Shock and Awe

On the same day that the " mysteriously absent " VP, Dick Cheney, went for his electric shock treatment ( "to restore his normal rhythm," his Doctors said) , Nancy Reagan broke her pelvis in a fall from her home ( shouldn't that read, " at her home?).

Buried by these domestic policy headlines were two key stories:

1. Madonna and Guy are divorcing, despite recent denials to the contrary ( sounds like the CEO of Lehman's speech that the company was, "in no danger and well-capitalized," just before the fall ).

This opens the door for A-Rod to move into Madonna's west side pad, or one she recently donated for Kaballa parties. As our readers know, on October 2nd, Madonna and Alex dined together at Dos Cominos ( fish tacos ad san gria for the boy, vegetable stew and holy water for the girl ).

Madonna has already announced that she "has agreed to be discreet about her relationship with A-Rod until her tour ends and the divorce is final."

Which brings me to important, buried story number two (2):

2. The Yankees, today, are starting the process of " sorting through " their off-season plans, at their organizational meetings in Tampa.

Co-chairmen Hank and Hal are rumored to be participating in the sessions, along with Randy Levine, Lonn Trost and Brian C.

A number of concrete agenda items have already been cleared for release to the media, and include such gems as:

A. "It ( the meetings ) is to set our off-season priorities."

B. " It ( the meetings ) is to identify what we need to try to do."

C. " This year, we are all pretty much on the same page, " offered Co-chair Hank.

D. " We know what we have to do, " added Hal.

E. "It's going to take a lot of work," clamored Hank.

F. "And a lot of effort," Hal retorted.

G. " Hopefully, we can get as much done as we hope," they answered in chorus.

H. One of the participants ( unnamed ) added; " We finished third because of the Division we're in."

At the close of day one (1), Co-Chairman Hank summed things up: " Is it acceptable for us to be with what we ended up with?"

My sources tell me that Brian Cashman then called Dick Cheney to ask for his electric shock guy.

Looks like we battle it out next year with Toronto for fourth place, given the Division we are in.

But we will all be diverted by the impending Madonna/ A-Rod caballa.