Saturday, September 24, 2011

Can You Smell the Scent of 2004? Megamind Cashman is already taking his victory lap

It took historians years to recognize the widespread depth and secrecy of the 1939 Manhattan Project - America's construction of the atom bomb, led by Edward Teller and Penn Gillette. Congress wasn't told. Harry Truman only learned after becoming President. (Note: Obama is still clueless about the colony of Gorns living in Area 51.)

Now... the Yankee Manhattan Project?

Last winter, Brian Cashman - according to Brian Cashman - pulled off the greatest subterfuge since Talia Shire abruptly became hot in "Rocky," (which only beats Molly Ringwald's transformation in "Breakfast Club" because Judd Nelson, playing a hood, (pictured right) blurred humankind's ability to discern truth from dare.)

Cashman - according to Cashman - feigned interest in free agent Carl Yazcrawford just to dupe Boston's moneyball pigeons into signing that obese and talentless waddling slug muffin for the kind of money that could buy Michelle Bachmann the state of Iowa. Hah. Cashman - according to Cashman - used his superior intellect to defeat our foes.

Well played, sir! However...

Why Cash says this on the eve of the AL playoffs is beyond my comprehension. Is he taking his victory lap? If so, how about waiting for the victory. Folks, this kind of crap has all the juju stench of 2004. This is how we played it seven years ago - congratulating ourselves, while the Redsocks fried in their own grease.

Listen: Cashman had a great year. Crawford has stunk - thus far. But Big Brain Brian ought to shut his blubbering, Rick-Perry-on-crack, jinx portal. There is a whole goddamm October of baseball yet to play, and it's the only month anybody will remember. The genius GM does not curse his team on the eve of the playoffs, or post locker room quotes to rev up the enemy.

WTF is Cashman thinking? Be afraid, Yankiverse. Be v. afraid.

1 comment:

Lyn Lary said...

In a business where every year that main thing you have to do is hoodwink the opposition, it really makes a lot of sense to reveal just how and when you were doing that (if you really were).

He’s such a twit. What you say is, ‘Bid up the price? No, we were really trying to get him. That’s just bad luck for Theo he didn’t work out this year, but Carl’s a great player and I’m sure he’ll bounce back in 2012 ya da ya da ya da...’

But this is how Cashman’s lasted so long in Steinbrenner land. His real goal is always to sell the media—and thus the Steinbrenners—on what a genius he is. The fact that this big revelation will only make Theo all the more determined to get him and all the less likely to fall for the same trick later—assuming it really was a trick, and not just something else Cashman was inventing—is only of secondary importance.