For a Yankee fan, few moments are more rewarding than when you can unspool a massive, self-righteous, Stygian dark, spittle-infused rant about the latest bad decision by Cooperstown Cashman and/or "Too Late" Boone.
Joey Gallo? Get the bucket.
Nathan Eovaldi? Shoot me.
Kei Igawa? Carl Pavano. OK, that's enough.
Jordan Montgomery? I said THAT'S ENOUGH!
Well, back on July 15, we could add Gleyber Torres to our personal shit-list.
After all, Gleyber was:
a) Bearded.
b) Hitting .277.
c) Staying awake during games.
d) Leading the young Tigers to 1st in the AL Central.
e) The AL starting 2B in the All-Star game.
Basically, he was enjoying a revenge season, letting us scream that the Yankees had pulled another boner (in the non-Viagra sense of the word.) Last winter, it was no secret that that Gleyber - (inspiration for the worst John Sterling HR call in history: "... And like a good Gleyber, Torres is there!" Yeesh.) - wanted to stay a Yankee, but mean old Mr. Cashman said no.
Sadly, Cashman's plans for the infield involved DJ LeMahieu, Oswald Peraza, and the juju gods, who nearly amputated Oswaldo Cabrera's leg. For a while, it meant that Jazz Chisholm had to play 3B, a place he detested, unsettling the Yankee infield in two locations.
Well, Jazz is back at 2B. And MLB's regular season stats are - like far-flung precincts in an election - taking shape. They vindicate Cashman for his decision last December: To not offer Gleyber a contract and let him fly away with the whispering winds.
By now, you've memorized the above comparison stats. What's amazing is how much more Jazz has produced with about 70 fewer at bats. He's on a course for 30 HR and 30 stolen bases. At 27, he's a year younger than Gleyber. (And I'm not sure he can grow a beard.) Yeah, he looked foolish in the Home Run Derby, but maybe that was a good thing. Maybe it taught him something he had forgotten: That his greatest asset can be speed, not power.
So, over the next three days, stand back: We'll get a full-scale YES comparison between Gleyber and Jazz, the Yankees' past and present. And if Gleyber hits one - (like a good Gleyber) - we will want to unleash some prime and juicy rants. But let's cut Coop some slack. Yes, Joey Gallo will never go away. But Cashman made the right move at 2B.
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13 comments:
Brian “the interminable” Cashman played second base and was the leadoff hitter for Catholic University's baseball team from 1986 to 1989. He was a four-year starter who set a school record for hits in a season with 52 in 1988, a record that stood for 11 years.
Brian the invincible. Brian the international. Brian the inimitable.
Insufferably Insoluble
intellectually inimitable
Not everything the Brain has done is completely stupid. It's just that so many things he's done have been completely stupid. More than enough to get any other GM fired years ago.
That's why, when he does something not stupid, it's big news. "Hey, Cashman did something that's not stupid! How unlike him!" And then we can go back to pointing out that he's really better at doing something stupid.
By the way, Boone is an idiot.
Brian is an imploding invertebrate, inculcated in the incantations of infinite integers.
Good point, JM. It's like, "LOOK, Grandpa didn't drive into any telephone poles today! Let's celebrate!
Inconsistently Incompetent
Infuriatingly Ineffective and
Insect-ridden/Infested
Inexcusable
Inching on Incontinent
Ineluctable
And that WAS intended to be a haiku
Does anybody miss him?
Hey, a broken clock...
The Intern should have traded that shiftless bum three years ago.
And what did the Yankees get in return when he shuffled off to Detroit?
Absolutely nothing. And I guarantee the same damn thing will happen with Volpe.
That’s my boy Brian, you’ve done it again.
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