, take us away... Ohhhhh, WILLIE!

Come back, Masahiro: MLB is loosening its balls, and your HR rate would be about to plummet

Well, I didn't have this on my 2021 Sports Culture bingo card: 

The MLB deep state has been tinkering with the game's genetic code - the ball, itself - and these mutant variants could mean 5 percent fewer home runs in 2021. The Atlantic broke the story, which stems from a memo sent Friday to the 30 MLB sovereign city-states:

"As you are aware, M.L.B. has engaged a committee of scientific experts over the last several years to study the construction and performance of the baseball. One of the recommendations of that committee has been to narrow the manufacturing specifications of the baseball in order to improve the consistency of the baseball’s performance.”

Huh? 

Empirical observations:  

a) I wasn't aware that MLB had hired mad scientists to de-Frankenstein the secrets of The Ball. What other experiments are underway? What could they be doing with, say, the rosin bag? 

b) "... to narrow the manufacturing specifications of the baseball..."  Eeecheeewowa! Am I getting this right: They're basically replacing last year's baseball with a near perfect replica?

c) This is how longstanding single-season records get obliterated. 

This is like those scientists who say humanity can stop global warming my filling the atmosphere with circus balloons. Neat idea, if it works. And if it doesn't... hey, look, everybody... balloons!

But here's the rub: MLB does face an existential crisis: Five of the six most homer-happy seasons in history have come since 2016. As Yank fans know, our lineup has turned into a sad conga line of HR/K/BB outcomes, our pitching staff a vending machine for moon shots. But will this work? Says today's Gray Lady:

M.L.B. told teams that “in an effort to center the ball within the specification range” for bounciness, Rawlings produced balls that “loosened the tension of the first wool winding.” The result was a ball that weighed 2.8 grams less and had a slightly reduced bounciness that was, on average, “more in the middle” of the league’s current range.

In a footnote in its memo, M.L.B. wrote that its independent laboratory at the University of Massachusetts Lowell, as well as Rawlings, had estimated that the change in bounciness would reduce the flight by an average of one to two feet on 375-foot fly balls.

Translation: They are deadening the ball. (Also, teams will also be allowed to store balls in humidors, lowering their explosiveness.) In each case, fewer long balls and more "bounciness," whatever that means.  

Empirical thoughts...

1. Luke Voit led MLB in HR last year, with 22. But this shouldn't crush his game. Luke seems in a good place. Unlike all-or-nothing sluggers, Voit hit .277 last year and took balls to right field.  

2. On the other hand, if Gary Sanchez hasn't decided to change his ways by now, there's no hope for him. Here comes the last argument he might ever hear for shortening his swing and putting more balls into play.

3. HRs were the bugaboo of Gerrit Cole last year. He surrendered 14, most on the Yankees. Any reduction would helps him (as it will any ace.) Sinker ball pitchers - such as Zack Britton - might conceivably be hurt (though Britton, the old pro, should figure it out.)

4. Can we have takebacks on J.A. Happ and Masahiro Tanaka? Both were victimized by HRs throughout 2020 - nine from Tanaka, eight from Happ. Both are gone. Did  this news come too late for the Yankees to make a wise decision? 

Listen: This is the first glimpse of an iceberg that will dominate baseball all year. Every ball that dies on the warning track will conjure a "what if...?" The YES team might curb its voices, looking to lessen the fury, but Al Gore's Information Superhighway will constantly explode with questions. 

They are tinkering with the DNA of the game. Wow. Didn't see that coming... 

Are Baseball Players (and a percentage of the support staff) Essential Workers?

As Mr. Duque points out, the opening of Spring Training will coincide with the next spike in Coronavirus. 

It’s interesting how American holidays seemed to be perfectly spaced out to create artificial must gather events that make getting this under control much much more difficult.  Just in the last three months we had Halloween, the election, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, and The Super Bowl. I guess next up is Valentines Day but that seems like it has a different set of diseases.

As far as Spring Training goes, obviously the solution is to vaccinate all the players, coaches, and trainers. But this would entail having them jump to the front of the line. Then again, it’s Florida and as far as I can tell there is no line. Hell, if you listen to their, Governor Covid 19 isn’t real anyway.

So, my question for today is, “Are baseball players (and a percentage of the support staff) essential workers?"

Part of me, the part of me that was watching marble races and old Super Bowls during the first third of the quarantine says yes. Getting sports back was very helpful in combatting my moods which fluctuated between ennui and out and out depression. Sports shortens my day. I’m sure this was true for a lot of Americans so keeping the players on the field improves our collective mental health.

Also, who is next? I’m assuming the front-line health care workers are getting shots, as are other essential workers such as police, firemen etc. Anyone over 65 can at least get on a list in most places. So, who is next? Is it fair to give it to people who are basically entertainers?

Plus, as football just showed, you can apparently breathe on, spit on, and huddle up with each other and still get 700 games played all the way to the end of the season. BTW – Wow!!!! I would have bet big money against this back in May. Well done!

Is it better to just let nature take its course and not give them priority? I’m sure it comes down to manufacture and availability anyway, but getting the players vaccinated goes a long way to insuring a full and uninterrupted season.

As to the fans… 

I guess we will have to wait until Citibank Vaccination Day May 3^rd against Baltimore. All fans 14 and over receive a Corona Shot and a commemorative syringe honoring a Yankee player. 

Among the proposed syringes are:

The Mickey Mantle B-12

The Jason Giambi

And The Roger Clemens

 

Aaron Judge attends Super Bowl, ends up meme

 

And now, added to all other Yankee concerns... it's the upcoming super-spreader celebration in Tampa

As of now, the Yankees plan to open Tampa spring camp on Feb. 17, ten days from now... almost simultaneously with the looming siege.

I'm referring to the inevitable explosion of Covid, stemming from the massive, joyful, unmasked Super Bowl street parties that began last night with less than five commercials left in the game. ("... on the Yankee Radio Network, driven by Jeep - now with The Boss!)

Listen: No judgments here. Let's not begrudge the good citizens of Tampa a full week of drinking themselves batty, even if street parties fall barely a notch below doorknob-licking. Their team won the frickin' Super Bowl. They might not see another in their lives. (The Detroit Lions are 60 years and counting.) But as cerebral Yank fans - who instinctively scorn the shoeless, inbred, unshirted dullards of Florida - we should face reality: 

Next week's parades and panty-raids will raise threat levels through the roof in Yankee camp. Can we hire crop dusters to do the city with Purell? 

At the least, that would compete with the cloud that hangs over all MLB camps. Last week, MLB's Jolly Owners proposed delaying the season by one month, scuttling the mid-February camp openings. MLB offered a 154-game season (at full pay), the universal DH and 14-team expanded playoffs. The union shot it down.

An article in the Hartford Courant offers this cogent summary from Mr. (or Ms) Unnamed Source:

"By starting spring training now with the pandemic still raging in Florida and Arizona, we’re jeopardizing not only the players, but umpires, managers, coaches, trainers, front office people and support people. But at the same time, (Commissioner Rob) Manfred comes up with this proposal as players are already starting to report and making housing plans. It’s a proposal with nothing in it for the players when the commissioner has the unilateral right to stop the season at any time. As for the universal DH vs. the expanded playoffs, the universal DH is probably worth about $20 million for the players as opposed to the expanded playoffs being worth $100 million for the owners.”

Adding to the conundrum: Rancid relations between management and labor, which had its pockets picked in the last contract. (Luxury taxes = salary cap in disguise.)  Current talks suggest a strike or lockout next winter. 

As of Friday, about 150 MLB free agents still remain unsigned. That's nutty. Soon, the music will stop, and everyone will scramble for the last empty chairs - not realizing that this is, after all, the deck of the Titanic. Mr. Smartypants - Trevor Bauer - better not start spending that $45 million he's supposed to get next year. He might be better off with Bitcoin. 

So... what do we know? Not much. But as Yankees return to camp - each in "the greatest condition of his life" - they ought to stay inside next week, or hope for gusty winds. Tampa is going to be a big, wild petrie dish. Hooray, Bucs!

Heading into camp, the winner of the most intriguing Yankee lottery ticket is... opens envelope, looks around... Luis Medina!

It's Stupor Sunday - a night devoted to corporate brainwashing, to TV ads wrapped around a halftime show, to the worship of Doritos - it's time to lick the psychedelic toad of unrealistic Yankee expectations. Set down the Roddy Piper sunglasses, and take a stroll with me, barefoot, through this field of nipples...

We don't need another rundown on the rotation, no peek at the batting order, not even a lecherous glimpse of Jasson "Our Favorite Martian" Dominquez. Nope. Instead, talk about buried treasure, mermaids, gorillas riding unicorns... Luis Medina - age 21.8, says FanGraphs - today's Most Interesting Person in the Yankiverse.

Okay, I know what you're thinking: Hmm... food, good... need meat... must propagate... look out window... tree... obey... 

Hold that thought. You know, Stupor Sunday is not the day to try channeling Rod McKuen. Here's all you need to know: 

Luis Medina has been named Liga de Beisbol Professional Roberto Clemente (LBPRC) Pitcher Of The Year! (LBPRCPOTY) 

Yes, he was the Puerto Rican Cy Young - the Kershaw, the Cole, the Koufax - of limited short season beisbol in our very best favorite U.S. commonwealth. (Viva statehood!  Viva now!) Thus, Medina brings something unique to Yankee single-A prospects: 

An actual baseline performance - as opposed to scouting reports and surgically edited YouTube videos - on which to ponder his potential.

Medina made four starts in the recent LBPRC (pronounced "Lib-Prick".) He pitched 16.2 innings and gave up only one run. But here's the takeaway: He fanned 32 batters, while walking only six. The rub on Medina - who is said to hit 102 mph on the radar gun - was always "great stuff/no control." If he's throwing strikes, who knows? 

And if not - if he's just another Alex Graman - well, shoot me. And by the way, I'm tired of all the smart-mouthing around here. It's been a dark winter, and you know what? The days are growing longer, Jose Canseco just got the snot beat out of him on streaming video, and we have the fukking LBPRCPOTY (pronounced "Lib-prick-potty.") Trevor Bauer may have won the 2020 NL Cy Young, but that's ancient history. What has he done lately? 

Okay, it's worth noting that Medina started a game in the Caribbean World Series, and he wasn't exactly Pedro. He tanked in the fourth against an MLB lineup that included Robbie Cano, Melky Cabrera and Jonathan Villlar. Still, he looked sharp through the first two, and no starters go long in winter ball. I'll take two knockout innings, because that's all we'd ever ask from Medina in 2021.

So... tonight, as you subject your brain to the cleansing... hold this thought: 

Luis Medina! Puerto Rican Pitcher Of The Year! Fukk, yeah!

The Yankees were never in on Trevor Bauer; is that a blessing or an indictment?

Yesterday, the best team in baseball got better...

Remember when they used to say that about the Yanks? We'd win a World Series and then brazenly add Jason Giambi, or Mike Mussina, or Hideki Irabu, or fucking A-Rod... whomever we damn well wanted. Our owner placed a premium on winning. We were the most revered sports franchise in America, perhaps the world, and the plan was simple: Win every game, every series, every year. "Mystique and aura," they called it. "Pride and the power." There was even a curse involved, and we weren't the butt end of a punch line. 

Well, as Covid has shown the modern world, hegemonies aren't always what they're cracked up to be. 

Today, the Yankee owner's mission is to a) Avoid luxury taxes, b) Reach the post-season and maybe get lucky, and c) Avoid luxury taxes. 

Thanks to the wild card, we've been successful (just not lucky.) 

Still, now and then, something reminds us of how it was... 

Consider the Dodgers, formerly one of our great rivals. Yesterday, the world champs - with MLB's highest payroll - plunked down another $103 million for Trevor Bauer - at $40 million this season. The deal lets Bauer opt-out, in case he ever senses himself underappreciated. And he might.

There are good reasons why Bauer did not belong on the Yankees. For starters, he seems to be a pompous asshole, a poodle studying to be Curt Schilling, without the big game track record. The Yanks and Mets may have dodged bullets by avoiding him. Bauer could have become a divisive figure in NYC, which neither team needs at $40 million per season.

Still... 

Yesterday, the best team in baseball got better...

Remember?

Insert sigh here.

Hal Steinbrenner is 51. He'll probably run the Yankees for another 20 years. It's possible that, as he nears retirement, he will come to realize that money is piss, the sparrow is immortal, and you never get a do-over when it comes to a family legacy. At some point, it will dawn on him: He had the greatest role in all of sports, and all he did was wheedle money via a self-imposed, self-loathing austerity. 

And I wonder if he'll notice that lead.

Yesterday, the best team in baseball got better...

Trinkets for the Natives

By HoraceClarke66 

The House That Stick Michael built got a lot of attention today on New York 1, as New York opened a mass vaccination site there. This was a departure from how the Yankees usually stick it to the good people of this city, but it had its stomach-turning moments anyway.

Gov. Cuomo the Lesser had Randy Levine, Aaron Boone, and The Great One on his morning press conference for the announcement.

Little Andy was kvelling like a schoolboy over the three, even though they were beaming in from an undisclosed location.  (The governor also seems unduly pale these days. Too long between draining the blood out of unsuspecting virgins and assorted Renfields?)

Mariano looked and dressed classy, as ever. Boone seemed like the younger sibling brought along on parents' night, as usual. And mop-haired Randy Levine...in a rare moment of honesty, announced that those getting jabbed at the Stadium would receive Yankees "trinkets."

Yep, that's the word he used. "Trinkets"—as in bright, shiny, worthless object you dangle in front of indigenous populations you are hoping to dupe. You might say that Giancarlo Stanton is the supersized version of said trinket.

Once upon a time, rather than expressing abject, fawning gratitude over a wealthy private corporation that the city and state have handed billions of dollars over the years deigning to open an unused facility during a health emergency, the governor of New York would have expected it as a matter of course.

But then, once upon a time, no one would have dreamed of handing over billions of dollars to a ballclub.

Anyway, good to see that Yankee Stadium will be put to some use during the long winter months.  And I can't wait to see those trinkets!  Gilded rat feces left over from the '80s, with "Citibank" stamped on the back?  

But I kid, I kid!  Before signing off, the governor made sure to inform Mariano that "I'm very good at hitting the curveball now, because in politics the curveballs come at you all the time!"

One might have expected The Great One to reply, "I threw the greatest cutter anyone ever saw, you dick!"   But he didn't.  Mariano was always a model of decorum.