Saturday parlor game: If MLB is expanding its playoffs system, maybe the Yankees should do something crazy

They're saying MLB next year will expand its post-season to a 14-team playoff format - thus, playing the entire season merely to eliminate about half its franchises. 

When I see fat old men making decisions like that, I always have the same thought:

There is no god.

Of course, we purists will hate this, but here's the rub: Nobody fucking cares. If there's money in it, both the players union and the owners death cult will sign on, merrily. Jimmy Stewart isn't going to stand up and make a speech about the sanctity of the game. It's as good as done.  

What it will mean is that even another colossal Yankees team disappointment - think: the 2021 squad - can contend for the expanded playoffs spot. They'll need about 85 wins. After that, just get hot and be lucky. A little juju, that's all.  

Eighty-five wins, hot/ lucky, and a shot of juju.

Oh, and one other thing: Pitching, pitching, pitching...  

So, Saturday parlor game here: What if the Yankees ditch the notion of signing big stars - Correa, Marte, etc - at the sinkhole slots of SS, CF and 1B? What if they simply find defensive replacements - Tyler Wade, Aaron Hicks, Estevan Florial and the wizardry whizzes of the waiver wire. Tim Locastro and Greg Allen may be gone, but the scrap heaps are full of others like them. Spend the minimum. Stick DJ LeMahieu at 1B. Think: Defense.

Next, duct tape $29 million in Bitcoin to Giancarlo Stanton, and trade him and his contract somewhere - anywhere - for whatever we can get. He's coming off what could be his last productive season, when he showed the ability to still play LF. Now is the time to dump his salary and free the Yankees from the next six years of a fragile, locked-in DH. Through 2028, we could save $108 million. Brian Cashman says he's been told the Yankees will have more money to spend this winter. Would there be a better way to spend it? 

Then, sign Max Scherzer, Justin Verlander and Corey Kluber - yes, Corey Kluber! - to short-term deals. Use them strategically throughout the season - perhaps a six-man rotation, as much as possible - with the sole purpose of having them healthy and primed for the month of October.

Bad ideas? Yeah, I suppose.

But if MLB starts giving everyone a trophy for participation, all we need is 85 wins and a little juju. We don't need a superstar SS. Eight-five wins, people. Eight-five wins.

Dear Mr. Cashman: All of baseball is waiting for you to make your move... so own it.

Dear Madam or Sir,

Yesterday, I wrote a brilliant, 300-word manifesto on how the Yankees' first move this off-season will unleash a string of follow-ups within the Death Barge lineup. 

Frankly, I undersold it. 

Today, all of baseball waits to see what the Yankee brain trust - (that's you) - will do to solve the team's autumnal disfunction. (That is, being done by Oct. 3.)  

Your upcoming first move - to acquire a SS, CF, 1B, whatever  - could become the icebreaker for which all of MLB is awaiting. And you must make it. There is no reason to let any other team dictate the future of the Yankees... and, potentially, your legacy.

Sir, it's high time - as Shakespeare would say - to screw ye'r shaven chin unto the sticky chair... to lay ye'r bony chisel to the measuring dander... to jam ye'r merry cod into the barker, 'til the dawn craps her seed o'er the chattering hills of Donner! 

I'm not telling you who to sign, who to trade for, or who to banish unto the unkindled disco goblins of Milwaukee. 

But it's time to show courage... guts... Boraxo. You want Sterling Marte? Then make him an offer. You want Matt Olson? Bundle up the farm system and make the call to Oakland. Freddie Freeman? There's a number that makes him a Yankee. Carlos Correa? The world awaits your move.

Listen: Whatever you do, the Yankee-owned media will cheer it as the work of genius. The rest of us will obsess over the price tag. But good grief, you already know this: Wild-eyed critics come with the job. (Quick question: Did you ever get my death threats?)

If the Yankees don't win next year - I'm thinking world championship, but right now, I'd take a divisional crown -I hope you do the right thing and let somebody else run the team. (I'd want you to stay with the franchise in some capacity - we always need ticket-takers - you've had a long run, but, hey, nothing lasts forever.) 

And you need to make the first move. In the past, when the Yankees let other teams go first, we paid the price. Remember when Joggy Cano left for Seattle? The Yankees reacted by signing Jacoby Ellsbury. Remember when Boston signed Dice-K? We countered with Kei Igawa. When other teams dictate our future, we end up with Pronk and Lyle Overbay. 

And we deserve them, because we didn't have the guts to get the players we wanted. 

Sir... clamp ye'r time burger to the jujumaker's bevel!

Whatever you do, you will be remembered for this. So, get the guy you want, and let the rest of the world react. 

Guest post: The worst Yankee teams

 From a friend of the blog, Dan R:

 OK, Yankee fans, so we all know we haven’t seen a Canyon of Heroes parade since 2009.

 And we also know that the way baseball is structured today, you can be good enough to make the post-season but still be bad enough to know you ain’t going nowhere. So I guess there are different levels of badness.

 I thought it would fun to stroll down memory lane and take a look at four indisputably bad (dare we say historically putrid?) Yankee teams from the past 60 years. None of these four were able to cobble together a winning percentage over .444.

 Leading off, we have the 1967 Yankees, owners of a 72-90-1 record and that highly coveted .444 winning percentage. Led by manager Ralph Houk and General Manager Lee McPhail, they finished ninth in the American League, but a comfortable 9 1/2 games above the basement dwelling Kansas City A’s.

 Where did that tie come from? It looks like the Yanks and Twins played on Tuesday July 25, 1967 and the game was rained out in the 9^th inning with a 1-1 score. Harmon Killebrew homered for the Twins in the first off Al Downing, and the Mick crashed a 457-foot bomb off of Jim Kaat with two outs in the ninth to tie it.

 That 1967 team was led by Horace Clarke (.272 BA, 160 hits, and 29 stolen bases), Joe Pepitone (64 RBIs) and the Mick with 22 dingers in his next to last season.

 Mel Stottlemyre led the team in wins with a 15-15 record. Bill Monbouquette had the team low ERA at 2.36 and Dooley Womack was the bullpen stud with 18 saves.

 Next up is the 1966 Yankees with a 70-89-1 record and a .440 winning percentage. They finished dead last in the American League. Johnny Keane started the year as their manager, but was bounced after 20 games in favor of Ralph Houk. Dan Topping was the GM.

 Their offensive leaders were Mickey Mantle (.288 BA), Bobby Richardson (153 Hits), Roy White (14 SB), and Joe  Pep (31 HRs and 83 RBIs). Truth be told, pretty good numbers overall, don’t you think?

 When we take a look at the pitching staff, this is what we find - Fritz Peterson and Mel Stottlemyre led the team with 12 wins, but Fritz had a much higher win percentage at 12-11  (.522) than Mel did at 12-20 (.375). Attention youngins’-  go Google “Fritz Peterson and Mike Kekich wife swap”, you can thank me later.

 The team ERA leader was Whitey Ford at 2.47 and Pedro Ramos was the save leader with 13.

 As we move further down the Yankee food chain, we see the 1991 Yankees, proud owners of a 71-91 record, and a .438 winning percentage that earned them a   5^th place finish out of the 7 teams in the AL East. Stump Merrill was the Manager and Gene Michael was the GM

 Steve Sax led the Yankee attack (.304 BA and 198 hits). He also had 31 SBs, but top honors went to Roberto Kelly with 32. Matt Nokes and Kevin Maas socked 32 and 31 homers respectively, but Mel Hall cleared the bases more than anyone, knocking in 80 RBIs.

 Scott Sanderson led the pitching staff with 16 wins, Steve Farr was a bullpen force with a 2.19 team low ERA and 23 saves.

 Now we reach the bottom of the barrel -the 1990 Yankees, led by managers Stump Merrill and Bucky Dent plus GM Gene Michael. They finished with a  67-95 record, a .414 winning percentage, and a last place AL East finish - a mere 21 games behind the front running Red Sox.

 Roberto Kelly led the offensive charge with a .285 BA and 183 hits, Steve Sax swiped 42 bases, Jesse Barfield’s power clubbed 25 taters and knocked in 78 RBIs to lead the way. Side note, when we lived in Massachusetts, we always went to Fenway for the Yankee games. We were in the bleachers when Jesse Barfield hit a batting practice home run that bounced a few rows in front of us and drifted into my wife’s lap as if it was on a parachute.

 Lee Guetterman (my wife and I fondly called him Gutter Ball) was top man in wins with 11, Eric Plunk was low man in ERA with a 2.72 and Dave Righetti was the bullpen ace with 36 saves.

 So there ya go, hope you enjoyed this trip in the Wayback Machine to some truly bad Yankee teams and some memorable names from the past.

 What was interesting to me was that even on these horrid teams, there were some bright lights- an old crippled Mickey that still played his heart out, crafty Whitey Ford,  young bucks like Joe Pepitone and Mel Stottlemyre and Roberto Kelly. Go check out the team rosters for some true rabbit hole-diving fun and games.

Dan R is a life long Yankee fan going back to the days of Mantle and Maris. He grew up in the Bronx and took the subway to the games" 

For Cashman to make the upgrades he's discussing, he must become Lady MacBeth

Over the last few news cycles, Brian Cashman has been chirping about improvements the Yankees - 2009 World Champions! - must make this winter. Though it sorta frightens me, I find myself nodding agreement. The Death Barge needs:

A shortstop
A centerfielder
A first-baseman
A lefty slugger
A new catcher (but Slim Pickens - the situation, not the actor)
And - as always - pitching, pitching, pitching... 

Here's the rub: Whatever Cashman does, his first move will be The Bomb - unleashing a massive domino drop of secondary trades and signings, leaving one prime question:

Where to start? 

Soil-er alert: I dunno. But right now, neither does anybody - maybe including Cashman. He might be waiting for a big free agent to sign, breaking the pool table and forcing a frenzy of deals across MLB. Imagine the sudden new landscape if - say  - tomorrow, the Blue Jays signed Carlos Correa. Hold your water; it probably won't happen. But what if it does? Gahhhhh! Calgon Beauty Bath, take me awayyy...   

This we know, Correa will land somewhere... and immediately rearrange the neighborhood.   

For the sake of a parlor game, let's say Cashman makes the first move. It starts at SS - our most glaring hole. He can sign one of five bigtime free agents - including Correa - or grab a veteran stopgap and wait 'til next year. Whatever he does, it means four everyday infielders - Gio Urshela, DJ LeMahieu, Gleyber Torres and the new guy - for three slots. If LeMahieu moves to first, Luke Voit goes. And the Yanks still need the lefty bat. And a CF. Does Urshela go? Do the Yankee prospects go? Gahhhhh, Calgon...

Bottom line: Once Cashman makes his first cut, he becomes Lady MacBeth - with one murder begetting another.. and another... and another. Once he starts, he cannot stop.  

It's easier to picture the few Yanks who will remain in place than to foresee next April's lineup. The likely holdovers: 

Aaron Judge in RF. (Face of the Yankees.)
Giancarlo Stanton as DH. (Contract from Hell.)
Gleyber Torres at 2B. (Still too young to ditch.)
Gerrit Cole as No. 1 starter. (Ace of the staff.)
Jordan Montgomery as No. 2. (Andy II?)
LeMahieu, somewhere. (Hope for bounce-back.)
Aroldis Chapman, closer. (Twilight coming.)
Jonathan Loaisiga in the bullpen. (Future closer?)

Joey Gallo, who knows? Aaron Hicks? Brett Gardner, Gary Sanchez, Urshela... ditto. Does Cashman get out in front - make the first signing and let MLB deal with the aftermath? Or does he lay in the weeds and wait for a surgical discount? 

My guess - (which, I get it, who cares?) - Cashman will strike before Thanksgiving, and certainly before the owners' likely Dec. 2 labor lockout. That will unleash the torrent. I don't think the GMs across baseball want to wait until mid-March to set their rosters. So... if and when Cashman drops the bomb... well, as Lady MacBeth would say...

Come, you spirits
That tend on mortal thoughts, unsex me here,
And fill me from the crown to the toe top-full
Of direst cruelty! make thick my blood;
Stop up the access and passage to remorse,
That no compunctious visitings of nature
Shake my fell purpose, nor keep peace between
The effect and it! Come to my woman's breasts,
And take my milk for gall, you murdering ministers.

Did Slim Pickens ever do Shakespeare?

Was Expansion a Big Mistake?

 

Or at least “a brilliant mistake,” as The Boss sings?

All those who love truth, honesty, and the American Way (or “a Better Tomorrow,” I guess), can be happy to see the Houston Cheating Hearts dispatched again this autumn without another ring.

But the ultimate failure of the Asterisks was all-too-typical of how expansion teams of every stripe have fared since major-league baseball first decided to embrace the expanding universe in 1961.

Nearly half of all MLB teams now—14 out of 30—are expansion teams.  And pretty much every one of them has been a flop. Between them, in 650 seasons, they have managed to win just 28 pennants and 12 World Series. 

The hard fact is that not a single expansion franchise has an overall winning record.

Consider (years played, and pennants and World Series won, in parentheses):

Los Angeles Anaheims of Disneyland: .499 (61,1-1)

Houston Colt .45s/Astros: .498 (60, 4-1)

Toronto Blue Jays: .496 (45, 2-2)

Montreal Expos/Washington Nationals: .487 (53, 1-1)

Arizona Snakes: (.486, 24, 1-1)

Tampa Bay Deviled Eggs: .483 (24, 2-0)

Seattle Pilots/Milwaukee Brewers: .483 (53, 1-0)

New York Metsies: .480 (60, 5-2)

Kansas City Royals: .479 (53, 4-2)

Washington Senators/Texas Rangers: .476 (61, 2-0)

Seattle Mariners: .472 (45, 0-0)

Colorado Rocky Mountain High: .470 (29, 1-0)

San Diego Padres: .462 (53, 2-0)

Florida/Miami Marlins: .461 (29, 2-2)

Ouch! Am I right?

And this only begins to skim the surface of just how bad these clubs have been for how long.  

In 45 seasons, nearly half-a-century, Seattle has never even made it to the Fall Classic. In 29 years, Miami has never finished first or won as many as 100 games. 

None of these teams has ever won more than 2 World Series. None has ever won more than 5 pennants—something the Mets accomplished only by dint of their record-low, 82 wins for a pennant winner in 1973.

And yes, the ever-expanding number of divisions and playoff rounds has kept the record from looking even worse. By my calculations, 8 of those 28 pennants and 4 of the 12 World Series were won by wild-card teams.

Only 12 times—though I could be wrong on this—have these 14 teams finished with the best records in their leagues.

In other words, out of a combined 650 seasons, these teams have averaged 1 pennant every 23 years, 1 World Championship (and best long-season record) every 54 years.

I ask you, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, what was the need for this sort of collective fan torture? 

And the evidence is pretty clear that many fans just gave up on these new Calibans of baseball. The last three baseball franchises to move, let’s not forget, were all expansion teams—not to mention at least 7 name changes, innumerable uniform experiments, and much extorting of local taxpayers for publicly funded stadia, that has gone on to try to keep these losers from going belly-up.

Is it any wonder that many of these clubs have an identity crisis?

Wouldn’t we have all been better off if the majors had just consented to the formation, over the years, of two new, 8-team leagues?  

Then, instead of all this endless wild-card nonsense, we could have just had another round of play between true league champions. The AL-NL World Series, say, and the Continental-Federal League World Series, followed by the All-Galactic Universal Extravaganza Showdown. Or something. 

Instead of all those years of futility, fans could have enjoyed winning all sorts of genuine pennants, championships—and just plain games—against more genuine competition.

And we who follow the Original 16 would have seen more titles, too, along with more games against our traditional rivals. 

A more logical course would have also meant preserving new markets for new teams. That would have meant no heartbreak in Brooklyn, or Harlem. 

Boston fans could’ve enjoyed seeing Henry Aaron’s career. Philadelphia could’ve had the Swingin’ A’s, weird as that may sound. Hell, we could still have the weird old St. Louis Browns!

Instead, like everything else in big-league baseball, we have this.  Expansion: where there IS no better tomorrow.

You thought 2021 was a bad year? Cashman says "Mission Accomplished!"

Well, well... who's the good boy! WHO'S THE GOOBOY! Why... you're the gooboy! Yes you are! Hey, who wants his belly scratched! WHO WANTS A BELLY SCRATCH? Why... YOU DO! Gooboy wants a belly scratch! Oooooo, gooboy. How about a treat? Gooboy wanna treat? Sit. No... SIT! NO TREAT UNTIL YOU SIT! Gooboy. Who's my gooboy?

Master has good news. Master says he's gonna buy us something very, very special! A treat! Master's gonna give us a treat!

And look... LOOK at all the players we're considering! We're considering everybody. Our bowl runneth over. 

So, where do we start? Hmm. I'll take a $300 million SS. And a $200 million 1B. A $100 million CF? Sure! How about two? Can I come back for seconds? I'll need a bigger bowl. Isn't this fun - grabbing free agents willy-nilly, no care in the world? How about another DH? What if ours gets hurt? Make it two. 

Thank you, Mr. Hal! You know, I was telling everyone just the other day what a generous owner you are, how you're not like the others, how you only care about winning, and how, to you, money is piss.

So... um, actually... I was sorta thinking that the Yankees might not want to drop $300 million on a SS, you know, because our two top prospects play SS? No big deal. And that's fine. Go for it. Especially if you're also bringing back Anthony Rizzo and signing a CF. Don't let me stop you. Oh, and don't forget catcher! 

So, aren't we the lucky ones? The Yankees are "checking in" on everyone. I bet the Brewers don't do that. But the Yankees are back! Pass the word. And the mashed potatoes.

Most of all, let's celebrate 2021. Yesterday, believe it or not, Brian Cashman invoked the memory of George W. Bush - the Hal Steinbrenner of presidents. 

"Clearly it was mission accomplished from last year, getting under the CBT (Competitive Balance Tax)," Cashman said. "[Payroll is  going to have to be higher] because we don't have a lot of stuff coming off. I have some latitude." 

"Mission accomplished!" And you thought 2021 was a downer? Why, simply because we lost to Boston? Get over it. Bad dog! And now, just look at the buffet! I feel like Joe Namath on TV: "Make the call! It's FREEEEE!" Who's the gooboy! WHO'S THE GOOBOY!

The legendary 2014 Yankee international signing class... revisited

 Comment of the day, from ZacharyA...

Do you all remember the 2014 international spending spree? Quick recap from Baseball America:

>Other teams have broken their bonus pools, and other teams have spent big money on international amateur talent before the bonus pool era, but no team has ever done what the Yankees did last year. From the opening of the 2014-15 international signing period on July 2 through the end of the calendar year, the Yankees spent more than $17 million on international players subject to the bonus pools. With a $2.19 million bonus pool to start and a 100 percent overage tax for demolishing their pool, the Yankees will be paying around $30-$35 million (and counting) between bonuses and taxes.

I was looking at BA's minor-league free agent lists published this morning and saw some familiar names. So I decided to check up on where all the top Yankee free agent signings from that period are today. Beware. You may want to look away.

Antonio Arias (out of baseball since 2018)
Jonathan Amundaray (released in 2018, out of baseball)
Lisandro Blanco (out of baseball since 2018)
Leobaldo Cabrera (now in the Twins minor league system)
Diego Castillo (now in the Pirates minor league system)
Frederick Cuevas (never made it to the majors, now free agent)
Juan De Leon (never made it to the majors, now free agent)
Brayan Emery (out of baseball since 2018)
Miguel Flames (released in June 2019)
Estevan Florial (hey he's still here, but has big issues to iron out in the minors)
Griffin Garabito (out of baseball since 2018)
Dermis Garcia (never made it to the majors, now free agent)
Wilkerman Garcia (never made it to the majors, now free agent)
Nelson Gomez (now 23 years old and still in Rookie ball)
Jason Lopez (never made it to the majors, now free agent)
Erick Mendez (minor-league free agent, hasn't played since 2019)
Leonardo Molina (minor league free agent, hasn't played since 2019)
Raymundo Moreno (hasn't played since 2019, never made it out of rookie ball)
Pablo Olivares (now 23, still in Single-A, hasn't developed as hoped)
Hoy Jun Park (now in the Pirates minor league system)
Danienger Perez (.229/.285/.327 minor-league hitter, out of the game since 2019)
Miguel Yajure (6.14 ERA in the majors, now in Pirates minor league system)

What a disaster. And Ronald Acuña Jr. was available that July, but he was the one guy to slip through their fingers.

Also, because of the 2014-2015 spending spree, the Yankees were banned from spending big in the subsequent international signing period. And of course in that signing period, players like Vladimir Guerrero Jr., Fernando Tatis Jr., Juan Soto, and Yordan Alvarez were available.

I don't know how you can follow this team without drinking.

Heaney signs, Verlander auditions, and Gallo grows gloves with loving care

Three weeks until the Dec. 2 lockout. As Stephen Colbert would say, meanwhile...

1. Andrew Heaney signs with LA. Eight million per. WTF? Did this guy's feeble twin pitch for the Yankees last season?

Eight million? Good to see the Dodgers tightening their belt. Maybe they watched footage of the ONE GAME last year when the Heanster pitched well for us. It was Aug. 18, midway into our 13-game win streak, when we drank from the Maas Mountain Fountain. Heaney threw seven glorious innings against Boston - two hits, one run. Afterwards, YES awarded Brian Cashman the Nobel Prize for Trading, and we penciled in The Heannie Genie as our No. 3 horse. 

Next start, he lasted four innings, then two, then 0.1. We hot-potatoed him for the one-game Wild Card roster. Now, he's a Dodger, and they're suggesting he's next year's Robbie Ray. Good luck with that.

2. Yesterday, Justin Verlander threw for a gaggle of scouts, hoping to secure another fat contract. (Speaking of fat, Kate Upton's modeling career - case of the Mommys? NYC is a great place for a paparazzi revival.) Should we bid on a guy who, over the years, was a Yankee Killer?

Of course, yes, of course! In another time, under another owner, it would be a no-brainer. The Yankees should bid on everybody, even if only to drive up the price for our rivals - as they do to us. But Harmony Hal likes to be greeted warmly in the Owners' Club Lounge, thus he annually, arbitrarily draws his happy line on spending. 

Still, is Verlander worth a shot? He turns 39 in February, and the Corey Kluber alarm is sounding. (Corey last year was 35.) Verlander missed all of 2021, after missing nearly all of 2020. (He started one game.) But two years ago - 2019 - he went 21-9, best in the AL. That's almost identical to Kluber's history; he'd missed almost two full years. 

So, what did we get from Kluber? An enigma burger. He started slow, found his stride - was steadily improving, until the no-hitter! - when YES awarded Brian Cashman the Nobel Prize for Signings - then, poof... gone. When he returned, he was rusty. If the Yankees had beaten Boston in the Wild Card, who knows what Kluber might have delivered in the Divisional Round? My guess... a two-inning start.

Anybody who signs Verlander should expect him to pitch well for a while, then get hurt. Maybe the Yankees should sign both, and use them intermittently? Ah, just thinking of what Old George would have done...

3. Joey Gallo wins the AL Gold Glove in right field. Okay, I hear heads scratching on this. Two conclusions: 

1) The Gold Glove award aint what it used to be. (A year ago we were looking at Clint Frazier as a finalist, which Yankee fans all knew was a bullshit fluke of some algorithm.) Gallo played half-a-season in RF, and he didn't look that great in our LF. Another resounding WTF? 

2) Could there be a Gallo we simply didn't see? Did we miss something? (Just asking, don't shoot me.) Because, as a Yankee, Gallo was certifiably awful - Hall of Fame Awful - so wretched that we should wonder if we actually saw the guy - who now has two Gold Glove awards?

Last year, Gallo led the AL in walks and strikeouts, making him the poster child for boring baseball. But his OPS in Texas was .869. (With the Yankees, it was .707.) His OPS for the season stands at .808 - that's second among AL left-fielders, behind Randy Arozarena, with .815. Was he quietly better than we think?

I dunno. I just dunno. Frankly, I hope they trade him. I've seen enough. Gallo was terrible. But you do have to wonder: Could he really be that bad?

Here's Another Star From Japan We Won't Sign

It seems like every year there's a player out of Japan or Korea who looks like a potential solution to one of the Yankees problems. This year it's Seiya Suzuki.  

Forgetting the obvious desire to hear Michael Kay scream "Seiya!" when the guy hits a home run, this looks like another opportunity to sign a Japanese superstar who does everything well. 

From CBS Sports

Suzuki, a five-time All-Star who recently turned 27 years old, is widely considered to be one of the top players in Nippon Professional Baseball. This season, he hit .319/.436/.640 with 38 home runs, nine stolen bases (on 13 attempts), and more walks than strikeouts. For his career, he's batted .315/.415/.571.

But can he field? CBS Sports again...

Defensively, he has a strong arm that serves as a reminder that he pitched as a youngster. He's tallied 24 assists since 2017; for comparison's sake, Bryce Harper led big-league right fielders in that category last season, and he has 22 assists over the same timeframe.

Personally, I miss Hideki and even though we got him too late, I miss Ichiro.  

Maybe I just like complete ball players who have a plan at the plate, who takes what the pitcher gives them and goes for the best result instead of blindly swinging. Guys who know how to get the runner in from third with less than two outs. Fielders who hit the right cut off man, throw to the right base, you know... baseball. 

Would I rather have Seiya than Gold Glover Joey Gallo? I'd rather have Donald Glover than Joey Gallo. 

Will Brain make a serious offer? Or any offer at all? Or does this guy wind up on the Mariners or the Angels too? 

 

Ye olde scribe, Bob Klapisch: "I wonder if commissioner Rob Manfred understands how much MLB suffers from having two of its legacy franchises – the Orioles and Pirates – turned into junkyard scavengers. Nor does he seem to be aware that shrinking the minor leagues robbed so many communities of their pipeline to baseball."

Over the years, I have come to live by my THREE  EL DUQUE IRON RULES OF HUMAN INTERACTION. 

They are:

1. Sometimes, when everyone says it's raining, it's raining.

2. Nobody talks about the jailbreak, until the jailbreak.

3. You never have enough pitching, pitching, pitching... 

I'd like to devote today's sermon to No. 1 - embodied in a thumb-sucker in the Newark Star-Ledger, (aka nj.com) by the venerable Bob Klapisch, arguably the planet's reigning Gammonite. Klapisch warns that baseball is not only headed for a labor lockout, but a major fan crisis.

If you think the Braves-Astros World Series was a must-watch, think again. Aside from last year’s pandemic series, the 2021 Classic was the least-watched since total-viewer tallies became available in the early 1970s.

Here at IT IS HIGH - when not admiring the laser-beam Yankee acumen of Ralph Nader - you'll hardly need a magnifying glass to find the blistering torrents of anger, betrayal, distrust and fury over the modern state of baseball. 

In fact, everywhere, you see fans, writers, coaches and innocent bystanders demanding that MLB do something about the endless strikeouts and walks, about over-shifts that crush hitters, about five-hour games and - coming fast - the looming civil war that will pit billionaires against millionaires. 

Sometimes, when everybody says it's raining, it's raining.

And baseball is about to get flooded.

But Klapisch devotes much of his article on the matter of tanking - the modern method for building a successful MLB franchise. These days, by mid-May, front offices have already begun to tank - shedding salaries, trading stars, and losing for the sake of a receiving higher draft pick and more luxury tax revenues. In so many ways, it is the cruelest thing a franchise can do to its fans. 

Come August and September, suddenly there are 8-9 meaningless games on the schedule every night. They’re no match for the NFL on Sundays. Or Monday nights. Or Thursday nights.

Klapisch quotes Oakland A's manager Billy Beane ("Mr. Moneyball," whom some blame for the current predicament), who says MLB needs to revamp its draft order. If teams don't try to win, they should not be rewarded with the top picks.

Unfortunately, from most indications, MLB is about to launch an international draft - adding Latino teenagers to the pool. This would eliminate one of the last financial advantages that high-spending teams have in securing young talent. 

So, pssssst... anybody for a jailbreak? 

A question for Ralph Nader

Mr. Nader, this weekend, you revealed yourself to be a Yankee fan in the pages of Eurasian Review. True to your reputation, you rightly excoriated—among other injustices—the proliferation of commercial messages on the New York Yankees Radio Network Driven by Jeep, offering a list of "some leading irritating advertisers."

As many It Is High commenters pointed out, you left the most irritating advertiser—by far—off your list, sir. 

In the spirit of transparency and fair play, values you have spent your life fighting for, we demand an answer: 

Mr. Nader, are you in the tank for Kars4Kids? 

Ralph Nader: "The biggest surprise in this saga of a fallen baseball empire has been the reticence and the passivity of the Yankee fans who made the Bronx cheer a mark of their displeasure from the stands. They have been given losing teams shaped by failing management that also overcharges their fans. From their homes, bars and vehicles, they are treated as advertisement bait with the play-by-play of the game as a secondary consideration by the Yankee profiteers."

Dear Mr. Nader, 

I just finished your op-ed in Eurasia Review, flagged yesterday by our esteemed colleague and social scientist, Mustang. 

You, sir, are a Yankee fan. 

You are hereby invited to post about the Yankees, their greedy management, their enabling media and -yes - their docile fans on IT IS HIGH... any time you wish.

Any time you wish.

I realize you have other outlets, and Eurasia Review might even be a paying gig, which we cannot outbid. Still... do they want your views on Gary Sanchez? I don't think so. I can assure you that - here at IT IS HIGH - we would cherish your views on Gary. (Note: Not everyone will agree; most of the time, I can't even get a consensus from this unruly crowd.) 

Should the Yankees sign the showboating cheat, Carlos Correa? On one hand, they'd be continuing the failed policies of the last 12 years. On the other, he's the best free agent on the market, and what else should Hal do with his money, buy another boat?

What do you think?

Feel free to contact me at hseely@twcny.rr.com. 

Your friend,

El Duque

P.S. I especially love your list of annoying in-game radio ads, which hold John and Suzyn hostage. I propose that we set up a March Madness set of brackets to vote on - and to determine - the most repulsive radio ads in modern Yankee history. 

Remember: When you write for Eurasia Review, you are safe and secure in knowing that most readers will not have a hard opinion on Gary Sanchez. But will your family be kept safe and secure under New York Life? 

Write me.

Ralph Nader is one unhappy Yankee fan

I know some of you hate the guy, but he loves the Yankees, so can we have a 5-minute truce? Writing in Eurasia Review, Nader sounded just like One of Us as he railed against: 

• Steinbrenners
• The "inept, smug management" of Cashman and Boone
• The "over-the-hill, injury-prone MLB stars" they trade their minor leaguers for,
• The "competitors with far less money" who "run circles around the Yankees" 
• The compliant sports media
• What he calls "the biggest surprise," the "reticence and passivity of the Yankee fans..."

...And, best of all, his top 15 annoying Yankees radio advertisers: 

1. Geico Insurance
2. Barnes Law Firm
3. Kia Auto Dealers
4. “Drive-by Jeep”
5. Mutual of America Financial Group
6. Spectrum Mobile
7. Nissan auto mfg.
8. DuckDuckGo
9. Centric Brakes
10. Chock Full o’Nuts coffee
11. Honda
12. Hyundai
13. Wendy’s
14. Indian Point Nuke
15. Audi

Midnight in the Gardner of Good and Evil

In the spirit of the grand and glorious U.S. Congress, let's try to achieve a consensus. How about this as a Statement of Yankee Fan Agreement: 

We... the undersigned bloggers, readers and commenters of IT IS HIGH... firmly believe that, after 14 years with the New York Yankees, the earnest and loyal foot-soldier Brett Gardner - pride of Holly Hill, S.C. - has earned one more shot - at something.

The Yankees - corporate to the core - owe Gardy a final opening day, a ceremony at home plate, a shiny new car, several standing ovations, maybe a small plaque in centerfield or nightly postgame gig next to Buck Showalter. And cabbage - yes, moola, dough, scratch, quibbish, gloog, kabooga!  As a free agent, Gardy deserves a respectable offer - near the $2.5 million he made last year. 

Look... we can do this! Nobody wants Gardy's final at-bat to happen in a Royals jersey. Great minds must prevail. There must be a way - player coach? - to keep Gardner crashing his bat into the Yankee dugout ceiling - something, anything, to keep him in pinstripes to the very end. 

Thus far, this millennium sucks. The Yankees have been overtaken by Boston, San Francisco, Tampa, the Dodgers and maybe even the cheating Astros. If not for a Met-like collapse last summer by our crosstown rivals, they would have lost New York City. Still, at least we remain proud enough to keep a true-blue fighter like Gardner. Seriously: I never want him playing against us. None of us do.

But but BUT... retirement can be sticky. Nobody wants to hear that his legs are shot and his bat no longer brings the bling. The Yankees need a utility outfielder, not a nostalgia act. And Gardy has shown troubling signs, worthy of Blue Oyster Speedwagon.

Last season, he stole four bases. Four. Aaron Judge stole more. In 15 games, Greg Allen stole more. It's been five years since Gardy stole more than 20 bases. He remains a smart baserunner, but his speed is only a memory.

For most of 2021, Gardy absolutely sucked. As late as Aug. 6, his batting average remained below .200. Any other player probably would have been dumped. He heated up and finished at .222. Still... Greg Allen got screwed. He deserved more playing time. Could Allen have done worse?

Last year, Gardy was 38. If he deteriorates - even microscopically - yeesh. We can't do this again. 

Then there Estevan Florial, who - frankly - didn't bust down any fences. Overmatched at Triple A, he batted only .219 - though with 17 home runs. (He also stole 13 bases.) It's hard to portray Florial as a cog to the Yankee future - but he's 23.  If it comes to a choice between Gardy and Florial - even if the latter hardly dazzles... well, it's time for the Yankees to invest in the future, not the past. 

The Yankees must give Gardy a shot. But if he doesn't hit in April-May, there can be no June-July.  And Gardner must decide how important it is to be a Yankee for life. To remember John Berendt - Syracuse native, by the way! - it is midnight in the garden of good and evil. Gardy can leave with a smile or lunging at the silverware, but it will end. And his days are getting short.

Excuse me if we've heard this before, but the Yankees supposedly are a lock to sign the top international prospect

Well, here we go again...?

Last year it was Jasson Dominiquez - aka "The Martian" - an 18-year-old, centerfield phenom whose videos evoked comparisons to Mickey Mantle and Mike Trout. Dominiquez looked incredible, surpassing all expectations...  and then he started playing in games. 

He hit .256 with 5 HR in the Florida dirt league. It's not that he's a bust - it's way too early for catcalls - let's just say his stock has mirrored Biden's poll numbers. After two years as the Yankees No. 1 prospect, he's now ranked third. He's supposedly grown "stockier" - hmm - than the lithe, Marvel superhuman we were promised. For now, his greatest achievement remains the $5.1 million bonus, biggest in Yankee history. "Stockier?" Hmm... didn't they say that about Jesus Montero? 

On that note, how should we digest the latest "news" within the Yankee echo chamber: That the Death Barge has an inside track on Broderick Arias, a 17-year-old Dominican shortstop who is being compared to Wander Franco. (Note: The new hype is to compare somebody to a star; I mean, theoretically, you can compare ME to Wander Franco... though Betty White would be closer.) Arias is a 6'1" switch-hitter with power, speed, yatta-yatta, who technically cannot sign with anybody until January. Supposedly, the Yankees have been courting this guy for months - I know what you're thinking; let's not be cynical. There's nothing unethical about wowing a 16-year-old. Maybe the Yankees just employ good-hearted scouts - father figures, so adorable that the kid and his family pledged their souls to the Yankees without ever thinking of money? 

Either way, let's hope the Cone of Inaccessibility they threw over the kid survives the alternative offers that will come between now and January. 

Once (that is, if) he's signed, I say we call him - drum roll, please - The Venusian!"

Apparently, the Yankees are playing a strategy: Shoot the moon on Arias - spend almost all of their allotted international bonus money in one massive ejaculation, then nickel-and-dime the lesser prospects. Let's never forget that Jose Altuve signed with Houston for $15,000. And don't get me wrong: I'm not trashing this plan. At least, they have one.

Whatever happens, Arias might be our last big Latino signing under the current system. The upcoming Players Union agreement will almost surely include an international free agent draft - eliminating yet another of the Yankees' financial advantages. An unanswered question - to me, anyway - is whether this looming international draft will be separate from the regular draft in June. If so, last-place teams would get twice the advantage, and the Yankees - in their quest to always contend - will slide deeper into the bog. 

Let's hope they merge the drafts, rather than let the worst teams draft first twice. I mean, what an incentive to tank! Come in last two years straight, and you'd have four No. 1 picks in your system. Imagine: An A-Rod, a Bryce Harper, a Wander Franco and a Ronald Acuna Jr. Yikes. Boston is already licking its chops. 

But getting back to Arias... It's nice to hear the Yankees have an inside track, but don't get comfy. Who can forget Yoan Moncada, who was a certain future Yankee, until the Redsocks outbid us by $30 million. They turned Moncada into Chris Sale and won a ring. Meanwhile, Felix Lopez, the Steinbrenner in-law who was supposed to run the Moncada deal, got jettisoned. He's no longer an in-law or listed on the masthead. Love and baseball, eh?

So, whoever out there who is running this Arias deal: Between now and January, don't skimp on the tacos. You gotta keep that kid happy. I hear he's the next Wander Franco. Venus and Mars, baby. Venus and Mars...

What will the Yankees do this winter? I know what Greta Thunberg would say...

Lately, as Internet psychics predict the upcoming Yankees' winter, I'm channeling Greta Thunberg. 

Sign blah blah blah... Trade blah blah blah... Look for blah blah blah...  

Let's face it. Nobody knows what Brian Cashman will do. Worse, Brian Cashman doesn't know. For example, in the next few days, Brett Gardner will unveil his plans for 2022 - return, retire, or become a free agent: Gardy is the butterfly flapping its wings in China, which eventually creates the tornado at the Walmart in Topeka. His decision knocks over the first domino. From there, the best way of projecting things: Blah blah blah...

So, if this is merely a clickbait parlor game - (spoiler alert: it is) - let's reverse gears. Instead of figuring out who must go, let's decide who should stay. Who are the Yankee Rocks of Gibraltar -players we can count on for, say, three years? (Note: Rocks of Gibraltar aren't what they used to be.) 

Here's my short list. Remember, we are not judging contracts. These are simply players who should remain competent through 2024, when Trump takes over and human history ends. 

1. Aaron Judge. This is easy. He's the face of the Yankees, an evolving team leader, a rock in RF, and it's hard to imagine him being Mookied. Pencil him in annually for 30 HRs and 90 RBIs. He's 29.

2. Gio Urshela. He's a Gold Glove-level 3B, and I will not forget his spectacular Jeter-like vault into the Blue Jays' dugout to snare a foul, as the season climaxed. He nearly saved our season by accepting a move to SS. I keep hearing how the Yankees should sign a big free agent SS - and then move the guy to 3B next year, when Anthony Volpe arrives. Excuse me, but isn't that certifiable? Isn't it how we got into this mess? We have a rock at 3B. He's 30. Leave him alone. He's a gamer.

3. Gerrit Cole. I know, I know... the wild card game. Well, what pitcher anywhere, ever again, can ever be counted on, for anything? Cole is our ace. A rock. He's 31.

4. Jordan Montgomery. He made an incredible, unheralded step in 2021. His 6-7 record belied his work. With run support - which would have lessened the stress on him - Monty could have won 15 games and maybe shortlisted for the Cy Young. He's 28.

And that's all, folks. Sorry, but everybody else -LeMahieu, Gleyber, Voit, Severino, et al - either fell apart in 2021 and/or faces a career crossroads. And that is the problem. 

I don't envy Cashman, though he painted himself into this corner. Every move will dictate a secondary deal. If we land a catcher, what happens to Gary Sanchez? If we trade Luke Voit, who's on first? And the SS decision is less a domino drop than a landslide. Still, we have a Core 4, sorta. Everything else is blah blah blah...

Thank you, Atlanta, for finally ending the season from Hell.

And the living shall envy the dead... part three.

Wow. It's finally over. Good riddance to the 2021 season. Eight weeks, and we're done with the year. I'm ready to pull the plug. This was the year of gaslighting - our new, shiny, three-dollar word for bullshit.

Yeah, bullshit. We should use it more often. When somebody claims the election is rigged, that a needle jab makes you magnetic, that JFK Jr. is alive, that the headsets made you call timeout, or that Yankees are The Team To Beat... no more debate. We have one play: Yell "BULLSHIT!" We can't argue about space lasers. We can't blame the umps, or the injuries, or the third base coach, or Antifa, or the federal agents who donned Yankee uniforms and false-flagged the wild card loss. We can't even blame the juju gods. All we can do is scream "BULLSHIT!" In 2022 - no, starting today - that's how we deal with Hal, with Cashman, with Boone, and with the Gammonites who supply them with fresh blood... Bullshit! 

Forgive me. I lost it. This is a Yankee fan blog. So let's stick to purified, felony-grade Yankee bullshit. 

Last spring, everybody assured us that Tampa had punted, that Boston was weak, and that Houston would never live down the scandal, and that we had a clear path to win the division and pennant. 

And - dear God - we ate it with a knife and fork. 

Well, finally, it's over. Congratulations to the Atlanta Falcons. Or Hawks. Whatever.

Once again, the lesson of October - as it has been for a generation now - is clear:

Teams win championships with rising players who are building their careers - not legacy stars who peaked three years ago. 

As long as the Yankees ignore this - (Note: They're about to break the bank on a free-agent shortstop) -they will chase wild cards. We will continually watch our rivals tank, rebuild and leapfrog past them. 

This Christmas, all I want is a plan. 

Instead of signing a star who makes us 2022 "front-runners," can we look long-range? 

Can we imagine each player not just at the beginning of his contract, but also at the end? 

Can we figure out why so many of our young players regress?  I'm talking about Clint Frazier, Gleyber Torres, Miguel Andujar, Gary Sanchez, Deivi Garcia - a generation of Yankee talent that has rotted on the vine.

Can we show the courage to bring up young players and let them play, rather than always trade for another ex-star past his prime? How many young outfielders, given the chance, would have outperformed Joey Gallo in August and September? (Note: He hit .160.)

Do we always have to go with veterans, whose ceilings are fixed? Did we have to play the entire summer to realize that Rougned Odor was not the answer at 2B?

Well, it's over. Good riddance. But can we, as fans, call what they're giving us by its real name?