One of the little known talents of Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig is his genius for telling a story with his hands. Yes, his hands.
"Once upon a time, there was one player..."
"He was very stubborn...
"When told the rules, he pretended not to hear...
"He turned a blind-eye to his king,
the Commissioner...
"When asked if he broke the rules,
he replied, 'Who? Me?'
"The king told this man, 'YOU MUST STOP!'...
"But the man, who called himself A-Rod,
said, 'Feh! Harumph! Pah.!'
"You wanna piece a me? Come on, king..."
The King said to his court, 'We shall pray for the truth.'
"But they did not hear him properly...
"They thought he said, 'We shall PAY for the truth.'
"The King said, 'Wowzer!'
"He said, 'Somebody must grab this man, A-Rod, by the neck...'
"... And then plug him in the head!"
"And so A-Rod was put horizontal...
"The stench that permeated the kingdom went away...
"And the king went out and got really, really stoned!"
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