It is high, it is far, it is... caught!: I hate rooting against the Yankees, but why hope we win any of the next few games? So we can lose the final wild card slot by a game? So we can come in third? We are fourth in a five team division. Fourth in a five-team division. We deserve to be fourth in a five-team division.

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Monday, September 23, 2013

I hate rooting against the Yankees, but why hope we win any of the next few games? So we can lose the final wild card slot by a game? So we can come in third? We are fourth in a five team division. Fourth in a five-team division. We deserve to be fourth in a five-team division.

Posted by el duque at 8:22 AM

Here's an idea: Let's hold another ceremony to congratulate ourselves for coming in fourth!

58 comments:

JM said...: My hangover agrees with you. Sadly and logically.; September 23, 2013 at 8:49 AM
JM said...: Hey, who is this Anonymous asshole from a few posts ago? He/she is really a moron. I assume it's a guy because I've met few women over the years who are that stupid and assinine. Sue me.; September 23, 2013 at 8:54 AM
KD said...: Oh God, John! Don't bring him out from under his rock again.

I suppose we still play to win and be spoilers, at least of you hate the Devil Rays. The goofy Trop is enough reason for me.; September 23, 2013 at 9:27 AM
Anonymous said...: Hey John M.--YOU are a moron and an asshole--and pustulent wound of a human, a nematode, a block, a stone a worse than senseless thing--but worst of all, a Steinbrenner-ass-licking abject mindless sucker of a Yankee fan--no lower specimen of life on this planet. YUCK!

Now that you've had your little catharsis of vitriol today, I hope you feel better even though you find yourself voluntarily attached at the brainstem to a profiteering, rapacious corporation that spews contempt for its fans and would sell the hairs from Steinbrenner's mother's corpse through Steiner sports if they thought they could turn a nickel on it. Does that make you feel like a decent rational human being or the slimy little worm that you are?

If, on the other hand, you want to go toe-to-toe on any issue of substance that has arisen in the past few days: PEDs, Pettitte's character in relation to PEDs, split infinitives, whatever, I'll be glad to dispatch you as I have the others.

Bet you don't have the mettle to go on substance--your brain and spine are too far gone from your years of sucking at the toxic teat of the New York/Tampa Steinbrenners.

Good! Sounds like you deserve it.; September 23, 2013 at 2:46 PM
JM said...: Yep, that's the guy. Although it might be a female. I don't know any guys who type all-cap words like YUCK!, with an exclam, to boot. Pretty girly, or perhaps just a Red Sox fan.

I'd say it was a big put-on, but there's the ring of pure insanity there. Hope the job at McD's works out.; September 23, 2013 at 3:15 PM
el duque said...: John M,

Don't let him get to you.; September 23, 2013 at 3:36 PM
KD said...: But Anon, I insulted you too. Where’s my dose of vitriol? I’m just sett’n here defenseless, a wee little public school grad with a double digit IQ that went to Big State U and got all C’s. Give it to me baby! I want it HARD!!

Sorry for feeding it, Duque. I’m feeling neglected and I need something to make me forget the Youk banner, still taunting me near Gate 8, and that pitiful one-run performance yesterday. Plus, you need the traffic, right? Say, did you guys ever make it down for a game this year?; September 23, 2013 at 3:53 PM
Anonymous said...: Oh sure, John M.--you come on line to toss your vial of venom at someone who never addressed a word to you, and the guy who gives it back to you is "insane." But you, who roam Web sites in search of an outlet for your random, free-floating malice--you're a study in mental balance--especially with your snarling homophobic innuendo; whassamatter, Johnny--got a small weenie? I hear there's a pill you can take to make it grow big and strong--an inch a week! I think Andy Pettitte has a good source for it--give him a call.

Ah, the delights of the pack animal. Howl away, losers--you've got your hearts and souls buried in the toxic sludge of an organization so polluted with incompetence and greed that it makes Love Canal seem like Shangri-La by comparison. The Yankees--Baseball Superfund site.

You have, in no particular order:

1. One of the worst travesties of a ballpark in the annals of MLB.
2. The two worst lead announcers in MLB--in Sterling's case, possibly in the history of MLB.
3. The dumbest general manager in MLB.
4. One of the worst farm systems in MLB.
5. The most inept and corrupt and mercenary and fan-unfriendly ownership in MLB.

So let the wolfpack howl away the livelong day--I won't deny you lonely, desolate beasts the comforts of the herd animal. That's all you've got, and all you will have, for at least five long years (five years if you're lucky!). And here's the reason: you swallow all the slop the Steinbrenners ladle down your throats and then beg for more. If you had spines, you would stand up and say "Enough! We're walking away from the whole slimy business until we get new owners who can restore a modicum of the dignity and greatness of the Yankee name that has been relentlessly defaced by this demented family."

But you pathetic masochists just beg for more--more shit shoved down your throats.

You're wasting your time out here--you all need to pool your resources to get together for a session of group therapy for sadomasochists.; September 23, 2013 at 4:57 PM
el duque said...: A full moon and a Redsock pennant always brings them out.; September 23, 2013 at 5:12 PM
Anonymous said...: Oh, sure, Hart. Blame all the Yankees' woes on the moon and the Red Sox. That will get you exactly nowhere if you're serious about seeing the Yankee franchise rise from the ashes.; September 23, 2013 at 5:19 PM
Squid Lips said...: At first it seemed a novelty to have attracted a troll who apparently knows how to use the OED. But, the critical thinking skills just aren't there. He's angry with me because he feels I did not respond to his arguments. But, the arguments he makes are convoluted. The paragraphs somewhat make sense, but as for a unifying theme, some cogent argument, it just isn't there. He reminds me a little of Andy Kaufman, posturing after a wrestling match.; September 23, 2013 at 5:27 PM
Corazon, the heart worm said...: Animus, You are a baseball fan, right? A fan of any team?; September 23, 2013 at 5:27 PM
Nostradamus of River Avenue said...: Animus/Anonymous is in his 60s, has an occasional drink, educated in an Ivy League school, roots for the Red Sox, is single, makes between $65,000-$75,000 per year, regards himself as moderate to liberal (but whose rage pushes him to the right on occasion), and lives on Long Island. Society would consider him to be successful professionally, but he remains dissatisfied with his lot in life. He is not particularly religious and has a jaundiced view of humankind. And he does indeed feel violated because he paid good money for those darned pills and they have no effect on his small weenie, as he laments, above.; September 23, 2013 at 6:00 PM
el duque said...: Wait a second,

Anonymous, are you the same Anonymous who is posting under the name Anonymous? Or are you a different Anonymous?

Full moon.; September 23, 2013 at 6:09 PM
Blind Robin said...: Duque, what did you do to be called out by name?; September 23, 2013 at 6:46 PM
el duque said...: It's probably my wife.; September 23, 2013 at 7:07 PM
Anonymous said...: 1. Squid Lips: Aside from your puerile personal attacks, you have made exactly one substantive point, about split infinitives, a subject on which you were exposed as an ignoramus. So much for your resume as linguist. But just for fun, allow me to hammer another nail in that coffin. In another thread you challenged me to produce my "Curriculum Vita." Two points: the two words should not be uppercased; the second word is vitae, not vita, you idiot. Let me ask, Squid Lips--do you lack the gene that triggers public embarrassment in normal people?

Now you aspire to the more exalted status of literary critic; allow me to advise you--you have to give examples. Perhaps you were absent from seventh-grade composition class on the day that lesson was taught. Glad to be of help.

2. Nostradamus of River Avenue: Your career as Kreskin's caddy has just run aground. But your career as a posturing, sneering oaf has endless possibilities--I suggest you consult the Master, John Sterling, for some lessons.

My pedigree as a Yankee fan outstrips that of anyone on this list. Maybe someday I'll fill you in on the details. I suppose that what distinguishes me from the reigning wolfpack is that there's a limit to my willingness to prostrate myself the brain-dead spawn of a sadistic lunatic (i.e., the Steinbrenner family), along with their posse of sycophants, lawyers, and dunces.

The once-proud Yankees are a sick joke--and you guys, with bottomless appetite for incompetence, mediocrity, and bad taste, are the butt of the joke.; September 23, 2013 at 7:28 PM
Squid Lips Unbowed said...: Hah. Knew you would go after "vita/vitae". Ironically (since you chose common usage over formal usage in reference to split infinitives), you choose "vitae" which is technically correct but in universities rarely used, in favor of "vita". You DO realize that you are being inconsistent here? In short, you are not employed as an academician. Not sure what exactly your background is, but we have established you went to college probably in Connecticut or Massachusetts.

But what is strange is that the Steinbrenners are uniformly criticized in this blog. Rarely have they been praised. So why would you go after this blog? Not the Steinbrenners or a purist attitude, but something else.

Incidentally, my pedigree is bigger than yours. I can gauge your chronological age from the references you make. In a week, I'll have your social security number.; September 23, 2013 at 7:54 PM
Squid Lips, your adoring fan, said...: Hah hah. And by the way, you do use capital letters when it is used as a heading, and that's how it is used most often in standard practice. You're right that in a sentence you would want to use small case, but then one should always strive to use small case. If you want to get picky, shouldn't you have italicized the word as well?; September 23, 2013 at 7:59 PM
Sam "Mayday" Malone, fictional Red Sox legend, said...: Does Anonymous remind anyone else of Diane Chambers? Just wonderin'.; September 23, 2013 at 8:08 PM
Blind Robin said...: Not sure if I am witness to a coup or ruse but either way, with the New York team prospects, this could hold us over until February. I do enjoy the strutting.; September 23, 2013 at 8:13 PM
el duque said...: This is the greatest thread ever.; September 23, 2013 at 8:29 PM
Joey Badabing said...: Hey, Anonymous. You have really knocked around these smug candy-assed college boys! Nice job, pal. I love what you're doin. These guys make me sick, too. Prancin' around, tryin to be smart-assed. They work in those Manhattan high rise buildings all day and then go back to their apartments and try to be cutsie. Bleagh. So, Anonymous, you ready to go for the jugular? I know who these bloggers are. Their real names and addresses. I got criminal records. Compromising photos. Outstanding arrest warrants. You are doin such a great job on this blog, I'm going to turn over all this stuff to you. Go get 'em! Meet me along the fence, just outside Central Park, right across from the Dakota, after 11pm. You may have to wait a few minutes, but it is worth it. I'll be disguised as an NYPD officer. When you see the uniform, yell out "Hey, flatfoot! Got any spare doughnuts?" That's how I will recognize you. See you soon, pal.; September 23, 2013 at 8:39 PM
Ken of Brooklyn said...: Whoa, just catching up with the IIHIIFIIC SWF diatribes of aka Anonymous aka Diane Chambers, she seems to think we are hunky dory with the Steinbrenner Boys and the current state of the Yankee Union, obviously she has 1. Not done her homework, 2. She has too much time on her hands to harangue and harass a bunch of downtrodden sods on the saddest day of their pathetic throw in the towel season, and 3. Her meds we're delayed in the mail! If this is her personality online, god help anybody unlucky enough to be within a 20 block radius of this event horizon. El Duque, she actually may be my ex-wife, this SOUNDS like you Catherine,,,, Catherine,,,, CATHERINE,,,, is that YOU?????; September 23, 2013 at 8:50 PM
Marcia Brady, former Desi Arnaz Jr. groupie, said...: Anonymous? AnonyMOSTEST is more like it!; September 23, 2013 at 9:03 PM
Nostradamus of River Avenue/ Kreskin's caddy said...: And I can say with all certainty that Anonymous is a LIBERTARIAN!; September 23, 2013 at 9:04 PM
Blind Lemon Pledge, legendary blues guitarist from Memphis TN, said...: He ain't no LIBRARIAN! Y'all been punked. Ain't no Anonymous. It's Alphonso. He's pullin' your chains, baby!; September 23, 2013 at 9:17 PM
Robert Stigwood, Berry Gordy's caddy, said...: Nostradamus- Anonymous's description of you as Kreskin's caddy has put into my mind a fine band name for you: Kc and the There Will Be Sunshine Band. But you already knew that. My apologies.; September 23, 2013 at 9:20 PM
Robert Stigwood, detective the faintest whiff of a pound Sterling (!?!), said...: Blind Lemon! Call me sometime, my man! We'll cut some down-low and funky-ass mp3s!; September 23, 2013 at 9:24 PM
Robert Stigwood, playing Anonymous's advocate said...: "detective the faintest whiff"? I assume you meant "detecting", you stupid, ass-sniffing, ad-hom-attacking, point-evading, ...YUCK!; September 23, 2013 at 9:30 PM
Hal Steinbrenner, principal owner, managing general partner and co-chairman of the New York Yankees said...: We're both part of the same hypocrisy, Anonymous, but never think it applies to my family. So you can have my answer now. YOU personally will put up the entire $189 million payroll for my team. And, you'll care personally for my toupee. Groom it. Caress it. Adore it.; September 23, 2013 at 9:35 PM
Blind Lemon Pledge, legendary blues guitarist from Memphis TN, said...: Stigwood, where my MONEY, man? You let Clapton record my stuff and I get nothin. Whazzup with that shit, whitebread?; September 23, 2013 at 9:55 PM
Anonymous said...: Nothing worth responding to here--no surprise. Just the usual punks gathered to flaunt their frat-house japes.

SQ--you're full of shit. First of all, you weren't using the phrase as a heading. Second, cite me an example of the use of "vita" in ANY reputable academic setting--and by "reputable" I don't mean the community college that you flunked out of. Here are a couple of examples to instruct you, SQ, inept and hapless and full of shit to the last:

http://www.princeton.edu/pr/pictures/g-k/krugman/Krugman-CV.pdf

http://english.jhu.edu/cameronvitaMay2011.pdf

http://www.fas.harvard.edu/~phildept/files/CV_Scanlon.pdf

So . . . what other "dog-ate-my-homework" excuses do you have for us, SQ?

I hereby nominate you as the sorriest loser on this site, the bottom of a very rotten barrel.; September 23, 2013 at 10:45 PM
Robert Stigwood, all helpful and optimistic and shit, said...: Blind Lemon, you got me all wrong...this isn't about money; this is about EXPOSURE! You're the artist. You create. I get it out there for you; I get it into the pale paws of Slowhand; he gets into a detailed (albeit much too sober) backstory about your art at, say the Isle Of Wight XXXIV festival; the kids (the HIP kids, man!) hear your song (your ART!!!!!!, man!) and brother, your ticket is punched!

I...I shouldn't even say this, but I have ALREADY got you lined up for a gig at the Pal-Mac High School in Wayne County, New York. NEW YORK!!!, man! And you're the headliner, boss! 200-seat room, a whole FIFTY FEET from the snow-cone machines (I measured it with tape measures in both English and Metric; I read your riders, man!) and nowhere I mean NOWHERE near the Spin-Art booth! None of that (I think you called) "Shit-ass buzzin' shit" like the last time, out in Ottumwa...I'm working for you, Lemon! Not about Money with me! Just getting Pledge IN THE HOUSE! Toe in that door, and you're golden, brother. GOLDEN!; September 23, 2013 at 11:00 PM
The Squidmeister said...: Princeton & Harvard. I am on the right track, no? Incidentally, I retraced my steps to see if I had leveled any personal attacks at you. Honestly, I don't see any. Constructive criticism and contradiction. But nothing nasty about your person. Not a word about your mother, nor how you beat the family dog. Wouldn't say a word about how you lost your virginity to a sun-ripened watermelon. However, look at all the unkind remarks you have made in your perambulations through this blog, especially to KD and John. You'll not be given the Mr. Affability Award this year. Finally, to be singled out by you is a notable achievement.Thank you. May I include that in my CV? By the way, your confident assertion that "Vita" is not how one uses the term in a heading will doubtless result in literally thousands of professors being stripped of rank. Your purge continues. Ein volk, ein reich, ein Anonymous.; September 23, 2013 at 11:13 PM
Blind Lemon Pledge, legendary blues guitarist from Memphis TN, said...: Stiggy, you the best. I will be there! I will even take requests, but not "Enter Sandman", OK?; September 23, 2013 at 11:16 PM
Anonymous said...: SQ, really--what do you put on your income tax form as your occupation--Internet doofus?

Show me an example of a CV from a reputable institution that uses "vita" rather than "vitae"--you're bluffing--a nattering, babbling idiot.

By the way--other than accusing me of being on meds and associating me with the Nazi Party of Germany, you certainly haven't made any personal attacks.

Nor have I initiated any personal attacks. You can't find a single such example--in every case I have simply returned fire that was initiated against me. That's the last time I will address any direct words to the manifestly dopey SQ, the group Caliban. Beneath contempt or any further response.

To the rest of you guys--I did manage to elicit one point of substance amid all the strenuously sophomoric repartee: you plead, "But we don't like the Steinbrenners either!" But you don't have the spine to go on a fan strike, to tell them to shove their fraudulent Bizarro world Yankees and their kitschy Epcot Yankee McStadium until and unless they sell the team to people who care about the fans and know how to run a ball club.

That would require some character--and I see very little in the comment columns.

I should add that I consider Hart Seely a wit on a par with Mencken or Twain, and I'm sorry he is chained to this fallen horse of a franchise and to gluttons for misery who swarm over his otherwise entertaining and insightful Web site.; September 23, 2013 at 11:38 PM
Hal Steinbrenner, principal owner, managing general partner and co-chairman of the New York Yankees said...: Anonymous. I'm waiting for the $189 million. Have your ip address. Do it now.; September 23, 2013 at 11:43 PM
Robert Stigwood, pragmatist somewhat extrordinaire, said...: All good, Lemon. You're the man. You're the boss. you're the BOSSMAN!!!

I'm with you on the no "Enter Sandman" thing, baby...but we might have a tiny problem. Nothing big. You know me, Bossman; there ARE no big troubles, only opportunities! OPPORTUNITIES, LEMON!!!

Here's the deal: the locals (buncha hicks; call themselves 315ers and still still STILL!!!! hang onto Grandpa Munster being one of THEM, MAYBE, a hundred years ago) have this...I know it's stupid, but hear me out: the locals have this idea that a bunch of there kids could come on stage and BACK YOU on "Enter Sandman". Crazy, right? I know...and I'll deal with it. I WILL DEAL WITH IT! You are Blind Lemon Pledge! You are a blues LEGEND! You are...man, in the grand scheme of things you tell Robert Johnson he's at the wrong fucking crossroads! Lead Belly!?! 12-string half-ass-picking Warden's-ass-kissing bitch? Are you kidding me? Seriously? Compared to you, they ain't the shine off sandpaper...you see, man? YOU SEE WHAT'S GOING ON? You got ME thinking blues!

Anyway, Bossman, like I said earlier: OPPORTUNITY!!! And fifty kids with kazoos is just that: OPPORTUNITY!

No reason you gotta do it; you are an artist with a capital GREAT ARTIST. Just saying it's something to think about, Bossman. After all, great art brings about surprising things. Changes, shifts in perception. And you never know when kazoos will be the bad-ass backing instrument. You can't know; neither can I. But that buncha goddamn kids in Wayne County might know. They might be onto something. WAY onto something.

It's your world Bossman; I just fish here. But you are THE MAN! and if those kids know something, YOU should know it, too! Ten years from now you'll kick your own ass if you don't.; September 23, 2013 at 11:49 PM
Squid Lips Unbowed said...: Anonny anon and anon:

Lots of CVs in the form I described, in reality, not merely as a few templates on websites. You could ask your Dean, but they probably won't let you in his office unless you can get through the metal detector.

You have cussed out numerous bloggers on this site, accused everyone of being in bed with the Steinbrenners, and to return to my original point- your "arguments" make no sense or belabor the obvious. You say PEDs are a curse. Who would disagree? You say the Steinbrenners have managed their ballclub poorly, even irresponsibly. No argument on this blogsite. At the end of the day, you have the ability to cut and paste from the internet, recite the same cliched insults ad infinitum, and you own a dog-eared thesaurus. But the quality of mind just isn't there, is it? That's why you take umbrage at our teasing.

You're a tortured soul, clearly. So maybe it isn't quite proper to poke fun at you, even if you initiated this nonsense.

However, you've livened up the blog at a particularly low point. Bully for you. If it could be done, we'd give you a sloppy Squid Lips kiss on your troubled brow.; September 24, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Elwyn W. said...: I'm floating here over the coast of Maine wondering why I've been here so long (I'm blaming-or maybe thanking-Fred). Incidents involving Model T's and cinnamon toast and a bunch of other things keep me awake (if this is, in fact, awake).

Anonymous is weakening. I can feel it through every pore. And I shouldn't worry about this-been 30 years since I walked on train tracks in a photographically measurable way-but I know how things work down there, and Anonymous's sudden seeming kindness troubles me.

Katherine tells me I shouldn't use this phrase, that there's some reason I shouldn't say it, but it's the only one that makes sense and so I do: I sense a chink in Anonymous's armor. He (or she; you'd think we'd know by now. I always thought we would) seems to be showing signs of kindness in his (or her) recent posts. Frankly it troubles me not the least; I have been through hurricanes and Seattle rooftops and a whole lot of other things. But among those other things I have picked doodles out of wastebaskets, saved them. I have seen things. And I would mostly say having had much time to ponder it all (and I have pondered almost all of it) that I hope Anonymous sticks to his guns and doesn't give an inch and maybe flips the bird at his detractors. Theoretically or metaphorically, of course. No need for more war. But disagreement seems to follow us or lead us, and I can say from up here that Fred needs to pee. And so it continues.; September 24, 2013 at 12:47 AM
Anonymous said...: Elwyn--
I was complimentary--not kind--to Hart Seely because he deserves it. His is a unique and rare talent.

On the other hand, the jerks who blight the comment columns . . . why belabor the obvious. They are testimony to the alarming unraveling of the American mind. Read enough blog comments and you see a culture choking on its excesses of malice, cheap irony, and despair as the American way--not just the Yankee way--begins to crumble all around them.

For an instructive contrast, look at the comments in the on-line version of the UK Guardian--mostly witty, insightful, literate. By contrast, the comments on most US blogs are just so much slash-and-burn madness, running the intellectual gamut from A to B, to borrow from Dorothy Parker.

There's no doubt that Andy Pettitte is a smug phony who has cheated an lied his way to fame and fortune (as have countless other major leaguers and others of the rich and famous, including almost the entire financial elite of the country). If the habitués of this site can acknowledge--partially--the bitter truth about the Steinbrenners, why does the blunt truth about Pettitte trigger waves of apoplexy and deranged invective? I think it's because so many fans want to believe in their heroes with the same earnestness they brought to the game when they were eight or eleven. There is something charming in this innocence, but it is also delusional in an adult, for this kind of misplaced credulity disarms us in the face of evils large and small. Fans want to imagine the best of their heroes and the worst of their adversaries--so it's OK to heap contempt on Ryan Braun, but don't diss my Andy! They imagine Andy to be the noble unblemished warrior of their imagination, even though he confessed to nothing until he was caught, even though he was slurping at the same PED trough as Roger Clemens, and even though he tossed off a plainly preposterous lie to minimize the extent of his knavery. If Andy were named Ryan, the assembled lynch mob would have no trouble seeing past his soft-shoe routine.

As Paul Simon once wrote, a man sees what he wants to see and disregards the rest. Or as someone else once wrote in a rather different contexts, the empires of the imagination are the last to fall.; September 24, 2013 at 1:29 AM
Andy White said...: Hello, Anonymous! It's me, Elwyn, though the name is different. You had me teary-eyed briefly at your mention of "Andy". It might well have been the sun in my eyes as I stood in the dooryard attempting to entice Fred to head homeward (tonight: a handful of chicken bits. No sale. Fred is still Fred.) but something clicked in the cosmos and leaves me, well, still dead...but with something still working somehow to make me remember Cornell and President White and, though I dasn't say it, leaves me rather both embarrassed and extremely proud at the remembrance.

As for this other Andy you mention, I have nothing to either strengthen or refute your claim. I'm sorry it's that way; I wish I could provide more clarity. I can't.

Your words, despite your claims of mere compliment, were kind regarding Mr. Seely. That may well upset you; I mean no harm. Just saying how it feels as it bounces and refracts and whatever else's its way back up here. I know you have bigger fish to fry (I've heard of Nintendo) but I, in the...whatever this is...suggest that maybe you are on the right path with the kindness thing. There may be a great, excruciating reason to act the way you have so far. How would I know? Failing that (as I would never say if I was still down there holding heat lamps over what now seem most-unfortunate Maine-born calves as the winds grew and...you get it) just enjoy your life as best you can.

You are correct; I was off-base on the complimentary/kind side of things. It happens when one's been away so long, and I apologize.

Thanks for the Andy. It's been awhile.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to...nowhere, really. Another slow day. Just one kid who says he's invented a glue to bind infinitives. I'll listen for a minute, then ask him what he's got to move participles along.

I always thought it was different down there. It's not.

Thanks again for the Andy, A!; September 24, 2013 at 2:40 AM
KD said...: What a great diversion. Thanks guys!!; September 24, 2013 at 7:55 AM
Hal S. of Tampa said...: Anon: Gave your ip address to Luca Brasi. He'll see you before lunchtime EDT. Have the $189 million in stainless steel briefcases, ready to go. If not, Anonymous, your fragile if grandiose ego will sleep with the fishes.; September 24, 2013 at 9:47 AM
Anonymous said...: "Hal S."--please don't give up your day job. You're not clever. You're not witty. You're just a malicious jerk who THINKS he's clever and witty. There's nothing or no one in the world more boring or pathetic than that. Why not just stop posting before you embarrass yourself further?

If you had something to say, you would say it. Since you don't, you strike a pose and riff. But there is a deafening silence from your imagined audience.

Go back to cheating people of their life's savings as a financial advisor or whatever other dumbass American "job" you do while nursing your delusions of literary grandeur.

And you can squeeze your Andy doll to your lonely breast at night for comfort against the onslaughts that will soon sweep away your cherished American "comforts" and your philistine complacency about life in general.

As Brecht said, he who laughs has not yet heard the terrible news.; September 24, 2013 at 1:03 PM
Robot's Rules of Order said...: Just pondering the 180 degrees that separate a man who believes 99% of the world's population are unworthy to share "his" planet, from the other end of the spectrum, Paul of Tarsus who despite all his gifts and achievements regarded himself as chief of sinners. You honestly believe that you are a living paradigm for ignorant "phillistine" [sic] bloggers?; September 24, 2013 at 3:37 PM
Anonymous said...: Robert's Rules:

There is a thin line between profundity and gibberish. In your post above, you have leaped headlong across it, with no way back. State what you mean in decipherable English--no need to strain for erudite effect when your reach so poignantly exceeds your grasp.

Far more alarming than your sophomoric pretentiousness is your evidently failing eyesight. I spelled "philistine" correctly. You added an "l" so you could tack on the [sic]. I guess when you have nothing coherent to say, you must take your solace where you can--even though in this case your solace is illusory.

Go [sic] yourself, pal. And go have your eyes refracted while you're at it.; September 24, 2013 at 3:53 PM
Sam Walton, miopic [sic] superstore visionary, said...: Come on in and take advantage of our "[sic] Into Fall" special: buy one [sic] at the regular price and get that eye refraction for half-price!

(Offer requires proof of identity.); September 24, 2013 at 4:02 PM
Warren Buffett said...: Begging your pardon, but if you regard financial advisors as "dumbass", what do you think of people that staff day care centers? Plumbers? Soldiers? Paramedics? Folks that stock shelves in supermarkets? Please, hold forth.; September 24, 2013 at 4:17 PM
Anonymous said...: If you could possibly equate financial advisors--collectively, a kleptocracy of sleazeballs--with daycare workers or paramedics--people who actually help other people rather than bamboozle and shaft them--then we need know no more about your ethical/social myopia. You need more than your eyes refracted--you need your brain refracted.

In case you hadn't noticed, nearly all the new jobs created in the past few years in this fake bubble economy are low-wage, nonexportable service industry jobs like restaurant servers, bartenders, hotel maids, etc.--because the corporate class has outsourced all the decent jobs and because the financial class has wrecked the real economy with its hare-brained occult financial toys and "instruments."

The reason we have a real (as opposed to finagled) unemployment rate pushing 20 percent, a record number of people on food stamps, and precious little growth in the real economy (as opposed to the fake growth occurring from the stock market bubble) is that too many people in nonproductive jobs like "financial advisors" have sucked too much of the real wealth toward the one percent, leaving the rest of the country bordering on third-world status in income and quality of life. And the worst is yet to come as the whole unsustainable carbon-based economy comes crashing down because of peak oil and climate emergency.

That's why "financial advisor" is a dumbass job, and that's why the New York Bizarro World Yankees catering to this very class of con artists has ruined the franchise, with its overleveraged Epcot McStadium and its echoing canyons of empty overpriced seats.

Clear enough?; September 24, 2013 at 5:04 PM
Tearful-no-more Robot's Rules of Order said...: Ah, I was ashamed to admit it. My sore eyes fail me because I weep for you, Anonymous. Your immortal soul filled with rage, so unhappy with your fellows in this great land of ours. You carry a heavy burden, fretting over the lost sheep of Yankee Stadium. But now that I have heard your message, I'm no longer blind. The scales fall from my eyes as I hear your message of TRUTH. Imagine my relief in reading your immensely humorous Sam Walton piece. Hah! It's great! A little slapstick is good for the soul, Anonymous. May I recommend a few episodes of "The Three Stooges" to alleviate your angst? You can buy them on DVD in the bins at Wal-Mart. Well, my eyes are clearing, the sunset is glorious and (thanks to your message) I am grateful to be alive. Best wishes to you. RRO; September 24, 2013 at 5:04 PM
Warren Buffett said...: Thank you, Anonymous. Moving words indeed. It's reassuring to know that a man of your integrity and intelligence sympathizes with the working classes, as smelly as they are. Have you considered running for public office? Give me a call next time you're in Omaha, provided of course that you're not a Communist. Cheers. Warren; September 24, 2013 at 5:15 PM
Anonymous said...: WB--
You and your fellow Yankeebots slather on sarcasm just as an aging Hollywood actress slathers on the layers of makeup. But your japes cannot disguise the essential rot and vacuity. You've got nothing, you are nothing, apart from your desperate tribal loyalty to a corrupt corporate brand. This is the rotten fruit of your manhood--the culmination of all your decades of earnest desperate enactment of the rituals of American "manhood"--roaring for team sports, rooting for the right team, drinking the right beer, boffing the right kinds of babes, driving the right car, sending your kids to the right college, rocking out to the right bands--never pausing to consider that all that earnest priapic striving has left you as nothing but the mark of a bunch of sharpies, the squire of a cultural estate that is tottering into oblivion, just like the long-lost real Yankee Stadium.

Mock on, WB. Your glory days are the stuff that dreams are made on, and you're about to wake up from that dream into a very ugly nightmare indeed.; September 24, 2013 at 5:34 PM
Nattering nematode said...: Please please please let this spill to recent posts. Anon, I do expect a response to the last post by Warren Buffett as I do not and am sure you do not read Buffett that way.; September 24, 2013 at 5:40 PM
Nattering Nabob of Negativism, a disciple of Mr. Anonymous, said...: This "Anonymous" fella is the great misanthrope of our age. We should honor him. In Iroquois fashion. Mr. Anonymous, ever been boned up the ass for being a fuckin' wise guy? Really? You enjoyed it?; September 24, 2013 at 7:57 PM
The REAL Warren Buffett, Omaha, Nebraska, said...: Yes, that previous post was not me, and misrepresents my attitude toward the American worker. However, my very existence refutes Mr. Anonymous' characterization of Wall Streeters. Berkshire Hathaway is not anti-labor. Because I feel an obligation to the American public, however, I cannot endorse the extremist views espoused by Mr. Anonymous, either.; September 24, 2013 at 8:51 PM
Anonymous said...: I hope Mr. Nattering Nabob will proudly display his "boned up the ass" post to his children and his parents, who will be verklempt with pride and love, knowing that their son and father is a demented, slavering racist and homophobe. The one revelation they could never live down, however is that he remains an unwavering fan of the Bizarro Yankees. I hope he at least has the decency to spare them that trauma.; September 24, 2013 at 10:32 PM

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