If We Can Do Seven of Nine, We Win the Wild Card

Open Letter to the Yankeeverse...


Dear Madam or Sir:


It's tough when you think of Johnny Damon's muff, Justin Christian's pickoff and the 9 runs given up in California by the comedy team of Veras and Edwar... but darnit, we are still alive.


Alive!


For the rest of this godforsaken season, all we need do is take Seven of Nine.


When you taste the bile of Pavano on the way... THINK ABOUT SEVEN OF NINE!


Yes, we're asking a lot, but dangitall to gravy, a true Yankeologist makes sacrifice.

So when times get hard, imagine us grabbing Seven of Nine.

It's not easy. It's no fun. But we can do. Seven wins of every nine. We can even forfeit tonight's game to Roy Halladay. It doesn't matter... as long as we have the mental discipline to feast ourselves on Seven of Nine!

Seven of nine. Seven of nine. Sevenofnine. Sevenovni-ohhhhh, I can feel it, ohhhhhh, pappa, yesssss, seminovnine, yesssssssssssssssssssss, Suzynnnnnmmmmm...

That'll be 28 and 8. Don't let Giambi in your head. He's a rally killer. Sem of Nine. Mantle of Maris. Mm-mm...