Bailout Passes: U.S. Economy Expected to Sign Sabathia, Teixeira, AJ Burnettt

NEW YORK _ The U.S. economy, emboldened by a $700 billion cash infusion, announced dramatic plans to sign C.C. Sabathia and several other free agents for the 2009 Wall Street season.

"We're going to spend whatever it takes," U.S. Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson said, noting the economy plans to shed the contracts of Jason Giambi, Carl Farnsworth and possibly Bobby Abreu. "The taxpayers have authorized change, and that's what we're going to give them."

Paulson said the economy also might trade Robinson Cano, who turned into a toxic asset this year when he hit less than .270 and didn't hustle in the field.