Friday, November 29, 2013

New Thanksgiving Weekend Tradition: Things I HATE

Fake rock crowds at football halftime shows.

In other words, I hate Super Bowl shows and nationally televised home games of the Dallas Cowboys.

Listen: I don't mind the fact that the NFL hires flavor-of-the-week actss - the latest boy or girl band, performing songs more homogenized than baby formula. I accept the crass, ruthlessness of bottom-feeding TV ratings-boosters. There is no sense opposing the proliferation of the Selena Gomezes and the One Directions.  That ship sailed.

But I hate the fake crowds used by the NFL to mask the reality that nobody in a stadium gives a rat's ass about the half-time show, because it's entirely aimed at the TV viewing audience. Long ago, they realized that sticking a band on a stage in the middle of a football field looks stupid and inconsequential. So they round up a bunch of human sheep to jog onto the field and pretend to be an actual rock crowd.

If these fake people had any integrity, they would run to the center of the field, and then sit to protest the fake show, on behalf of their 60,000 brothers and sisters in the stands. These people paid good money to be pissed upon by a league more concerned about its image than its fans. But the toads press up against the stage and wave their hands in collaboration with the band, making it seem intimate, as long as the right camera angles are used.

The announcers pretend to be excited, the crowd pretends to be excited, and everybody at home is making sandwiches in the kitchen. So the Big Lie - that anybody cares about this crapola - just keeps going.

1 comment:

KD said...

I miss the marching bands. I really do. Just not enough money to be made with them, I suppose.