"Well, I NEVAH!" Astros bristle over ridiculous suggestions that their team would cheat

Today, as the shame settles in for their spurious and inchoate accusations, I sincerely hope the Yankees can summon up the decency to apologize for their slithering misdeeds last night - the worst example of sportsmanship since Philadelphia Eagle Jalen Carter spat on the Cowboys' Dak Prescott, back on the opening play of the 2025 NFL season.  

Why... to accuse a professional baseball club of cheating... dear God! How could the Yankees sink so low? 

What kind of fraudulent misanthrope would even suggest that a Major League team - in this case, the impeccable Houston Astros - would bend the game's rules to gain an advantage? 

The very idea! 

The insincere indignity! 

The unmitigated gall! 

Have the Yankees - and their entire organization - no sense of personal shame? 

I refer you to the 9th inning of last night's game, with the Yankees holding a 5-run lead. Houston's Taylor Trammell had whacked a double off the left-center wall, and stood proudly on second base. Then, out from his devil's den of deceit, stepped mean Aaron Boone -  malevolence dripping from his sulfuric voice, his eyes as purple as the President's hand - demanding to inspect Trammell's bat, as if he's the reincarnation of Billy Martin. 

The umps checked the lumber, ran their tiny fingers across its shaven surface, and decided to continue the game - but not until the Yankees had thoroughly embarrassed not only themselves but the National Pastime itself, by suggesting - in full view of the TV and Internet - that the Astros would allow one of their prized stallions to commit Bromus Secalinus. 

I just hope that today, when the Yankees disembark in NYC from their pillowed plane, somebody in the organization has the good graces to call Houston and deliver a heartfelt apology for the mere implication that something, anything, was done in an ill-gotten manner. 

In this day and age, it's critical for baseball to maintain its sterling reputation as a game where cheaters in any form are not tolerated. I only hope that the U.S. Department of Justice was watching last night. It's time for the Yankees to be held accountable for their complaining.